As all alert readers will know, this site likes to keep a watchful eye on the shady and disturbing activities of paedophilia-plagued charity LGBT Youth Scotland. So we were naturally intrigued to hear that they’d hired a new convenor last month.
And if you’re sitting there thinking, “Blimey, AI Christopher Walken looks very very ill”, well, stay tuned, because this story gets more and more interesting.
Alert readers will have noticed something of a minor furore in recent days around a boneheaded Scottish Greens candidate (as if there were any other kind) calling for the complete abolition of prisons.
So far Kate Nevens – who on the latest polling has a very reasonable chance of being elected on the list – has resisted calls to step down, which is probably for the best as, incredibly, her replacement would be even worse.
With the implosion of Your Party concentrating the nutter vote firmly in Green hands, the next term of the Scottish Parliament is set to feature the worst array of MSPs in Holyrood’s history, with almost everyone in the SNP with any sort of ability or experience resigning to be replaced by hyper-obedient young party drones, while the opposition are mostly putting forward the same old faces who’ve been such utter failures for the last 20 years.
It’s a grim prospect, but we do have a solution to propose.
Because the truth is that we should all be quietly sending BBC Scotland bouquets in appreciation for doing the independence movement a favour for once.
We think the lads at The Scotsman might have gotten a bit confused and/or carried away when it came to putting the clocks forward at the weekend. At 6am on Sunday morning they tweeted this:
But the link was a 404. We checked the print edition of Scotland On Sunday but there was nothing there either. Finally, though, the article has shown up in today’s paper and on the website, and to be honest with you, readers, we still think it must be some sort of mistake, because it’s two days early for April 1st.
The turnout at the “independence march and rally” yesterday was so abysmally poor that it seems almost unfair to pick on any of the scores of SNP elected representatives who didn’t bother to show up.
But dear old Cosy Feet Pete Wishart had the most chef’s-kiss excuse of all.
The reason he didn’t fancy getting his wee Billy Whizz quiff blown about a chilly Calton Hill was that he had important business “taking on the far right” – who were of course nowhere to be seen – with “half a million” (50,000) of his British besties, a convenient short Tube ride away from his London residence, at a pretty openly anti-Semitic protest called, with a double layer of delicious comedic value… UK Together.
If events in Edinburgh today are anything to go by – when a march and rally announced with great fanfare seven months ago, backed by both the “independence” parties in the Scottish Parliament and featuring the First Minister as main speaker, attracted perhaps 1,500 people at the most to Calton Hill on a bright and sunny day – the independence movement faces an imminent final apocalypse.
So here’s how to prepare yourself for when the SNP win a landslide with 35%, Keir Starmer says “So what?” and then a deathly silence descends for another five years.
Even Kelly Given and Iona Fyfe didn’t show up for this one. That’s how bad it is.
The last faint hope of any remotely positive or at least interesting outcome of May’s election just left the building.
It wasn’t MUCH of a hope, and it’s absolutely no surprise in the wake of the comically shambolic, belief-defyingly inept farce that has been the birth of Jeremy Corbyn and Zarah Sultana’s fringe-of-the fringe party, but all the same its extinguishing means the next two months will be even more of a waste of time than they looked like being.
Frankly, readers, we may as well not bother having an election at all.
The number of parties who got MSPs elected at the last election is… five. (Though in fairness there are now six, Reform having a single MSP after Graham Simpson defected from the Tories. The Lib Dems are even outnumbered by independents, of whom there are seven.)
So Cathy Newman of Channel 4 News got herself a scoop last night.
And to be honest, readers, we were a bit confused. “Gender critical views” are not only lawful things to hold and express, they’re one of a small subset of opinions that are explicitly protected as such in law. And why would a man very occasionally airing some lawful and protected views on social media be a news story? You might as well run “BREAKING: Premiership footballer discovered to enjoy cheese-and-ham toasties”.
Which is handy, because today is also the day of the Gorton and Denton by-election in Manchester (fun fact: a seat we’d very likely have lived in ourselves if not for Osama bin Laden, but that’s another story), and that throws up some interesting parallels.
Alf Baird on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: ““the occupation of ALL of our top cultural, heritage, environmental, educational, etc. positions” Indeed, an Anglo cultural hegemony and hence…” Apr 12, 19:01
Lorncal on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “The thing is, Heaver, that we just do not know for certain (although we can guess) why this is happening.…” Apr 12, 17:08
Lorncal on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “The SNP has overseen a greater importation of people into our cultural and heritage, environmental and other nationally-important organizations than…” Apr 12, 16:48
Mark Beggan on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “‘We send warships’ Is that right Vice admiral Loch and Load.” Apr 12, 16:15
Young Lochinvar on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Breaking! Von Trumphausen is going to block the Strait of Hormuz!! Operation “Cutting your nose to spite your face”.. So…” Apr 12, 15:52
Alf Baird on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “A colonized people are ‘bystanders’in all regards, including when it comes to appointing a meritocratic elite from elsewhere to lead…” Apr 12, 15:16
Geri on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “*under. I dunno why the gremlins decided to change that to understandable.” Apr 12, 14:05
Geri on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Yes James. Scotland has zero control over immigration. That’s understandable the control of the UK government along with all the…” Apr 12, 13:58
Geri on Not So Octopus: ““You’re deluded enough to think that the opinion of one KC is somehow conclusive or some slam dunk argument that…” Apr 12, 12:49
James on Not So Octopus: “Warmongering unionist agent; “…I DO actually represent mainstream opinion…” Big LOLZ. Distract, divide, derail. Rinse & repeat.” Apr 12, 12:31
Cynicus on Not So Octopus: “Andy Ellis says: 12 April, 2026 at 9:58 am “@Geri passim Flag shaggers are all alike” ========== Isn’t the same…” Apr 12, 11:55
Cynicus on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Hats off to Rev. Stu and to “ No LGBT YS in Schools” The ludicrous title, “Rt Hon. Lord Barony…” Apr 12, 10:52
joe on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “is this Tim on a salaried position , if so who’s bank account is it going to .” Apr 12, 10:34
joe on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “is this Tim on a salaried position , if so who’s bank account is it going to .” Apr 12, 10:34
Andy Ellis on Not So Octopus: “@Geri passim You’re deluded enough to think that the opinion of one KC is somehow conclusive or some slam dunk…” Apr 12, 09:58
Bilbo on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “It reminds me of the current discussions on tech websites about the proposed change to add age verification checks on…” Apr 12, 09:31
Bilbo on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “O/T I see that immigration is going to be part of the debate in the forthcoming Holyrood elections: https://archive.is/D4QIZ This…” Apr 12, 09:22
Sven on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Bilbo @ 08.36. Possibly one with his own reasons to remain unidentified ? Or am I being overly sceptical in…” Apr 12, 09:17
Captain Caveman on Not So Octopus: “…. Jeezo. Maybe lay off the meths, Rambo.” Apr 12, 08:38
Bilbo on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “I’m sure it is Gen Z/Reddit thing to make AI generated images of yourself but what man would disguise their…” Apr 12, 08:36
Young Lochinvar on Not So Octopus: “Well Geri If Pastor Faggat was one of the founding fathers then he’s certainly developed a disturbing hate complex of…” Apr 12, 04:47
Geri on Not So Octopus: “He said he was one of the co-founders of Alba.” Apr 12, 02:15
Young Lochinvar on Not So Octopus: “Geri Pastor Faggat was rejected? Gaun! Spread the news! It’ll help ignoring/ putting in context Pastor Faggats sermons in future..” Apr 12, 01:24
