Our first letter was answered/dismissed by “Service Adviser 1989847”, so this reply to our second one, while it doesn’t say much, definitely feels like a step up.
Our KC has offered all possible assistance to the Cyber and Fraud Unit in relation to the matter, and we’ll keep you posted with any developments, readers.
We received two emails today, just a few minutes apart. There are a couple of notable things about them. The first came from Claire Somebody at the Crown Office.
The second one, even more thrillingly, came from Service Advisor 1989847 at Police Scotland, which we assume is some sort of advanced crime-fighting robot.
In one of those emails, readers, is a three-word phrase that raised our eyebrows just about right off our heads. Before we chat any more, see if it jumps out at you too.
Crown Office and Procurator Fiscal Service
25 Chambers Street
Edinburgh
EH1 1LA
4 June 2026
.
Dear Chief Constable and Crown Office,
RE: REQUEST FOR CRIMINAL INVESTIGATION — ALLEGED
MISAPPROPRIATION OF RING-FENCED POLITICAL DONATIONS
I write to request that Police Scotland/COPFS open a criminal investigation into the alleged misappropriation of funds donated to the Scottish National Party (SNP) on the basis that those funds would be held and applied for a specific, designated purpose.
If you subscribe to the theory that it’s better to fight 100 duck-sized horses than a single horse-sized duck, the SNP is knocking it out of the park today.
Because the papers just can’t make their minds up about the biggest story with which to attack John Swinney’s beleaguered party.
You’ve had a few pretty gruelling pieces to get through in the last week or so, readers, so here’s something a little more light-hearted.
It’s from an episode of Broadcasting Scotland on 27 November 2020, a month after we confirmed our big story about the SNP accounts and the missing fundraiser money. In it, snug-toed SNP MP Pete Wishart opines that there really is nothing to worry about, and we should all just put our trust in the party.
We’ll leave you to judge whose opinion stood the test of time.
sam on Response Level Upgrade: “Pygmies, literally and figuratively, fail to recognise words of the inaugural speech of Jimmy Reid as Rector of Glasgow University.” Jun 16, 21:29
Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: “MSM reporting that two petitions calling for FIFA to review the refereeing of the Scotland-Haiti match have now reached 155,000…” Jun 16, 21:21
Mark Beggan on Response Level Upgrade: “A Leftist is someone who wants the immigrant and all his mates to come to their country so they can…” Jun 16, 20:41
Mark Beggan on Response Level Upgrade: “A patriot is someone who wants the immigrant to go back to their own country ASAP by the fastest route.” Jun 16, 20:32
Aidan on Response Level Upgrade: “And of course using that definition Alf, every region and county within the U.K. would similarly be a colony, lacking…” Jun 16, 20:31
Southernbystander on Response Level Upgrade: “I know James, and I am, after all, just a ‘wanker’, though I draw the line at ‘effete arsehole’ as…” Jun 16, 20:28
Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: “An immigrant is somebody who hates their adopted country. Discuss.” Jun 16, 20:10
Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: ““distributes funds necessary to keep […] much of the native proletariat on side, being ‘the most favoured section of the…” Jun 16, 20:07
Alf Baird on Response Level Upgrade: ““the book” This may be the correct term given that I assume you are referring to the only research-based book…” Jun 16, 20:05
Mark Beggan on Response Level Upgrade: “‘A patriot is someone who loves their country. A nationalist is someone who hates everybody else’s country’” Jun 16, 19:59
Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: “Can I just say, Marie, that in the Land Of The Stupid Comments, the writer of the Most Stupid Comment…” Jun 16, 19:58
Alf Baird on Response Level Upgrade: ““Public life in Scotland is dominated by fake-nats, bourgeois leftists, anglos, and every variety of grifter and opportunist” Excellent synopsis,…” Jun 16, 18:22
Mark Beggan on Response Level Upgrade: ““Only have to look at the manner in which opposite sides on political debates dehumanize each other for daring to…” Jun 16, 17:48
Mark Beggan on Response Level Upgrade: “Well done American Homeland Security. I wouldn’t let a baldy grifter who doesn’t know the difference between a man and…” Jun 16, 16:18
Aidan on Response Level Upgrade: “Do you honestly think the British state would pay three people to entertain an irrelevant idiot like you James? If…” Jun 16, 16:18
Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: “Havers, sam. It’s all the fault of colonialism.” Jun 16, 16:08
Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: ““hundreds of Scotland fans who had previously been granted an ESTA had had their travel permits withdrawn at the last…” Jun 16, 15:56
Spartan 117 on Response Level Upgrade: “Interesting quotes with much food for thought. Only have to look at the manner in which opposite sides on political…” Jun 16, 15:48
Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: “It might be a very subtle witticism, Northy. Chas might be hinting at how the reflection in the mirror connects…” Jun 16, 15:47
sam on Response Level Upgrade: ““It is easy and tempting to hate such people. However it is wrong. They are as much products of society…” Jun 16, 15:47
Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: “Obvs not you, Wally. If we’re gonna include you when writing about “we”, we need to add a second letter…” Jun 16, 15:42
Spartan 117 on Response Level Upgrade: “Having colleagues who semi-regularly travel to the States and have ran into problems since the Trump 2.0 regime rose to…” Jun 16, 15:42
Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: ““an enthusiast for the agricultural policies that paid farmers for not bringing their fields under cultivation” “have you not met…” Jun 16, 15:39
Northcode on Response Level Upgrade: ““I assume that you would include the esteemed professor…” Do you believe you are correct in your assumption? Are you…” Jun 16, 15:27
sam on Response Level Upgrade: ““…Society and its prevailing sense of values leads to another form of alienation. It alienates some from humanity. It partially…” Jun 16, 15:26