Blue-haired brain vacuum Kirsty Blackman in Westminster yesterday, during the SNP’s big showpiece “let’s pretend we’re doing something about independence” debate.
So presumably she’s made it a priority since being elected seven years ago, right?
As well as being the Director of the John Smith Policy Centre (a job with no known responsibilities but which nevertheless pays around the same as being an MSP making laws in the Scottish Parliament) she writes regular columns in The Times and The Courier and is now, hilariously, the new Professor of Practice in Public Service in Glasgow University.
(A post with unspecified duties and unknown salary and which was also not, as far as anyone can tell, ever publicly advertised.)
We were bored so we thought we’d find out, via Panelbase, if her latest lucrative role was perhaps the result of a noticeably impressive performance in the first one.
A year and a quarter ago, we contrasted the performance of the SNP’s last two leaders in terms of building support for independence. As the First Minister crows about how much better she’s been at staying in power than a succession of UK leaders, it seems only proper to bring the stats up to date.
Do you remember, readers, how the next UK election was supposed to be a single-issue de facto referendum on independence if the Supreme Court ruled Holyrood didn’t have the power to hold one itself?
Well, it appears that policy has been abruptly and quietly ditched.
Because just a couple of hours ago SNP Westminster leader Ian Blackford told BBC News that “I can assure you” the SNP “will have a growth manifesto” for the whole UK whenever the next election comes around, because in his view the UK economy hasn’t been growing enough for the last few decades and the SNP would have a plan to fix it. Because apparently fixing the UK is the SNP’s purpose now.
Guess we better hope for a good result from the Supreme Court, then.
Between recesses and the mourning period for the Queen, the UK Parliament has been sitting for just four weeks since the 1st of July this year.
In that time the government has somehow managed to lose three Chancellors Of The Exchequer and is about to engage its fourth in the alarming form of Jeremy Hunt, a man whose primary claim to fame and utility to the UK is as rhyming slang.
Sometimes even fools and liars and charlatans speak the truth.
Thing is, we rather liked it when the horses south of the border were frightened. Things happened in those days. But to coin a phrase, those days are past now.
Honestly, readers, swear to God, all joking and sarcasm aside, when we saw this tweet yesterday we were wondering how on Earth some clever satirist had managed to hack Anas Sarwar’s account to insert the screenshot into it.
Because we didn’t believe that even Scottish Labour’s low-watt-bulb of a branch manager would willingly post something that made him look so much of an imbecile.
Because the SNP are now openly, publicly telling you that they’re never going to achieve independence for Scotland, nor even make any meaningful attempt at it.
Young Lochinvar on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Horton and Denton by election. Green Party leader Zak Polanski told news reporters that “there aren’t any no- go areas”…” Feb 27, 15:54
Geri on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Give it up, Shiteface. Nothing, & I mean NOTHING, trumps the Eppy files & the people behind all of it.…” Feb 27, 15:48
Hatey McHateface on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Quantity AND quality, Alf. Big Scottish election coming up in May. Will set the path for Scotland’s governance for the…” Feb 27, 15:36
Hatey McHateface on The Tactics Of Suicide: ““make the declaration of Arbroath a modern reality, without death” Just so long as we can still totally destroy the…” Feb 27, 15:30
Alf Baird on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Jings, 25 oot o 85 commends here fae yer guid sel sae faur, Hatey ower Scotlan. Yer daein awfu weel,…” Feb 27, 15:22
Young Lochinvar on The Tactics Of Suicide: “I see Churchill’s statue in Lahndun (variously described back in the day as either looking like a turtle or Mussolini-…” Feb 27, 15:03
Hatey McHateface on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Game on AND game over, Geri. Michty! Hoo’s the F16s these days? Tires worn oot frae all the taxiing aboot?…” Feb 27, 14:46
Cynicus on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Geri says: 27 February, 2026 at 2:10 pm A. I am glad we can agree that. But surely you are…” Feb 27, 14:43
Jamie on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Reform are going to do well in both elections with or without Scottish Patriot support. The time is now to…” Feb 27, 14:40
Hatey McHateface on The Tactics Of Suicide: ““STOAP”, Northy. If you want to write colloquially, you have to be prepared to adjust the spelling so that readers…” Feb 27, 14:14
Geri on The Tactics Of Suicide: “A. Its a Republic. Another would take over. Haven’t the neocons learnt that by now? Even if TACO doesn’t reverse.…” Feb 27, 14:10
Hatey McHateface on The Tactics Of Suicide: “A return to true form from Confused. Say what you like about the Jews, but they don’t drive cars into…” Feb 27, 14:01
Northcode on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Every time… NOO, adv. Also nou, nu (Abd. 1829 A. Cruickshank Poems 34; Sh. 1914 Angus Gl.). Gen. (exc. s.)…” Feb 27, 13:54
Northcode on The Tactics Of Suicide: ““I don’t like to mention it, Northy…” Then why mention it… ye prick (I don’t think of you as a…” Feb 27, 13:47
Confused on The Tactics Of Suicide: “In our multi party voting systems you get 3-4 parties with around 20-30 percent support and they argue fiercely about…” Feb 27, 13:43
Hatey McHateface on The Tactics Of Suicide: “C’moan noo, Sven. It’s a classic example of the Scottish Cringe. There’s not one of us who hasn’t been thoroughly…” Feb 27, 13:06
Sven on The Tactics Of Suicide: “I don’t like to mention it, Northy, however the only “pedantic prick”, (i don’t think of you as such and…” Feb 27, 12:54
Hatey McHateface on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Seeing as how you mention it, Northy, if you intend to abbreviate “fucking” to “fuckin'”, then you need to be…” Feb 27, 12:50
Hatey McHateface on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Looks like there was quite a bit of electoral fraud going on, x. Par for the course in these constituencies.…” Feb 27, 12:18
Hatey McHateface on The Tactics Of Suicide: “If you can’t keep up your Scots to the end of your post, Northy, surely it’s unreasonable to expect Scots…” Feb 27, 12:15
Northcode on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Correction (before some cunt whines aboot it): ‘excusive’ should read ‘ exclusive’. Nou fuck aff the lot o ye, ye…” Feb 27, 12:10
Northcode on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Nou the poleetics o Scotlan’ be the poleetics o Ingland cleithed i’ ill-suitit tairtan custume… and thae hauds sma chairm…” Feb 27, 11:56
agentx on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Gorton & Denton results Green Party – 14,980 – 40.7% Reform UK – 10,578 – 28.7% Labour Party – 9,364…” Feb 27, 11:43
TURABDIN on The Tactics Of Suicide: “ACCORDING to the Times of India her Urdu stretches as far as hello, goodbye, vote green and ramadhan mubarak, which…” Feb 27, 11:26
robertkknight on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Funny how certain folk talk about list votes and voting SNP versus unionist… How can people still think there’s a…” Feb 27, 11:20
Hatey McHateface on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Indeed, Alf. Beats me why nobody has ever painted that on the side of a bus. Indy would be an…” Feb 27, 11:14
TURABDIN on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Evidently England is nearing its existential Beachy Head. Scotland might enjoy the view, chained to its «partner», before tumbling into…..…” Feb 27, 11:01
Alf Baird on The Tactics Of Suicide: ““…it’s Scotland which is subsidising England to the tune of £150 billion each and every year..” Yes indeed, the UK…” Feb 27, 10:39