We’re a bit annoyed about this, because we were going to give the Absolute Fanny Of The Week award to Anas Sarwar every week as a joke, but now it seems we can’t.
So that’s a professional journalist who’s studied the Offensive Behaviour (Football) Act, or OBFA, so intently and diligently that he keeps calling it “OBAF” instead. But that’s not the stupidest of it.
The very strange man who is David Leask, chief reporter at the Herald, has been hard at work with a shovel ever since we ran a couple of stories on Monday.
Leask’s argument, at least in so far as we can make any sense of it at all, is that even deliberately and knowingly made-up lies printed in mainstream newspapers are not, and can never be, “fake news”.
That’s a term which he insists only applies to spoof sites pretending to be real news outlets, which we’d presume – although it’s by no means clear – means the likes of The Onion or the Daily Mash.
This is an interesting one. Almost 40 years on from the event, Scottish politics is still plagued by micro-brained Labour types insisting that the SNP “ushered in” Margaret Thatcher after the devolution referendum of 1979 was sabotaged by a Labour MP.
SNP supporters counter that this is complete bollocks, largely because it’s complete bollocks. James Callaghan, the Labour PM at the time, blamed 34 of his own MPs for bringing his government down, by supporting an amendment from Islington South and Finsbury Labour MP George Cunningham which blocked the creation of a Scottish Assembly even though it won the referendum by a narrow margin.
(Cunningham resigned from Labour two years later and subsequently joined the SDP, but in 2012 the Daily Express dragged him out to demand that the same “40% rule” be applied to the indyref.)
History, though, has forgotten someone else who was apparently the true architect of the fix, to the extent that we’d never heard about it until now.
We thought it might be worth going through this in a bit more detail.
The phrase “out of control” is in quote marks in the Herald’s front-page headline, leading readers to believe someone has said it, but who? Let’s investigate.
We’ve got a shock result for the inaugural winner of this exciting new award, readers. Remarkably it’s NOT David Torrance – who wrote an arch review of a chapter of a book about Donald Trump that didn’t actually exist. Good effort, Davey, but no cigar.
No, the first ever Wings Absolute Fanny Of The Week is… Anas Sarwar!
In common with half of Scottish Labour, Sarwar has been raging at Paisley MP Mhairi Black for her “silence” over the closure of a 16-bed children’s ward in the town, which has been replaced by an entire new state-of-the-art 256-bed children’s hospital 10 minutes down the road, right next to the sparkly new Southern General.
But only Sarwar did it by enclosing a picture of the local paper’s front-page splash on the story. In which there was one teeny-weeny slight problem for him.
Remarkably, the notoriously unreliable and yet somehow omnipresent Scottish political commentator and reality-disputer David “Davey” Torrance was still digging last night in the wake of this story from three days ago.
Previous episodes in the series are here. If you’ve got a story like this to tell, or you know anyone who does, Phantom Power want to hear from you – drop them a line.
Late last night in the House Of Commons saw one of the most significant votes in the history of UK constitutional politics. A group of Scottish Tory MPs voted to oppose an amendment which would have protected the central building block of Scottish (and Welsh) devolution – the principle that any powers not explicitly reserved are devolved – from the UK government’s attempted huge power grab under the cover of Brexit.
Last night they could have fixed it by supporting the amendment (backed by every other Scottish MP right across party lines), which would have tipped the arithmetic and ensured its success. Instead they betrayed every voter in Scotland – including their own – by waving the bill through unamended and passing the buck to the unelected House Of Lords, which has no representatives from Scotland’s most popular party.
This morning, BBC Scotland led on the fact that it snowed a bit in Scotland in January.
robertkknight on All The Dirt From My Eyes: “I’m not surprised it doesn’t resonate with the equally deluded and myopic types I imagine you speak to… all regular…” May 28, 04:59
gm on All The Dirt From My Eyes: “Stuart McDonald is down as treasurer. My theory doesnae work then! They couldbae hae been that brassneckit.” May 28, 00:42
Young Lochinvar on All The Dirt From My Eyes: “Izzie & 7.05 Is that, Izzie, the word coming down the line from the top to the party-before-country faithful? What…” May 28, 00:30
gm on All The Dirt From My Eyes: “If someone else had put themselves forward for selection that would look terrible. If no-one else wanted the job then…” May 28, 00:05
sarah on All The Dirt From My Eyes: “I don’t know the facts, I just read somewhere about it. I got the impression that it wasn’t that the…” May 27, 23:51
sarah on Off-topic: “Hello, Peter! The time I saw the goldcrest was from a caravan which was in a wood and was right…” May 27, 23:38
gm on All The Dirt From My Eyes: “Sarah. why on earth would a 70odd yr old man, who has gone through years of stress want to put…” May 27, 23:35
gm on All The Dirt From My Eyes: “I don’t know but many of us were frustrated at the time it was taking and asked the same thing.…” May 27, 23:31
gm on All The Dirt From My Eyes: “Sarah, its strange indeed. I would put money on him retiring was shocked when i saw he was standing again.…” May 27, 23:28
Andrea on All The Dirt From My Eyes: “I tried to leave a comment a couple of hours ago, but it is not there, so I am trying…” May 27, 23:20
sarah on All The Dirt From My Eyes: “It cost him £20,000 to his local branch in order to get the nomination as candidate. Something very, very odd…” May 27, 23:08
Ian Smith on All The Dirt From My Eyes: “Why did Beattie stand again? He’s well past retirement age and clearly a clown. There was a massive likelyhood this…” May 27, 22:29
Hatey McHateface on No Money Back, No Guarantee: “Economists will say anything to avoid being grilled like that boy you were writing about yesterday, Geri. Any sarnies left?” May 27, 22:28
Hatey McHateface on No Money Back, No Guarantee: “Don’t knock being fiddled, Geri, you might have an organism So Maggie killed of the Clyde did she? And there…” May 27, 22:21
Ian Smith on All The Dirt From My Eyes: “Better than the Herald did, just mentioning a ‘website’.” May 27, 22:19
Geri on No Money Back, No Guarantee: “Leading economists say GDP is a pants way to measure a country by because it adds in things like rents…” May 27, 22:15
Hatey McHateface on All The Dirt From My Eyes: “Sounds like Mr Gibson wasn’t paying attention when it was explained to him that a shortfall in the separation of…” May 27, 22:07
Hatey McHateface on No Money Back, No Guarantee: “@Northcode 8:18 Thanks for that rare peep into your personal life and habits, Northy. You’re a sly dog! All this…” May 27, 21:46
Geri on No Money Back, No Guarantee: “Scotland is being fiddled. You can quote all the figures you like. Unless they hand over the full accounts you…” May 27, 21:45
Aidan on No Money Back, No Guarantee: “Yes but we’ve been round this roundabout before, the data was wrong when you published it and now it’s both…” May 27, 21:45
Andrea on All The Dirt From My Eyes: “Slightly OT, but has anyone got any idea why the investigation lasted for so many years and why it took…” May 27, 21:36
Hatey McHateface on All The Dirt From My Eyes: “After hundreds of posts, all hoaching with outright lies, why should we choose to believe your latest one, Geri? I…” May 27, 21:35
Andy Wiltshire on All The Dirt From My Eyes: “This whole business is just one more example of how the institutions of Scotland work nowadays.” May 27, 21:32
Hatey McHateface on All The Dirt From My Eyes: “Havers, Northy. A handful of beads, a mirror or two, and a pint of fire water and you’d be the…” May 27, 21:24
Alf Baird on No Money Back, No Guarantee: “My article identifying ‘the cost of colonialism’ for Scotland was published a couple of years ago and was therefore based…” May 27, 21:18
Bill Scullion on All The Dirt From My Eyes: “I heard Colin Beattie on TV yesterday and he looked like startled deer when asked if perhaps he should have…” May 27, 20:47
Aidan on No Money Back, No Guarantee: “Why would you be using figures from 5-years ago when for at least part of the period the U.K. was…” May 27, 20:45
Northcode on No Money Back, No Guarantee: ““We all know the answer, colonial plunder and economic under-development.” I am convinced by Alf’s argument, which is supported by…” May 27, 20:18
Onlooker on All The Dirt From My Eyes: “We have a precedent. Poe did spend some childhood time in Ayrshire, Nicola’s home gaff, after all. Maybe he’s where…” May 27, 20:17