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A revealing turn of phrase 79

Posted on March 25, 2015 by

From an editorial leader in this week’s London Evening Standard:

“The man likely to lead the SNP in Westminster, former party leader Alex Salmond, has made it clear that he is contemplating keeping a minority Labour government in power on a case by case basis. ‘If you hold the balance, then you hold the power,’ he said yesterday.

His price: an end to austerity and to Trident.

Labour leader Ed Miliband has come out fighting against the threat.

Seems to sum it up pretty well.

We are the 99.982% 52

Posted on March 25, 2015 by

An alert reader pointed us to this edition of Newsnight we’d missed earlier this month, featuring the renowned Conservative Party chairman and liar Grant Shapps MP.

The population of the UK, according to the 2011 census, is 63,128,000. Shapps just told us he only cares about 11,200 of them (or 0.018%), because apparently those are all the votes the Tories need to turn round to secure an absolute majority in May’s general election. We very much doubt that any of the 23 target constituences he mentions, across which the required 11,200 votes are spread, are in Scotland.

And that, readers, is what the Tories (and, for that matter, Labour) really think of “the democratic will of the British people”. You may want to keep it in mind when you vote.

A fundamental misunderstanding 118

Posted on March 25, 2015 by

Because almost nobody in Westminster, whether they’re politicians or the media, ever pays any attention to anything outside SW1A, Alex Salmond’s comment in London yesterday that the SNP would vote against any Tory government in the event of a hung Parliament – which to any Scottish person was news as surprising as a weather forecast for rain – has been greeted with seemingly-genuine shock and horror.

snpthreat

Reporter after reporter has treated the non-revelations (which have been official SNP policy for as long as we can remember, and were stated explicitly by Nicola Sturgeon in November) as a stunning bolt from the blue, and Tory politicians and the right-wing media alike have burst into frothing, spluttering rage, based on the fact that apparently none of them grasps how either the UK electoral system or basic arithmetic work.

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Planet of the twin Suns 87

Posted on March 25, 2015 by

We’re still not tired of these.

thesuns

Although we can’t help thinking that maybe internal email is the more appropriate medium for resolving this particular workplace dispute.

Woman buys thing with own money 259

Posted on March 24, 2015 by

(Or not. It might have been a present.)

recordcoffee

The MONSTER!

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A decent start 118

Posted on March 24, 2015 by

Respect to John MacKay of STV, who on last night’s Scotland Tonight asked Labour MSP James Kelly the question this site has called for about whether Labour would stand aside and let the Tories rule if the latter were the largest party after May’s election, but Labour had enough seats to win a confidence vote and form the government with backing from the SNP and/or other parties.

Kelly, unsurprisingly, flapped and blustered and totally evaded it. But then we doubt he has the authority to make the tea in Scottish Labour, let alone speak for the party on key policy issues. If the question isn’t put repeatedly by all of the media to more senior Labour figures until an answer is produced, we’ll be wanting to know why.

More free help for the UK press 387

Posted on March 23, 2015 by

Here’s Ed Miliband, giving a speech this morning to literally at least 20 Labour MPs, Labour MSPs, journalists and possibly a stray member of the public who accidentally walked through the wrong door in Clydebank, a place where Labour leaders used to address gatherings of thousands.

milibank

Unusually, Miliband took a few questions from the hacks, all of whom promptly wasted the opportunity by lobbing completely pointless softballs about coalitions and deals, all of which (a) have been asked a hundred times already, (b) were rendered moot by Alex Salmond on the Marr show yesterday, and (c) were only ever going to be batted away non-committally.

So here’s an actually worthwhile one they can ask instead next time.

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Well, you should know, we suppose 125

Posted on March 22, 2015 by

…having just spent the last three years in bed with them.

destroyed

Zounds, the irony.

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Under pressure 145

Posted on March 22, 2015 by

We have to give Jim Murphy credit – on this week’s Sunday Politics he started off with the subtle, misleading but technically-accurate version of Labour’s line about the “biggest party forming the government”, which involves making the true but irrelevant observation that in the past it’s usually been the case. (Mainly because UK elections almost always give the biggest party a comfortable majority.)

But it only took a couple of minutes of questioning for the Scottish branch manager to lose his cool and resort to the comprehensively debunked flat-out lie again.

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The black armbams 136

Posted on March 22, 2015 by

Scotland on Sunday on Labour’s latest Scottish election strategy:

armbams

We’re not making that up. Go and check for yourself. And when you’ve prised your jaw off the floor, acquaint yourself with the truth, as told by Jim Callaghan himself.

Is there a doctor in the house? 266

Posted on March 21, 2015 by

Our dear old pal Blair McDougall tweeted this at a minute past midnight today:

brokenleg

Maybe someone can explain it to us.

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The troll press 178

Posted on March 20, 2015 by

The Daily Record, still smarting from the humiliation of being forced to very quietly admit it told its readers a £20 billion lie about the Smith Commission late last year, has been in a demented overdrive trying to provoke Yes/SNP supporters this week.

trollrecord

It started on Tuesday with an echo of the paper’s infamous “Vow” cover, clearly aimed at winding up its detractors but which passed without much comment as social media users merely raised a brief weary eyebrow and got on with their day. But then the Record started turning up the volume.

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    • willie on Anything But That: “Water was hived into East , West and North before it it was fettled up to become Scottish Water. A…Sep 4, 23:05
    • Mark Beggan on Anything But That: “2+2=5.Sep 4, 22:50
    • willie on Anything But That: “Water was hived into East , West and North before it it was fettled up to become Scottish Water. A…Sep 4, 22:47
    • Hatey McHateface on Anything But That: “@ James says: 4 September, 2026 at 9:33 pm “all they have is inults” Side splitting for two reasons, the…Sep 4, 22:25
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    • Aidan on Anything But That: “Oh it’s “James” – this should be good Adult nappy.Sep 4, 21:59
    • Mark Beggan on Anything But That: “Baby Swinney says “We are going to make the NHS great again. Believe me. We’re going to march down there…Sep 4, 21:42
    • James on Anything But That: “oh, Yoon pile-on. As usual all they have is inults. Keep going, Alf, you’re getting to them. Truth hurts and…Sep 4, 21:33
    • Aidan on Anything But That: “So if you reject the authority of the courts, are you proposing for your ideas to lead to a violent…Sep 4, 21:24
    • Chas on Anything But That: “I fail to see the detailed analysis. I do see the usual mince. Figures plucked out of thin air yet…Sep 4, 21:19
    • Hatey McHateface on Anything But That: ““No person or institution that took part in negotiating, agreeing, signing, or ratifying the 1707 Treaty of Union ever held…Sep 4, 21:01
    • Xaracen on Anything But That: “@Aidan; The question of lawful authority in 1707 is not a matter for judicial discretion. It is a matter of…Sep 4, 20:58
    • Aidan on Anything But That: “Yes Alf – your tautological proposition is: – if Scotland was wealthier than Norway (because) then Scotland would be wealthier…Sep 4, 20:49
    • Hatey McHateface on Anything But That: ““places a liberated Scotland above Norway” Wow, fifty years of Scotland’s oil wealth being “plundered by England”. Fifty years of…Sep 4, 20:42
    • Aidan on Anything But That: “If it’s irrefutable Xaracen – then why not argue it in court where these matters are properly determined?Sep 4, 20:06
    • Chas on Anything But That: “The usual mince from the supposedly learned professor. Figures plucked from thin air and a conclusion that does not stand…Sep 4, 19:51
    • Xaracen on Anything But That: “@Aidan; “Ultimately – those proposing independence are those proposing to change the status quo.” And so they absolutely should! The…Sep 4, 19:48
    • Alf Baird on Anything But That: ““If there is anybody who genuinely believes in this £150+ billion a year figure” Well here’s another quite detailed analysis…Sep 4, 19:42
    • Hatey McHateface on Anything But That: “Seems like hardly any time since you were telling us it’s £200 billion a year. Whatever, what’s £50 billion between…Sep 4, 18:52
    • Alf Baird on Anything But That: ““The court in The Hague reckons the Orcs owe $4.22 billion” Small beer, or the cost of one dodgy aircraft…Sep 4, 16:34
    • Hatey McHateface on Anything But That: “Respect to the Norwegians. They’re rediscovering their inner Viking and taking back control of the seas around their coastline. All…Sep 4, 14:28
    • Hatey McHateface on Anything But That: “Aye, James, breaths there as many as even ten True Sovereign Scots who have not, on reading your post, redoubled…Sep 4, 13:42
    • Hatey McHateface on Anything But That: ““highly valuable natural resources” Odd that nobody, either in Scotland or outside, knew we had any highly valuable natural resources…Sep 4, 13:36
    • Mark Beggan on Anything But That: “Dear Slave, Shut up and eat your porridge or we will stop your privileges. Yours faithfully Sir Biggus ‘Fluffy’ Dickus…Sep 4, 13:22
    • James Che on Anything But That: “There is ni UK parliament concerning Scotland, as the UK parliament has a start date of origin of 1800, When…Sep 4, 12:03
    • James Che on Anything But That: “Willie, Jacob rees Mog was on his podcast yesterday praising that should the lights go out, not to worry as…Sep 4, 11:58
    • Northcode on Anything But That: ““Plunder Scotland (UK) is a carpetbagging operation largely owned by non-Scottish, foreign ‘investors’ and overseen by Westminster who takes a…Sep 4, 11:15
    • Anthem on Anything But That: “Well said Wullie.Sep 4, 11:03
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