As all alert readers will know, this site likes to keep a watchful eye on the shady and disturbing activities of paedophilia-plagued charity LGBT Youth Scotland. So we were naturally intrigued to hear that they’d hired a new convenor last month.
And if you’re sitting there thinking, “Blimey, AI Christopher Walken looks very very ill”, well, stay tuned, because this story gets more and more interesting.
Alert readers will have noticed something of a minor furore in recent days around a boneheaded Scottish Greens candidate (as if there were any other kind) calling for the complete abolition of prisons.
So far Kate Nevens – who on the latest polling has a very reasonable chance of being elected on the list – has resisted calls to step down, which is probably for the best as, incredibly, her replacement would be even worse.
With the implosion of Your Party concentrating the nutter vote firmly in Green hands, the next term of the Scottish Parliament is set to feature the worst array of MSPs in Holyrood’s history, with almost everyone in the SNP with any sort of ability or experience resigning to be replaced by hyper-obedient young party drones, while the opposition are mostly putting forward the same old faces who’ve been such utter failures for the last 20 years.
It’s a grim prospect, but we do have a solution to propose.
Because the truth is that we should all be quietly sending BBC Scotland bouquets in appreciation for doing the independence movement a favour for once.
We think the lads at The Scotsman might have gotten a bit confused and/or carried away when it came to putting the clocks forward at the weekend. At 6am on Sunday morning they tweeted this:
But the link was a 404. We checked the print edition of Scotland On Sunday but there was nothing there either. Finally, though, the article has shown up in today’s paper and on the website, and to be honest with you, readers, we still think it must be some sort of mistake, because it’s two days early for April 1st.
The turnout at the “independence march and rally” yesterday was so abysmally poor that it seems almost unfair to pick on any of the scores of SNP elected representatives who didn’t bother to show up.
But dear old Cosy Feet Pete Wishart had the most chef’s-kiss excuse of all.
The reason he didn’t fancy getting his wee Billy Whizz quiff blown about a chilly Calton Hill was that he had important business “taking on the far right” – who were of course nowhere to be seen – with “half a million” (50,000) of his British besties, a convenient short Tube ride away from his London residence, at a pretty openly anti-Semitic protest called, with a double layer of delicious comedic value… UK Together.
If events in Edinburgh today are anything to go by – when a march and rally announced with great fanfare seven months ago, backed by both the “independence” parties in the Scottish Parliament and featuring the First Minister as main speaker, attracted perhaps 1,500 people at the most to Calton Hill on a bright and sunny day – the independence movement faces an imminent final apocalypse.
So here’s how to prepare yourself for when the SNP win a landslide with 35%, Keir Starmer says “So what?” and then a deathly silence descends for another five years.
Even Kelly Given and Iona Fyfe didn’t show up for this one. That’s how bad it is.
The last faint hope of any remotely positive or at least interesting outcome of May’s election just left the building.
It wasn’t MUCH of a hope, and it’s absolutely no surprise in the wake of the comically shambolic, belief-defyingly inept farce that has been the birth of Jeremy Corbyn and Zarah Sultana’s fringe-of-the fringe party, but all the same its extinguishing means the next two months will be even more of a waste of time than they looked like being.
Frankly, readers, we may as well not bother having an election at all.
The number of parties who got MSPs elected at the last election is… five. (Though in fairness there are now six, Reform having a single MSP after Graham Simpson defected from the Tories. The Lib Dems are even outnumbered by independents, of whom there are seven.)
So Cathy Newman of Channel 4 News got herself a scoop last night.
And to be honest, readers, we were a bit confused. “Gender critical views” are not only lawful things to hold and express, they’re one of a small subset of opinions that are explicitly protected as such in law. And why would a man very occasionally airing some lawful and protected views on social media be a news story? You might as well run “BREAKING: Premiership footballer discovered to enjoy cheese-and-ham toasties”.
Which is handy, because today is also the day of the Gorton and Denton by-election in Manchester (fun fact: a seat we’d very likely have lived in ourselves if not for Osama bin Laden, but that’s another story), and that throws up some interesting parallels.
Alf Baird on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “What do we expect when the colony advertises and recruits for all its top jobs in the metropolitan capital of…” Apr 10, 19:11
Northcode on Not So Octopus: ““This song is brilliant lol” Brilliant, indeed. Professionally produced anti-Trump Persian propaganda. Clever rap rhetoric wrapped in visual rhetoric and…” Apr 10, 19:08
Northcode on Not So Octopus: ““The knives will no doubt be out for him cause the Union fears him.” Aye, Geri, there’s no doubt about…” Apr 10, 18:47
Insider on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “quote….. “A row has broken out over public funding of almost £2 million for LGBT Youth Scotland, a teenage gay…” Apr 10, 18:32
twathater on Not So Octopus: “Well said Young Lochinvar you are a seer who has described the beggar admirably” Apr 10, 18:24
Karen on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Well done again Stu! They force all the women out so the nonces (and their handmaidens) are all that’s left.…” Apr 10, 17:28
Cynicus on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: ““Do You Believe In ThelRev Stuart Campbell?” ====+ ChatGPT is having an AI hallucination -or HAD one. It identified our…” Apr 10, 16:28
Carol Sadler on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Hmmmm.Rminds me of that AI Jessica Foster influencer thingy.It’s got/had nearly 2 million followers who thought it was real.” Apr 10, 15:47
dawninnl on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Hi Rev, a gremlin has written Charles Rennie in the text, while the 2 quoted records say James Rennie. Please…” Apr 10, 15:47
James on Not So Octopus: “Jesus wept. Humpty & Dumpty out again. Distract, divert, derail. Rinse and repeat.” Apr 10, 15:39
peter on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “I wondered if the original report of the appointment was dated 1st April. But no it was dated 20th March.” Apr 10, 15:23
Mark Beggan on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “The situation in Scotland now is like a rotting tooth. All you need to do is go to the dentist…” Apr 10, 15:16
Confused on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “It comes full circle – the nonces were using AI to create AI slop kiddie porn – now the nonces…” Apr 10, 14:45
Lorncal on Not So Octopus: “Geri: no, I didn’t say that. I said that we have to clear out all the DEI, HR, charity sectors…” Apr 10, 14:33
Heaver on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Pretty sure you’ve only scratched the surface here Stu. Some day a Mikael Blomkvist is going to lay bare the…” Apr 10, 14:25
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “A stomach-churning glimpse into the hideous human cess-pit over which Redactor-in-Chief Swinney now presides post amnesiac Sturgeon’s tenure.” Apr 10, 13:47
freshmint on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “His left ear appears to be lobed while his right ear isn’t. Can’t be too many people around with that…” Apr 10, 13:47
Lorncal on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Looks like an AI-generated image of what a human male might look like if you’re trying to get a hang…” Apr 10, 13:45
Jennifer Livingston on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “I have never been exposed to a “were were” before. What do you know that I don’t? Is it something…” Apr 10, 13:43
Mark Beggan on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Ban the lot. Problem solved. Pull the cash and watch them dash for cover.” Apr 10, 13:42
J Robertson on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “His bio ( such as it is ) bears the hallmark of carefully curated crap” Apr 10, 13:42
lothianlad on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “your last few articles highlight the levels of brit state interference in scottish politics. The SNP is utterly complicit!” Apr 10, 13:40
lothianlad on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Well Done Stu!!! yet again, the scottish govenment SNP brit friendly weirdos are being exposed. Thanks to you!. their brit…” Apr 10, 13:37
Rab Dickson on Not So Octopus: “I am almost sure that there would have been a few absolutely delightful people in the Nazi Party in 1930s.…” Apr 10, 13:11
M.E. on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Nono you got it wrong. He’s clearly an android. He’s Tim *Westworld*.” Apr 10, 13:07
Sven on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Great and illuminating article, however I’m still grappling with attempting to get my poor, bewildered head around the concept of…” Apr 10, 12:56
Aidan on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “I think we can say with virtual certainty that this so-called Mr Westwood did not go straight out of the…” Apr 10, 12:54
