You know how the SNP are always going on about how bad the Tories are and how urgently we need to get rid of them? Well, it turns out they don’t want that to happen for at least a couple of years. They just want a different Tory as Prime Minister, even though they keep telling us that Boris Johnson is the greatest recruiting sergeant for independence there could be.
One might almost imagine that once every Parliament, a drawing of lots is conducted at The Times’ offices in Scotland and the loser is obliged to write this column, on pain of a ceremonial debagging and a jolly good paddling with an old cricket bat from all the other chaps in the newsroom.
Perhaps the fear is playing tricks with Alex Massie’s memory.
We were sent something disturbing recently. It’s from a training course civil servants are being sent on by the Scottish Government.
As you can see, one of the sites that staff are directed to is something called The Trans Language Primer. We thought you should see some of its content.
Even when you’re retired, some things are too journalistically offensive to let pass, such as this piece of absolute garbage we just saw from The National today.
The paper’s anonymous reporter set off all our red warning lights at once.
There was, very obviously, no “indyref2 campaign launch” yesterday, not least for the reason that there is no indyref2. Nothing whatsoever has changed from the situation which has persisted for the last six years, namely that the SNP says it wants another referendum and the UK government says it can’t have one.
There has been no agreement and there has been no legal judgement settling the impasse. No laws have been passed, no date has been set (though a flustered Angus Robertson blurted out something about next October on Good Morning Scotland), no preparations have been made.
While this site remains mothballed, it’s nice to keep a steady trickle of traffic going just in case it ever needs to spring back to life, eg if someone actually interested in independence suddenly somehow becomes leader of the SNP again.
So we thought it might be fun to just briefly link to some old articles as and when they became topical once more, and as luck would have it tomorrow is such an occasion.
Because that’s when the SNP will launch the first of a series of new papers outlining the First Minister’s “vision” of independence by waffling on about how it would be a jolly good thing, in the unlikely event that she ever got off her extremely well-paid arse and achieved it.
Since Wings confirmed its formal closure as a blog there have nevertheless been 19 posts in eight-and-a-half months, comprising a mixture of polls (the site’s remaining purpose), guest posts, admin, a couple of throwaway joke videos and very occasional one-off, polling-related comment pieces on significant occasions like the SNP marking 15 years in power or Nicola Sturgeon becoming the longest-serving First Minister.
So it’s a little bit startling that it’s still – and by a considerable distance – the world’s most-read Scottish politics site.
(In fact, bigger than the next three put together.)
Captain Caveman on Only An Excuse: “Heh, worth a bash. I’m potty about rosemary anyway and grow loads of the stuff, flowering like crazy as we…” May 23, 13:17
Northcode on Only An Excuse: “Guid day tae ye, Geri. Thanks for the hair advice I might give it a try. I’ll let ye ken…” May 23, 13:05
Northcode on Only An Excuse: “Guid day tae ye, Sam. A braw we bit o Scots leid thair – it fair cheered me up.” May 23, 12:55
Alf Baird on Only An Excuse: ““it strikes me that Saturday’s ref may have many decades of solid, competent, uncontroversial service behind him” Indeed, might even…” May 23, 12:47
Geri on Only An Excuse: “Slap some Rosemary oil on yer napper. It’s supposed to be good for stimulating hair growth. The proper recommended strength…” May 23, 12:32
Aidan on Only An Excuse: “@Alf – it’s going to be 23 degrees in Edinburgh this week, do you think the coloniser will allow the…” May 23, 12:23
Aidan on Only An Excuse: “What a load of drivel.” May 23, 12:16
Aidan on Only An Excuse: “Great post Geri – you get em told mate. Did you go to sleep between the post written at 2am…” May 23, 12:13
sam on Only An Excuse: “This is the Sovereignty Act 1606. Still on the bukes. Not a hint of the peeple. Just bowing, scraping and…” May 23, 12:07
Aidan on Only An Excuse: “Northcode however has lost both his hair and his marbles so it’s a double pain, although on the latter I…” May 23, 12:04
sam on Only An Excuse: “Mornin Northcode Up at the screek o’ dawn? My mum always said screagh o’ dawn. But then we used pleugher…” May 23, 12:02
Northcode on Only An Excuse: “I posted this on the off-topic thread by mistake… So here it is again on the correct thread – not…” May 23, 11:58
Northcode on Off-topic: “This from a story by Maybelyn B. Paden for the IBTimes UK: “Donald Trump was accused by Fox News viewers…” May 23, 11:54
sarah on Off-topic: “Make the most of everything. Though easier said than done, I find. However, we’re still here and we’re still speaking…” May 23, 11:33
sarah on Off-topic: “Make the most of everything. Though easier said than done, I find. However, we’re still here and we’re still speaking…” May 23, 11:32
Captain Caveman on Only An Excuse: “I feel your pain, Northy – bald as a coot. Watching the last wisps of my once-great “Bruce Dickinson” stylee…” May 23, 10:47
Northcode on Only An Excuse: “Christ this place is deid. So to pass the time I’ve been pondering the mystery of life on this Earth,…” May 23, 10:31
Tinto Chiel on Off-topic: “Btw, Marie (aka Ginger Rogers), I believe Fred has been two-timing you with Rita Hayworth……… www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbuFLUJ89Kw Men, eh?” May 23, 09:57
Tinto Chiel on Off-topic: “Agree in spades, Marie. As for time, this lady summed it up rather well quite a long time ago: www.youtube.com/watch?v=OkOB57UcYk8…” May 23, 09:46
Geri on Only An Excuse: “YL Aye & did ye notice that nane of his chuntering rubbish was even remotely relevant tae the convo? Just…” May 23, 09:44
Northcode on Only An Excuse: “Outsiders, foreigners, those others, often, if not always, misinterpret Scottish internal criticism as an invitation for external criticism. Inside Scotland…” May 23, 08:53
Hatey McHateface on Only An Excuse: “@ Auld Lochnagar says: 23 May, 2026 at 8:11 am “I’mnogay” Course you’re no! Who said you are? We’ll put…” May 23, 08:46
Hatey McHateface on Only An Excuse: “Ah’ve telt ye afore aboot posting tae early, Aul Lochnagar. Ye divnae hit yer stride until aroond 2 AM. So…” May 23, 08:11
Young Lochinvar on Only An Excuse: “I’mnogay McI’mnogayface @ 7.34 Wi-Fi back up and running in padded cell land and he’s off and chuntering again before…” May 23, 08:11
Xaracen on Only An Excuse: “Hmm, feels more like a vergence in the Force.” May 23, 08:05
Hatey McHateface on The Queer Parliament: “No such thing as a Yoon, Geri. How could there be, when there never was a Union? You really need…” May 23, 07:45
Hatey McHateface on Only An Excuse: “Loving your ongoing linguistic developments, Geri. “fckn” “crms” “Naz” Any chance you could make like the ancient language bods and…” May 23, 07:34
Geri on Only An Excuse: “America is losing its empire because every foreign blow-in with a grudge going back fckn decades were allowed inside their…” May 23, 01:56
Geri on The Queer Parliament: “Shiteface “As our generous host evidences to us week after week after week, Scotland’s malady is tribalism. That leads to…” May 23, 00:23
Young Lochinvar on Only An Excuse: “I’mnogay McI’mnogayface @ 10.43 I shouldn’t even respond but if you have the steely patience to search back through your…” May 23, 00:01