And as the Nicola Sturgeon Loyal, led by her most faithful of lieutenants, set out to try to take control of the post-conviction narrative, let’s take a look at just what a boatload of bare-faced bullshit the above is.
There will be no trial, no cross-examination, no explanation. The people of Scotland, the members and supporters of the SNP, the wider Yes movement, none of us will ever know what really happened. Ever get the feeling you’ve been cheated?
Despite what you or we might think, in the eyes of the Scottish Football Association this ISN’T a pitch invasion. This is simply what a football match in progress looks like.
Because according to the absolutely extraordinary statement they’ve released this evening, that was game time. The clock was still running, nothing was being added to account for the fact that there were thousands of thugs rampaging across the field, and the game was still happening in that moment, until it was ended four seconds later.
The image below is a graph illustrating how many seats each party won in last week’s supposedly “proportional” Scottish Parliament election, compared to how many they would have won if the electoral system had been actually proportional.
The SNP and Greens are now over-represented by 37% and 50% respectively, while the Unionist parties are all under-represented compared to their vote share by (left to right) 26%, 19%, 20% and 23%.
The Additional Member System has failed very badly at its job, from either perspective. “Pro-indy” parties have 73 seats (57%) rather than the 52 seats that their 40.8% vote share should have earned, while Unionist parties have 56 seats (or 43%) when they should have 69 for their 56% of the vote.
(The other 4% of the vote was scattered among 24 other parties or independents, with 1.8% going to identifiably pro-independence candidates, increasing the total “pro-indy” vote to 42.6%, fully 10 points short of current polling for independence itself.)
It is, therefore, a little bit of a stretch – to put it mildly – to present the refusal of the UK government to grant a second independence referendum on the basis of the results as an outrage against “democracy”. Indeed, if any outrage against democracy has taken place, it happened last Thursday.
Anyone seeking to make a compelling argument for the proposition that Scotland’s politicians and lawmakers are simply too farcically incompetent to ever be trusted with running an independent country had a gift-wrapped Godsend delivered to them last week by the idiot student children of Edinburgh.
But we can’t really put the blame on the colourfully-haired, keffiyeh-clad cretin kiddies of the capital for that, because it’s their elders and betters who opened the door.
Well, we told you so. We told you in March (and indeed long before then) that the 2026 Holyrood election was a giant waste of time and money that would deliver exactly the same useless Parliament we already had, and so it proved.
The SNP ended up giving half-a-dozen seats to the Greens, Labour donated a handful to the Lib Dems, the Tories split into two parties with 29 seats instead of a single party with 31 and that’s about it. The SNP, Greens and Lib Dems stayed first, fourth and last, while the right-wing split let Labour creep from 3rd to joint 2nd despite losing seats.
A pro-indy tally of 72 became a pro-indy tally of 73, big whoop, and almost every SNP list vote elected Unionists instead, just as we told you for almost a year it would do.
To pass the time on (praise be to Baby Jeebus) the last day of the Holyrood election campaign, we thought we’d do a catch-up summary of all the seat projections we could find from last month and this month. Here it is.
Now, as it happens we think the potential seat ranges are significantly wider. There are so many factors of uncertainty that while there’s no credible doubt who’s going to be the biggest party, we reckon SNP seats could potentially be anywhere from about 47 to 68 (most likely the upper part of that range), with corresponding ramifications below.
But there’s one potentially interesting thing in that bottom half.
Specifically, of the Single Most Toe-Curlingly, Face-Palmingly Cretinous Thing Said In The 2026 Holyrood Election Campaign, And Possibly Any Election Ever, Prize.
We mean, wow. We could easily write a 1000-word article purely on the top 10 things that are fatuously, obviously idiotic about those three short sentences, and so could you. So imagine how embarrassed the poor Daily Record must be today.
Hatey McHateface on No Money Back, No Guarantee: ““Us indigenous Scots hiv niver taken a shit in oor ain hoose” My, Northy, but you do find new ways…” May 26, 18:52
Aidan on No Money Back, No Guarantee: “It’s hardly “overhyped” is it, the chief exec stealing nearly all of the parties resources.” May 26, 18:48
Young Lochinvar on No Money Back, No Guarantee: “Yes. Just think how much larger the yes numbers and smaller the no numbers would have been if the SNP-party-before-Country…” May 26, 18:34
Socrates MacSporran on No Money Back, No Guarantee: “I am still waiting for the first memes and gifs to come out, featuring Sturgeon being questioned by the Line…” May 26, 18:23
Izzie on No Money Back, No Guarantee: “Well done such a boost for the Cause. Dont worry everyone Canvassing for By-election abdpublic dont seem very interested in…” May 26, 18:12
agentx on No Money Back, No Guarantee: “Scotland’s newly elected parliament has called for Westminster to devolve the powers which would allow it to hold a second…” May 26, 17:53
robertkknight on No Money Back, No Guarantee: “Perhaps Sturgeon can be persuaded to do some volunteer work in a hospital in the DRC…” May 26, 17:44
Mark Beggan on No Money Back, No Guarantee: ““I bet there’s rich folks eating in a fancy dining car They’re probably drinkin’ coffee and smoking big cigars Well,…” May 26, 17:19
Northcode on No Money Back, No Guarantee: “Us indigenous Scots hiv niver taken a shit in oor ain hoose. Your favourite country, England, wis the yin that…” May 26, 17:10
Mark Beggan on No Money Back, No Guarantee: “The post-colonials are punching themselves into a corner. What part You’ve been ripped off! don’t you understand. No amount of…” May 26, 16:59
Ian Smith on No Money Back, No Guarantee: “Since UK short money was the main contributor Murrell is a hero for sticking it to the Colonists. As post…” May 26, 16:39
Mark Beggan on No Money Back, No Guarantee: “Never shit in your own house. Be careful for what wish for.” May 26, 16:25
Grace Green on No Money Back, No Guarantee: “The crimes began in August 2010, about the same time as the pair were “married”. Could it be that the…” May 26, 16:01
Chris Bayne on No Money Back, No Guarantee: “Rev, politically, we are not aligned and me and your followers will never be friends, but for ‘Mr Anwar knows…” May 26, 15:57
Andouillette on No Money Back, No Guarantee: “I find it utterly sick-making that Swiney and all the other apologists are falling back on the old ‘shocked and…” May 26, 15:00
Young Lochinvar on No Money Back, No Guarantee: “I wonder if Breathy Bain having read that is now frantically clearing out her desks pen drawer 🙂 As for…” May 26, 14:55
Young Lochinvar on No Money Back, No Guarantee: “Peter Was it not that COPFS deemed it “not in the public interest”? That’s what I seem to recall.” May 26, 14:43
agentx on No Money Back, No Guarantee: “https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cg5pp2pee7go Sturgeon wearing a Murrell bought pendant. https://www.scottishdailyexpress.co.uk/news/politics/operation-branchform-cops-investigating-peter-31639222 Photo with Sturgeon and Jag on her drive.” May 26, 14:31
Cynicus on No Money Back, No Guarantee: ““The two fundraisers combined raised almost £700,000 but Murrell only copped a plea for misappropriating £400,000 of it, and the…” May 26, 14:22
Morgatron on No Money Back, No Guarantee: “Brilliant article again Stu. I hope every blogger, journo, MP, MSP, JK, David Davis and anyone with clout and a…” May 26, 14:20
TimePilot on No Money Back, No Guarantee: “A quick “Google” of Sturgeon signing offical documents fed into AI (see screenshot below) https://i.postimg.cc/jdZMh7yB/Pens.jpg Pen Analysis Images 1, 2,…” May 26, 13:57
Willie on No Money Back, No Guarantee: “At some stage, and not in the too distant future legal action will I suspect be raised against those who…” May 26, 13:45
Hobbit on The Final Robbery: “This thieving began while Alex was still the leader. More generally, how could the SNP system have let the thieving…” May 26, 13:43
Richard Renier on No Money Back, No Guarantee: “No public money was stolen. So who funded the police enquiry, which cost over £1m?” May 26, 13:31
J Robertson on The Final Robbery: “As so many have said on here your investigation and reporting on this has been nothing short of magnificent Stu.…” May 26, 13:12
Ian Smith on The Final Robbery: “Didn’t the court say something about living a lifestyle he couldn’t afford. Since he had been on a six figure…” May 26, 13:01
Bobo bunny on The Final Robbery: “Candidate for being killed by hammers.” May 26, 12:46