As well as being the Director of the John Smith Policy Centre (a job with no known responsibilities but which nevertheless pays around the same as being an MSP making laws in the Scottish Parliament) she writes regular columns in The Times and The Courier and is now, hilariously, the new Professor of Practice in Public Service in Glasgow University.
(A post with unspecified duties and unknown salary and which was also not, as far as anyone can tell, ever publicly advertised.)
We were bored so we thought we’d find out, via Panelbase, if her latest lucrative role was perhaps the result of a noticeably impressive performance in the first one.
Sometimes even fools and liars and charlatans speak the truth.
Thing is, we rather liked it when the horses south of the border were frightened. Things happened in those days. But to coin a phrase, those days are past now.
Because the SNP are now openly, publicly telling you that they’re never going to achieve independence for Scotland, nor even make any meaningful attempt at it.
For anyone with the slightest remaining grip on their critical faculties, the cat was truly let out of the bag on the day of the First Minister’s infamous “broom cupboard” video last January, in which she abjectly grovelled at the feet of a tiny handful of adolescent transactivists who’d left the party in a loud and choreographed public tantrum because it still hadn’t burned Joanna Cherry at the stake for believing in human biology.
One of those she was abasing herself to that day was the repulsive and now mercifully deceased drug dealer and abusive racist misogynist Leeze Lawrence (above, left), but he was only the tip of a filthy iceberg.
I am greatly honoured to have been targeted for censorship in the same weekend as two great artists as rightly esteemed as Salman Rushdie and Jerry Sadowitz. (Though thankful to have not yet been violently physically attacked for my views, as both have.)
To be honest, I was amazed my most recent Twitter account lasted three months. I set it up in May for the sole purpose of a throwaway rude reply to Darren “Loki” McGarvey and Kenny Farquharson of The Times, expecting it to be banned within hours, then somehow it had thousands of followers and I figured I might as well have a bit of fun with it for however long it lasted against the barrage of shrieking outrage and mass organised complaints from the SNP Twitler Youth.
Which turned out to be until Saturday night.
Twitter has declined to identify who I supposedly incited the harassment of, or to offer any examples of the offending tweets. Obviously I did no such thing, but it’s good to know that “in order to ensure that people feel safe expressing diverse opinions and beliefs on our platform”, only some opinions and beliefs may be expressed.
Which even in the hopelessly politically-debased world of the modern Scottish judiciary might be one of the most extraordinary miscarriages of justice in the nation’s history.
As you can see, she’s part of the hyperwoke “Aberdeen Independence Movement” faction which recently took it upon itself to issue a “code of conduct” for independence campaigners, demanding that everyone in the Yes movement should debate things:
You know how the SNP are always going on about how bad the Tories are and how urgently we need to get rid of them? Well, it turns out they don’t want that to happen for at least a couple of years. They just want a different Tory as Prime Minister, even though they keep telling us that Boris Johnson is the greatest recruiting sergeant for independence there could be.
We were sent something disturbing recently. It’s from a training course civil servants are being sent on by the Scottish Government.
As you can see, one of the sites that staff are directed to is something called The Trans Language Primer. We thought you should see some of its content.
Confused on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “I sometimes see Brookmyre walking about; he is a local. “your books are shite” I banter in passing, listing a…” May 31, 12:56
Captain Caveman on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: ““Reading shite crime novels gives middle class pricks a vicarious dark streets of Scotland fix, whilst making them feel as…” May 31, 12:51
TURABDIN on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “SCOTS BORN could be around 100k mark as census returns may be conservative owing to family data withheld. Second &…” May 31, 12:50
Hatey McHateface on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: ““I suspect those ‘customers’ who once supported the SNP in their many thousands have just silently abandoned it” I guess…” May 31, 12:44
Rob on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “I do not have a problem with gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transexuals or “queers” per se. As long as it is…” May 31, 12:24
findlay on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “Could that be described as assisted suicide? However, as far as I know, it’s still a crime to lend assistance…” May 31, 12:20
TURABDIN on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “the ULTIMATE QUEER list, a few you might actually have heard of, https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/independent-pride-list-2026-lgbt-changemakers-alan-carr-b2981863.html Nae Nicola! Maybe next year hen, Next…” May 31, 12:18
Northcode on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “Silent churn is a business term mostly used by sales and marketing professionals. The silent churn of unhappy customers is…” May 31, 12:15
Mark Beggan on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “Story circulating that Alex Salmond paid £500 pounds out of his own pocket to cover a theft by Murrell many…” May 31, 12:12
Mark Beggan on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “It will be easier to get rid of queers from positions in civic society than it was to force them…” May 31, 11:55
David Lindsay on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “The Crown Prosecution Service will not be seeking the extradition of Kenneth Law, despite his 79 known victims in the…” May 31, 11:52
robertkknight on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “A glance to the right of this webpage displays just some of the ‘Jam Tomorrow’ front pages of that rag…” May 31, 11:51
Rob on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “It seems that the SNP have forgotten the original brief for the party, upon independence the party was supposed to…” May 31, 11:51
Rob on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “Has she ever heard the saying, “when you are in a hole stop digging?” The whole story from her seems…” May 31, 11:43
Hatey McHateface on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “Smart, successful politicians should organise their own assassinations.” May 31, 11:42
Hatey McHateface on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: ““I feel I’m being tried for a crime I didn’t commit” Un be fucking lievable. When is somebody gonna confront…” May 31, 11:39
findlay on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “Sometimes life is just one steep learning curve, and I imagine she’s learning, just a little bit, about how she…” May 31, 11:36
Hatey McHateface on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “There’s some 90,000 Scots already living in London, CC, making it the fifth most populous Scottish city in the UK,…” May 31, 11:27
Hatey McHateface on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “I guess she’s not yet sweating, then. And these days, it’s Mr Mountbatten-Windsor. Leave your glengarry undoffed, willie!” May 31, 11:10
Owen Mullions on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: ““I feel I’m being tried for a crime I didn’t commit” wails a tearful Sturgeon. She doesn’t do irony doesn’t…” May 31, 11:08
Terry on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “Ha ha. Well done You deserve a laugh and praise after your tireless pursuit of the truth. The whole of…” May 31, 11:04
Cynicus on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: ““ Sturgeon’s interview with Laura Kuenssberg will come to be seen alongside Prince Andrew’s interview with Emily Maitlis.” ========= Are…” May 31, 10:59
Captain Caveman on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “Well, it would’ve been quite amusing if she had in fact chosen that most beautiful English city – the Roman…” May 31, 10:48
TURABDIN on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “Independence movements eventually take the violent route. The mainstream Scots independentists appear rather squeamish/nervous in that regard. Fanon ultimately reached…” May 31, 10:47
Ex President Xiden on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “Well there you have it. In an interview with Laura Kuenssberg this morning, wee Nicola reveals she is in fact…” May 31, 10:44
willie on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “And here’s a prediction. Sturgeon’s interview with Laura Kuenssberg will come to be seen alongside Prince Andrew’s interview with Emily…” May 31, 10:28
willie on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “Just watched Laura Kuenssberg’s Sunday morning interview with Sturgeon. Pinnochio would be hard pressed to come up with the whopper…” May 31, 10:21
Hatey McHateface on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “If Fanon, Memmi, Cesaire, Elkins and the Jonesy boyo don’t explain the “colonial condition of Scots”, Alf, why do you…” May 31, 10:09
Hatey McHateface on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “They’re also reporting a surge in donations to the SNP, as the faithful rush to make up the shortfall caused…” May 31, 09:52
Hatey McHateface on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “Wally Walrus returns from the fjords, to practice his extremely limited vocab on here. Keep your flapping flippers above the…” May 31, 09:46