Scotland has 2,174 miles of trunk roads, of which 1.7 miles (that’s just under 0.08%) comprise the Queensferry Crossing. For the next few days those 1.7 miles are going to be subject to some partial lane closures on the southbound side for maintenance.
They’ll cause almost no disruption, because as it happens there’s another very similar bridge conveniently located just a couple of hundred yards away – linked directly to all the same roads – that traffic will use instead.
Not much of a story, is it? We don’t know how many miles of Scotland’s roads have roadworks on them on any given day of any given week, but we suspect it’s quite a lot. It tends not to make the news beyond a few seconds on the traffic bulletin at the end, but today was different.
Yesterday’s Daily Record (which would increasingly be an accurate three-word name for the paper) ran an innocuous piece of page-filler fluff rubbish, and for once we’re not talking about a David Torrance column.
It featured the “psychic” predictions of a man who, the Record told us – no fewer than FIVE times in the opening few lines – previously predicted Donald Trump’s victory in the US presidential election, and who had a track record of “incredible accuracy”.
Quite a few remarkable things were said on last night’s STV debate between the two prospective leaders of the Labour Party branch office in Scotland. This one, though, was especially striking.
That’s Anas Sarwar denying three times that he was a part of the “Better Together” campaign with the Tories. A startled Colin Mackay claims to have seen photographs of Sarwar campaigning with BT, at which point Sarwar insists no, he merely appeared on TV debates which happened to also have Tory guests.
The Daily Record have continued to run Kezia Dugdale’s weekly column despite her resignation as Scottish Labour branch office manager (North British division), and this week we were interested to note her assessment of the devolution years, which could be summarised neatly as “Labour devolution good, SNP devolution bad”.
We raised an especially quizzical eyebrow at the claim that the 1999-2007 Labour/Lib Dem administrations had apparently ended homelessness. So we thought we’d do that thing we do when Kezia Dugdale claims something.
The Scottish media this week has started to rather resemble Argentina under General Galtieri’s military junta – everywhere you look are the ghosts of the disappeared.
The best we can say is that at least this time it took four months for the Secretary Of State’s promise to completely and utterly collapse, not 48 hours.
“Colonel” Ruth Davidson took time out from her holidays yesterday to unleash an extraordinary (and unusually defensive) 35-part Twitter tirade about the reaction to her appointment as an honorary military commander. So barren is the summer political news desert that two newspapers put it on their front page today, giving the BBC an excuse to deem it the day’s biggest story.
This was David Mundell on Sunday, guaranteeing that any extra money produced for Northern Ireland to secure DUP backing for the Tory government would be matched by more funding for Scotland (as much as £4.5bn under normal Barnett Formula rules, because Scotland has nearly three times the population of the province):
We hadn’t been planning to talk any more about the curious case of Claire Austin, the suddenly publicity-shy Edinburgh nurse who – how can we put this? – seemed a rather ill-chosen figurehead for the good cause of getting more pay for a group of people who are rightly well-regarded by the public.
But yesterday, the release of a letter from Scottish Labour branch manager Kezia Dugdale re-opened political hostilities after last week’s hiatus for the Manchester terror attack by shoving the now-reticent Ms Austin right back into the spotlight.
The Labour general election manifesto is officially launched today, as if it mattered. It will reportedly say that the party will block a second independence referendum if it’s in power at Westminster, which of course it won’t be.
And while Labour’s position on anything – particularly anything involving Scotland – is a complete irrelevance, it’s still quite fun to listen to them tying themselves in knots.
So with no further ado, ladies and gentlemen, we bring you Duncan Hothersall.
Something really quite strange happened yesterday. The Prime Minister of the United Kingdom was caught red-handed in the act of telling a bare-faced, unarguable lie in the middle of a general election campaign, and nobody cared.
Reacting to the Crown Prosecution Service decision not to prosecute dozens of Tory MPs who’d broken the law in getting elected in 2015, the PM offered up a quote, which was reported in most of the newspapers:
Nice wee bit of snark on “all the major parties, and the Scottish nationalists” there. But there’s a slight problem with the statement, which is that it’s an absolute lie.
Hatey McHateface on Binfire Of The Vanities: “Elkins, eh, Alf? Another name to conjure with. No doubt already familiar to thon loon who churns out the LOTR…” May 5, 11:40
Northcode on Binfire Of The Vanities: “Fuck off, Sven you’re a Scotti prick and joyless cunt. I’m a Christian and Scotland is a Christian country what…” May 5, 11:39
Sven on Binfire Of The Vanities: “James Che @ 10.19. Although not, perhaps, quite so amusing to a Christian, James. I await with interest Northy’s spoof…” May 5, 11:13
Northcode on Binfire Of The Vanities: “The election on Thursday is a pantomime in which I don’t usually participate having accepted a long time ago that…” May 5, 11:12
Geri on Binfire Of The Vanities: “Actually, we do care. SNP may find themselves out of office because of it. They’ve spent the last five years…” May 5, 11:11
Alf Baird on Binfire Of The Vanities: “Yes, at least two of our brave liberators standing for the Alliance to Liberate Scotland Party have been persecuted and…” May 5, 11:11
James Che on Binfire Of The Vanities: “The Anglo – Irish parliaments ( westminster ) legislation for a pretend devolved Scottish parliament for the first time in…” May 5, 10:10
Hatey McHateface on Binfire Of The Vanities: ““I had a dream last night” We can but idly speculate on just how much better your post could have…” May 5, 10:04
Captain Caveman on Binfire Of The Vanities: “@BroughtyBoy Don’t worry about YL, he’s just having one of his daily (nightly) meltdowns at the prospect of someone disagreeing…” May 5, 09:52
Northcode on Binfire Of The Vanities: “I had a dream last night. And in my dream God came to me and without sound said unto me…” May 5, 09:46
Captain Caveman on Binfire Of The Vanities: “I agree Stu, you’re right, they are. (Nothing “notional” left about the SNP in my view though, as evidenced through…” May 5, 09:45
Andy Wiltshire on Binfire Of The Vanities: “How much of a thing will tactical voting be? In particular anti-Reform, anti-SNP, and maybe anti-Green.” May 5, 09:29
James Che on Binfire Of The Vanities: “Party before Country and people has to be made void, And the vote sharing system has to end, because this…” May 5, 09:21
Scot Finlayson on Binfire Of The Vanities: “Sweden has just approved that to obtain citizenship, the following must be required: – 8 years of residence – Stable…” May 5, 09:12
James Che on Binfire Of The Vanities: “The problem between voting for Colonial parties and colonial parties including the SNP, is that Scotland will continue to be…” May 5, 08:38
Hatey McHateface on Binfire Of The Vanities: “Of course, Confused, it’s always possible that while you are sitting up late on what to many Scots is a…” May 5, 08:13
Hatey McHateface on Seven Days Too Long: ““Get yersel prepared for separation cause it’s coming right at yea” Thursday, Geri, is that when? Should I say “bye…” May 5, 08:02
Hatey McHateface on Binfire Of The Vanities: “@Alf Are you telling us that with under a week to go to the election, Fanon and Memmi have run…” May 5, 07:52
Hatey McHateface on Binfire Of The Vanities: “Civil disobedience, eh, YL? Is that a promise, or just a solemn vow?” May 5, 07:41
Hatey McHateface on Binfire Of The Vanities: “Fa’s Northy? Looks like he’s decamped tae Unherd: https://unherd.com/2026/05/north-wests-stolen-childhood/” May 5, 07:39
Bilbo on Binfire Of The Vanities: “George Ferguson says: 4 May, 2026 at 10:19 pm I am well past the stage of voting for Alliance Scotland.…” May 5, 07:36
twathater on Binfire Of The Vanities: “@ Confused, there was also the case of the highly respected (hahaha) QC who it is alleged was involved in…” May 5, 03:03
twathater on Binfire Of The Vanities: “@ YL , Cynicus , George Ferguson, I cannot understand the logic of voting for parties who have proven inumerable…” May 5, 02:53
Young Lochinvar on Binfire Of The Vanities: “C @ 12.29 Not voting SNP? Fine. Tactically voting for Unionists? Enjoy drinking the fruits of your self inflicted damnation..” May 5, 01:19
Geri on Seven Days Too Long: “AI Dan is getting desperate clutching at straws now. He obviously didn’t bother to read Dan’s link where Stu gives…” May 5, 00:37
Young Lochinvar on Binfire Of The Vanities: “I So you are apparently quite happy for us to be sh8gged by one lot but not the other? Kind…” May 5, 00:36
Cynicus on Binfire Of The Vanities: “George Ferguson says: 4 May, 2026 at 8:04 pm “I don’t see a vote against the SNP as a right…” May 5, 00:29
Young Lochinvar on Binfire Of The Vanities: “A Civil disobedience I’m afraid is the only answer when the democratic process is so obviously blocked. Whether people have…” May 5, 00:17
Cynicus on Binfire Of The Vanities: “Hold your nose and LEND your vote to the party most likely to beat the SNP. #No Votes SNP” May 5, 00:13