As all alert readers will know, this site likes to keep a watchful eye on the shady and disturbing activities of paedophilia-plagued charity LGBT Youth Scotland. So we were naturally intrigued to hear that they’d hired a new convenor last month.
And if you’re sitting there thinking, “Blimey, AI Christopher Walken looks very very ill”, well, stay tuned, because this story gets more and more interesting.
Alert readers will have noticed something of a minor furore in recent days around a boneheaded Scottish Greens candidate (as if there were any other kind) calling for the complete abolition of prisons.
So far Kate Nevens – who on the latest polling has a very reasonable chance of being elected on the list – has resisted calls to step down, which is probably for the best as, incredibly, her replacement would be even worse.
With the implosion of Your Party concentrating the nutter vote firmly in Green hands, the next term of the Scottish Parliament is set to feature the worst array of MSPs in Holyrood’s history, with almost everyone in the SNP with any sort of ability or experience resigning to be replaced by hyper-obedient young party drones, while the opposition are mostly putting forward the same old faces who’ve been such utter failures for the last 20 years.
It’s a grim prospect, but we do have a solution to propose.
Because the truth is that we should all be quietly sending BBC Scotland bouquets in appreciation for doing the independence movement a favour for once.
We think the lads at The Scotsman might have gotten a bit confused and/or carried away when it came to putting the clocks forward at the weekend. At 6am on Sunday morning they tweeted this:
But the link was a 404. We checked the print edition of Scotland On Sunday but there was nothing there either. Finally, though, the article has shown up in today’s paper and on the website, and to be honest with you, readers, we still think it must be some sort of mistake, because it’s two days early for April 1st.
The turnout at the “independence march and rally” yesterday was so abysmally poor that it seems almost unfair to pick on any of the scores of SNP elected representatives who didn’t bother to show up.
But dear old Cosy Feet Pete Wishart had the most chef’s-kiss excuse of all.
The reason he didn’t fancy getting his wee Billy Whizz quiff blown about a chilly Calton Hill was that he had important business “taking on the far right” – who were of course nowhere to be seen – with “half a million” (50,000) of his British besties, a convenient short Tube ride away from his London residence, at a pretty openly anti-Semitic protest called, with a double layer of delicious comedic value… UK Together.
If events in Edinburgh today are anything to go by – when a march and rally announced with great fanfare seven months ago, backed by both the “independence” parties in the Scottish Parliament and featuring the First Minister as main speaker, attracted perhaps 1,500 people at the most to Calton Hill on a bright and sunny day – the independence movement faces an imminent final apocalypse.
So here’s how to prepare yourself for when the SNP win a landslide with 35%, Keir Starmer says “So what?” and then a deathly silence descends for another five years.
Even Kelly Given and Iona Fyfe didn’t show up for this one. That’s how bad it is.
The last faint hope of any remotely positive or at least interesting outcome of May’s election just left the building.
It wasn’t MUCH of a hope, and it’s absolutely no surprise in the wake of the comically shambolic, belief-defyingly inept farce that has been the birth of Jeremy Corbyn and Zarah Sultana’s fringe-of-the fringe party, but all the same its extinguishing means the next two months will be even more of a waste of time than they looked like being.
Frankly, readers, we may as well not bother having an election at all.
The number of parties who got MSPs elected at the last election is… five. (Though in fairness there are now six, Reform having a single MSP after Graham Simpson defected from the Tories. The Lib Dems are even outnumbered by independents, of whom there are seven.)
So Cathy Newman of Channel 4 News got herself a scoop last night.
And to be honest, readers, we were a bit confused. “Gender critical views” are not only lawful things to hold and express, they’re one of a small subset of opinions that are explicitly protected as such in law. And why would a man very occasionally airing some lawful and protected views on social media be a news story? You might as well run “BREAKING: Premiership footballer discovered to enjoy cheese-and-ham toasties”.
Which is handy, because today is also the day of the Gorton and Denton by-election in Manchester (fun fact: a seat we’d very likely have lived in ourselves if not for Osama bin Laden, but that’s another story), and that throws up some interesting parallels.
Geri on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “That Scottish government wouldn’t be in office & NATO would be put to a public vote. An independent Scotland should…” Apr 13, 19:53
Geri on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “No. That’s just paranoia & they should seek help. The West has indulged in this nonsense long enough. Especially when…” Apr 13, 19:39
Geri on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Delusional. NATO has done nothing of the sort. It’s only attracted & instigated trouble including the whole U war. It’s…” Apr 13, 19:32
Geri on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: ““There’s something about becoming Christ’s representative on Earth that tends to resolve any sibling rivalry.” LOL!” Apr 13, 19:11
James on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “That the same sensible Scottish government that says men can be women?” Apr 13, 19:04
Mark Beggan on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Old Jewish proverb; If your enemy wants to kill you get up early and kill him first.” Apr 13, 18:49
agentx on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: ““his manner of speech and the formulations of the words he uses – is literally incomprehensible.” ————————————– As are the…” Apr 13, 18:49
agentx on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: ““Defence With independence, this Scottish Government believes Scotland’s defence and security priorities would be based on three main areas: joining…” Apr 13, 18:37
Mark Beggan on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Baby Trump says, Baby Northy has Baby Trump Derangement Syndrome. I’ll have to send Petey over to put him Strait.…” Apr 13, 18:23
James on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Bilge. Protected from what? You charcters are delusional. Meanwhile our thieveing southern neighbours steal everything we own.” Apr 13, 18:17
agentx on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “As part of the United Kingdom Scotland has been protected by the NATO alliance (formed in 1949).” Apr 13, 17:47
Northcode on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Trump, of course, is no longer human – if he ever was – and this is why the majority of…” Apr 13, 17:40
Mark Beggan on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Scotland has been protected by America since 1946. A free ride that has come to an abrupt end.” Apr 13, 17:20
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Better link: www.youtube.com/watch?v=LykbTn_sS4o” Apr 13, 16:27
Alf Baird on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: ““These freaks have zero morals & have zero regard for human life.” Indeed so, and to those of us studying…” Apr 13, 16:15
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “‘HUNGARY AFTER ORBÁN: WHAT NEXT?’ Informed analysis from Professor Kim Lane Scheppele: youtu.be/LykbTn_sS4o?si=KH45kBQUuI_XS_mO” Apr 13, 16:06
Cynicus on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Young Lochinvar says: 13 April, 2026 at 2:24 pm “Gaun Leo Excommunicate Von Trumphausen!!” ========== How can even the Vicar…” Apr 13, 15:46
Geri on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “He isn’t Catholic. He’s protestant with a dodgy as fck personal wackadoo pastor that allegedly has an even worse background…” Apr 13, 15:28
Northcode on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “AI Dan – the artificial man – gets its electric arse kicked by Geri… yet again. Apparently, the most valuable…” Apr 13, 13:16
Geri on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Search “Economist’s EXPOSÉ of ‘Ending Poverty in 2020’ Leaves World STUNNED” ..for the full hearing in the European parliament if…” Apr 13, 12:47
Geri on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: ““COVID central” Was actually the West. There are current hearings going on right now. The Eppy class are experimenting on…” Apr 13, 12:09
Geri on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “They DON’T PRODUCE ENOUGH! Carry on reading that Google reply. California is a state. They import from Mexico & Canada.…” Apr 13, 11:45
Lorncal on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “H McH: don’t ever underestimate the human propensity to cut its own throat at the height of its ecstasy. Undermining…” Apr 13, 11:37
J Robertson on Not So Octopus: “Update to my earlier post of 9 April 5.34 PM regarding the lack of information on forthcoming election candidates on…” Apr 13, 11:34
Lorncal on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Well, H McH: Geri isn’t far wrong, is she? Apparently, scientists are experimenting on small mammals in the field of…” Apr 13, 11:28
Aidan on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Of course there is no truth in anything you’ve said there, it is lies and nonsense in its totality which…” Apr 13, 11:19
