Our first letter was answered/dismissed by “Service Adviser 1989847”, so this reply to our second one, while it doesn’t say much, definitely feels like a step up.
Our KC has offered all possible assistance to the Cyber and Fraud Unit in relation to the matter, and we’ll keep you posted with any developments, readers.
We received two emails today, just a few minutes apart. There are a couple of notable things about them. The first came from Claire Somebody at the Crown Office.
The second one, even more thrillingly, came from Service Advisor 1989847 at Police Scotland, which we assume is some sort of advanced crime-fighting robot.
In one of those emails, readers, is a three-word phrase that raised our eyebrows just about right off our heads. Before we chat any more, see if it jumps out at you too.
Crown Office and Procurator Fiscal Service
25 Chambers Street
Edinburgh
EH1 1LA
4 June 2026
.
Dear Chief Constable and Crown Office,
RE: REQUEST FOR CRIMINAL INVESTIGATION — ALLEGED
MISAPPROPRIATION OF RING-FENCED POLITICAL DONATIONS
I write to request that Police Scotland/COPFS open a criminal investigation into the alleged misappropriation of funds donated to the Scottish National Party (SNP) on the basis that those funds would be held and applied for a specific, designated purpose.
If you subscribe to the theory that it’s better to fight 100 duck-sized horses than a single horse-sized duck, the SNP is knocking it out of the park today.
Because the papers just can’t make their minds up about the biggest story with which to attack John Swinney’s beleaguered party.
You’ve had a few pretty gruelling pieces to get through in the last week or so, readers, so here’s something a little more light-hearted.
It’s from an episode of Broadcasting Scotland on 27 November 2020, a month after we confirmed our big story about the SNP accounts and the missing fundraiser money. In it, snug-toed SNP MP Pete Wishart opines that there really is nothing to worry about, and we should all just put our trust in the party.
We’ll leave you to judge whose opinion stood the test of time.
James on Response Level Upgrade: “Apologies SP, list was one short, almost forgot; agentx Wouldn’t like to leave anyone out.” Jun 17, 21:44
Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: “I put a tenner on the Lesbians to score draw. Any thoughts on the Thespians? Worth a flutter?” Jun 17, 20:25
Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: “Wally Walrus wails! When I said we Scots used to be smarter, I excluded you to keep the average up.” Jun 17, 20:21
Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: “Are you sure you’re not in thrall to Bronze Age scribblings, Marie? You’re named after one of the people they…” Jun 17, 20:18
Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: “Wally Walrus witters! Thatcher, eh? Get them to crane you out your bedroom window and stretch you out on a…” Jun 17, 20:07
Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: “Ach, sam. Print your theories on sheets of A4 and take yourself off to Southport and other such ground zeroes.…” Jun 17, 19:57
James on Response Level Upgrade: “Site Prick; “the English have had to invest about ten times as much in the generation and distribution infrastructure as…” Jun 17, 19:53
Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: “Of course, in order to “steal” the leccy, the English have had to invest about ten times as much in…” Jun 17, 19:45
Young Lochinvar on Response Level Upgrade: “HMcH Well Hatey; Tell that to the pre existing incumbent resident Jebusites, Canaanites and Philistines! Not to mention Empires that…” Jun 17, 19:37
James on Response Level Upgrade: “I take it we have all seen the ‘UK’ ‘Google’ home page today? We don’t count. Vote Yoon. …..”come on,…” Jun 17, 19:30
Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: “How many millions of these people specifically came here in the sure and certain knowledge that our poverty is an…” Jun 17, 19:13
James on Response Level Upgrade: “Sam; Not so sure about ‘Unison’; they seem to be slavishly tied to the Yookay ‘Labour’ Party, and thus; pro…” Jun 17, 19:06
Mark Beggan on Response Level Upgrade: “Oh, say can you see, By the dawn’s early light, What so proudly we hailed At the twilight’s last gleaming,…” Jun 17, 18:56
Jay on Response Level Upgrade: “Aidan, ‘white collar crime’ is, doubtless, widespread, furthermore, much depends on who defines what is a crime.” Jun 17, 18:52
sam on Response Level Upgrade: “Yes. Scotland has a different demography. England has more young people. More healthy, excluding deaths of despair. Something else again.…” Jun 17, 18:42
James on Response Level Upgrade: ““The game is over for the inbred cretins.” Bad news for you then, eh “old boy”? LOL” Jun 17, 18:33
Mark Beggan on Response Level Upgrade: “Rubble land is the fake of fakes. Low IQ people think otherwise. The game is over for the inbred cretins.” Jun 17, 18:16
sam on Response Level Upgrade: “I think he has been on the leadership program offered by the USA to future leaders. See Wings “All the…” Jun 17, 17:36
agentx on Response Level Upgrade: “In Scotland, approximately 26% (or roughly one in four) of all deaths are considered avoidable, which is higher than the…” Jun 17, 17:16
MaryB on Response Level Upgrade: “Stephen Gethins interviewed yesterday by The National. When asked about a national energy company, like Norway, Robin McAlpine’s suggestion, he…” Jun 17, 14:07
sam on Response Level Upgrade: “In 2022 in England and Wales nearly 22% of deaths were avoidable in people under the age of 75 and…” Jun 17, 13:55
sam on Response Level Upgrade: ““just a cow in a field”. Around 14 million people today in the UK live in poverty. A political choice…” Jun 17, 13:05
Spartan 117 on Response Level Upgrade: “A good, if lengthy, post making very good points, aside from the brief wibble at the start of the last…” Jun 17, 12:38
Confused on Response Level Upgrade: “It has been said that future wars will be about water (the litani river, the nile, the tigris, the ganges);…” Jun 17, 12:31
Alf Baird on Response Level Upgrade: ““achieved peacefully and lawfully” ? That’s some brass neck there, considering London’s colonial track record.” Jun 17, 12:06
Marie on Response Level Upgrade: “I don’t base my attitudes to human rights on scribblings from the Bronze Age. You are wrong.” Jun 17, 11:23
Southernbystander on Response Level Upgrade: “Unfortunately the article is paywalled though I do have some knowledge of the situation in the banlieues. One can look…” Jun 17, 11:05