Ladies and gentlemen, the next leader of the SNP.
To be scrupulously fair to the huffing dolt-child, we suppose in grey, chilly Aberdeen there could be some confusion on the matter. But remarkably, the above isn’t even nearly the dumbest thing that’s happened (so far) at this year’s SNP conference.
We’ve just had an extraordinary email from Police Scotland, readers. Here it is.
Ladies and gentlemen, meet the real-life Timecops.
Our fundraiser to bring a judicial review of Police Scotland’s decision not to charge anyone with embezzlement in the case of the SNP’s missing £700,000 indyref fund is now live, and can be reached by clicking on this image, or here.
The target of £30,000 represents the cost of the initial application (with contingency for the other side’s costs should it fail).
Alert readers will recall that last year the SNP convened a summit in Glasgow for the sole purpose of uniting the nation in preventing Nigel Farage becoming Prime Minister.
The party also regularly tells us that to actually achieve independence, support would have to build to an overwhelming consensus into the 60-65% range, rather than the 50% +/-3 that it’s been stubbornly stuck at for the last 12 years.
So, y’know, now we know why they’re so frantically desperate to keep Farage out.
We’re getting so much correspondence from Police Scotland at the moment that we’re starting to feel like their guiltily-neglected penpal.
This one, though, is slightly more involved than their usual two-paragraph brushoff.
This is what it looks like, if you’ve ever wondered.
It’s basically the police’s own version of a seven-hour “no comment” interview.
Given the refusal of Police Scotland to meaningfully answer our questions, we’ve been left with no alternative but to report Nicola Sturgeon for the crime of reset.
We’re sure the matter will be handled with the exact same professional diligence and complete and fearless impartiality that it would be for any other accused person.
More than three months ago now, we sent Police Scotland a Freedom Of Information request. A few minutes ago we finally received a response. Brace yourselves.
That is, um… interesting.
The SNP really really don’t want to have another independence referendum, but if somebody somehow FORCES them into one, they DEFINITELY don’t want to have it in circumstances where they’d be starting the campaign with a 16-point lead.
(We must conclude from all this, incidentally, that John Swinney LOVES the Tories, because he had no problem accepting an indyref from a right-wing party in 2012.)
If Scotland leaves the UK, who might be the Prime Minister of the remains of it is none of his business, and certainly shouldn’t be a dealbreaker in achieving independence.
If there’s anyone left in the SNP with a shred of integrity (and if there is they must be very deep undercover indeed), Swinney ought to be challenged for the leadership at next month’s conference and replaced with someone – the Lord alone knows who – who’s actually willing to pursue the party’s supposed primary goal, because Swinney has now dismissed every possible route to it out of hand.
These are strange days, readers.
It’s getting hard to tell who’s on which side.
Something rather extraordinary happened yesterday, dearest readers. Very briefly, we absolutely genuinely thought someone in a position of some influence in the SNP had taken a meaningful step towards being serious about independence.
We are not being sarcastic. Look: here it is. (Transcript at bottom of article.)
Dave Doogan is the SNP’s leader at Westminster. And let’s be clear: that is EXACTLY what the SNP’s stance ought to be. Its only purpose is supposed to be the securing of Scottish independence, and no peaceful democratic means of achieving that ought to be off the table. We couldn’t believe what we were hearing, like it was a dream.
The SNP was not formed with the purpose of denying England/the UK the government it voted for, it was formed to completely sever the governance of Scotland and England from each other as a matter of permanent principle, regardless of the prevailing political climate at any given point in time.
If England wants Nigel Farage as Prime Minister, that’s England’s business. The point of independence is that Scotland doesn’t have to get him too. No more, no less.
So obviously, the hapless Doogan’s brave and bright new dawn was brutally slapped down within a matter of hours.
Wings Over Scotland is a thing that exists.
