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A Long Hard Think 66

Posted on September 11, 2026 by

More than three months ago now, we sent Police Scotland a Freedom Of Information request. A few minutes ago we finally received a response. Brace yourselves.

That is, um… interesting.

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Haven’t had a dream in a long time 79

Posted on August 31, 2026 by

These are strange days, readers.

It’s getting hard to tell who’s on which side.

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You’ll Have Had Your Supper 174

Posted on August 24, 2026 by

Great news, everyone – Scottish Labour has finally worked out how to talk to the people of Scotland. This video featuring the party’s MP Melanie Ward just appeared on the Scotland Office’s LinkedIn page, and it explains the complexities of the interlinked Scottish and UK economies in terms that the UK government hopes all of you awful thick Jocko plebs might be able to understand. Enjoy.

And tomorrow morning, do remember to eat your cereal, won’t you?

The Other Kind Of Winning 73

Posted on August 12, 2026 by

The National runs headlines like this quite often.

The sort-of newspaper doesn’t actually have a sports section – it just publishes The Herald’s – but if it did you have to wonder what it would look like.

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The Plague 91

Posted on August 04, 2026 by

Ever-alert Wings readers will be aware that for the past three and a half years or so I’ve been the target of a campaign by disgraced former policeman Lynsay Watson, who over that period has relentlessly attempted to get me arrested, prosecuted and imprisoned for knowing – and saying – that human beings can’t change sex.

(As we’ll learn during this article, I am far from unique in that experience.)

Watson has made numerous ludicrous, vexatious complaints to various police forces about me – a particularly memorable one being when he reported me last September for “perverting the course of justice” because I’d tweeted a link to a fundraiser for someone being persecuted by another transactivist – as well as trying to extort tens of thousands of pounds from me with threats.

Yesterday, though, he finally found some police officers gullible enough to listen.

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The End Of Law 191

Posted on June 20, 2026 by

This really is the most extraordinary statement.

The short version is “We’re going to keep breaking the law every day while we think about whether we want it to apply to us or not”.

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Only An Excuse 184

Posted on May 21, 2026 by

Despite what you or we might think, in the eyes of the Scottish Football Association this ISN’T a pitch invasion. This is simply what a football match in progress looks like.

Because according to the absolutely extraordinary statement they’ve released this evening, that was game time. The clock was still running, nothing was being added to account for the fact that there were thousands of thugs rampaging across the field, and the game was still happening in that moment, until it was ended four seconds later.

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Pick Your Poison 207

Posted on May 07, 2026 by

At the end of last year we noted the unusual and persistent levels of divergence in Scottish political polling. As polls have become much more frequent during the election campaign, nothing about that has changed. The final polls, published yesterday, are so far apart from each other that they tell us basically zip.

Analysing this mess is meaningless, so we’ll just give you some highlights.

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The value bet 68

Posted on May 06, 2026 by

To pass the time on (praise be to Baby Jeebus) the last day of the Holyrood election campaign, we thought we’d do a catch-up summary of all the seat projections we could find from last month and this month. Here it is.

Now, as it happens we think the potential seat ranges are significantly wider. There are so many factors of uncertainty that while there’s no credible doubt who’s going to be the biggest party, we reckon SNP seats could potentially be anywhere from about 47 to 68 (most likely the upper part of that range), with corresponding ramifications below.

But there’s one potentially interesting thing in that bottom half.

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Clocks And Calendars 178

Posted on March 30, 2026 by

We think the lads at The Scotsman might have gotten a bit confused and/or carried away when it came to putting the clocks forward at the weekend. At 6am on Sunday morning they tweeted this:

But the link was a 404. We checked the print edition of Scotland On Sunday but there was nothing there either. Finally, though, the article has shown up in today’s paper and on the website, and to be honest with you, readers, we still think it must be some sort of mistake, because it’s two days early for April 1st.

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Shield Of The Phantom 338

Posted on January 26, 2026 by

Well, we gave it a go.

It seems that it’s fine to farm important judgments out to mysterious shadowy figures who just make important chunks of them up out of thin air, and then issue them in your own name. Back in your boxes, plebs.

The Secondhand Amendment 137

Posted on January 19, 2026 by

We’re really not sure this makes things any better with regard to the incredible tale that’s unfolded around the judgment in Sandie Peggie vs NHS Fife.

In fact, on any interpretation we can think of, quite the reverse.

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    • Alf Baird on A Long Hard Think: ““There really are jobs that take years, even decades, of experience to master” That’s a valid point, Hatey. ‘Ferries procurement’…Sep 12, 12:00
    • Confused on A Long Hard Think: “everyone else is doing it, why don’t we https://www.telegraph.co.uk/world-news/2026/09/12/trump-united-ireland-would-be-a-great-thing/ trump, at the very least, doesn’t give a fuck about england.…Sep 12, 11:53
    • willie on A Long Hard Think: “Interesting how on his visit to Ireland that President Trump said he thought a united Ireland would be a good…Sep 12, 11:45
    • Chas on A Long Hard Think: “Yep. 300+ years will be wiped out because professor crank says so. Of course, with some help from some dubious…Sep 12, 11:41
    • Hatey McHateface on A Long Hard Think: “Fair enough, Alf, post-Indy everybody currently running Scotland will flee to London as predicted by the post colonial boys. Does…Sep 12, 11:32
    • Hatey McHateface on A Long Hard Think: ““Scotland’s people are closer to ending the UK ‘union’ hoax than many think” That will undoubtedly rely on a personalised…Sep 12, 11:16
    • Hatey McHateface on A Long Hard Think: ““you’re the wings champion” Shucks, I’m welling up here. Tell you what, Dave, if you post another after this one…Sep 12, 11:05
    • Alf Baird on A Long Hard Think: ““if we’d voted Yes in 2014, although even the most cursory thought would tell us it would be much the…Sep 12, 10:30
    • Hatey McHateface on A Long Hard Think: “Anarcho tyranny and neo feudalism are two of the terms being used to describe the state of affairs we see.…Sep 12, 10:23
    • DaveL on A Long Hard Think: “…don’t stop there! Last word, come on you can do it. We all know you can do it, you’re the…Sep 12, 10:18
    • DaveL on A Long Hard Think: “Ten twenty and more at a time soon mounts up but you know better eh. Any idea what the service…Sep 12, 10:12
    • Alf Baird on A Long Hard Think: ““burning down the court house records to protect the guilty” was, according to Prof Elkins, a rather common feature in…Sep 12, 10:11
    • Hatey McHateface on A Long Hard Think: ““You’re just to thick and gobby for your own good” Aha! The Baton of Erudition has been recovered and is…Sep 12, 10:00
    • Hatey McHateface on A Long Hard Think: “I absolutely and categorically believe with every fiber of my being that “ten, twenty or more” isn’t “thousands”. Just as…Sep 12, 09:51
    • Spartan 117 on A Long Hard Think: “Good post. Your second paragraph accurately sums up the current state of the whole of the UK. We are ruled…Sep 12, 09:39
    • Spartan 117 on A Long Hard Think: “It’s not hard to imagine Chas as that’s exactly what we have at present.Sep 12, 09:30
    • DaveL on A Long Hard Think: “The reasoning is quite simple and easy to see. People the police like are left alone to do as they…Sep 12, 09:25
    • DaveL on A Long Hard Think: “Do you think that when ten, twenty or more people lifted at a time on ‘terrorism’ charges get to wait…Sep 12, 09:13
    • Hatey McHateface on A Long Hard Think: “If you don’t want anybody to be investigated and possibly penalised for the missing money and goods, twathater, just say…Sep 12, 08:36
    • twathater on A Long Hard Think: “AND let us also not FORGET Robert Corruption. This sorry excuse for a country, governed by the corrupt for the…Sep 12, 03:12
    • twathater on A Long Hard Think: ““That is the UK Gov taking action because the Scottish Gov will not!” Correct. By far the most significant development…Sep 12, 03:05
    • Willie on A Long Hard Think: “And meanwhile how many people know that the ‘ Kangaroo court ” they call the Standards Commission Scotland has changed…Sep 12, 01:05
    • Andrew Morton on A Long Hard Think: “Obvious, innit? The items in her possession are presumably the ones removed from the charge sheet. As they aren’t the…Sep 12, 00:28
    • Lorncal on A Long Hard Think: “Must admit that this is something that I did think about initially, but, now, I don’t care. All I want…Sep 11, 23:14
    • Hatey McHateface on A Long Hard Think: ““That is the UK Gov taking action because the Scottish Gov will not!” Correct. By far the most significant development…Sep 11, 21:45
    • Hatey McHateface on A Long Hard Think: “Michty Fearghas! You’re remarkably hale, hearty and spry for somebody who’s been riddled with bullets. But to be serious for…Sep 11, 21:34
    • Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on A Long Hard Think: “« Did we dodge a bullet or did we dodge a bullet in 2014. » No, we invited the hail…Sep 11, 20:57
    • Chas on A Long Hard Think: “It did not take too long before the crank professor mounted his hobby horse! I said some years ago that,…Sep 11, 20:24
    • Alf Baird on A Long Hard Think: ““We’ll be honest with you, readers, we’re at something of a loss for words at this point.” In the Manichaean…Sep 11, 19:48
    • Hatey McHateface on A Long Hard Think: “As things stand, willie, there appears to be £700,000 unaccounted for. In addition, there appears to be items bought with…Sep 11, 19:14
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