Fair play to The National, the use of the word “HIS” in this banner on their front page today might be the single funniest thing ever printed by a Scottish newspaper.
Because everyone and his dug in Scotland knows whose strategy it actually is, and how many years Pete Wishart spent traducing it as nonsense and furiously venting his overworked spleen at anyone who advocated it – right up to the point where Nicola Sturgeon adopted it in a desperate last attempt to keep the indy faithful pushing the SNP gravy bus, at which point it became the greatest masterplan of all time.
But today’s piece in the indy equivalent of the Daily Express (albeit with only a tenth of the sales) is so jawdropping that we doubt even Robert Oppenheimer would be up to the job of putting a scorchmark on Wishart’s brass neck, so let’s spend five minutes having a look at it before we go out for a bit of sunshine.
The reality-TV let’s say “personality” Kelly Given – who Wings readers previously met on a trip to New York for Tartan Week with a raft of SNP let’s say “celebrities” a couple of months ago – has been off on another nice holiday.
Last night she told both the viewers of BBC Scotland’s “Seven Days” that she’d just spent three weeks on an island in Greece, where apparently she was quite shocked to discover that the Mediterranean nation was hot in July.
When Humza Yousaf was campaigning to be elected leader of the SNP, he pledged that he would be not only the First Minister, but also the “First Activist”. It transpired that this in fact meant chapping a few doors in Dundee, just down the road from his home in Broughty Ferry (and on the way to his Glasgow constituency).
But what might a real “First Activist” have done with the position and power?
While idly browsing Twitter this morning, we made a startling discovery triggered by the SNP leadership election, and it was this: nobody in Scotland really knows what the nation’s law on abortion is.
It was prompted by these two tweets, both of which appear to be true:
The thing they agree on is that Humza Yousaf has just declared that he wants to change the law around abortion so that women can abort babies in Scotland solely on the grounds that they don’t like which sex they are. And that seems like something that should probably be bigger news.
The recently-restored Wings Twitter account has a little over 56,000 followers, the vast bulk of them accumulated at a time when this site had far less reason to criticise the SNP or the Scottish Government. So while this poll isn’t scientific, the indy-friendly nature of the respondent base makes it pretty interesting.
Those numbers closely mirror what every actual proper poll tells us about Scottish people’s opinion of the GRR itself – they oppose it by margins of between 3:1 and 4:1. So if the Scottish Government is counting on the UK’s intervention to increase support for independence, frankly it looks like they’re onto a massive loser.
…by which we mean “IQs in the history of the Scottish Parliament”.
Put a cushion on your desk before you start listening to this, gang, or you might hurt your jaw. Because surely nobody quite as paralysingly, catastrophically thick as this clueless, bumbling, deranged and dangerous imbecile has ever been allowed to make the laws of Scotland before. We wouldn’t let her make orange squash, to be honest.
And yes, we’re including Kezia Dugdale and Jamie Greene in that reckoning.
A few months ago, we all had a good chuckle at Pete Wishart’s screeching 180-degree turn on the subject of using a plebiscitary election for independence, a strategy which switched overnight from “suicidal, disastrous fringe lunacy with no hope of success” to “genius plan Nicola herself came up with”.
But after that crude ad-hoc field patch, we’re delighted to be able to report that Pete has submitted himself to SNP HQ for a full operating system update and is now fully compliant with the New Truth.
The newest Panelbase poll, which shows a narrow lead for independence, was an “omnibus” one with questions provided by multiple clients, including Wings and the Sunday Times. The questions we’re about to show you were asked by the ST rather than ourselves, but their results are deeply disturbing on multiple levels.
The first one is perhaps predictable but still unsettling. (Click all pics to enlarge.)
A huge 2:1 majority of Scots believe the Scottish Government’s proposed new “gender recognition” laws pose a safety risk to women. Tory voters think so by almost 9:1, Lib Dem voters by almost 6:1, and Labour voters by nearly 2:1.
That can only partly be explained away by partisan party loyalty – Labour and the Liberal Democrats both support the bill, but their own voters are still strongly against. More noteworthy is the fact that (excluding Don’t Knows) even slavishly loyal SNP voters agree with the statement by a smaller but still clear 12-point margin, 56 to 44.
So let’s say it unambiguously: most SNP voters think the SNP’s gender reforms pose a danger to women’s safety.
Yesterday we watched the first day’s proceedings of For Women Scotland taking the Scottish Government to court over its definition of what a woman is.
The topic is really very niche but will affect us all if the judge rules for the government (we won’t know the outcome for at least a month or two), so here’s the short version of what it’s all about.
I am greatly honoured to have been targeted for censorship in the same weekend as two great artists as rightly esteemed as Salman Rushdie and Jerry Sadowitz. (Though thankful to have not yet been violently physically attacked for my views, as both have.)
To be honest, I was amazed my most recent Twitter account lasted three months. I set it up in May for the sole purpose of a throwaway rude reply to Darren “Loki” McGarvey and Kenny Farquharson of The Times, expecting it to be banned within hours, then somehow it had thousands of followers and I figured I might as well have a bit of fun with it for however long it lasted against the barrage of shrieking outrage and mass organised complaints from the SNP Twitler Youth.
Which turned out to be until Saturday night.
Twitter has declined to identify who I supposedly incited the harassment of, or to offer any examples of the offending tweets. Obviously I did no such thing, but it’s good to know that “in order to ensure that people feel safe expressing diverse opinions and beliefs on our platform”, only some opinions and beliefs may be expressed.
Mark Beggan on Response Level Upgrade: “The march to Fenway park is now part of Bostonian folklore.” Jun 15, 23:34
Cynicus on Response Level Upgrade: ““ Boston has just been colonized” ======= No Scotland, No (Tea) Party?” Jun 15, 23:18
Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: “You have to understand, Wally Walrus, that not everybody is like you. Not everybody is larded with a thick layer…” Jun 15, 22:47
Mark Beggan on Response Level Upgrade: “Boston has just been colonized. The American ladies just love those kilts.” Jun 15, 22:12
James on Response Level Upgrade: “Wasting your time with these comedians, Dan. Why let the truth get in the way of a couple of shite…” Jun 15, 21:59
Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: “You get it! The only flaw I can see in the entire scheme, and it’s a flaw of infinitesimal probability,…” Jun 15, 21:10
Southernbystander on Response Level Upgrade: “Especially if nearly all the players were English. It cannot fail as it would unite virtually every Scot on the…” Jun 15, 20:34
Mark Beggan on Response Level Upgrade: “@Hatey You’ve been hanging around with the wrong people.” Jun 15, 19:40
Mark Beggan on Response Level Upgrade: “It’s all unraveling. One step at a time.” Jun 15, 19:22
Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: “I don’t think you’re getting it, Mark. It may seem counter intuitive, but any Scot determined on Indy should be…” Jun 15, 19:20
Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: “But she’s already forgotten doing it.” Jun 15, 19:15
Mark Beggan on Response Level Upgrade: “Nicola Sturgeon has changed her pronouns to Him not Me.” Jun 15, 18:53
Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: “Perhaps not immediate. Let’s get the World Cup over with first.” Jun 15, 18:47
Mark Beggan on Response Level Upgrade: “They tried that with Team GB, went down like a Tranny in woman’s changing room.” Jun 15, 17:23
agentx on Response Level Upgrade: “After the Court decision today there should be an IMMEDIATE BAN ON GAY COUPLES adopting children.” Jun 15, 17:21
Confused on Response Level Upgrade: “Much as I have no interest in the rosbifs winning anything, I know a bit (too much) about english football;…” Jun 15, 17:10
Ebok on Response Level Upgrade: “Service Adviser 19(89)84(7)? SNP left me in 2016 and has done so to ever increasing numbers of its members since…” Jun 15, 16:47
Spartan 117 on Response Level Upgrade: “I also played midfield briefly in my 20s, for whatever relevance that is. I’ve nothing against Fitba’ and wish our…” Jun 15, 15:30
Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: “The “cup marks” the Picts left on their sacred and symbolic liths were pictorial representations of winning set piece tactics.…” Jun 15, 14:59
Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: “If you’re saying that Scottish culture consists of cash-strapped Scots scrimping and doing without to richly reward prima donnas, their…” Jun 15, 14:51
Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: “Good one, Northy. Football is like politics right enough. A zero sum game. One side is victorious, the other is…” Jun 15, 14:35
Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: “How many years (and how many World Cups) is it since I twigged that your typical self-identifying Indy supporter would…” Jun 15, 14:27
Southernbystander on Response Level Upgrade: “The English stopped believing the England team are just an underachieving heavyweight long, long before 2014, like when the team…” Jun 15, 14:27
Northcode on Response Level Upgrade: “Albert Einstein (yes, really) — played as a youth in Munich Einstein wasn’t a competitive player, but he did play…” Jun 15, 14:17
Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: ““The Scottish accent is the most trusted in the world” Of course, it can only be trusted where it is…” Jun 15, 14:14
Alf Baird on Response Level Upgrade: “All you folks seek to do is de-base Scottish culture. But we know, ‘that is how colonialism works, by de-basing…” Jun 15, 14:12
Captain Caveman on Response Level Upgrade: “Yawn. More verbose, witless, irrelevant drivel. My original comment stands. You bore me beyond belief.” Jun 15, 14:05
Northcode on Response Level Upgrade: “Aye, Confused, there’s a fair bit of clutchery goes on in this place at times. This: “Football is a politico-philosophical…” Jun 15, 14:03