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The National Embarrassment 156

Posted on October 16, 2023 by

We thought this was overdue an update. It’s got about 16 new front pages on it, one whole new row and a handful of newly-rediscovered replacements. It really is worth taking a few minutes to peruse it properly (click on the pic to enlarge it) to get the full effect of eight wasted years of deja vu disappointment.

It’s not even The National’s fault. They’re a business, they’re simply trying to sell a few papers to a diminishing audience of endlessly gullible eejits. The real fault lies with the halfwitted SNP members who just keep on doggedly failing to learn a single lesson, and repeatedly vote to carry on doing what they know doesn’t work and never will.

Ach weel, as they used to say.

21 days later 77

Posted on October 08, 2023 by

A page 2 “SUNDAY MAIL EXCLUSIVE“ from Hannah “Trannah” Rodger today:

Or if you’re a Wings follower, last month’s news.

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From the archives #16 132

Posted on October 02, 2023 by

Someone tweeted this today:

We were curious to find out what we’d said, but it seems to have been expunged from The National’s website. We eventually managed to track the email down in our vaults, though, so just as a bit of a change, here it is, as a reminder of a different time.

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Infinite Carrot Generator 144

Posted on September 15, 2023 by

The key word here is “DEMAND”.

Because we’ve heard that one before, haven’t we?

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When they tell you who they are 97

Posted on August 30, 2023 by

Wings, a little under two years ago: “there is no “independence movement” any more, just an independence industry“.

And then today:

You should believe them.

A plague of weasels 172

Posted on August 27, 2023 by

Scotland’s biggest cultural problem famously used to be with its alpha males: hard-working, hard-drinking men, often sexist and openly sectarian, with an easy propensity for violence. (The archetype cut right across every social class, from shipyard workers to high-ranking police officers and everywhere between and beyond.)

But times change, and thankfully those characters are now almost entirely a thing of the past. Less happily, though, they’ve simply been replaced by a breed that’s every bit as unpleasant, just in slightly different ways. Readers, meet the Beta Bullies.

Not literally, obviously. Nobody wants that.

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Dead Cat Bouncing 58

Posted on August 24, 2023 by

We know the meanings of words are very flexible these days, especially in the SNP.

But this isn’t our understanding of the term “turning around”:

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Gone Fishin’ 94

Posted on August 08, 2023 by

Look, we know. But there’s no news. Check out the state of it.

“KEYBOARD PLAYER ALLEGEDLY GOT FAT-SHAMED AT SOME UNSPECIFIED POINT IN TIME BY FOURTH-DIVISION BAND WHO LAST HAD A TOP 40 SINGLE IN 2006“ and “CYCLIST GOES TO TOILET”. Front pages.

(The keyboard player now works for SNP pie-disposal unit Anne McLaughlin, ironically, which seems to be the closest relationship the story has with current affairs. But hey, kudos to the Record for beating all the other papers to that “exclusive”.)

We remain alert. If anything remotely worthwhile happens, we’ll be on it.

Fears For Souvenirs 186

Posted on July 26, 2023 by

Allow us to present Exhibit C, if you know what we’re saying.

Won’t someone rid them of this turbulent priest once and for all?

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The Electric Chair 95

Posted on July 21, 2023 by

At least, we assume there was a sizeable current being passed through it, as little else could explain the visibly uncomfortable half-hour experienced by hapless Stonewall chair Iain Anderson with Beth Rigby last night, or the seemingly random changes every few seconds in his facial expressions, body language and accent.

(Just about the only constant, other than his sweating top lip, was the deeply irritating modern phenomenon of stupid people starting every sentence with the word “So…”.)

If you’re a connoisseur of vacuous, nervous awkwardness you’re in for a real treat. If you want to see a human being actually answering any questions with even the tiniest shred of coherence, pertinence or honesty, maybe give it a miss.

News Roundup 212

Posted on July 02, 2023 by

Here are three recent newspaper stories. This one’s from two weeks ago:

A wealthy businessman, related to an SNP MP, is alleged to have donated tens of thousands of pounds in envelopes to the party which it is claimed have unlawfully not been recorded with the Electoral Commission.

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Kiss With A Fist 56

Posted on June 23, 2023 by

We’ve seen some hilarious demands for “unity” in the independence movement in the last couple of years, almost all of them from the most divisive figures ever to wave a wee plastic Saltire (Pete Wishart, Neil Mackay, Wee Ginger Dug etc etc).

But this effort from the SNP’s new airhead mascot takes the shortbread.

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    • Captain Caveman on The Love Of Big Brother: “@GM I don’t agree that this constitutes “foreign ideology” – the likes of the SNP have wholeheartedly made it their…” Oct 3, 17:54
    • gm on The Love Of Big Brother: “Holyrood is a colonial administrative device. I agree with that. it is hardly surprising that they steal their wages and…” Oct 3, 17:29
    • Northcode on In The Eyes Of The Law: “In case it wasn’t clear in my last post, a judicial review can only look at whether the decision-making process…” Oct 3, 17:15
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    • Alf Baird on The Love Of Big Brother: ““Holyrood, is not a place where policy is developed, debated and legislated on in response to public demand for reasons…” Oct 3, 16:35
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    • Bill Cowan on The Love Of Big Brother: “The thing is, with the minimum price on alcohol and the massive discrepancies in price between England and Scotland, it…” Oct 3, 15:39
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    • Patsy Millar on The Love Of Big Brother: “I think our government is now treating ‘1984’ as an instructional document!” Oct 3, 14:51
    • willie on The Love Of Big Brother: “Nutzlose Esser and Lebensunwertes Leben. The next policies for this utterly fascist government. Tried before, will be tried again!” Oct 3, 14:39
    • willie on The Love Of Big Brother: “Utterly fascist in nature and it begs the absolute question as to what right, and by what authority these scum…” Oct 3, 14:35
    • Alf Baird on The Love Of Big Brother: “You can buy 3 ferries for the price of 1, but such practices are banned in SNP la la land:…” Oct 3, 14:20
    • Captain Caveman on The Love Of Big Brother: “I don’t really buy that line of argument. Matters of personal efficiency, effectiveness, productivity and usefulness all seem like very…” Oct 3, 14:19
    • 100%Yes on The Love Of Big Brother: “The SNP has no ideas and because of this we are suffering.” Oct 3, 14:17
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    • gm on The Love Of Big Brother: “They do things like this, in part, because they need to fill their time doing something. Holyrood, is not a…” Oct 3, 14:09
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