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Putting [INSERT NAME HERE] first

Posted on March 16, 2015 by

When someone sent us a link last week to a picture of an Anas Sarwar election leaflet, we were immediately struck by the fact that it had the weird characteristic of being ostensibly handwritten but underlining every word in a sentence individually, which reminded us of one we’d seen from Douglas Alexander back in January.

So after a busy weekend of saving stray cats from going blind, we went to dig the two leaflets out, in the modest hope of getting a quick cheap joke about them both using the same fake-handwriting font. But instead we got a bit of a surprise.

puttingxfirst

Because in fact they’re in completely different fonts, which suggests (a) that Labour is making their MPs actually really write these things out themselves like a punishment exercise in school, and (b) that both Alexander and Sarwar had rather unconventional English teachers.

But what’s more striking than that is that the two letters are almost word-for-word identical, with the exception of the first couple of paragraphs, which are tweaked for a bit of local detail – Sarwar worked in the NHS, whereas Alexander’s mum did.

(We’re not sure why any of it is relevant anyway, since of course the NHS in Scotland is fully devolved and this is a Westminster election, but let’s not split hairs.)

From then on they’re the same. “As someone from Renfrewshire” Alexander believes “we deserve better”, whereas Sarwar believes the exact same thing, but “as someone from Glasgow”, and they want different hospitals funded – though Sarwar curiously fails to mention the vast brand-new multi-hospital complex being built by the Scottish Government in his Govan constituency and due to open in 2015/16.

It seems, however, as though Sarwar has won some sort of internal battle. His letter ends with a banner proclaiming “Scottish Labour – Putting Glasgow First”, which presumably must be bad news for Alexander’s constituents in Renfrewshire. We don’t know what their position in the priority list is. Perhaps they should be told.

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    132 to “Putting [INSERT NAME HERE] first”

    1. a2 says:

      At Least Douglas dots his “i”s

    2. JPJ2 says:

      Who can blame them for being spoonfed in this way?

      Historically they are not really used to having to campaign seriously are they?

    3. wingman 2020 says:

      Hahahaha McTernan the Headmaster

    4. X_Sticks says:

      Have they been copying each other’s work?

      I think the teacher might have something to say about that.

    5. a2 says:

      p.s. I do support the NHS and have returned the freepost card 🙂

    6. Ali says:

      Or some hapless goon is given form letters which they have to fill in appropriately

    7. Ali says:

      wait … that’s the same thing

    8. call me dave says:

      Friends and neighbours Aaaah!

      When you’ve got friends and neighbours
      All the world is a happier place
      Friends and neighbours
      Put a smile on the gloomiest face
      etc… and so on.

      From the Billy Cotton and Max Bygraves era when labour knew what they stood for.. (I was much younger at the time) 🙂

      ————————————————–
      Murphy giving them lines, pity he can’t remember all his own lines!

    9. wingman 2020 says:

      Did some poll tell the Labour party that they had to get more in touch with the people? And some idiot thought handwriting was a ‘personal touch’??

      Touched in the head, more like.

      Labour, the keystone cops of politics.

    10. MajorBloodnok says:

      “I must write out 1,000 times ‘the largest party gets to form the Government and the largest party won’t be Labour’… er, is that right McTernan?”

    11. mike says:

      That’s the trouble with they bloody nationalists, the have the internet noo. Labour obviously think we are goldfish. Has anyone had a letter from Murphy?

    12. No no no...Yes says:

      Anas says his first job was with the NHS. Hopefully he will be filling in an application for his next job with them on 8 May.

      Today’s media a bit of an SNP fest so far, with all interviewees coming out as professional, competent and progressive politicians. Compare and contrast with unionist variety who were all doom, gloom and lacking ambition for Scotland.

    13. wingman 2020 says:

      The AF+ model is a particularly exciting model. Enhanced with state-of-the-art software from The Autopen Company, the machine can be programmed to write a different note on each sheet – in your own handwriting! In addition to signature and note reproduction, envelope addressing and specific personalization are now possible.

      http://www.damilic.com/autopen-products/handwriting-machines

    14. Macca73 says:

      This is beyond shocking and a really bad example of covering the tracks that you’ve made.

    15. Lollysmum says:

      Dumb & dumber, cheap & cheaper end up with trash & trashier (is that a word?)

      Distinct paucity of ideas there don’t you think?

      On the other hand-I’ve just sat in the audience at the London School of Economics & watched Nicola in action. She had the audience absolutely spellbound & was unbelievable to watch. She went from polite applause at the beginning to a huge round of applause at the end. She gained some English support this morning & was a pleasure to hear her walk them through the economic arguments.

      Stu-Cockers was there as was Torcuil.

      No selfies though so disappointed in that 🙁

    16. frogesque says:

      Bit silly of Dougieboy to put his address on that letter – if indeed it is his real address.

      I can see a lot of unstamped ‘lovebombing’ heading his way. Not that I would countenance such an act of course.

    17. caz-m says:

      I mentioned in a comment last week, that if Alexander and Sarwar think if they lie low enough that we will somehow forget all about them and by default, they will hold onto their seats.

      Well they are in for a shock. We have not forgotten about these two chancers. They are very much in our thoughts, every day, along with all those other Unionist MPs,

      Yer teas oot!

    18. Morag says:

      Hah! I remember showing up to help in Allan Macartney’s campaign office in Peterhead in 1994, to find a charming young lady called Christina sitting at a table with a pen and a pile of new voters’ letters, individually signing every one “Allan”.

      She remarked that at least it was less work than writing “Christina” on all of them!

    19. Thepnr says:

      Evidence, if any were needed that even senior Labour party figures in Scotland have no ideas or thoughts of their own. Everything published is done so only with approval of the spin doctors.

      In SLAB you may nor have a mind of your own, you will toe the party line and put your name under whatever we tell you to put it.

      The party knows best, leaders and those of independent thought will be cast aside, only followers of the party dictate may climb the greasy poll. Just sign here…

    20. Lefthand says:

      Because in fact they’re in totally different fonts, which suggests (a) that Labour is making their MPs actually really write these things out themselves like a punishment exercise in school,

      Labour are getting them (or someone) to write these out by hand. If you want to spot a fake handwriting font it’s generally easy enough: although there might be some variation within a line, across an entire line each line will be parallel with the others.

      Unless the graphic designer decides to ‘wobble’ each line individually, but most wouldn’t think to, even if they were going to put more effort into a leaflet than Labour seems to be putting into its campaign.

    21. Murray McCallum says:

      “Scottish” Labour are using the correct grammatical term of saying they are “putting Glasgow first having already put Renfrewshire firstest

      The question remains as to who is firsterest? We need answers.

    22. think again says:

      Two down, another 39 to come. Wonder if they all write as neatly and legibly as Douglas and Anas. My handwriting would preclude me from standing as a Labour Candidate, it would only confuse the voters.

    23. Embradon says:

      Quite bizzare

    24. Ken500 says:

      Which letter is the forgery? Both.

      Thev NHS averages 40,000 operations a month with average of 200 cancellations. That’s some record not appreciated by the DR (profits halved since the VOW).

      Westminster breaks it’s promises £2Billion a year (saving?) cuts, since 2011. The Scottish Gov invests £2Billion in the NHS, £1/2Billion a year since 2011. Increased funding.

      Since 2010 the ConDems have lost £Billions of tax revenues. Total taxes raised in the UK £466Billion. Taxes raised in 2010 £600Billion. Total taxes raise in Scotland £54Billion. Who kept their promises to support the NHS – the Scottish Gov. Who lied about their promises to support the NHS – Westminster. They cut the budget.

    25. David says:

      At a high street in Scotlandshire now, for a limited engagement only…

      Snake-oil salesman/Scottish Labourite: “Hey old-timer, where are you from?”

      Pensioner: “Ah’m fae (insert-name-here).”

      Oily Labourite: “Hey, (insert-name-here), my home town! And you pretty miss, where are you from?”

      Pretty Miss(not demeaning in any way, no siree, its just the Labour way): “I’m from(insert-other-name-here).”

      Oily Labourite: “Hey, (insert-other-name-here), my other home town! No, but seriously, I wanna thank you most sincerely folks, and remember and vote Labour, because SNP Baad!””

    26. tamson says:

      @Ali:

      If they’re being written out by staff, then simply signed by Sarwar/Alexander then that’s a wee scandal in itself. Anyone got samples of their writing (not their signature) to check?

    27. Grizzle McPuss says:

      ‘Copy & Paste’ becomes ‘Crappy & Pastiche’

    28. Paul Miller says:

      I used to work for Amazon, we’d have standard responses or ‘blurbs’ that we would use for any kind of enquiry and then personalise them a bit. Must be the same with SLab.

    29. Ian Brotherhood says:

      ‘Sorry Mr McTernan, the dog ate mine.’ (INSERT NAME HERE), Member of Parliament, North Britain Branch

    30. TYRAN says:

      Signed, your friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man.

    31. blackhack says:

      Rev Stu, A big thank you for making my day, everyday I think that labour cant do another thing wrong, and every day you post up another cracker…

      I wonder who the prefect is that gives them extra curriculum activities, like “door chapping for dummies” and “Putting your foot in you’re mouth” Can it really be Mc Ternan ??

      The sooner we vote these numbskulls out of Scotland the better…

    32. Iain Gray's Subway Lament says:

      Who do scots trust with their NHS?

      Nicola Sturgeon or Ed Miliband?

      Game over ‘scottish’ Labour, game over. 🙂

    33. Edward says:

      I would reckon they managed to get a hold of some second hand Readers Digest machines

      People eventually got fed up receiving the “Mr [insert name here] your the lucky winner in [insert name of town here]…. Do believe the Readers Digest went tits up

      So expect everyone to receive these ‘letters’ perhaps will have an offer of car/set of books/ luxury holiday if you send back the reply card?

    34. Johnny says:

      Anyone know if Nicola’s speech from LSE this morning did/will appear anywhere online?

    35. caz-m says:

      Dougie Alexander constituency betting.

      http://www.oddschecker.com/politics/british-politics/paisley-and-renf-south/winning-party

      Anas Sarwar constituency betting.

      http://www.oddschecker.com/politics/british-politics/glasgow-central/winning-party

      Can anyone make any sense of the betting.

    36. Al Shaw says:

      I hate to party poop, but the new Suffering General is in Ian odious Davidson’s constituency. That said I expect a similar letter in the post any day now with the same content.

    37. heedtracker says:

      Ed Miliband: Labour will not form coalition with SNP

      So they’d rather see Cameron’s ConDem’s back in No. 10 than deal with SNP. Bet this all lies as well.

    38. Capella says:

      At least they’re not using Comic Sans.

    39. galamcennalath says:

      Lets not lose sight of the fact that there are a lot of gullible people out there who will be taken in by these ‘personal’ letters! Also, these non techically literate people are now SLab’s primary target.

    40. Valerie says:

      Apart from the irrelevant drivel they contain, this approach looks cheap and nasty in this day and age.

      Everything SNP does is modern and snappy, they communicate progressive and energy. They take advantage of everything social media can provide. You can download graphics, infographics, logos to use, from their website.

      SLab act like the cavemen they are. It’s a bit sad, but I hope people are waking up to them now.

    41. Neil says:

      Well well well – Mr Miliband would rather see a Blue Tory Government in Number 10 than deal with the SNP. Nearly dropped my bacon sandwich there

    42. Johnny says:

      Caz @ 2:53

      I’m not sure if you mean can we understand why the odds are as they are or what they are saying? If the latter, they suggest Alexander will hold and Sarwar will lose. If the former, who knows why they are panning out that way. Local knowledge, or just more people punting on Alexander to win?

    43. Neil says:

      Thanks Rev – I cant shake this image of all the SLAB MPs sitting in a classroom copying the words from the board. Wee Dougie first to finish, Stairhead Mags giving Johann a dead arm, Smurph staring blankly at the piece of paper in front of him trying to rememebr what he did at Uni.

    44. ronnie anderson says:

      Is the Accouting Unit of the Branch Labour Party sending oot chain letters noo,question is, were they written wie Ah Gold Nib Parker Pen or ah common Biro Pen.?

      They better get used tae the latter,Job Centre,s dont do Parkers.

    45. frankieboy says:

      McTernan is a fanny [underline]

    46. ClanDonald says:

      Oh my, Miliband yet again pandering to the right wing press and ruling out a coalition with the SNP. Just what the Tories have been longing for.

      That’s him signed the death warrant of the Labour party in Scotland and given the SNP tons more ammunition to take to the doorsteps.

      If any Scottish Labour MSPs are reading this you know that the only way you are keeping your job at the 2016 Holyrood elections now is to formally break from the UK party and support full, proper, non-pretendy home rule. Otherwise you are doomed to a generation of being New Toxic Tories.

      Can’t wait for the Labour-Bye-Election on May 7th!!

    47. Luigi says:

      They cannot be serious – I mean those “hand-written” letters are so bloody crass, it’s painful! Cringe finds a new level. Grinder passes note to monkeys – copy this message, by hand.

      A plan of action comes to mind – let’s copy Alexander’s letters and send them to Sarwar’s constituents and vice versa, or better still make them side-by-side on a big poster. Or maybe just wait a few days – there could be more!

      The English newspapers may be interested in these hand-written promises to use a mansion tax to fund the Scottish NHS.

    48. Wee Alex says:

      The Lib Dems has been sending out hand written letters for decades. I met a young lass, straight out of uni who did the letter on behalf of the candidate. She only lasted one campaign with them.

      I’m not for a moment suggesting this is not the candidates hand writing by the way, honest and trustworthy people like Alexander would never do such a thing, nor would they copy it from a master template. Sic.

      Ill be most impressed if they hand delivered the letters themselves.

    49. Stoker says:

      @ Neil (3.22pm).

      Thanks!
      I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at that image.
      Or to send out a hit-squad for planting that image in my nut.
      A Spitting Image if ever there was one, eh!
      🙂

    50. Cat G says:

      The new Southern campus opens this year. The adult hospital Will open before the election and Yorkhill hospital is due to move in June into the New New children’s hospital. Completion is 2016, which is a third multi-story carpark, joint teaching facilities with Glasgow University and landscaping.

    51. Luigi says:

      ClanDonald says:

      16 March, 2015 at 3:25 pm

      Oh my, Miliband yet again pandering to the right wing press and ruling out a coalition with the SNP. Just what the Tories have been longing for.

      Oh Dear. Dearie Dearie Me. Just when it looked like it couldn’t get any worse for Milliband, he ends up looking weaker than ever. The tories have him on the run now. The hounds smell blood and they will not let up until he rules out an informal coalition as well.

    52. Davy says:

      So if their is two handwritten letters their should be more, time to have a search through the recycling folks.

      PS, Ed, who cares who what you say about a coalition, you and your party are just tories to us anyway.

    53. caz-m says:

      Cheers Johnny: Re, Betting.

      I have a feeling that the SNP vote will get even stronger, the closer we get to the election. Once the serious campaigning starts.

      Ashcroft has Alexander losing his seat, that’ll do for me.

      I will be doing my bit to get Mhairi Black returned as my new SNP MP.

    54. Tackety Beets says:

      Sorry O/T ref the link on post ” saving cats ”
      Like many here I donated , but I also noted a certain
      “Claudia Zywietz ” has donated a large sum TWICE so if you are said person , WELL DONE & another Well done to everyone else inc our R.W.M. , Rev too .

    55. Croompenstein says:

      Did Ed rule out a coalition with the Tories?

    56. caz-m says:

      Ed Miliband is starting to sound like Bill Clinton, when Clinton repeatedly told the world that he,

      “…did not have a sexual relationship with that woman”

      The two of them were lying through their teeth,

      scuse the pun.

    57. Roll_On_2015 says:

      Johnny: at 2:51 pm

      Anyone know if Nicola’s speech from LSE this morning did/will appear anywhere
      online?

      Found this on YouTube, but it is only 1:30 minutes long, so I presume it’s not the full length one… I may be wrong.

      FM calls for modernisation of budget process

      Perhaps Lollysmum can clear that up?

    58. Macca73 says:

      For the ones switched on this will look like what it is. Scaremongering to get you to vote for a party you don’t associate yourself with for fear of letting the Tories in. It won’t work!

      To those switched off to politcial arguments this is also going to look like “I voted no, why are they asking me to fight the SNP?”

      The argument is lost on them and they have indeed brought a knife to a gunfight.

    59. gerry parker says:

      @ Ronnie

      “They better get used tae the latter,Job Centre,s dont do Parkers.”

      How’ll I get my JSA then?

      🙂

    60. Diane says:

      Neil at 3.22pm. Phone ruined due to coffee splitter. That is some vision!

    61. think again says:

      Nicola`s speech can be found here.

      https://archive.today/bmkty

    62. heedtracker says:

      Jim Murphy now all across England on BBC radio vote SLab news explaining how SNP brought down Labour government in 1979 and they had better not do it again, letting down the people of Scotland. Its a hell of a UKOK team, the BBC and SLabour.

    63. Roger Hyam says:

      Could they be using vLetter fonts?

      https://www.vletter.com/

    64. MochaChoca says:

      So one (or more likely both) couldn’t be arsed wording a genuine letter.

      Presenting something generic as being personal is pretty low.

      If I was a BBC news boss and sussed this out I’d have tried organised to interview them separately, but concurrently, to see who admitted to plagiarism.

    65. caz-m says:

      There are rumours doing the rounds that the Lib/Dems would be willing to support a Labour minority Government.

      If this is so, then would Ed Miliband be willing to let Lib/Dem MPs become Ministers in his Government?

      We need to know if he thinks that the Lib/Dems are more worthy of a place in his Government than an SNP MP.

      C’mon Ed, rule out a Lib/Dem/Labour coalition.

    66. Luigi says:

      I’ve been patiently waiting for the big MSM guns to be turned on the SNP, but they still seem unsure that Cameron can get elected. Time is running out. Ho Ho.

      Rather than their cunning little Plan A (first deal with Miliband then trash the SNP to ensure the tories take the UK, but SLAB hangs on in Scotland), they may decide to sacrifice the red tories in Scotland, just to ensure that Cameron wins overall (thereby offering a short-term solution to the thing that scares them the most – a powerful SNP with leverage). That’s all it will be, however, a short-term fix. Without a red tory bulwark, Scotland will become ungovernable for WM. No mandate, no legitimacy.

    67. David says:

      Dear Lovely Resident of (Insert Town Here) in my consituency,

      The NHS is GOOD, and the evil separatist SNP is BAD.

      Vote Scotlandshire Labour, or we’ll shoot a doctor.

      We mean it.

      Trust us, we’d really do it.

      Best wishes,

      A Sitting-MP

    68. alexicon says:

      Dumb copies dumber’s homework.

    69. ronnie anderson says:

      @ gerry parker Keep up there that manny, Pens Pens ah said no Parker People, ah depend on you tae keep me right,ah hope you get back oan track quick or am loast lol.

    70. caz-m says:

      Ronnie & Gerry

      O/T

      Here’s a link regarding the Trident demo in George Sq on 4th April. Also downloadable leaflets with all the dates and times on it.

      http://scraptrident.org/

      See you there.

    71. David Stevenson says:

      Can’t wait for Tom Greatrex to shove out the same personal view……

    72. Bill McLean says:

      About 15 minutes ago on BBC Radio 5 heard Ian Davidson MP say that SNP had been in coalition with the Tories – is there any lie this man will not tell?

    73. frogesque says:

      @ think again:

      Thanks for linky to LSE speech. is there a vid anywhere?

    74. Stoker says:

      @ think again (4.04pm) re: Nicola’s speech.

      Thanks for that link, enjoyed reading that.

      Compare the trustworthy intellect of Sturgeon against the brainless lies and deception of Londons LibLabCon gophers and it’s easy to see why she and the SNP are soaring high in popularity.

      Splendid!

    75. think again says:

      If we wait a day or two the podcast of Nicola`s speech should / could appear here

      https://archive.today/bmkty

    76. muttley79 says:

      This announcement by Miliband is meaningless. Everyone knows that there was never going to be a formal coalition between Labour and the SNP, if there is going to be an agreement it would be confidence and supply.

    77. Thepnr says:

      @frogesque

      Might have to wait a day or so for the video.

      We aim to make all LSE events available as a podcast subject to receiving permission from the speaker/s to do this, and subject to no technical problems with the recording of the event. Podcasts are normally available 1-2 working days after the event. Podcasts and videos of past events can be found online

      http://www.lse.ac.uk/publicEvents/events/2015/03/20150316t1200vLSE.aspx

    78. gus1940 says:

      Surely it is now time for every Tory or Labour politician interviewed to be asked if they would support ‘A Tory/Labour Government Of National Unity’ (stop laughing at the back) should neither of the 2 parties manage to win a workable majority.

    79. jim heraghty says:

      Is there a forger out there somewhere having a good laugh? How can we tell they are genuine?

      Re ‘coalition’ and ‘deal’. Many people don’t know the difference and have to have it explained to them.

      So it’s up to those who genuinely want them to know to explain it. If Ian Davidson comment true, doesn’t look like he’s the one.

    80. Author_Al says:

      I was looking at the news that Milipede is not going to let any caring, intelligent, left leaning, socially aware SNP MPs be in his cabinet, preferring to have the likes of Jim Spud…or something like that.

      Up popped a survey on the BBC scotland news site for comments. There was even a box to write down how I felt. And a little gadget to tick 1 to 10 about how I felt the news was balanced and fair. Naturally I ticked 1 for crud and wrote copious amounts about the Pro-Labour Anti- SNP bias.

      No doubt the BBC will appreciate my efforts (and yours) and act on the feedback.

    81. frogesque says:

      @thepnr

      Thanks – I’ll just have to be patient – I don’t just want the edited MSN News version

    82. gerry parker says:

      thanks Caz. See you there.
      May be in Dunoon at the time but will definitely be up for it.

    83. call me dave says:

      @Bill McLean

      Murphy repeated same story on BBC Radio Scotland interview.

      It was a whole lot more complicated than that.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1WRVVdGQcN0 part 1

      Part 2 there as well

    84. ronnie anderson says:

      @ caz m Thanks caz am sure when gerry see,s your post he,ll Pincel the date in the diary, he,s ah wee bitty confudlled the noo wie Pens.

    85. call me dave says:

      Nippy arse time for Miliband, what a dilemma!

      There is every chance that in the event of a hung parliament that Miliband , Cameron and Clegg will be toast within a few weeks.

      Ms Sturgeon however, as the last woman standing, will be acting in Scotland’s interest and that of the UK s well.

      PS:
      Oil revenues to the UK were £2,500,000 per hour in 1985.
      Where did it all go wrong?

    86. Grouse Beater says:

      The more Westminster defies democratic reform, and does it blatantly with political machinations, subterfuge, lies, threats, and over-throwing strict rules of process and entitlement, the more they are sure to motivate anger that takes the form of retaliatory action.

      You simply cannot hold a grass roots movement down year after year by telling it, it will never gain empowerment no matter how just its cause.

      One day someone advocates a more aggressive line and the next thing is an adherent lobs the first stone.

      Listening to all the ‘fuck you, Scotland, you don’t count, from merry England these last days makes me worry we can’t be far away from that day.

    87. Grouse Beater says:

      Westminster is an elite club, always has been. Once in any wrong doing will be protected from public scrutiny for as long as possible.

      https://grousebeater.wordpress.com/2015/03/15/a-tale-of-two-parliaments/

    88. ronnie anderson says:

      printed Media in England getting shown up for what the are LYING HACKS. BBC now reporting truthfully NO FORMAL COALITION with SNP/LABOUR.

      Bbc Laura Vicker reporting from Aberdeen North SNP have 1600 actavists in each constituancy knocking doors. Accouting Unit Labour ( north branch ) are matching that,to be fair she did,nt say ( number)she,ll be telling us next they,ve goat VESPAS ( vesta matches).

      Ok Ok nae manhanling ah,ll leave the premise quitely.

    89. Lollysmum says:

      Nicola at the LSE was televised by LSE. You will be pleased to know that BBC were not there so your worries about it being edited should be unfounded 🙂

      LSE has a huge output of filmed events that they post on their YouTube LSE Channel. I’ve just checked it & the last event showing was from Thurs/Fri last week.

      Going by their Facebook page, they had problems with livestreaming Nicola’s speech at the beginning but managed to sort it out.

    90. Jamie Arriere says:

      Speaking of putting Glasgow first, here’s a wee heads-up to a fundraiser to help get rid of Willie ‘SNP Bad’ Bain in Glasgow North East.

      I remember this formidable woman in the Indyref campaign with a BBC reporter in tow (Laura Bicker I think) canvassing in Easterhouse in the dark.

      Not too sure of the fundraiser site (not the usual), but this woman deserves all help

      http://www.crowdfunder.co.uk/GNE

    91. Miliband has ruled out a coalition with the SNP. All the “main parties” have now. This is a denial of reality that is hard to fathom. Whether they like it or not, the “rag tag mob” are holding all the cards here …

      Wee article on the madness of his announcement.

      This is based on numbers from this morning … not much has changed. A couple of new polls have outlined much the same figures. There’s a tweet going round trying to present Peter Kellner’s individual prediction as a reflection of the seat projection … but it’s cobblers.

      http://www.commentisntfree.com/the-rag-tag-mob/

    92. ronnie anderson says:

      What we always knew there would never be a formal coalition with Labour, as said by Nicola from the start.

      Ah wee massage fur the BBC & Print Media

      take note, all you,s at Pacific Quay of they Big Cannons

      YER FIRED.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BsKbwR7WXN4

    93. Valerie says:

      @ronnie Anderson, you are on good form today.

      Just watched the link for Lorraine and Nicola, having a good interview, genuine respect and warmth.

      Also, having a good laugh at the Greg Moodie ‘toon today in the National, it contains every make of glue you can think of, a Walkers crisp packet, and Labour’s new pledge card, showing the 5 stages of grief.

      I love Greg Moodie – there, I’ve said it!

    94. HandandShrimp says:

      As our yoof say “Copy Pasta”

      I suppose we are duty bound to see how many variants of this we can find now….in the interests of posterity obviously 🙂

    95. Cuddis says:

      This shabby nonsense brings two things to mind. The first is a quote attributed to everyone from Groucho Marx to a French diplomat:

      ‘The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you’ve got it made.’

      The other memory is of getting scammed in a cafe in Waverley Station in the mid-seventies. A callow youth pitches up at my table and asks where I am from. I say, Aberdeen. He whips out a harmonica and plays the Northern Lights of Old Aberdeen. If I’d said Dundee, of course, he’d have played the Road And The Miles. God knows what he’d have played if I’d said East Renfrewshire (do other Wingers know?)

      The point is, he didn’t care where I came from. He just wanted a smoke. Just as Labour want these letters to get them votes. End of transaction my friend/neighbour.

      In return for his ditty he asked with great humility if he could fill a matchbox with a few strands of tobacco from my pouch of Drum.

      I accepted the trade. Foolishly. With the dexterous and skilled application of one thumb and a soupçon of super human strength he packed the entire content of my pouch into the wee matchbox until the tobacco inside was the same density as a neutron star. I didn’t have the heart to call him out on his marvellous trick, and he was off before the empty tobacco pouch blew off in the wind.

      The naked cynicism now displayed by Labour (and others) as evidenced by these two exhibits makes me yearn for something different. Passing off cold calculated communications like these as genuine appeals from honest folks to honest folks should be a criminal offence FFS. Shame on the lot of them.

    96. FraserP says:

      You know they only get charged for those FREEPOST cards if you post them. So, yeh, post them back ????

    97. caz-m says:

      STVs London reporter, Harry Smith, finished his report about the SNP/Labour coalition with the breaking news that Labour have done private polling and it shows that voters have stopped moving over to the SNP because of Ed’s announcement. WOW! Harry.

      And what did the SNP private polling show Harry?

      Still waitin Harry.

      The STV news swiftly moved on to Murder and Fitba.

      STV are as biased towards the SNP/YES as their next door neighbours, BBC Scotland.

    98. Bill Fraser says:

      Anas needs to look at how his Labour mates at BBC Glasgow summarised the hospital changes in Glasgow.
      There are some issues over public transport access to the new building but as far as A&E provision is concerned he’s just plain wrong:
      http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-30998786

    99. John Walsh says:

      With this sort of plagiarism you wonder how they got degrees. Just as well Jim Murphy didn’t write a begging letter. 😉

    100. Helena Brown says:

      Grouse Beater @ 5.21pm With regard to your comment, the one thing that the British Establishment has never learned is to sit on the pressure valve. Hence Ireland, and Malaysia and Cyprus. Always has to do it the hard way.

    101. Helena Brown says:

      Dash it, should read that they should never sit on the pressure valve.
      Need edit function……. or a brain.

    102. Grouse Beater says:

      The best literary contribution made on the run-up to the Referendum remains Alisdair Gray’s fearless essay, his his colonisers and settlers.

      Everybody who feels strong about Scotland’s place in the world and progressive representation should keep a copy beside them, and read it regularly.

    103. Helena Brown says:

      By gum Caz-m that was very fast, they managed to poll that fast, methinks porkies, the sort Labour and their fellow travellers indulge in.

    104. pmcrek says:

      I bet the basic format for the letter was decided upon by an NLP expert to be reused by SLAB folks as standard.

    105. cearc says:

      Caz-m,

      What, they were leaving so fast that the party can spot the difference in an hour or so!

    106. Stoker says:

      “Subliminal messages were used throughout this interview”
      newsnet.scot/2015/03/arden-glue-sniffer-reveals-everything-he-can-remember-but-its-not-much/

    107. ronnie anderson says:

      @ caz m Bbc reporting awe day Sir Ian Wood 10billion barrels of OIL, we can up that to 16 billion barrels of OIL.

      The well Respected Oil Expert IS a LYING, TAX AVOIDING, AULD CUNTART.

    108. ronnie anderson says:

      @ caz m Bbc reporting awe day Sir Ian Wood 10billion barrels of OIL, we can up that to 16 billion barrels of OIL.

      Thats ah loat of OIL running OOT,

      The well Respected Oil Expert IS a LYING, TAX AVOIDING, AULD CUNTARD.

    109. SquareHaggis says:

      Had a knock on the door earlier, wee wifie who usually delivers the Watchtower.
      Except today she’s a LibDem!

      Sounded exactly the same as she does when preaching about the evils of the world under her other guise, except replace the messaiah with Christine Jardine and SNP with the de’ils spawn.

      Quite remarkable.

      Let her blarb on for a bit before passing her a cardboard box for her boss.
      From the look on her face she obviously didn’t get it.

      Way out there man…

    110. A (reluctant) Labour Member says:

      On the Douglas Alexander leaflet, where’s the imprint (printed and promoted by… On the Sarwar leaflet it’s in 4pt text down the right hand side)? Reckon that might merit a complaint to the Electoral Commission, along with extensive ribbing about the inability of the party’s General Election coordinator to comply with election law 101.

      The fucking incompetence of the party to get even the basics right never ceases to piss me off.

    111. Paula Rose says:

      Does the freepost address work with handwritten cards? I’ve got a few boxes that need re-cycling.

    112. Rob James says:

      Nobody has moved across to the SNP since Milliband’s announcemount cos they havnae picked themselves up off the floor yet.

    113. cearc says:

      A (reluctant) Labour Member,

      Why?

    114. Paula Rose says:

      The address on the left hand letter rang a bell – Is that the home of this company?

      Company ENVIRONMENTAL AND RESOURCE ECONOMICS LIMITED is a Private Limited Company, registration number SC352731, established in United Kingdom on the 19. December 2008. The company is now active. The company has been in business for 6 years and 2 months. The company is based on 24 SOUTHFIELD AVENUE, PAISLEY, PA2 8BY. Business of the company ENVIRONMENTAL AND RESOURCE ECONOMICS LIMITED by SIC and NACE code is “74901 – Environmental consulting activities”. There are 20 company documents available. The most recent document is “19/12/14 FULL LIST” from the 2015.01.06. The latest accounts are filed up to 2013.12.31. The latest annual return was filed up to 2014.12.19. We do not have any information about the company ENVIRONMENTAL AND RESOURCE ECONOMICS LIMITED being in liquidation. The company has 1 director. The total number of directors was so far 3. The total number of secretaries was 1. Data on this page were generated on the 2015.03.16. We can inform you about other changes with the “watch this company”.

      Note that the data was generated today.

    115. call me dave says:

      @ronnie anderson

      Brilliant: 🙂

      Here’s a Poison pen letter. When comedy was a gentler art.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k5UKNdLU5eA

    116. ronnie anderson says:

      @ Valerie 6.03 Thank you for your comments,but my efforts somtimes reduse people to Tears.

      I,ve had ah Email fae Paula Rose she,s been sitting on the toilet bubbling, her Mascara,s ah mess running through her Pink Lipstick, an its AW YOU,s,es Fawt for listenin tae me.

      But on a more serious note. I know what is is to Receive A Wings Gold Badge ( ah wiz greeting tae )courtesy of Fellow Wingers generosity. I thank each & every Winger who were financial able to contribute to the Overall Funding,an to Paula Rose GIT the bloody mess cleaned up, we want you looking your finest on 1st May.

      Morag well done on getting the wee Cat the help it needed.

      Wha,s like US, naebody,s, cause they,re no WINGERS.

    117. ClanDonald says:

      @Cuddis at 6.09pm

      Nice post, liking your fancy prose style 😀

    118. Zane Stumpo says:

      You’re so close to the story and yet missing it. Stu, for goodness sake get these checked out by a handwriting expert. The stuff about fonts and wavy lines is bollocks. These two letters were written by the same person. Pick a distinctive letter like an ‘f’ or a word which appears in both, or a number like £440. Compare. There are so many different ways to form a character, and both letters are the same.

      So, are the signatures genuine, and just grafted on?

      You’ve burst through the defence and you’re faced with an open goal. For goodness sake now boot the ball!

    119. wee jock poo-pong mcplop says:

      There is nothing the most astute satirist could add about these clowns, therefore:

      “Thank you for helping that cat!”

      This is a serious point actually…a political activist with the simple decency to get involved with that kind of thing is clearly the kind of person our side of the divide can trust.

    120. Fiona says:

      STVs London reporter, Harry Smith, finished his report about the SNP/Labour coalition with the breaking news that Labour have done private polling and it shows that voters have stopped moving over to the SNP because of Ed’s announcement.

      Jings! I never knew the STV had a time machine.

    121. HandandShrimp says:

      Fiona

      LOL I saw that and thought it a tad weird too.

      I would have said that people stopped moving weeks ago. The polls have remained distressingly, for Labour, stuck at around 45% for the SNP for a fair wee while now. Ed ruling out something that Nicola ruled out weeks ago is hardly earth shattering news either.

      STV reads out Labour brief uncritically and without engaging any journalistic ability is the more interesting story.

    122. My goodness that newsnght Scotland was brutal that interview with Jim Murphy was a joke Kirsty please stay in the union Watt is going to be interviewing Nicola Sturgeon and Smurghy shortly I wonder who will get the harder time mmmm Starts with an N. Hi Rev he is still repeating that lie about the largest party forming a Government it’s like watching Labour die of a thousand cuts

    123. A (reluctant) Labour Member says:

      @ cearc – Because it is a legal requirement.

      Political Parties, Elections and Referendums Act 2000 Article 143

      http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2000/41/section/143

      Election material must include name and address of the printer, the promoter, and the person on whose behalf it is published.

    124. Robert Peffers says:

      @Thepnr says: 16 March, 2015 at 2:34 pm:

      “Evidence, if any were needed that even senior Labour party figures in Scotland have no ideas or thoughts of their own. Everything published is done so only with approval of the spin doctors.

      Ah! Thepnr, you have the right of it. Which reminds me there is a by election here in Fife, (26 March, local government by-election). Word has it, after the selection of the several local candidates, local joiners have experience a great shortage of very short, thick planks.

    125. Rabwho says:

      ‘BULLSHIT.’

    126. Callum says:

      *** I might be a bit late in the game here – but these letters have been written with a “handwriting machine”. Gordon Ramsay lost a big case in court a few months ago because of one of these machines.

    127. A (reluctant) Labour Member says:

      @ Callum
      Nothing so complex. They’ve been written and then copied onto paper with a Riso. Sarwar’s defeats the point of the exercise (trying to make it look personal) by insisting on buffing his ego by using his letterheads.

      Incidentally, as the Rev would know given his admitted 22 year dalliance with the Lib Dems, this is one of their preferred methods of communication with voters, and depressingly if done well it is really quite effective.

    128. Gary says:

      In a parallel universe Bart Simpson is a Labour MP in Glasgow and Anas Sarwar is the naughty nine year old on ‘The Sarwars’ who we see at 6pm every night in the programmes intro writing on the school blackboard about how crap the NHS is because NATIONALISTS!

    129. Gordon says:

      What part of ‘too wee, too stupid, too poor’ do they think we are? On this occasion, evidently, ‘too stupid’. These simpletons really have a low opinion of their fellow Scots.



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