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Too Tight To Mention 404

Posted on July 02, 2025 by

So this snuck out quietly at the bottom of page 2 of today’s Daily Record.

And like, we suspect, most of Scotland, our response was “WHAT?”

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And it’s goodnight from he/him 33

Posted on June 26, 2025 by

And now for tonight’s headlines.

Police Scotland have nevertheless denied that prisoners in their custody are being excessively pampered, following reports that a man was hustled out of St Leonard’s station in Edinburgh with an electric blanket over his head.

Meanwhile, following the Supreme Court ruling in the For Women Scotland case, the force’s HQ at Tulliallan was burgled by a gang of militant transactivists who stole all the toilets. Officers say they have nothing to go on.

More comedy news as we get it, folks.

Holiday Relief 366

Posted on June 17, 2025 by

We’re thinking of just handing over Wings to Grok for the summer so we can spend all our time feeding the swans, readers. Here’s what the Twitter artificial intelligence bot said when we asked it to assess today’s National front page.

Sounds about right to us. We’re off for a walk.

Let’s Not Make Some Plans 240

Posted on June 13, 2025 by

At first, this merely sounds like the worst day out ever.

But for supporters of independence, in fact it’s even grimmer than that.

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Why genocide is brilliant 84

Posted on June 04, 2025 by

Wait, not genocide. Biscuits. We’re thinking of biscuits. Sorry about that.

As you were, everyone. Mmm, biscuits.

Here And There 12

Posted on June 02, 2025 by

This is what Labour say in Scotland:

And this is what they say elsewhere, when they think nobody in Scotland is looking:

One day someone’s going to tell them about the internet, and our life’s going to get a lot more difficult. Until that day, though, let’s just enjoy the laughs.

What Are We, And Where Are We Going? 211

Posted on May 26, 2025 by

Don Paterson is a celebrated Scottish poet, writer and musician. The essay below comes from a new anthology of Scottish writers called Irish Pages: Scotland, and is reproduced with his permission. 

Remember The Vow? Most of us have tried to forget it. This was Westminster’s Hail Mary as polling day approached in the 2014 referendum; a vote that Yessers – people tend to forget this part too – initially had no real expectation of winning, until an inspirationally positive campaign saw the polls draw neck-and-neck.

Then lo! There it was, splashed across the Daily Record: a fancy-font promise from Westminster party leaders that if Scotland voted to stay within the UK, we would enjoy new devolved powers. There was some other waffle about defence and opportunities and having an equal share in the UK’s prosperity. But the message was clear enough. We would be listened to.

Aye, right.

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Just a couple more shots 55

Posted on May 20, 2025 by

We’re getting there, folks.

Keep pushing.

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Well, this is a little embarrassing 81

Posted on May 17, 2025 by

Not for us, admittedly.


(Kelly’s article is here. Link to Grok’s answer here. The ChatGPT analysis that triggered the article can be read in this tweet thread. A verifiable analysis by Grok of the debate, based on a neutral question, can be read here.)

Barbie Stories 36

Posted on May 16, 2025 by

So this is where the SNP are at now.

The legal imprint at the bottom means that that’s official SNP election communication. One assumes it’s intended for leaflets to be put through actual voters’ letterboxes.

We’re almost lost for words.

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Some Attention For James 69

Posted on May 15, 2025 by

Hi! I noticed, with very considerable amusement, your complaint last night that I hadn’t made a “substantive reply” to the [EDIT] EIGHT posts (totalling nearly 11,000 words) of semi-coherent ranting about me that you’ve made on your site in the last eight days.

(I’ll be absolutely honest, I’ve only skimmed the last few.)

We both know the reason that’s so tear-streamingly comical, of course.

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The Last Thing They’ll Expect 57

Posted on May 08, 2025 by

The deranged stalker who’s now posted 72 blogposts totalling 62,500 words attacking Wings in the last few years had another go last night, over this.

And as a rule we don’t bother addressing them because they’re so demented you could spend 5,000 words pulling apart all the individual strands of lunacy every time, and lunatics thrive on attention, but this one does merit a very brief comment.

Because “Vote Labour, get indy” wasn’t our plan. It was John Swinney’s.

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    • James Cheyne on Too Tight To Mention: “Stu, It is true in what you point out, a fact that a colonised people will have no voice, will…Jul 9, 11:22
    • James Cheyne on Too Tight To Mention: “For the 1707 (political) parliamentary union between Scotland and England to exist there has to be two parliaments resting within…Jul 9, 11:06
    • James Cheyne on Too Tight To Mention: “The treaty of union was a political parliamentary union between Scotland and England only, Then England dissolved that union. In…Jul 9, 10:48
    • Captain Caveman on Too Tight To Mention: “@Dan Well, your OP talked about people being “given free land” so they could “help themselves”, which to me seemed…Jul 9, 10:40
    • Northcode on Too Tight To Mention: ““Actually our colonial rulers understandably don’t want to talk about the Liberation Scotland UN initiative…” Indeed, Alf. And for obvious…Jul 9, 10:13
    • Dan on Too Tight To Mention: “@Captain Caveman The subject was the high cost of land. Nothing I wrote infers knocking together buildings that don’t meet…Jul 9, 10:06
    • Captain Caveman on Too Tight To Mention: ““The current SNP administration could chose tomorrow to do away with freebies like the baby boxes or luvvie perks like…Jul 9, 09:54
    • sam on Too Tight To Mention: “From “The National” quoting MSP Allan Dorans “In 2017, the same researchers again, looking at nuclear reprocessing-related radiocarbons in Apex…Jul 9, 09:26
    • Aidan on Too Tight To Mention: “I know! Those bastard English stealing the wind. I was up in Mallaig a few weeks ago and it was…Jul 9, 09:24
    • Aidan on Too Tight To Mention: “@Dan – I assume because I criticise the insane and deluded rantings of our most eccentric posters that makes me…Jul 9, 09:13
    • Aidan on Too Tight To Mention: ““Appear to have issued a D notice” ???? You really are off the reservation today aren’t you. Do you think…Jul 9, 09:09
    • Captain Caveman on Too Tight To Mention: “@Dan It seems to me you like to portray yourself as some “hard-headed pragmatic” type of guy here, yet your…Jul 9, 09:07
    • Anthem on Too Tight To Mention: “Yup, it’s been on the cards for a few years now.Jul 9, 09:06
    • TURABDIN on Too Tight To Mention: “ENGLAND AND FRANCE PLAY FOOTSIE and Kate’s got a new frock and hairdo…. Meanwhile in the adult big world. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/resources/idt-66cdf862-5e96-4e6e-90b8-a407b597c8d9…Jul 9, 09:00
    • sam on Too Tight To Mention: “Water. Currents. Sellafield.Jul 9, 08:56
    • diabloandco on Too Tight To Mention: “Water, wind power and whisky revenue nicked by the neighbours!Jul 9, 08:54
    • sam on Too Tight To Mention: “Oligarchs fall oot. Must have run oot of tea and windaes.Jul 9, 08:33
    • Dan on Too Tight To Mention: “@Hatey at 4:44pm Fuck off with yer drivel spoken like a true toony. Where the fuck do you think a…Jul 9, 08:22
    • socratesmacsporran on Too Tight To Mention: “Given the current occupants of the comfy seats in Holyrood manage to make The Donald and his gang appear intelligent…Jul 9, 08:19
    • Dan on Too Tight To Mention: “@Aidan at 9:39pm But hud oan, your “Better Together” unionist London Rule chums have for as long as I have…Jul 9, 07:43
    • Aidan on Too Tight To Mention: “Exactly Hatey – these “friends” aren’t going to be the ambassadors of Denmark or Singapore. It’s going to be rogue…Jul 9, 05:56
    • Hatey McHateface on Too Tight To Mention: “It’s a hot night, and a sad, insomniac old man’s thoughts turn to self pleasuring. Keep the noise doon, YL…Jul 9, 03:11
    • Hatey McHateface on Too Tight To Mention: “Thanks for the link, NC. I enjoyed reading the article. “Our friends in Orcland”. The boys who wrote that are…Jul 9, 03:01
    • Young Lochinvar on Too Tight To Mention: “Penisbreath It’s the Panama Canal, not the Suez Canal ya mong. Try asking for help from some of your Langley…Jul 9, 02:36
    • twathater on Too Tight To Mention: “Absolutely James he jist canny wait tae rubbish and decry genuine efforts for freedom, yet when asked how his big…Jul 9, 01:48
    • Hatey McHateface on Too Tight To Mention: “Zat so, YL Sah! Then I was right. You couldn’t find Darien on a map without help. I recommend you…Jul 9, 01:11
    • Hatey McHateface on Too Tight To Mention: ““Something inspired me” Ah, c’moan noo NC. It’s mean of you to deny Buckfast an honourable mention.Jul 9, 00:57
    • Hatey McHateface on Too Tight To Mention: “Awa and not shite, Andrew R. Shout from the rooftops that you, and by extension Indy, support the kinds of…Jul 9, 00:52
    • Hatey McHateface on Too Tight To Mention: “Nae eulogies fer Starovoit yet? How insensitive of me. The usual suspects will need time to process their grief.Jul 9, 00:46
    • AndrewR on Too Tight To Mention: “More – if she committed any real crime she should have been prosecuted in an English court. It’s pure racism…Jul 9, 00:00
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