More than a quarter of its Scottish candidates for the forthcoming UK general election actually already hold elected office – nine of them as councillors, four as MSPs, one as an MEP and of course the sole defending member, David Mundell.
(Several of the councillors have only been in their jobs for a matter of a few days and are already looking to scurry off to London for new ones.)
As for the rest, though – and following the discovery that at least two of its council candidates earlier this month had no idea that they were standing – the party’s clearly been doing some more hasty press-ganging.
To be honest we didn’t pay it a lot of heed, assuming that “Scottish fishing industry leaders” just meant Bertie Armstrong again – a longstanding ultra-staunch Unionist and Leave supporter with a track record as a reliable anti-independence rentaquote – and nothing in the coverage led us to believe otherwise.
But then we saw a picture:
Mr Armstrong is the white-haired and bearded chap standing immediately to the right of Davidson in the photo, with his hand on the top corner of her pledge. But who’s the fellow immediately to the left of her?
She’s currently contesting Edinburgh West, which the party has some credible hopes of winning, having held the seat for almost 20 years prior to 2015. And it seems that her former employer has decided to try to give her a helping hand.
And, y’know, they’re really not allowed to do that.
Something really quite strange happened yesterday. The Prime Minister of the United Kingdom was caught red-handed in the act of telling a bare-faced, unarguable lie in the middle of a general election campaign, and nobody cared.
Reacting to the Crown Prosecution Service decision not to prosecute dozens of Tory MPs who’d broken the law in getting elected in 2015, the PM offered up a quote, which was reported in most of the newspapers:
Nice wee bit of snark on “all the major parties, and the Scottish nationalists” there. But there’s a slight problem with the statement, which is that it’s an absolute lie.
In the last few days we’ve been talking a lot about the bizarre perversion of arithmetic that now seems to dominate political campaigning in the UK, and which has the media so tied in knots that the poor Telegraph now thinks nothing of saying the SNP gained council seats, lost them and gained them again in the space of four paragraphs.
But numbers are confusing and we’re very hungry at the moment after some major dental surgery made eating difficult, so we weren’t really paying attention until Ruth Davidson started talking about pies.
Most of the papers today are full of stories screaming hysterically about a (real, but somewhat exaggerated) decline in Scottish educational standards. But if the contents of those papers are anything to go by, Scotland’s schools have been disgorging idiots into the general population for a lot longer than the last 10 years.
He’d very kindly sent us a copy of the same article he’d sent the Beeb. We attach it below. We’ve highlighted in bold the only bits that didn’t make it into the BBC piece.
When our dear old pal the Scottish Labour super-goon Duncan Hothersall tweeted this earlier today, we just couldn’t resist a wee fact-check. We love to see people take the moral high ground, but numbers are fluid these days and you can’t be too careful.
Willie on Push The Button: “The charges relate to three incidents: a vehicle fire in Kentish Town, a fire at the prime minister’s private home…” Apr 27, 22:52
TimePilot on Push The Button: “You are missing the point of what is otherwise a straighforward rational logic puzzle by imprinting it with your own…” Apr 27, 22:30
Alf Baird on Push The Button: ““oddball ragtag of misfit Yoons” The colonialists aye noo suffer fae anxiety near every Scottish election, because they ken fine…” Apr 27, 22:01
Southernbystander on Push The Button: “It was and I’m a Ronnie fan. Great match and Higgins came on really good towards the end of the…” Apr 27, 19:44
Dan on Push The Button: “CC says: “B.O. that could make a grown man weep – and breath that could strip the fur from a…” Apr 27, 19:23
agentx on Push The Button: “Great win by the “Wizard of Wishaw” today 🙂” Apr 27, 19:23
Lorncal on Push The Button: “I meant that ‘suicidal empathy’ must be excised, not liberalism and tolerance. The ‘suicidally empathetic’ regard all old-style liberals (small…” Apr 27, 19:18
Lorncal on Push The Button: “All the -isms do that, Captain: Capitalism, Socialism, Communism, Stalinism, Maoism, Nationalism, Britishism, Americanism… They all demand that we make…” Apr 27, 19:12
sarah on Push The Button: “Rev, we need a reprint of the Wee Blue Book so that all the people who couldn’t vote because under…” Apr 27, 18:59
James on Push The Button: “Adrian; see post above, petal. Away back to your glossy mag.” Apr 27, 18:52
Captain Caveman on Push The Button: “Exactly Aidan, maybe “more to be pitied than scorned”. He hasn’t exactly been spoilt has he? Penniless, porcine, B.O. that…” Apr 27, 18:52
Lorncal on Push The Button: “‘Suicidal empathy’, Confused is almost entirely the preserve of the middle class/political class and is not bull of any kind.…” Apr 27, 18:50
Aidan on Push The Button: “Exactly CC – the whole time I’ve been posting I don’t think I’ve seen “James” post a substantive comment or…” Apr 27, 18:31
James on Push The Button: “There’s a phrase…..what is it again…..? Oh aye; “Away and take a flying fuck to yourself”. Next.” Apr 27, 18:25
Grog on Push The Button: “No I meant if your statistical confidence in the blue vote being between 78-82% was 99% let’s say. That isn’t…” Apr 27, 18:12
Sven on Push The Button: ““Who would press it ?” Probably the same people who have to test, “Wet Paint, don’t touch” signs and stroll…” Apr 27, 18:09
Northcode on Push The Button: “I am cancelled… by a unionist here whose sparkling wit I have long admired! Yes, folks, set aside my heavy…” Apr 27, 18:02
Mark Beggan on Push The Button: “I think this question could have been made a lot easier if there was just one button saying: Do Not…” Apr 27, 17:35
Captain Caveman on Push The Button: “Yeah…. as opposed to you randomly spouting “Prick” in response to posts, eh Fatso. I’m sure we’re all in awe…” Apr 27, 17:31
Hatey McHateface on Push The Button: “@Aidan Relax. They’d deploy the F16s. They’d never get aff the groond!” Apr 27, 16:31
James on Push The Button: “The comments section on Wings is poor with the repetive, accumulated shite from the likes of Chas, Adrian, Wilma Flintstone…” Apr 27, 16:28
James Che on Push The Button: “Now we know that the UN is not independent as it claims to be, and it will never be allowed…” Apr 27, 16:23
James Che on Push The Button: “Not a rational thinker I note, having difficulties achieving thinking links that join a to b and b to c,…” Apr 27, 16:03
Hatey McHateface on Push The Button: ““There’s no objective evidence that being alive is better than being dead” I believe the Romans had a saying that…” Apr 27, 16:00
Hatey McHateface on Push The Button: “Occam’s Razor says it’s because Independence is but a matter of weeks or months away at most. 7th May. That’s…” Apr 27, 15:53
Athanasius on Push The Button: “You accept it as a foundational assumption. There’s no objective evidence that being alive is better than being dead, but…” Apr 27, 15:20
Hatey McHateface on Push The Button: ““Socialist Norway is one of the richest countries in Europe and regularly voted one of the best countries in the…” Apr 27, 15:19
Chas on Push The Button: “The comments section on Wings is poor with the repetive, accumulated shite from the likes of Northclown, Baird, Confusused etc…” Apr 27, 15:15
Hatey McHateface on Push The Button: ““This is not a black and white dilemma” No, it’s a red and blue dilemma. That means there’s a great…” Apr 27, 14:22
Hatey McHateface on Push The Button: “There are more Scots with their hands out grifting than there are with their hands dirty, grafting. But then you…” Apr 27, 14:12