Wings Over Scotland

This article is the only thing Wings is going to say about the COVID-19 crisis, because (a) we’re on holiday, (b) it has very little to do with Scottish politics, and (c) we’re not virologists and have no expertise to offer.

But in so far as we have some sort of reach and to some extent people listen to us, and we don’t want any of you to die, here’s a small plea for all our sakes.

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As we write this, in between bouts of weeping with exhausted misery, frustration and rage, Her Majesty’s Opposition’s interminable will-they-won’t-they game of attempting – maybe, one day, perhaps – to bring down the government and force a new election leading to a new EU referendum continues.

And as the SNP in particular devotes huge amounts of energy to trying to stop Brexit, against the wishes of its own voters, we wondered how the public not just in Scotland but in the two constituent nations of the UK that voted Leave felt about that.

Uh-oh.

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We’ve just been leaked this short clip of a secret UK government exercise preparing for the week after Brexit.

We’re sure everything will be fine and no drastic measures will be required.

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Oh God. Would you look at the absolute state of this, readers?

Let’s make like everybody’s mental health and break that down.

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Yesterday was quite an eventful day, so it’s moderately possible you may have missed the alarming news that some shady Mafia-backed hedge fund or such has apparently funded these irresponsible and morally-suspect chancers (last seen shilling on air for literally Vladimir Putin and BBC Scotland, in that order) to produce an all-new series of scurrilous and dubious fact-grubbing for some inexplicable reason.

We have alerted the appropriate authorities. For safety, remain in your homes.

It’s morning in America, readers.

Judge Dredd: Origins was published in 2007, although in fact the basic story of how Bad Bob Booth became the last President of the USA and what he did next was established right back at the 1970s beginnings of Dredd’s parent comic 2000AD.

We actually have a theory that it’s all the Lib Dems’ fault.

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Following our news report at the weekend that Kezia Dugdale had gone to the USA to help Hillary Clinton, a concerned reader etc etc with inevitable results etc.

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We thought we might leave this here so that Scottish journalists could print it out and stick it on their monitors as a memory aid. It’s something they keep unaccountably forgetting for some reason.

You never know, it might just cheer them up a bit.

Ah, the good old days.

Obviously, actually including the exact phrases “within 45 minutes” and “weapons of mass destruction” might have been a little bit too near the knuckle, but the message comes across just the same: “Here we go again.”

This week, as the UK’s new Conservative government brought forward a bill to impose tax on renewable energy projects, just seven Labour MPs turned up to oppose it.

You know these guys that you used to see wandering round the city centre with a sandwich board telling us “THE END IS NIGH”? It seems they were right.

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