He popped up on Talk TV last night, explaining how a middle-aged man twerking at a number of very young children – some of whom seemed visibly distressed – during a recent Pride march was fine because maybe the children had asked him to (which they manifestly hadn’t), and anyway it was their parents’ fault that it happened.
And, y’know, readers can make their own judgements about that.
Tuesday’s front page headline in The National was roughly the political equivalent of introducing yourself to your new next-door neighbour by saying “Hi, nice to meet you, I’m Jimmy from No.22 and it definitely wasn’t me who killed your cat last night”.
Humza Yousaf’s great masterplan of an independence strategy is imploding faster than the OceanGate Titan, and scarcely any less disastrously. And unless you’re one of the colleagues, family or friends of the tragic victims on board the doomed vessel, it’s even more painful to watch.
Still wondering what Humza Yousaf’s going to say to the SNP’s pretend “conference” on independence strategy this coming Saturday? Well, wonder no longer, because this morning he told Sky News.
In other words, he’s waving the white flag and praying for a miracle.
According to SNP President and acting CEO Mike Russell, SNP members are too thick to understand the concept of changing their vote, and integrity is “disruptive”.
We’re not very clear on why a revote would be susceptible to “hacking” in any way that the original vote isn’t, but we’re sure there’s a great explanation.
We’ve just been leaked this footage, apparently taken by an alert traveller, of Nicola Sturgeon at Edinburgh Airport, reacting badly to receiving news that Peter Murrell has been “unavoidably detained” and won’t be making their rendezvous to Rio.
The great unknown in the SNP leadership contest is an extremely significant one: who are the voters? Nobody but Peter Murrell really knows how many members the party has, but almost nobody believes the claimed number of over 100,000. (Our guess, based on pretty much nothing but a gut feeling, is 75,000 plus or minus 5000.)
But more to the point, nobody knows who they are. The average member age in most political parties is over 50, and according to figures published in 2019, more than 80% of SNP members are over 40, with half of those being over 60. There’s also an almost 3:2 bias in favour of men.
Humza Yousaf will not be the next First Minister of Scotland. We’re calling it now. His trainwreck of a performance on last night’s leadership election debate on STV dealt a blow to his chances that we can’t see him recovering from, and the SNP establishment is now under such intense scrutiny over the electoral process that the chances of a fix being orchestrated by Peter Murrell are receding fast.
In the debate Yousaf declared that Nicola Sturgeon was the best politician in the UK, that he wasn’t as good as her, and that she’d failed to find a successful strategy for independence and therefore he couldn’t either.
Young Lochinvar on Anything But That: “HMcH @ 12.22 Isn’t this past your bedtime. Apart from having no idea what yer babbling about I will let…” Sep 8, 00:45
Young Lochinvar on Anything But That: “But it wasn’t a shiny new parliament was it? No it was the old English one whose Speaker (unbroken tenure…” Sep 8, 00:33
Hatey McHateface on Anything But That: “Never mind about all that, Auld Lochnagar. How come you’ve never denied that you’ve been secretly giving extra sedatives to…” Sep 8, 00:22
Young Lochinvar on Anything But That: “Fake AI NC That’s what AI would say.. Anyway Bring back the real Northcode, it’s a travesty!!” Sep 8, 00:15
Mark Beggan on Anything But That: “We understand the period. What we don’t understand is why are you wasting time on it in the first place.…” Sep 8, 00:05
Young Lochinvar on Anything But That: “HMcH @ 5.17 Looks like his Hatiness is leaning towards phrenology! What’s to save you eh, running a self confessed…” Sep 7, 23:59
Hatey McHateface on Anything But That: ““I’m not interested in trading insults with anyone” Me neither. I’m giving mine away for free.” Sep 7, 23:42
Mark Beggan on Anything But That: “Northy spent ages building up a good case and you have just destroyed it in two comments. I have never…” Sep 7, 23:31
Hatey McHateface on Anything But That: “Ask Rev Stu if he’ll pass on the details of the supplier where you buy your plastic claymores. You’d have…” Sep 7, 23:27
Northcode on Anything But That: “I’m very much the same Northcode — just discussing the historical and legal record as clearly as I can. Folk…” Sep 7, 23:26
Northcode on Anything But That: “I’m not interested in trading insults with anyone. I’m only here to discuss the historical and legal record as clearly…” Sep 7, 23:19
Mark Beggan on Anything But That: ““and have the right of resistance under international law” You really need to explain what you are going to do…” Sep 7, 23:16
Northcode on Anything But That: “The text you’ve quoted is about private acts and acts of ratification — the kind passed in favour of particular…” Sep 7, 23:13
Hatey McHateface on Anything But That: “Ah, c’moan noo Confused. Dinna pretend ye’re nae partial tae a wee bitty leg hump. Ah mean, fit ither action…” Sep 7, 23:09
Young Lochinvar on Anything But That: “AI (deep fake) NC; “I’m simply keeping the discussion grounded in what (errata- Unionist) historians (sic) and (errata – Unionist)…” Sep 7, 23:08
Confused on Anything But That: “farage is on telly milking the anne widdicombe murder; death by hammers, indeed. (Does anyone know the whereabouts of THOR…” Sep 7, 23:01
Young Lochinvar on Anything But That: “C (for confused dot com ad) “WHO’S THAT WHISTLING!!”” Sep 7, 22:59
Confused on Anything But That: “Keep posting the shite Beggar Boy – we’ll get you a Jim Fixed-Me badge. Another leg-humper, soon to challenge the…” Sep 7, 22:54
agentx on Anything But That: ““Act salvo jure cujuslibet 23 December 1669 Our sovereign lord, taking into consideration that there are many acts of ratification…” Sep 7, 22:53
Hatey McHateface on Anything But That: ““When is international law going to address that outrageous crime instead of empowering it?” Wonderful news, Xaracen! September 2026!! This…” Sep 7, 22:49
Hatey McHateface on Anything But That: “Let me just fix that for you, Northy: “I’ve promoted Doun-Hauden here more than everybody else put together” What’s this…” Sep 7, 22:41
Hatey McHateface on Anything But That: ““voting for or against independence depends on whether you hold to a Scottish or a British identity, which is culturally…” Sep 7, 22:37
Northcode on Anything But That: “Just to keep things clear for readers: Salvo jure cujuslibet is a standard legal reservation clause — essentially a safeguard…” Sep 7, 22:16
Northcode on Anything But That: “I’ve supported Alf Baird’s work for a long time — I’ve promoted Doun-Hauden here more than most, and I’ve consistently…” Sep 7, 21:57
Bilbo on Anything But That: “To be fair, the hospitality industry is on it’s last legs. Even without the increased rates and wage costs, the…” Sep 7, 21:41
Bilbo on Anything But That: “@ Sam I wouldn’t worry about Beggan. Wee shites like him has a big mouth but his bottle completely goes…” Sep 7, 21:35
Mark Beggan on Anything But That: “Is this sovereign citizen? The epidemic of road side lawyers sweeping America. All of them were arrested many were tasered…” Sep 7, 21:33
Bilbo on Anything But That: “@ Hatey I was clumsily trying to make the point about how Westminster is trying to make the UK look…” Sep 7, 21:30
Young Lochinvar on Anything But That: “MB Hmmmm.. Did you write that while still fantasising about politicians mud wrestling??” Sep 7, 21:26
