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High on the groundhog 144

Posted on June 01, 2023 by

This is a wretchedly boring time to be writing about politics for a living, readers. Parliamentarians in Edinburgh and London haven’t technically checked out for the summer yet – Holyrood still has a month to go before taking two months off, while Westminster is currently having a couple of weeks off for “Whitsun”, whatever the hell that is, before coming back for a month and a half then sodding off until September.

But really they’re already at the “bringing board games in” stage of term, and both the elected chambers and the media already have their eyes on the beach, which probably explains why we’re being punted drivel like this.

Even if we must afford the graphics team some grudging kudos for the unicoo.

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The Appearance Of Propriety 418

Posted on May 29, 2023 by

Wait, has Nicola Sturgeon died? We didn’t see anything on the news.

Because there are only a limited number of possible reasonable explanations for why police wanting to find out what Nicola Sturgeon knew about something would ask people who aren’t Nicola Sturgeon.

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The conscious uncoupling 116

Posted on May 27, 2023 by

The Battered Can 121

Posted on May 26, 2023 by

When I was a boy at Balbardie Primary School in Bathgate in the mid-70s, football was banned in the playground. Of course we were all fitba-daft laddies, so we sought ways around the prohibition. Occasionally someone would bring in a tennis ball, but those were difficult to control in school shoes and also apt to fly over the wall of the outdoor toilet block if somebody caught one sweetly on the volley.

So most playtimes somebody would produce a tin of Pepsi or Irn-Bru or Cresta, chug the contents, stand the empty container on its end and stomp sharply on it, producing something more akin to an ice-hockey puck that would serve for our kickabout.

But even after being skelped and scudded around a concrete playground into stone walls for 20 minutes, that can was still in better shape at the end of our game than the one the SNP have been kicking down the road since 2016.

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Dirty Rotten Scoundrels 458

Posted on May 21, 2023 by

If you’re still falling for this idiot-fodder after seven years, give yourself a shake.

Because for the love of Christ, an orangutan would have twigged by now. And we’re not talking about the long-suffering fans of Dundee United.

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In your face 82

Posted on May 20, 2023 by

The SNP now seem to be involved in some sort of competition where they dare each other to come up with the most blatant insult to their own members and/or the wider independence movement and see just how much they can get people to put up with.

First up was this drivel:

Humza Yousaf is leader of the SNP, a political party whose defining purpose – arguably its SOLE real purpose – is the pursuit of Scottish independence, but his “vision for Scotland” didn’t include a single mention of it.

Instead, Yousaf intends to spend the next three years on “equality”, “opportunity” and “community”, three meaningless buzzwords which every political party on Earth would claim to be in favour of. He might as well have identified his key values as kittens, lollipops and hugs.

But it gets worse.

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The Small Good Hamster 106

Posted on May 20, 2023 by

Full ahead backwards 200

Posted on May 19, 2023 by

Just slightly under four weeks ago, this site told you It seems very much as though the strategy has reverted to ‘Beg the UK government for a Section 30, and when they refuse, wait a while then beg them again'”.

Once again, we’re dismayed to report that we called it right. Because last night SNP MSP Mairi McAllan, officially representing the party on Question Time, told a weary audience in Fort William that that was precisely the case.

And readers, if ever a policy has been tested in battle and found wanting, it’s that one.

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Someone tell us the rules 135

Posted on May 18, 2023 by

As we told you on Tuesday, this happened today:

And we just can’t tell how it works any more.

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The King Of Wishful Thinking 150

Posted on May 17, 2023 by

We had to check this wasn’t Photoshopped.

It isn’t.

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Running interference 64

Posted on May 17, 2023 by

Alert readers will have noticed some interesting stories recently.

The Scottish Sun’s scoop on Monday evening – a few hours after we tweeted information from a very well-informed source about the Crown Office’s continued attempts to obstruct Police Scotland’s investigation into the SNP’s finances – would have come as no great surprise to Wings readers already familiar with the way the unaccountable, unanswerable body operates.

But we’ve subsequently noticed a number of attempts by various people to muddy the story by talking about a “draft” warrant request, implying that there was no improper delay. So we checked up, and thought you might like to know how the process works.

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Battle Of The Rejects 151

Posted on May 16, 2023 by

This is where Scottish politics is now.

And it’s a properly grim state of affairs, readers.

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