Our first letter was answered/dismissed by “Service Adviser 1989847”, so this reply to our second one, while it doesn’t say much, definitely feels like a step up.
Our KC has offered all possible assistance to the Cyber and Fraud Unit in relation to the matter, and we’ll keep you posted with any developments, readers.
We received two emails today, just a few minutes apart. There are a couple of notable things about them. The first came from Claire Somebody at the Crown Office.
The second one, even more thrillingly, came from Service Advisor 1989847 at Police Scotland, which we assume is some sort of advanced crime-fighting robot.
In one of those emails, readers, is a three-word phrase that raised our eyebrows just about right off our heads. Before we chat any more, see if it jumps out at you too.
Crown Office and Procurator Fiscal Service
25 Chambers Street
Edinburgh
EH1 1LA
4 June 2026
.
Dear Chief Constable and Crown Office,
RE: REQUEST FOR CRIMINAL INVESTIGATION — ALLEGED
MISAPPROPRIATION OF RING-FENCED POLITICAL DONATIONS
I write to request that Police Scotland/COPFS open a criminal investigation into the alleged misappropriation of funds donated to the Scottish National Party (SNP) on the basis that those funds would be held and applied for a specific, designated purpose.
If you subscribe to the theory that it’s better to fight 100 duck-sized horses than a single horse-sized duck, the SNP is knocking it out of the park today.
Because the papers just can’t make their minds up about the biggest story with which to attack John Swinney’s beleaguered party.
You’ve had a few pretty gruelling pieces to get through in the last week or so, readers, so here’s something a little more light-hearted.
It’s from an episode of Broadcasting Scotland on 27 November 2020, a month after we confirmed our big story about the SNP accounts and the missing fundraiser money. In it, snug-toed SNP MP Pete Wishart opines that there really is nothing to worry about, and we should all just put our trust in the party.
We’ll leave you to judge whose opinion stood the test of time.
Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: “It’s all so simplistic it reduces the topic to a joke. Far better to ask the respondents if they think…” Jun 14, 17:52
Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: “Scots, Irish, Basque, Sami, Roma. But not the Jews, obvs. To your typical Scots semi-professional victim, keening by the fire,…” Jun 14, 17:40
Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: “Confused and his Spanish galleons always raises a smile. The good people of the Americas; Aztecs, Maya, etc. begged the…” Jun 14, 17:32
Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: “Truths stick in the memory. Turds stick in the U bend. Anybody ken hoo mony short planks equals a Du…” Jun 14, 17:14
Northcode on Response Level Upgrade: ““Edward Said, however, confirmed that colonialism had already been long since directed at European races…” Thanks for that clarification. You…” Jun 14, 17:13
Dan on Response Level Upgrade: “It’s all gone a bit Pete Tong hasn’t it… I was just looking at the “Voices for Independence” feed and…” Jun 14, 17:09
Mark Beggan on Response Level Upgrade: “It started badly, it tailed off a little in the middle and the less said about the end the better,…” Jun 14, 15:43
Alf Baird on Response Level Upgrade: ““With colonialism the victims were non-Europeans, but with fascism Europeans became the victims.” Crevel’s ‘Murderous Humanitarianism’ (1932) attacked colonialism, capitalism,…” Jun 14, 15:22
Mark Beggan on Response Level Upgrade: “Nine out of ten cats said they prefer kittekat.” Jun 14, 15:19
Young Lochinvar on Response Level Upgrade: “AX He’ll be (ahem) servicing the cell blocks “Mr Big” and giving the Lags tutorials on embezzling..” Jun 14, 15:06
sam on Response Level Upgrade: “https://lordashcroftpolls.com/2026/06/will-they-win-how-will-the-civil-service-react-who-should-follow-farage-my-survey-of-reform-uk-members/ “Just under four in ten Reform UK members said they would describe someone who was from an ethnic minority,…” Jun 14, 14:19
Confused on Response Level Upgrade: “whats new? the anglos started out as pirates, then … just stuck with it; harassed by the vikings they started…” Jun 14, 13:32
Mark Beggan on Response Level Upgrade: “From the river to the sea It’ll be years till they’re free!” Jun 14, 13:06
Mark Beggan on Response Level Upgrade: “Alfred the Great Northy. A leader to unite the kingdom against the Danish cross dressers. Scotland needs an Eliot Ness!…” Jun 14, 12:55
Mark Beggan on Response Level Upgrade: “@Andthetoilette. Is this the new boyfriend Sam?” Jun 14, 12:37
Northcode on Response Level Upgrade: “It’s laughable… except it really isn’t. The BIG news story on the BBC today is ‘some commandos boarded an unarmed…” Jun 14, 12:22
Captain Caveman on Response Level Upgrade: “Another day, another dollar – and another demented old lefty declaring yet another thing as “fascist”, misquoting and/or misappropriating the…” Jun 14, 12:04
Mark Beggan on Response Level Upgrade: “@Sam As clear as dirty dish water.” Jun 14, 12:01
Andouillette on Response Level Upgrade: “Easy. ‘Their’ refers to the Deform members he polled. A bit clumsy but makes sense in that context.” Jun 14, 12:00
sam on Response Level Upgrade: “OK. Pay attention now. Two separate polls. One with Reform supporters asking their opinions on various matters. A second poll,…” Jun 14, 11:59
Andouillette on Response Level Upgrade: “Bloody hell! That’s shocking. How to dress a load of mince up in fancy clothes if ever there was one.…” Jun 14, 11:57
Northcode on Response Level Upgrade: “I haven’t read any of Du Bois, Alf. But I do remember reading – truths generally stick in the memory…” Jun 14, 11:34
Mark Beggan on Response Level Upgrade: ““A separate survey of the general population allows us to compare their views with those of the general public.” Eh?!!…” Jun 14, 11:18
Captain Caveman on Response Level Upgrade: ““Another take” … LOL Yeah, “another take” on some MAN literally smashing a police WOMAN’S spine with a sledgehammer and…” Jun 14, 10:46
Spartan 117 on Response Level Upgrade: “Pished, demented, sub-100 IQ rambling dripping in Anglo-hate and the deification of football. The above reads like an essay of…” Jun 14, 10:28
sam on Response Level Upgrade: “https://lordashcroftpolls.com/2026/06/will-they-win-how-will-the-civil-service-react-who-should-follow-farage-my-survey-of-reform-uk-members/ “Last month I [Lord Ashcroft] surveyed 850 members of Reform UK, asking about their priorities for government, their attitudes…” Jun 14, 09:27
Hatey McHateface on Wider Than A Mile: “Xaracen could start living his life as if he believes what he interminably posts on here is true. Every day,…” Jun 14, 08:53
Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: “Aye, Marie. Adults are focused on the fitba. It’s a rare opportunity for skint ordinary people, groaning under austerity and…” Jun 14, 08:45
DavidT on Response Level Upgrade: “The smart-alecs were far too hasty in their first response.” Jun 14, 08:41