The Yes movement, like almost all movements, is plagued with a small but incredibly loud faction of intolerant, destructive extremists. Alert readers will have noticed that this site has again been the victim of them this week, but we’re not alone. They’ve also gone after two print publications – The National and iScot – over their “transgressions” against the beliefs of these self-appointed arbiters of what people are allowed to think.
What those two outlets and Wings have in common is achievement.
Last month saw the first meeting between the UK Brexit delegation and the EU’s, and by many accounts it fell far short of the UK’s expectations. David Davis spent months drumming up the “strong and stable” approach which would see both the divorce deal and the subsequent post-Brexit trade deal negotiated simultaneously. He was told by everyone that this wouldn’t happen, but simply brushed off the warnings. When push came to shove, he finally accepted that he’d have to negotiate the divorce deal first.
This is just the latest in a long string of failures and ineptitudes over the course of the UK’s handling of the whole farcical process and it got me thinking. If Scotland had voted Yes in 2014, what would it have looked like if the Scottish Government had handled that vote the way the UK has managed Brexit?
Millionaire-funded diehard loyalist forelock-tugging faction Scotland In Union published an extraordinary blog post yesterday.
Its 606 words comprised a sort of Caledonian Cringe Greatest Hits, allegedly penned by someone called Fiona Annesley (of whom we’re told nothing else, and who has no detectable online presence), but the line that particularly caught people’s eye was this:
The complete series so far. If you’ve got a story like this to tell, or you know anyone who does, Phantom Power want to hear from you – drop them a line.
I went to “Dunkirk” at the cinema today. If you want to know what it’s like, just watch this trailer 40 times in a row and save yourself the £12.
It’s a poor movie, disjointed and aimless and curiously lacking in tension or narrative given the real-life subject matter. (It’s remarkably short on dialogue, which is lucky because you can barely make out any of what little script or story there is from behind the endlessly howling one-note airhorn of the soundtrack. It’s a bit like someone filmed an IKEA assembly manual in live action during a Formula 1 race.)
But I couldn’t help thinking that part of the reason it was so unengaging was because it felt akin to watching a boxing match between two fighters you don’t like. If Mike Tyson took on Tyson Fury, would you cheer for the rapist or the anti-Semitic homophobe?
Today’s Daily Record covers the story we mentioned yesterday about a report from a Scottish Labour campaign group making the pretty factually-uncontestable point that the branch office’s dismal strategy in last month’s election held the UK party back.
We’ll be honest with you here, readers – even though it’s only July, when it comes to sheer ham-fisted, tin-eared, clown-shoed, foot-shooting idiocy we didn’t think anything in Scottish politics in 2017 could possibly top the SNP’s decision that the surefire way to win back voters after a poor election result was literally mutilating puppies.
After all, that’s the sort of thing you say as a self-evidently ludicrous and hyperbolic joke: “Ha ha, the SNP are so dominant in Scotland these days that the only way they could lose an election would be if Nicola Sturgeon went on telly and started hacking the tails off week-old puppy-dogs without anaesthetic! LOL!!!!!”
It couldn’t even be defended as a grotesque but cynically cunning attempt to win votes from the rural hunting-and-fishing lobby – they did it right AFTER the election, when all those people had just gone out and voted Tory anyway.
But bless their hearts, Scottish Labour never once saw a low bar that they didn’t try to slither under, and today they pulled off the seemingly impossible.
Broadly speaking, the psychological phenomenon known as the Pollyanna Principle is a tendency to neurotically see the most positive possible view of a situation. It’s not generally widely found in newspapers – for whom bad news as a rule sells much better than good news – but for some reason the Scottish press makes a uniform exception when it comes to military shipbuilding.
This, for example, is today’s Herald:
Now, in itself that headline is – unusually – true, so far as it goes. But it only takes until the first sentence of the article text before things start to fall apart.
Izzie on Friends Without Benefits: “The ‘room’ really dont care .Sorry but its a nin story. What about Westminster saying No thwarting the will of…” May 28, 18:37
Young Lochinvar on Friends Without Benefits: “I Is that was passes for humour this week amongst the party faithful? Pathetic. Total blind failure to read the…” May 28, 18:23
robertkknight on Friends Without Benefits: “Oh, I dunno… Goes a long way to explaining the gender woo-woo obsession. What goes on behind closed doors, eh?” May 28, 18:21
Billy Carlin on Friends Without Benefits: “The laugh is re Swinney lying about how they did not know that Murrell was swindling crook when most of…” May 28, 18:20
robertkknight on Friends Without Benefits: “Frank says: “Who is still protecting her?” I’d suggest you direct that question to the relevant section desk jockey in…” May 28, 18:18
Ex President Xiden on Friends Without Benefits: “It is an example of the tried and tested legal precedent known as ‘Kicking the can down the road’.” May 28, 17:58
Izzie on Friends Without Benefits: “Its okay folks we can alk get a shot of the campervan. I have booked my slot.” May 28, 17:49
Dan on Friends Without Benefits: “Is this why Pete only copped to 400K embezzlement, because the rest of a larger amount of monies was removed…” May 28, 17:39
Ex President Xiden on Friends Without Benefits: “By Sturgeon’s reasoning Peter Tobin and Angus Sinclair could also be said to have cooperated fully with the police after…” May 28, 17:30
Socrates MacSporran on Friends Without Benefits: “Re the feminine products removed from the charge sheet, the polis were probably confused; after all, it is fairly well…” May 28, 17:29
Frank Gillougley on Friends Without Benefits: “Seeing as the potential demise of Nicola regarding the inclusion of sanitary products was bargained away, surely it begs the…” May 28, 17:17
robertkknight on Friends Without Benefits: “More incisive investigative journalism, Rev…we salute you! As for Lady Sturgeon of Upper Behouchie, me thinks the lady doth protest…” May 28, 17:05
TURABDIN on Friends Without Benefits: “THE ACTIVITIES of Sturgeon & Murrell have taken Scotland further away from independence and handed the opposition propaganda for speculation…” May 28, 16:46
Northcode on All The Dirt From My Eyes: ““Ultimately, as Fanon came to realise, force by the minority who have psychologically engaged may be required.” It can’t be…” May 28, 16:26
Bill Scullion on Friends Without Benefits: “I have had several roles in internal audit many years ago and some of these did involve dealing with frauds…” May 28, 16:21
Alf Baird on Friends Without Benefits: “Ferry procurement would make for an interesting case study, though the beneficiaries are unlikely to be hapless politicians.” May 28, 15:58
J Robertson on Friends Without Benefits: “I notice Reputation Management closely followed by Fraud and Corporate Crime (somewhat oddly for a socially justice-minded lawyer and self…” May 28, 15:52
Marie Clark on Off-topic: “Hi Sarah and Tinto. We don’t have too many swallows this year which is a shame. We also don’t have…” May 28, 15:42
Cynicus on All The Dirt From My Eyes: “Izzie, just say it: “wheesht for Indy” You know you want to.” May 28, 15:26
Rev. Stuart Campbell on No Money Back, No Guarantee: ““It has previously been suggested by Wings, that he stole this money, then partially paid it back as ‘a loan’,…” May 28, 15:14
Tom Harrison on Friends Without Benefits: “You too can learn how fraud is done and dusted in public sector by SG, PS, CPS, CO and others…” May 28, 15:04
Mark Beggan on Friends Without Benefits: “The Special Needs Party are all pointing to police Scotland. Nothing more thorough than a police investigation! So nothing to…” May 28, 14:54
paul on Friends Without Benefits: “So she was also completely unaware of her husband’s enthusiasm for female underwear and makeup? A trip to specsavers is…” May 28, 14:45
Young Lochinvar on Friends Without Benefits: “Maybe Swinney and Dot Bain should release character witness statements for Tricky Nicky. That would be interesting..” May 28, 14:38
sydthesnake on Friends Without Benefits: “Big surprise JS vetoing an independent investigations, all it takes for evil to prevail is honest people turning a blind…” May 28, 14:27
Tommy B on Friends Without Benefits: “Fraser Nelson’s contemporaneous quote-tweet of the STV News tweet: https://x.com/FraserNelson/status/1264580180288442368 Which links to the tweet in question: https://x.com/STVNews/status/1264549224739373056 Curiously, the…” May 28, 14:21
Andrea on Friends Without Benefits: “Asking again, does anyone know or can anyone surmise why the investigation took years and years, given we are not…” May 28, 14:18
Alice Timmons on Friends Without Benefits: “You are SUCH a bitch. I’ve always loved that about you!!” May 28, 13:46
Colin Alexander on All The Dirt From My Eyes: “I’ve never agreed with the “Wha’s like Us” fantasy, that politicians in Scotland have better morals and are more competent…” May 28, 13:46
Erika Watson on The Final Robbery: “I don’t think it is a coincidence that the politicians and journalists who are prepared to lie to our face…” May 28, 13:39