The lemon pledges
A lot of people this week quoted a line supposedly from the former Labour cabinet minister Roy Jenkins, which runs “a statement is only interesting if a sane man could say the opposite”. We haven’t been able to verify if he ever really said that or not, but it doesn’t really matter, because it’s true either way.
So where that leaves this mess is anyone’s guess.
Because the nano-manifesto above, on which Labour plans to contest the 2015 election, only makes sense if there was a party which might run on this platform:
“A worse plan. A worse future.
1. A weak economic foundation.
2. Lower living standards for working families.
3. An NHS run off its feet.
4. Uncontrolled immigration.
5. A country where every generation is worse off than the previous one.”
So it’s a feeble, insulting absurdity of an offering. Labour might as well pledge free air, cuddly kittens and an end to dinosaur attacks. At least when they’ve pulled the pledge card trick before it was vaguely meaningful and measurable. (Though we have no idea how much of the below was delivered, except for the Scottish Parliament.)
But it’s where 20 years of gutless, unprincipled triangulation has bought us – parties so bereft of fundamental principles that they think “Everything will be lovely and super, but NO FOREIGNS” is a serious message.
(The immigration pledge is perhaps the most moronic of all, though it’s no easy feat to stand out from the monumental limpness of the other four. The UK already has immigration controls. Labour don’t promise more or better ones, just that we’ll continue to have some, as if any party was pledging to bin them all.)
The best that can be said about the card is that Labour has at least learned something from the Lib Dems’ infamous tuition fee pledge of 2010. That was inconveniently clear and specific – “We will vote against any increase in tuition fees” – and handed their opponents an easy stick to clobber them with when they U-turned on it in the most spectacular fashion.
And if that’s progress, readers, God help us all.
In 20 years, Labour in Scotland have lost the number for their Scottish printers as well as the plot.
And so very quantifiable these pledges.
It is all a bit “but what is your Plan B” “Page 110 of White Paper” …
Cept there is no white paper far less specific pages.
Could mean anything to any man. Or woman.
Free air I have, cuddly kittens no problem but if someone can please do something about the bloody Westminster dinosaurs I’ll be a happy man.
1. I will vote SNP.
2. I will not vote Labour.
3. I will not vote Tory.
4. I will not vote LibDem.
5. I will not regret any of the above – ever.
… aye, it appears they’ve descended below the “written on the back o’ a fag packet” level. How anyone with an IQ greater than 35 (just enough to remember to breath & blink) could vote for that fatuous bunch of self serving chancers, is one of the great unexplained mysteries of the universe !!!
It’s a strategy which will work, in theory … promise absolutely nothing, then no one can complain when you very successfully deliver nothing! The catch is … why would anyone be stupid enough to vote on an empty manifesto? Like so much of Labour’s approach to politics now, they target just the gullible!
Yesterday a smirky Radio4 vote tory England BBC dude said all this was merely an insipidly weak Milliband going for that BIG Tent Tony Blair style politics but really only erecting a wobbly two man tent from Halfords. Mind you old Bliar alone made a fcuking fortune from his Big Tent. The UKOK trough’s certainly been good to these guys.
Not another shitty wee pledge card.. FFS we give a wee blue book packed with info they give a shite card packed with fuck all…
I’m away to check Ed’s signature with the one on the Vow..
Labour seem wedded to their credit size pledge cards. ]
They are so yesterday.
Why do people want to come to the UK?
Number 5 about the next generation being better off reminds me of the old joke. I want my kids to have what I couldn’t afford then we can move in with them. At least that leaflet was printed in Scotland.
Is that the back of a fag pack they wrote that on?
What Chic McGregor said.
Its just the usual fare from Ed Milligram (he’s so light weight) really – “What I say to you is this – it is right that we are good” and other meaningless, patronizing twaddle.
He does a wee underline using the d’s on the Vow signature… chancer!
I know for a fact that I have never looked so closely at what is promised, pledged or vowed by any party in the run up to a general election, than I have this one.
None of the parties, bar the SNPs promises, pledges or vows stand up to any scrutiny whatsoever.
Has it not ever been so? Difference is this time, that I recognise this fact and it was due to my own shortcomings and ignorance that I continued to make the same mistake time after time.
Thanks to Better Together and their Labour and Tory backers I will not be making that mistake ever again. I am wiser now.
I love hearing the Labour faithful wailing in faux pain, I delight in every scream, for they have brought this upon themselves. They are guilty of betrayal of their own principles, those of their party and the working classes, so now must face the consequences for their actions.
Labour will now be in limbo in Scotland, a party without purpose and soon to suffer the fate of purgatory, deservedly so.
and a partridge in a pear tree
“and an end to dinosaur attacks.”
Good, so Gordzilla, Wilson, Foulkes, Robertson and many others would stop slagging Scotland?
test
result!
Wow, Rev.!
Just taking this in…
Yep, got it!
Vapidity Max! Wish I could copyright it. ????
Chic McGregor says
1. I will vote SNP.
2. I will not vote Labour.
3. I will not vote Tory.
4. I will not vote LibDem.
5. I will not regret any of the above – ever.
Now that’s five pledges, I can support.
Labour are still at the 12 inch LP stage of politics and the Scots have moved a warp speed into digital.
Same old, same old.
It is all they have
Winning is more important for labour than any of their objectives come to fruition.
tony blair thought them that lessons. Ditch your principals, steer to the right, tell people what they want to hear! and lie if neccessary
His tenure as PM is judged not by what policies brought well being and reduced inequality, but how many times he won elections.
On reflection what will blair, brown and straw be judged on by historians, 1. Iraq War, 2. Iraq War and 3. Iraq War.
Point being, when you ditch your principals, you end up in bed with people who will lead you astray!
Fin McLennan
Don´t be too sure that Labour will be thrashed….there is always Murphy’s Late Swing to save the day for Labour and the Union.
They could have reduced those 5 pledges to one word
“Lovely”
Vote Labour for more Lovely
OK I can see Ed doesn’t want to do a Clegg but FFS!
@Croompenstein
I have a sinking feeling the VOW may be a hoax. Perhaps Ed will object to his signature being so amatuerishly forged by Mr Foote.
Apologies for the four question marks at 7.40 p.m.. They started life as an emoji death’s head.
Answers, please, on a post card.
This week and in with a bullet on The Vague Top Ten its Ed and The Unwinged Monkeys with their tribute cover of Simple Minds “Something somewhere in sometime or other”
1. A strong economic foundation – what does that mean and how will it be achieved? How will we know when we have it? Twaddle statement if ever there was one.
2. Higher living standards for working families – which ones? The ones on minimum wage? The ones on average wage? The ones who earn oner £100K? And what about non-working families? Another garbage statement.
3. An NHS with the time to care – so we have an NHS that doesn’t care at the moment? Well done for insulting the hard work of hundreds of thousands of public workers. That’s sure to be a vote winner.
4. Controls on immigration – what controls? How many? What about the immigrants we need who already pick our crops or keep our care homes running? Controls on immigration already exist. How do you want to change them. And wasn’t your leader’s father an immigrant? And aren’t the vast majority of people living on these islands of immigrant origin? But why worry about that if you are pursuing lowest common denominator populsim.
5. A country where the next generation can do better than the last – well they can’t precisely because of the economic mess Brown and Darling presided over. Do you never stop to think why young people won’t vote for you? Your legacy to them means that in their eyes you are what Thatcherism is to mine.
As Mrs Brown would say, “That’s nice”.
Tesco due to an immigrant: both Marks and Spencer were immigrants, Marconi AYE from Italian decent. Sean Connery from Irish decent.
Immigrants are either on benefits or working they can’t be doing both.
Just saying! If Polish people are opening businesses then they are creating jobs. Unlike USA franchises they would be paying taxes. That’s good is it not?
I read somewhere today that Vladimir Putin has made himself scarce.
Would that we had leaders of that class in the UK.
[…] The lemon pledges […]
What no apple pie? Or motherhood, on today of all days?
Look on the bright side though, Stu. Makes an *almost* pleasant change from the last set of lies/vacuous pish we had to listen to, such as:-
1. Pooling and sharing
2. A strong Scottish Parliament in a strong UK
3. Home Rule/near federalism
4. The NHS is safe with a No vote
5. Independence will make your relatives in England “foreigners” (ref. the latest pledge card, oh the irony…)
People come to the UK /Europe to be safer. The US/UK M15/CIA foreign policies are the reason for migration into Europe, since the 1950’s. There is documentary evidence of the campaigns by US/UK M15/CIA to take other countries assets and oil revenues.They can’t keep it secret. The destabilising of the Middle East was the objective. They illegally invade and create havoc. Everyone is sick of it. They support absolute despot monarchies and illegally invade more progressive regimes. Blair/Bush/Brown should be in jail.
I thought the same about the propaganda leaflet I got through the door last week – totally vague and devoid of any information despite the whole point of it purportedly being to inform the electorate… I mean the people of Scotland.
Whoever authorised 1.5mill for an information leaflet that has next to no information on the ‘extensive new powers’ should be dunked in a vat of urine.
O/T Not sure if this has been extensively flagged up already – apologies if it has. I just remembered that David Cockburn referred again and again to Humza Yousef as Hamza on the Scotland 2015 debate on immigration early last week.
I thought at the time he was just being an ignoramus for not knowing a fellow panelist’s actual name but now it turns out that he knew full well Humza’s name but was just being an absolute cockbag over and over again.
Has there ever been a more useless, objectionable human being with zero positive qualities in public life in the UK? He should be similarly I submerged In urine.
The white paper produced for last years independence referendum was over 600 pages but didn’t provide enough information for the unionists.
For this election they have produced a document that consists of 5 bullet points.
They expect folk to elect them on the back of that effort?
Tony Blair is a conceited liar. Where’s the Chilcot verdict being held up by unelected civil servants. Some democracy? Why is the supposed impartial Royal family getting involved in illegal wars, again.
I think the leaflet may be aimed at the “gleg sneggin” demographic, what’s left of them, maybe even written by one of them.
Scotland’s Changing: according to the graphics we don’t have a culture.
Nothing Scottish about it, a hollow gesture from Rebrand Scotland by the look of it.
Anyone know what Acanchi are up to these days?
Bland, uninspiring.
Looks more like an advert for a 2 star retirement home.
Found this wee pome by unknown
Drugs are fur plugs
And ah ken coz ah’ve tried ’em
Tean aw ma braincells and virtually fried ’em
Destroyed ’em, deployed ’em
Ah wished ah’d enjoyed ’em
Ma mis spent use.
@Thepnr
‘I love hearing the Labour faithful wailing in faux pain, I delight in every scream, for they have brought this upon themselves. They are guilty of betrayal of their own principles, those of their party and the working classes, so now must face the consequences for their actions.’
Yesterday, in Saltcoats, Labour had a stall just up from our shared SNP/SSP stall. Our wallpaper table looked less knackered than theirs, and we had wee yellow furry sticker things to give to the weans. Have to say though, they were team-handed – never, during the entire indy-ref campaign, did we see so many of them in the one place at the one time.
Didn’t recognise any of the Labour folk (only one was positively identified as a local) and Katy Clark didn’t put in an appearance. They looked mightily pissed off most of the time, and were very very quiet, perhaps because one of our people kept loudly proclaiming that ‘the wattered-doon Tories ower there are in for a proper pasting’ (cue the wallpaper table…).
They packed-up and bolted after an hour. It was Baltic right enough, but I’m sure it was more than the cold which drove them away – the reaction they were getting from the guid folk of Saltcoats was even frostier. Things will surely heat up over the next few weeks, but these people know they’re onto plums It’s profoundly satisfying to witness their bewilderment first-hand – payback time after their repulsive crowing last Sept.
@Legerwood says:15 March, 2015 at 7:13 pm:
“Labour seem wedded to their credit size pledge cards.
They are so yesterday.
Err! Legerwood, is it the pledge cards or the Labour Party that are so yesterday? Enquiring minds need to know.
Let’s face it neither Labour Uk nor Scottish branch of labour have absolutely nothing to offer any voter.
In which case, why would anyone want to vote for Labour then? Those that do must be sheep voting SLab because they’ve been told to. Following the tribal vote because they are unable to see the truth before them.
Those so-called pledges are just nonsense & if that’s their manifesto then I think there’s going to be many more people seeing that they have nothing to offer to anyone.
We now have the answer to Nicola’s question from her BBCQT appearance. She said if the Tories are so bad, why isn’t there a Labour landslide? Nothing to vote for is the answer & that goes for both parties.
No wonder Labour is haemorrhaging support both north & south of the border.
The only parties seemingly able to offer anything to any voters seem to be those making up the Progressive Alliance aka Greens, SNP & Plaid.
There is no point in voting for anyone else-just a wasted vote!
At least some appear to have their eyes open. No doubt due to the likes of the crap above offered to the electorate as “policy”.
Miliband aide: Labour could be extinct in a decade
link to archive.today
Yeah, lovely.
Soooooo the £30bn worth of austerity measures that Labour rubber stamped is going to deliver lovely land how precisely?
Since they’ve already aided and abetted in delivering a crap economic foundation, lower living standards an NHS which is, in their own words, in imminent and desperate peril, actively would have participated in erecting fucking border controls against Scots and brought in tuition fees limiting the life chances of the next several generations. Just why would we have a problem believing this latest scam?
FFS!
The graphics and layout of that card look cheap and aesthetically poor,even relative to the old one.It looks like it was designed 20 years ago,quite apart from the empty jaded message.
I take it the Milliband card will be used UK wide hopefully, or perhaps ‘Scottish’ Labour will release their own version with Murphys glue spattered signature scrawled afoot !
I hear Nick Clegg claiming, ” … the Lib/Dems are here to stay”, but is that not really the choice of the electorate to make?
Ahhhh …just like that old saying…
The more things change; the more they remain the same…
Next I am giving every family in Scotland two weeks in Florida and thats not all I’ll throw in all you can eat buffet.
Tonight Vote SLab or else rancid Graun says its not a deeply racist newspaper and calling Scots incestuous sadomasochists dancing in kilts is only their fun way of attacking stuff they don’t like.
link to archive.today
SO when you ask our imperial masters why HS2, 3, 4, 5… all end at Leeds and come nowhere near even the Scottish border, all the creeps at rancid Graun pile in with,
“he says his real intention was to examine ‘the irrational, atavistic urges at the root of Scottish or indeed any form of nationalism’.
Or, keep your head down Scots, a not racist bearded thug from The Guardian will be after you.
Now I’m off for an evening of incest, folk dancing, S&M and all in my kilt, safe word, Steve Bell’s a racist coward and makes the neo fascists at the DailY Heil look nice and fluffy.
Spot on Robert P-it is the electorate’s choice to make not the parties themselves-they can only remain in existence if people are daft enough to vote for them.
Well in a few weeks we shall see!
Robert @8.59 pm
Both. In the spirit of austerity I was being economical with my use of words.
Austerity?
Help to buy or ‘help to further inflate the housing bubble and make bankers fatter’ – £10BN cost to tax payer….
Scot goes Pop update on poll of polls. He seems to be happy!
link to scotgoespop.blogspot.co.uk
Surely if Scottish Labour are going to treat 100,000 more patients by saving £100 million then UK Labour should be treating 1,000,000 more patients and saving £1000 million.
And if 250,000 under 18’s in Scotland then 2,500,000 in UK coming of benefits and into work.
Of course assuming Scottish Labour is not just an accounting unit and is stand alone as John Murphy states.
@Ian B
Great to see the SSP and SNP co-operating.
More power tae yer elbows.
Tomorrow’s front page of The National;
link to twitter.com
How about
F..k You… Multiply by however many you’d like
Surely there must be at least one very elderly Labour supporter who on reading that list will say to themselves apart from the bit on immigration, insist that what we started out wanting when we first formed a government?
Vote Scotland, Vote SNP!
Awesome set of detailed policies, well costed and articulately set out. With this level of genius why are they so low in the opinion polls? Must be that glue sniffing monkey.
I see Emma Harper is still needing £850 to get her fundraiser over the line, with two days to go.
Unseating David Mundell is such a worthwhile cause, don’t you think?
link to indiegogo.com
More vote Slab or else fun, right now BBC R4, demanding over and over “why wont you rule out SNP deal nice Mr Labour man, that nice Mr Clegg has?”
link to archive.today
Because the whole of tory boy world are doing everything and anything to stop it right now, you condescending shill.
Well let’s be fair, Rev, except for number 4, that very much sounds like the Tory platform to me!
Given they’ve already threatened a Yes vote would leave us vulnerable to attacks from space, North Korea and undefined cataclysms, I wouldn’t rule anything out.
I note these points from the leaflet:
“get 250,000 under-25 year-olds off benefit and into work”
Even back then the seeds were being sown, eh?
“fast-track punishment for persistent young offenders”
Especially with “punishment” in such close juxtaposition to “off benefit.”
I don’t really follow their thinking. Do they seriously imagine that if the Labour Powers that Be announce that they’ll never do a deal with the SNP to keep themselves in power, everyone in Scotland is just going to shrug their shoulders and vote Labour?
It’s way beyond that now. There’s some sort of collective zeitgeist happening, and it’s not going to be turned back by any calculating threat to sideline elected MPs.
I see Auntie Annabel is doing her damnedest to smear the 2007-11 SNP government by falsely claiming to have done a deal with Salmond to back the SNP administration. She was guddled like a trout to vote for that first budget, and after that none of the opposition parties had the nerve to bring down the minority government.
Now she’s trying to pretend there was a deal, to smear the SNP with the “deals with Tories” brush. Deceitful, lying cow.
@Morag says:15 March, 2015 at 10:30 pm:
“I see Emma Harper is still needing £850 to get her fundraiser over the line, with two days to go …”
link to indiegogo.com
Contribution just made, Morag, the total reads £4386 now.
Comment made, “Gawn yersel an beat Mundell”.
How’s that for a slogan?
Not so long ago I recall you saying there wasn’t a chance in hell of unseating Mundell – do you still think so?
;-))
@Marcia (9.56) –
Well, that is tantalising indeed – have a wee feeling that tomorrow’s Moodie could be a cut-out-and-keep classic.
call me dave
Poll of polls so far,
SNP 45.3% (+3.2)
Labour 25.5% (-1.4)
Conservatives 17.7% (-1.0)
Liberal Democrats 4.9% (-0.5)
Greens 3.2% (-0.4)
UKIP 2.9% (-0.1)
This ties in nicely with Maria and the “National” headlines tomorrow,
“Nearly 70% of Scots believe Independence is inevitable.”
Go Scotland!
The total is standing at $4491 now, so there’s a good chance of it getting to the target. Which better than halves the Indiegogo fee.
I personally will pass out on the spot if we unseat Mundell. That doesn’t mean there’s no chance of it happening, it’s just that it’s one of the less likely seats for us to take. It may depend on a collapse in the Labour vote in the direction of the SNP, which is a bit frustrating as there aren’t all that many Labour voters round here to work on.
Ashcroft has us in with a shout, so we’re going to shout and see what happens.
@Morag says:
“I see Emma Harper is still needing £850 to get her fundraiser over the line, with two days to go …”
link to indiegogo.com
£459 needed now.
Ooh, it’s become £4541 while I was writing that. Only £459 to go.
Ian Brotherhood
I was down at the beach for a wee day out yesterday. South Shore. Then walked along to Saltcoats, Didn’t see any Red Tories or your good self.
I even walked round the back of the Red Tory Social Club, down to the beach there. It was baltic by the way.
I did shout in the window of the Labour club, reminding them of what colour of Tory they are.
I’m a bit of a regular down that way. Lovely beaches, when it’s sunny.
I am sitting contemplating the anomalous constituency that elects Jim Murphy. It is considered to contain a significant majority of Tories but is represented by a Labour MP who gets a lot of support apparently from natural Tory voters
It does however contain Neilston and Barrhead (or Borrheid as I remember it) which are Labour inclined communities.
What we are looking at here is a Labour candidate trying to save his seat using Tory voters while his Labour voters probably vote SNP.
I’m not usually cynical but if May 7th looks like a close run thing between Tory and Labour for Westminster wouldn’t some Tory voters be seriously tempted to vote SNP to knock out a Labour candidate (who has now been exposed as a complete pratt)
Re unseating Mundell, if you haven’t seen Alex Salmond’s talk at the Dumfries Burns Supper it’s well worth a watch, he waxes lyrical on ‘fluffy’
link to Www.youtu.be
Ah tried to make the above link Wings friendly and it doesn’t work, sorry, check you tube for Wee Eck and Fluffy video
You know, some attention needs to be drawn to this one.
link to indiegogo.com
Still only a quarter of the way there and only a day to go. I used to live in that constituency and I’d love to see the back of Frank Roy.
John Cruddas, labour policy coordinator? That must be a zero hours contract then.
Hi Morag, donated to Emma Harper’s campaign, I would love to see the back of Mundell, if only because of his attacks on Mark Simon Frankland.
@ian
Having a knackered wallpaper table is classy! Ours has survived since the early days of the Yes campaign & is held together with duct tape and cable ties. We’re determined to make it last to the 2016 campaign & beyond!
@ dakk, 9:14pm
They’re just being vague as usual.
The same is true for ‘corporate values’ these days. ‘Integrity, training, Performance, teamwork’
Our corporate mission statement: to be ‘an underperforming company of idiots you can’t trust’.
ndigo: at 12:27 am
ndigo Fixed it for you.
I noticed your second card was signed by Teflon Tony, and on it he promised:
Get 250,000 under-25 year-olds of benefit and into work
So let us actually look at real life down on the NuLabour funny farm at that time.
April 2009
Alistair Darling’s budget pledge: ‘we won’t throw a generation on to jobs scrapheap’.
November 2009
Secret Labour plan to axe spending on training for young people.
Graphical overview
Youth unemployment during the NuLabour government.
By the way it was David Miliband who spilled the beans on NuLabour.
Desimond says @ 8.01pm
“This week and in with a bullet on The Vague Top Ten its Ed and The Unwinged Monkeys with their tribute cover of Simple Minds “Something somewhere in sometime or other””
Dropping out of the charts like a piano without a parachute,
Dave Dee, Dozy,(Alexander) Beak (Cable), Mick(Osborne) and Tich (Clegg)
with “Bend it (over)”
______________________________________________________________
BtP says @
“Labour are still at the 12 inch LP stage of politics”
Surely you mean EP(election pledge),
ah’ll… eh… just go now, go now, go now, GO NOW
link to youtube.com
___________________________________________________________
Tam Jardine says @ 8.45pm
“Has there ever been a more useless, objectionable human being with zero positive qualities in public life in the UK? He should be similarly submerged In urine.”
Junkies pish
link to youtube.com
____________________________________________________________
Dr Jim says @ 9.56pm
“How about
F..k You… Multiply by however many you’d like”
Thats the leaflet for distribution on the 9th of May. 🙂
__________________________________________________________
Morag says @ 10.30pm
“I see Emma Harper is still needing £850 to get her fundraiser over the line, with two days to go.”
I looked and it was £4666
“The Deils awa wi the exciseman”
_____________________________________________________________
Morag says @10.53
“She was guddled like a trout to vote for that first budget”
MA PORRIDGE!
Aa cannae think of anything less edifying thing tickling Annabel Goldies belly!
__________________________________________________________
Has anybody read this?
link to heraldscotland.com
Rev, get your hammer and bring one for each of us,
we’ll help ye!
caz-m says:
“I was down at the beach for a wee day out yesterday. South Shore. Then walked along to Saltcoats, Didn’t see any Red Tories..”
Naw, mate, if you keep walking along the shore towards Stevenston you’ll find them all in the Slaughterhouse, next to Sandylands.
😉
[…] A lot of people this week quoted a line supposedly from the former Labour cabinet minister Roy Jenkins, which runs “a statement is only interesting if a sane man could say the opposite”. We haven’t been able to verify if he ever really said that or not, but it doesn’t really matter, because it’s true either way. […]
Should have added to my post above (@ 9.20am).
If you wish to view the last of these prehistoric creatures you had better get yourself along to that abattoir pronto – the last of them will be wiped out and the cull overwith by 7th May 2015.
🙂
Hi John King.
I read that review from Friday 16 June 2000.
A fine talent.
What’s the context? Eh’m perpluzzled. Eh’m missin’ sumhin, iye?
BDTT
“What’s the context? Eh’m perpluzzled. Eh’m missin’ sumhin, iye?”
No paragraph breaks,
DEATH SENTENCE HAS BEEN PASSED!
AH! Got it now.