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Infinite Carrot Generator 144

Posted on September 15, 2023 by

The key word here is “DEMAND”.

Because we’ve heard that one before, haven’t we?

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When they tell you who they are 97

Posted on August 30, 2023 by

Wings, a little under two years ago: “there is no “independence movement” any more, just an independence industry.

And then today:

You should believe them.

A plague of weasels 172

Posted on August 27, 2023 by

Scotland’s biggest cultural problem famously used to be with its alpha males: hard-working, hard-drinking men, often sexist and openly sectarian, with an easy propensity for violence. (The archetype cut right across every social class, from shipyard workers to high-ranking police officers and everywhere between and beyond.)

But times change, and thankfully those characters are now almost entirely a thing of the past. Less happily, though, they’ve simply been replaced by a breed that’s every bit as unpleasant, just in slightly different ways. Readers, meet the Beta Bullies.

Not literally, obviously. Nobody wants that.

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Dead Cat Bouncing 58

Posted on August 24, 2023 by

We know the meanings of words are very flexible these days, especially in the SNP.

But this isn’t our understanding of the term “turning around”:

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Gone Fishin’ 94

Posted on August 08, 2023 by

Look, we know. But there’s no news. Check out the state of it.

“KEYBOARD PLAYER ALLEGEDLY GOT FAT-SHAMED AT SOME UNSPECIFIED POINT IN TIME BY FOURTH-DIVISION BAND WHO LAST HAD A TOP 40 SINGLE IN 2006 and “CYCLIST GOES TO TOILET”. Front pages.

(The keyboard player now works for SNP pie-disposal unit Anne McLaughlin, ironically, which seems to be the closest relationship the story has with current affairs. But hey, kudos to the Record for beating all the other papers to that “exclusive”.)

We remain alert. If anything remotely worthwhile happens, we’ll be on it.

Fears For Souvenirs 186

Posted on July 26, 2023 by

Allow us to present Exhibit C, if you know what we’re saying.

Won’t someone rid them of this turbulent priest once and for all?

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The Electric Chair 95

Posted on July 21, 2023 by

At least, we assume there was a sizeable current being passed through it, as little else could explain the visibly uncomfortable half-hour experienced by hapless Stonewall chair Iain Anderson with Beth Rigby last night, or the seemingly random changes every few seconds in his facial expressions, body language and accent.

(Just about the only constant, other than his sweating top lip, was the deeply irritating modern phenomenon of stupid people starting every sentence with the word “So…”.)

If you’re a connoisseur of vacuous, nervous awkwardness you’re in for a real treat. If you want to see a human being actually answering any questions with even the tiniest shred of coherence, pertinence or honesty, maybe give it a miss.

News Roundup 212

Posted on July 02, 2023 by

Here are three recent newspaper stories. This one’s from two weeks ago:

A wealthy businessman, related to an SNP MP, is alleged to have donated tens of thousands of pounds in envelopes to the party which it is claimed have unlawfully not been recorded with the Electoral Commission.

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Kiss With A Fist 56

Posted on June 23, 2023 by

We’ve seen some hilarious demands for “unity” in the independence movement in the last couple of years, almost all of them from the most divisive figures ever to wave a wee plastic Saltire (Pete Wishart, Neil Mackay, Wee Ginger Dug etc etc).

But this effort from the SNP’s new airhead mascot takes the shortbread.

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A man hears what he wants to hear 97

Posted on June 16, 2023 by

This quote:

Does not say this:

No matter how much we’re all desperate for a story.

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High on the groundhog 194

Posted on June 01, 2023 by

This is a wretchedly boring time to be writing about politics for a living, readers. Parliamentarians in Edinburgh and London haven’t technically checked out for the summer yet – Holyrood still has a month to go before taking two months off, while Westminster is currently having a couple of weeks off for “Whitsun”, whatever the hell that is, before coming back for a month and a half then sodding off until September.

But really they’re already at the “bringing board games in” stage of term, and both the elected chambers and the media already have their eyes on the beach, which probably explains why we’re being punted drivel like this.

Even if we must afford the graphics team some grudging kudos for the unicoo.

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If you tolerate this 165

Posted on May 12, 2023 by

Below is a clip from last night’s ITV News West Country.

It really needs a wider audience.

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    • Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: “The late, great poet, Alasdair Maclean, wrote that a living culture breathes the pure, fresh air of the landscape that…Jun 15, 08:53
    • Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: “I find consideration of reciprocity interesting. For example, what are the chances of a white Christian becoming president of Pakistan?…Jun 15, 08:37
    • Spartan 117 on Response Level Upgrade: “I’m afraid “culture” extends far beyond football shirts, bagpipes, kilts, getting pished En Masse and making an almighty arse of…Jun 15, 08:20
    • Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: “A trifle harsh, Spartan 117. After all, they are in the USA. That bigly, beautiful plastic shrine to keech created…Jun 15, 08:11
    • Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: “That’s an excellent question, Ex President Xiden. Just yesterday, I was reading an online article about the proposed social media…Jun 15, 08:01
    • Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: ““Never sure why you communicate in just the very occasional Scots word” Because to communicate in all Scots would be…Jun 15, 07:30
    • Confused on Response Level Upgrade: “Ban football? lets ban poetry.Jun 14, 23:53
    • WhoRattledYourCage on Response Level Upgrade: “Never sure why you communicate in just the very occasional Scots word, Alf. I connect that to middle class dolts.…Jun 14, 23:46
    • Ex President Xiden on Response Level Upgrade: “I agree with everything you have said. I would also ask the respondents if they think killing children by the…Jun 14, 23:44
    • WhoRattledYourCage on Response Level Upgrade: “Anytime the trayslapping cunts want to stop colonising themselves with alcohol and stupidity, I might start taking them seriously. Pack…Jun 14, 23:40
    • Alf Baird on Response Level Upgrade: “The World Cup demonstrates that the Scots are indeed ‘a people’ with the right to self-determination and decolonisation, i.e. to…Jun 14, 23:37
    • Spartan 117 on Response Level Upgrade: “Indeed. One concurs. I’m not sure what I cringe more at, the plastic kilted Bravehearts with the bagpipes advertising to…Jun 14, 23:10
    • WhoRattledYourCage on Response Level Upgrade: “Fuck the World Cup. Abject idiocy by morons, for morons. https://whorattledyourcage.blogspot.com/2026/06/state-of-pity-party.htmlJun 14, 22:37
    • Southernbystander on Response Level Upgrade: “It is an interesting question with no easy answers as all simple solutions start to fall apart once you ask…Jun 14, 20:46
    • Dan on Response Level Upgrade: “Robert Hughes comment btl on the Grousebeater article articulates well my thoughts. One could easily piece together a narrative and…Jun 14, 20:34
    • Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Response Level Upgrade: “The grave issue raised here is way beyond any mundane account of high-profile independence proponents not getting on with each…Jun 14, 20:10
    • sam on Response Level Upgrade: “Well said, Dan. Let’s look at how little Ireland fares against the might of the UK as an example of…Jun 14, 20:03
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    • Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: “It’s a straw man right enough. By remaining dogmatically determined that Scotland’s place is as an unimportant Brussels-administered colony on…Jun 14, 19:19
    • BigJay on Response Level Upgrade: “Usually, I can’t stand Euan McColm’s writings in the Scotsman. However, today he has written a decent article about how…Jun 14, 19:07
    • twathater on Response Level Upgrade: ““an independent, free, prosperous and peaceful Scotland remains out of reach.” Because accepting and embracing the denigration and derision handed…Jun 14, 18:00
    • Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: “It’s all so simplistic it reduces the topic to a joke. Far better to ask the respondents if they think…Jun 14, 17:52
    • Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: “Scots, Irish, Basque, Sami, Roma. But not the Jews, obvs. To your typical Scots semi-professional victim, keening by the fire,…Jun 14, 17:40
    • Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: “Confused and his Spanish galleons always raises a smile. The good people of the Americas; Aztecs, Maya, etc. begged the…Jun 14, 17:32
    • Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: “Truths stick in the memory. Turds stick in the U bend. Anybody ken hoo mony short planks equals a Du…Jun 14, 17:14
    • Northcode on Response Level Upgrade: ““Edward Said, however, confirmed that colonialism had already been long since directed at European races…” Thanks for that clarification. You…Jun 14, 17:13
    • Dan on Response Level Upgrade: “It’s all gone a bit Pete Tong hasn’t it… I was just looking at the “Voices for Independence” feed and…Jun 14, 17:09
    • Mark Beggan on Response Level Upgrade: “It started badly, it tailed off a little in the middle and the less said about the end the better,…Jun 14, 15:43
    • Alf Baird on Response Level Upgrade: ““With colonialism the victims were non-Europeans, but with fascism Europeans became the victims.” Crevel’s ‘Murderous Humanitarianism’ (1932) attacked colonialism, capitalism,…Jun 14, 15:22
    • Mark Beggan on Response Level Upgrade: “Nine out of ten cats said they prefer kittekat.Jun 14, 15:19
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