Slacky The Holiday Boy is off for the next THREE weeks, gallivanting around the globe on the clearly excessive wages we’re paying him. We hope he does actually come back, because his home city is becoming a poisonously hostile place for the creative.
Around 300 years ago, Edinburgh was the birthplace and residence of the Scottish Enlightenment, a remarkable period of intellectual and scientific accomplishment built around “the importance of human reason combined with a rejection of any authority that could not be justified by reason”, and which led to the city being famously dubbed “the Athens of the North”.
Fair play to The National, the use of the word “HIS” in this banner on their front page today might be the single funniest thing ever printed by a Scottish newspaper.
Because everyone and his dug in Scotland knows whose strategy it actually is, and how many years Pete Wishart spent traducing it as nonsense and furiously venting his overworked spleen at anyone who advocated it – right up to the point where Nicola Sturgeon adopted it in a desperate last attempt to keep the indy faithful pushing the SNP gravy bus, at which point it became the greatest masterplan of all time.
But today’s piece in the indy equivalent of the Daily Express (albeit with only a tenth of the sales) is so jawdropping that we doubt even Robert Oppenheimer would be up to the job of putting a scorchmark on Wishart’s brass neck, so let’s spend five minutes having a look at it before we go out for a bit of sunshine.
Humza Yousaf is played here by Morgan Freeman, the big plane carrying the bomb is the independence movement and Rishi Sunak and Keir Starmer are in the chopper.
Even quite alert Wings readers may not recall our brush with thoroughly obnoxious SNP councillor (and former chair of the misleadingly-named Aberdeen Independence Movement) Fatima Joji, because it happened such a long time ago.
But sometimes when someone behaves particularly egregiously in their professional role you have to at least give the proper grievance procedures a try (although it can prove very expensive to do so), and 13 months ago that’s what we did. We still have no idea how close we may be to the end of the process, but we have an update.
Look, we know. But there’s no news. Check out the state of it.
“KEYBOARD PLAYER ALLEGEDLY GOT FAT-SHAMED AT SOME UNSPECIFIED POINT IN TIME BY FOURTH-DIVISION BAND WHO LAST HAD A TOP 40 SINGLE IN 2006“ and “CYCLIST GOES TO TOILET”. Front pages.
(The keyboard player now works for SNP pie-disposal unit Anne McLaughlin, ironically, which seems to be the closest relationship the story has with current affairs. But hey, kudos to the Record for beating all the other papers to that “exclusive”.)
We remain alert. If anything remotely worthwhile happens, we’ll be on it.
The reality-TV let’s say “personality” Kelly Given – who Wings readers previously met on a trip to New York for Tartan Week with a raft of SNP let’s say “celebrities” a couple of months ago – has been off on another nice holiday.
Last night she told both the viewers of BBC Scotland’s “Seven Days” that she’d just spent three weeks on an island in Greece, where apparently she was quite shocked to discover that the Mediterranean nation was hot in July.
As far as we’re aware, LGBT Youth Scotland remains under police investigation for the suspected grooming and sexual exploitation of children. It’s impossible to imagine any other sort of organisation that could still expect to enjoy the patronage of a First Minister under such circumstances – especially when there were obvious other places he could be reasonably expected to show his face – but that’s how the SNP’s priorities roll in 2023 and there’s no getting away from it.
For any question to do with independence, folks, Humza Yousaf is not the answer.
Mark Beggan on Response Level Upgrade: “The march to Fenway park is now part of Bostonian folklore.” Jun 15, 23:34
Cynicus on Response Level Upgrade: ““ Boston has just been colonized” ======= No Scotland, No (Tea) Party?” Jun 15, 23:18
Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: “You have to understand, Wally Walrus, that not everybody is like you. Not everybody is larded with a thick layer…” Jun 15, 22:47
Mark Beggan on Response Level Upgrade: “Boston has just been colonized. The American ladies just love those kilts.” Jun 15, 22:12
James on Response Level Upgrade: “Wasting your time with these comedians, Dan. Why let the truth get in the way of a couple of shite…” Jun 15, 21:59
Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: “You get it! The only flaw I can see in the entire scheme, and it’s a flaw of infinitesimal probability,…” Jun 15, 21:10
Southernbystander on Response Level Upgrade: “Especially if nearly all the players were English. It cannot fail as it would unite virtually every Scot on the…” Jun 15, 20:34
Mark Beggan on Response Level Upgrade: “@Hatey You’ve been hanging around with the wrong people.” Jun 15, 19:40
Mark Beggan on Response Level Upgrade: “It’s all unraveling. One step at a time.” Jun 15, 19:22
Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: “I don’t think you’re getting it, Mark. It may seem counter intuitive, but any Scot determined on Indy should be…” Jun 15, 19:20
Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: “But she’s already forgotten doing it.” Jun 15, 19:15
Mark Beggan on Response Level Upgrade: “Nicola Sturgeon has changed her pronouns to Him not Me.” Jun 15, 18:53
Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: “Perhaps not immediate. Let’s get the World Cup over with first.” Jun 15, 18:47
Mark Beggan on Response Level Upgrade: “They tried that with Team GB, went down like a Tranny in woman’s changing room.” Jun 15, 17:23
agentx on Response Level Upgrade: “After the Court decision today there should be an IMMEDIATE BAN ON GAY COUPLES adopting children.” Jun 15, 17:21
Confused on Response Level Upgrade: “Much as I have no interest in the rosbifs winning anything, I know a bit (too much) about english football;…” Jun 15, 17:10
Ebok on Response Level Upgrade: “Service Adviser 19(89)84(7)? SNP left me in 2016 and has done so to ever increasing numbers of its members since…” Jun 15, 16:47
Spartan 117 on Response Level Upgrade: “I also played midfield briefly in my 20s, for whatever relevance that is. I’ve nothing against Fitba’ and wish our…” Jun 15, 15:30
Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: “The “cup marks” the Picts left on their sacred and symbolic liths were pictorial representations of winning set piece tactics.…” Jun 15, 14:59
Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: “If you’re saying that Scottish culture consists of cash-strapped Scots scrimping and doing without to richly reward prima donnas, their…” Jun 15, 14:51
Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: “Good one, Northy. Football is like politics right enough. A zero sum game. One side is victorious, the other is…” Jun 15, 14:35
Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: “How many years (and how many World Cups) is it since I twigged that your typical self-identifying Indy supporter would…” Jun 15, 14:27
Southernbystander on Response Level Upgrade: “The English stopped believing the England team are just an underachieving heavyweight long, long before 2014, like when the team…” Jun 15, 14:27
Northcode on Response Level Upgrade: “Albert Einstein (yes, really) — played as a youth in Munich Einstein wasn’t a competitive player, but he did play…” Jun 15, 14:17
Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: ““The Scottish accent is the most trusted in the world” Of course, it can only be trusted where it is…” Jun 15, 14:14
Alf Baird on Response Level Upgrade: “All you folks seek to do is de-base Scottish culture. But we know, ‘that is how colonialism works, by de-basing…” Jun 15, 14:12
Captain Caveman on Response Level Upgrade: “Yawn. More verbose, witless, irrelevant drivel. My original comment stands. You bore me beyond belief.” Jun 15, 14:05
Northcode on Response Level Upgrade: “Aye, Confused, there’s a fair bit of clutchery goes on in this place at times. This: “Football is a politico-philosophical…” Jun 15, 14:03