In a post last month we referenced a ZX Spectrum computer game from 1984 called “Worse Things Happen At Sea”. Today as we watched the First Minister on the Andrew Marr Show, we were put in mind of another nautical-disaster-themed one from a great deal nearer to the end of the Speccy’s life.
Newspaper sales figures in Scotland now come out in a patchy and unco-ordinated sort of way, with different frequencies and at different times of year, so we thought it’d be worth collecting them together for easy reference.
The numbers below are the most recent figures for each title that we know of – for papers classed as “national” that means November last year, and for those counted as “regional” (which includes the Scotsman and Herald titles) it’s this month.
Figures have all been rounded to the nearest 100, and increase/decrease stats refer in all cases to the corresponding sales for one year previously.
It’s been a fair few months since we last documented the Daily Record’s increasingly panicky attempts to save its own hide over its infamous eve-of-referendum “Vow”.
In its growing desperation, the paper bizarrely turns today to First Minister Nicola Sturgeon, demanding that SHE should be the one to fulfil a promise that the Record made specifically in order to thwart Sturgeon’s lifelong goal of independence.
There’s an extraordinary article in the Daily Record today. Here’s a bit of it:
Alert readers might feel that a few lines have gone missing somewhere between paragraphs four and five. And the fact that they have has nothing to do with dead football clubs, and everything to do with the dying Scottish media.
We don’t follow many Unionists on social media, because you end up wasting your day arguing pointlessly with a lot of people who are never going to change their minds and getting in a bad mood. But we’re told they were all very excited about an article in yesterday’s Daily Record.
Penned by the paper’s political editor Davie Clegg, it’s a long diatribe about how the fall in oil revenues has created a black hole which now means Scotland is – stand by for a surprise! – too wee and too poor to be independent.
So far so meh – it’s not like it’s the first time we’ve heard that record played, after all. But as you can see from the image above, there’s also quite an interesting challenge printed in giant capitals at the foot of the page. We’re not in the Scottish Government, but it’s a rainy Saturday so we thought we might have a go.
The newspaper is a fantastic concept. A cheap, accessible product, it’s a brilliant way of keeping yourself broadly abreast of current affairs. You turn a page and are presented with a diverse selection of interesting stories, often on subjects you’d never have thought to go and seek out in the self-refining echo chamber of the internet.
(Theoretically links on websites serve the same purpose, but dodging “sponsored” advertorial, gutter-level clickbait, pop-ups, autoplay video and pages that judder and leap around so much while loading all this rubbish that you’re about 50/50 to have an epileptic fit before you can read the story, has made clicking on one into a game of Russian Roulette fewer and fewer people are willing to take a chance on.)
This site has never believed that the ongoing steep decline in newspaper sales is a fundamental problem with the format. Rather, the truth is that people stop buying papers because they’re full of garbage.
All five of the opinion pollsters who regularly poll on Scottish politics (Panelbase, YouGov, TNS, Ipsos Mori and Survation) have now published surveys in the past two weeks asking the independence question. So it seems reasonable to expect there’ll be no more polls before the anniversary of the referendum on Friday.
Given the conventional wisdom that the economy, underpinned by that pesky volatile oil, was the main reason not enough Scots could be persuaded to take the leap into self-government, readers might expect that the dramatic collapse in the oil price since last year (when we checked today it was trading at just over $47 a barrel, less than half the $97 it was at the start of September 2014) would only have cemented voters’ feeling that they made the right decision.
You might not think it, readers, but even after all this time we’re still capable of a certain degree of innocent, naive trust in Scottish journalism.
When Nicola Sturgeon didn’t just issue a boilerplate condemnation at FMQs yesterday after ludicrously overblown allegations of Twitter “trolling” by an SNP candidate, but went on the counter-attack over Labour’s grotesquely abusive Ian Smart, we foolishly thought that might make both sides of the story newsworthy.
And then we opened the papers.
We don’t expect the media to be impartial. But let there today officially be an end to even the slightest pretence that it’s at least fair, professional and honest.
diabloandco on A short treatise on stalking: “Yep, he was once my go to for statistics and polling – not now.” Jan 22, 07:58
Hatey McHateface on The Great Hollowing: “Andrew Liddle writing in Unherd on the possibility of an SNP-Labour governing coalition in HR after the 2026 election: “the…” Jan 22, 07:52
Hatey McHateface on The Great Hollowing: “A back-room group will already be working on the most acceptable way to combine the “Will For Independence” process with…” Jan 22, 07:41
Hatey McHateface on A short treatise on stalking: “Here’s another one: On Wings BTL, it is widely assumed that gregor is the sole reader of his own posts.” Jan 22, 07:07
Jeannie McCrimmon on A short treatise on stalking: “Sit doon Mr Kelly is a personal Holyrood favourite.” Jan 22, 04:57
Young Lochinvar on The Great Hollowing: “Ah well, who knows, give him a break. As we used to joke asking the local Germans back in the…” Jan 22, 01:59
Skip_NC on A short treatise on stalking: “In this context, “tortured sole” is correct. James Kelly is like a fish out of water.” Jan 22, 01:50
Young Lochinvar on The Great Hollowing: “Still waiting for a meaningful factual reply yoon (or is it scum!). Heck I don’t know but you sound well…” Jan 22, 01:45
Skip_NC on A short treatise on stalking: “Alba is doing something. It’s just that the media don’t talk about it.” Jan 22, 01:43
gregor on The Great Hollowing: “BBC (2025): Gray apologises over football match meetings: “Health Secretary Neil Gray has apologised for “inadvertently” misleading MSPs over the…” Jan 22, 01:37
gregor on A short treatise on stalking: “Olde Throne: Greyfriars Kirkyard: “Oh, Greyfriars Where the Covenanters lay Ceased by the black judge Cut down by his hand…” Jan 22, 00:55
gregor on The Great Hollowing: “Funnily enough – same could be said for J.K. Rowling (et al)… https://x.com/elonmusk/status/1881728397598175645” Jan 22, 00:06
Confused on The same old tricks: “another classic from the archive” Jan 21, 23:50
gregor on A short treatise on stalking: “If you insist, McFetish… “The sole of your foot or of a shoe or sock is the underneath surface of…” Jan 21, 23:50
Confused on A short treatise on stalking: “main cavorts with satan and a black cat under moonlight in greyfriars a heretic by any measure” Jan 21, 23:42
yoon scum on A short treatise on stalking: “One thing that has always un-settled me about a very large part of the YES movement is the rage that…” Jan 21, 23:33
yoon scum on A short treatise on stalking: “Don’t forget not one single YOON has ever had a job a “fact” I have been told by a good…” Jan 21, 23:20
gregor on The Great Hollowing: “The Fraud (2025): How will bequests have helped the SNP’s finances by millions: “The SNP have received millions in will…” Jan 21, 23:10
Hatey McHateface on The same old tricks: “Your remedy is obvious, Confused. Scorn the accumulation of all stuff. Then you can enjoy the last laugh. BTW, if…” Jan 21, 23:07
Hatey McHateface on A short treatise on stalking: “It’s a complex subject and there are lots of nuances that could be discussed, on a forum that had the…” Jan 21, 23:01
Martin on A short treatise on stalking: “The two Davies will think his return to the SNP is big big news and will welcome him into team…” Jan 21, 22:46
Confused on The same old tricks: “this is the enemy he wants to steal your stuff expects you to be grateful about it fart in your…” Jan 21, 22:45
Confused on The same old tricks: “This is why the UN needs to be involved; they know all the tricks and won’t stand for them. If…” Jan 21, 22:44
sarah on A short treatise on stalking: “There’s more than one way to skin a cat. As someone who dislikes living the lie of a Union which…” Jan 21, 22:38
Hatey McHateface on A short treatise on stalking: ““hee haw else to write about” On the sites I read, they’re publicising that President Trump has announced to the…” Jan 21, 22:35
Northman on A short treatise on stalking: “I assume that is partly because sensible posts don’t rile people up. People nod their heads and read on. We…” Jan 21, 22:34
Scot Finlayson on A short treatise on stalking: “The 2022 census found that of the 514,543 people residing in Edinburgh, 47.9% identified with a Scottish identity.” Jan 21, 22:32
Insider on A short treatise on stalking: ““Salvo, as the campaigning group for Liberation.scot, have formed a Scottish People’s Liberation Movement”. ? Is this a Monty Python…” Jan 21, 22:31
yoon scum on A short treatise on stalking: “With the current lot in Holyrood An independent scotland would welcome anyone with open arms no matter how much they…” Jan 21, 22:26