Fair play to The National, the use of the word “HIS” in this banner on their front page today might be the single funniest thing ever printed by a Scottish newspaper.
Because everyone and his dug in Scotland knows whose strategy it actually is, and how many years Pete Wishart spent traducing it as nonsense and furiously venting his overworked spleen at anyone who advocated it – right up to the point where Nicola Sturgeon adopted it in a desperate last attempt to keep the indy faithful pushing the SNP gravy bus, at which point it became the greatest masterplan of all time.
But today’s piece in the indy equivalent of the Daily Express (albeit with only a tenth of the sales) is so jawdropping that we doubt even Robert Oppenheimer would be up to the job of putting a scorchmark on Wishart’s brass neck, so let’s spend five minutes having a look at it before we go out for a bit of sunshine.
The reality-TV let’s say “personality” Kelly Given – who Wings readers previously met on a trip to New York for Tartan Week with a raft of SNP let’s say “celebrities” a couple of months ago – has been off on another nice holiday.
Last night she told both the viewers of BBC Scotland’s “Seven Days” that she’d just spent three weeks on an island in Greece, where apparently she was quite shocked to discover that the Mediterranean nation was hot in July.
When Humza Yousaf was campaigning to be elected leader of the SNP, he pledged that he would be not only the First Minister, but also the “First Activist”. It transpired that this in fact meant chapping a few doors in Dundee, just down the road from his home in Broughty Ferry (and on the way to his Glasgow constituency).
But what might a real “First Activist” have done with the position and power?
While idly browsing Twitter this morning, we made a startling discovery triggered by the SNP leadership election, and it was this: nobody in Scotland really knows what the nation’s law on abortion is.
It was prompted by these two tweets, both of which appear to be true:
The thing they agree on is that Humza Yousaf has just declared that he wants to change the law around abortion so that women can abort babies in Scotland solely on the grounds that they don’t like which sex they are. And that seems like something that should probably be bigger news.
The recently-restored Wings Twitter account has a little over 56,000 followers, the vast bulk of them accumulated at a time when this site had far less reason to criticise the SNP or the Scottish Government. So while this poll isn’t scientific, the indy-friendly nature of the respondent base makes it pretty interesting.
Those numbers closely mirror what every actual proper poll tells us about Scottish people’s opinion of the GRR itself – they oppose it by margins of between 3:1 and 4:1. So if the Scottish Government is counting on the UK’s intervention to increase support for independence, frankly it looks like they’re onto a massive loser.
…by which we mean “IQs in the history of the Scottish Parliament”.
Put a cushion on your desk before you start listening to this, gang, or you might hurt your jaw. Because surely nobody quite as paralysingly, catastrophically thick as this clueless, bumbling, deranged and dangerous imbecile has ever been allowed to make the laws of Scotland before. We wouldn’t let her make orange squash, to be honest.
And yes, we’re including Kezia Dugdale and Jamie Greene in that reckoning.
A few months ago, we all had a good chuckle at Pete Wishart’s screeching 180-degree turn on the subject of using a plebiscitary election for independence, a strategy which switched overnight from “suicidal, disastrous fringe lunacy with no hope of success” to “genius plan Nicola herself came up with”.
But after that crude ad-hoc field patch, we’re delighted to be able to report that Pete has submitted himself to SNP HQ for a full operating system update and is now fully compliant with the New Truth.
The newest Panelbase poll, which shows a narrow lead for independence, was an “omnibus” one with questions provided by multiple clients, including Wings and the Sunday Times. The questions we’re about to show you were asked by the ST rather than ourselves, but their results are deeply disturbing on multiple levels.
The first one is perhaps predictable but still unsettling. (Click all pics to enlarge.)
A huge 2:1 majority of Scots believe the Scottish Government’s proposed new “gender recognition” laws pose a safety risk to women. Tory voters think so by almost 9:1, Lib Dem voters by almost 6:1, and Labour voters by nearly 2:1.
That can only partly be explained away by partisan party loyalty – Labour and the Liberal Democrats both support the bill, but their own voters are still strongly against. More noteworthy is the fact that (excluding Don’t Knows) even slavishly loyal SNP voters agree with the statement by a smaller but still clear 12-point margin, 56 to 44.
So let’s say it unambiguously: most SNP voters think the SNP’s gender reforms pose a danger to women’s safety.
Yesterday we watched the first day’s proceedings of For Women Scotland taking the Scottish Government to court over its definition of what a woman is.
The topic is really very niche but will affect us all if the judge rules for the government (we won’t know the outcome for at least a month or two), so here’s the short version of what it’s all about.
I am greatly honoured to have been targeted for censorship in the same weekend as two great artists as rightly esteemed as Salman Rushdie and Jerry Sadowitz. (Though thankful to have not yet been violently physically attacked for my views, as both have.)
To be honest, I was amazed my most recent Twitter account lasted three months. I set it up in May for the sole purpose of a throwaway rude reply to Darren “Loki” McGarvey and Kenny Farquharson of The Times, expecting it to be banned within hours, then somehow it had thousands of followers and I figured I might as well have a bit of fun with it for however long it lasted against the barrage of shrieking outrage and mass organised complaints from the SNP Twitler Youth.
Which turned out to be until Saturday night.
Twitter has declined to identify who I supposedly incited the harassment of, or to offer any examples of the offending tweets. Obviously I did no such thing, but it’s good to know that “in order to ensure that people feel safe expressing diverse opinions and beliefs on our platform”, only some opinions and beliefs may be expressed.
Dan on The Land Of No Laws: “FFS, moderation filter strikes again. I’ll repost as 5ettler Stu never did clear my previous posts that got held in…” May 21, 08:46
sam on The Queer Parliament: “Employment Tribunal case reported on by Tribunal Tweets. Lorna Young v Manchester City Council. The case has been part heard…” May 21, 08:46
Captain Caveman on The Land Of No Laws: ““Dictionaries are useful for correct spellings, but often lack the depth and full meaning behind the words they define.” Oh…” May 21, 08:15
Aidan on The Land Of No Laws: “Will you one day, Geri, share your sources for all of this apparent wisdom and knowledge you have which is…” May 21, 07:36
sarah on The Queer Parliament: “Someone btl said that India doesn’t permit its citizens to stand in another country’s elections. Can we ask the Indian…” May 20, 23:59
Geri on The Queer Parliament: “Exactly. I wrote a post saying basically the same but the gremlins ran away with it. Holyrood is an English…” May 20, 23:31
Alf Baird on The Queer Parliament: “Northcode is right, the only remedy for colonisation is liberation. Everything else is just ‘noise’.” May 20, 22:40
Geri on The Land Of No Laws: “The UK is becoming Totalitarian on two fronts & they’re both connected. Gender ideology & Z ideology. Permeating into every…” May 20, 22:21
jock on The Queer Parliament: “Dugdale, chair of Stonewall, is married to the depute FM. Surely a conflict of interest?” May 20, 22:15
Mark Beggan on The Queer Parliament: “Aye Hatey. Northy’s Brave New World. Even the martians got sick of listening to it.” May 20, 22:04
Rob on The Queer Parliament: “Folk are missing the main point with the two main dodgy characters the greens put in. It is not their…” May 20, 22:01
Red on The Queer Parliament: “We need mass deportations of the Green Party and their idiot supporters. No reason at all why Scots should tolerate…” May 20, 21:39
Northcode on The Land Of No Laws: “What utter piss poor sophistry. Laughable. It’s probably a good idea to take a look at the formal dictionary definition…” May 20, 21:30
Hatey McHateface on The Queer Parliament: “That final sentence. Harsh but fair. Anybody think this new HR 5-year sentence just commenced will impoverish Scots to such…” May 20, 21:10
Alf Baird on The Queer Parliament: ““the UN should step in to break up the UK” That may be wishful thinking, tho international laws on ‘a…” May 20, 21:08
Lorncal on The Queer Parliament: “Twathater: that was always my own misgiving, that views such as Craig Murray’s and others’ would undermine the ‘independence only’…” May 20, 21:06
sam on The Queer Parliament: “Since you ask, Alf, (you probably know already) the answer is yes. Funding education in schools, supporting conversion therapy ban” May 20, 21:05
Hatey McHateface on The Queer Parliament: “Didn’t he live in a hole in the ground too? But please cut Northy some slack. He’s provided us with…” May 20, 21:05
Hatey McHateface on The Queer Parliament: “You forgot to say that only you can see them, Geri. Oh, and the biolabs. You forgot them too.” May 20, 20:58
Hatey McHateface on The Queer Parliament: “@Lorncal I’m afraid you’re wrong and CC is right. We need our own Trump to move fast and break things.…” May 20, 20:48
Geri on The Queer Parliament: “They’re there working in the background. The Clinton’s established a network of disrupters from all over the world that are…” May 20, 20:44
Mark Beggan on The Queer Parliament: “You remind me of the infantry man in Jeff Waynes War of the Worlds.” May 20, 20:34
Geri on The Land Of No Laws: “AI Dan Get over yersel. The GCC, that you apparently love, are authoritarian monarchies, have awful human rights records &…” May 20, 20:23
Captain Caveman on The Land Of No Laws: ““It’s something we see often with you lot… must be an English thing to gang up thegither and bully folk…” May 20, 19:59
John McNab on The Queer Parliament: “The reference in the opening excerpt from ‘Trainspotting’ to no more guys or girls, just wankers, was first aired in…” May 20, 19:51
Geri on The Queer Parliament: “The death cult brings censorship, sweeping changes to the law, population control & snoopers charter. Colonisers love division. It takes…” May 20, 19:37
Northcode on The Queer Parliament: “Here’s a plan… Scotland and the indigenous Scots can’t change a single thing about their government, their country, or their…” May 20, 19:27
Captain Caveman on The Queer Parliament: ““However, let’s not crow too soon, because far right is just as bad as far left, so we need the…” May 20, 19:20
Northcode on The Land Of No Laws: ““Well that’s interesting Northcode, because above Geri stated that this country was in fact a democracy.” Yes, Geri did state…” May 20, 19:17