Scottish Labour won a council by-election in Fife last night, held after the long-serving Communist Party/independent councillor Willie Clarke (who can be seen on the last page of our Charlie Hebdo feature here) stepped down due to ill health.
The successful candidate Mary Lockhart was understandably jubilant, but there were a couple of what seemed like pertinent facts missing from the local paper’s report.
One thing you can always guarantee on GERS Day is that the latest set of figures for Scotland’s devolved economy inside the UK will trigger another uncontrolled spurt of “SNP HONEYMOON OVER” articles from the nation’s dogged commentariat.
Today we’ve seen already examples (links below) from two ex-Scotsman editors, Iain Martin and Magnus Linklater, the latter popping up in the Times by way of a rather crass and unpleasant analogy involving Oswald Mosley and the Blackshirts.
And since we’d rather watch “Suicide Squad” again than spend any more time going over the arguments about GERS (and trust us, readers, we don’t say that lightly), we thought it’d be more fun if we finally got round to compiling a semi-definitive list of all the times the collective wisdom of Scotland’s media and opposition has confidently predicted the SNP’s imminent demise.
We originally wrote this article in March, in response to the Government Expenditure and Revenue Scotland (better known as GERS) figures for 2014-15. We’ve updated it to take account of events since that time, of which there’s been one rather major one.
Today saw the publication (just five months after the 2014-15 GERS) of the 2015-16 stats, which are again triggering a convulsive orgy of “BLACK HOLE!” articles across the media, as every Unionist in the land falls over themselves to portray their own country as a useless scrounging subsidy junkie without actually using the exact words “too wee, too poor, too stupid”.
And once again, everywhere you look there’s a “Proud Scot” screaming about how the figures – showing an essentially unchanged “deficit” despite an almost £2bn fall in oil revenue – destroy a case for independence that those same people have spent most of the last four years stridently insisting never existed in the first place.
So let’s be absolutely clear: if Jeremy Corbyn wins the Labour leadership election next month, as almost everyone expects him to, the UK (and therefore Scotland) is doomed to Conservative rule until at least 2025.
That’s not our view, but the official public position of the leader of Scottish Labour.
Should there be a second independence referendum in the next few years, Scotland’s choice will be a clear one: a generation of brutal Tory austerity, isolated from Europe (losing out on billions of pounds in funding) and the protections of the Human Rights Act, or taking responsibility for ourselves.
And every time Kezia Dugdale or her Labour colleagues in Better Together 2.0 protest that there’s another option she’ll be contradicted not by angry nationalists, but by her own words. So we’re sure everyone on all sides of the debate in Scotland will be watching the outcome of the leadership contest with interest. There’s a lot at stake.
Today’s Sunday Times didn’t bother with any subtlety in its signalling of how people should expect the Scottish media to handle next week’s GERS figures.
There’ll be nothing but repeats of all last year’s articles in the papers, so there doesn’t seem to be much point in re-writing all the rebuttals. We’d advise readers not to expect to hear any of the facts or arguments in any of the above articles aired on TV or radio discussions of the new figures either. For the sake of your blood pressure, it’s probably best to stick to old QI repeats on Dave for the next eight days.
For several years now this site has been drawing attention to the weird phenomenon of phantom news – stories presented by the media without even a shred of supporting evidence yet treated as unquestionable empirical fact. And recently there have been more phantoms around the Scottish press than an episode of Scooby Doo.
The thing Alan Roden – who prefers intimidating ordinary members of the public by doorstepping them and vilifying them in his paper – links to in that tweet is an article on the Herald website last night. And it’s a weird article, because it’s an extensive, quote-laden story about something that doesn’t appear to have happened at all.
Mark Beggan on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “@Geri I was going to lend you my first edition copy of 1984 but it would be like giving a…” Mar 28, 01:18
Geri on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “That’s an aye then & even I spotted that in two seconds flat. PS, you do know yer ballot is…” Mar 27, 23:03
Mark Beggan on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “That’s like asking a pedophile to take charge of the day care centre.” Mar 27, 21:23
Mark Beggan on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: ““A lie told often enough becomes the truth.” Vladimir Lenin.” Mar 27, 21:06
Mark Beggan on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: ““The price we pay for freedom is the right to disagree.” Benjamin Franklin.” Mar 27, 21:00
Mark Beggan on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Are you scared James? Because if the Fascists get power in England and Wales it’s good night woo woo land.” Mar 27, 20:54
Mark Beggan on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Maybe Ayes an maybe Naws. Like the Indy election you’ll never know. That’s the beauty of the ballot box.” Mar 27, 20:49
Alf Baird on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “One wonders whose rights public inquiries undertaken within colonial societies would seek to defend, the colonizer or the colonized?” Mar 27, 20:41
agentx on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Captain Caveman says: I’m a Reform voter and I’m still here. _______________________________________________- thanks – you could have said that the…” Mar 27, 19:40
Geri on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Have you heard what ex Tory MP Andrew Bridgen says about these gangs? Go watch him whistleblow what is really…” Mar 27, 19:35
Captain Caveman on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “You asked were there any Reform voters left on here and I said “Hi!” Not really sure how ambiguous that…” Mar 27, 19:12
Geri on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Was there any to begin with? They’re just disgruntled Tories. Same shit, different party. Do we know what it is…” Mar 27, 19:12
agentx on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: ““On February 25, 2026, the Scottish Government ordered a public inquiry into grooming gangs, marking a significant shift in position…” Mar 27, 19:10
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “BLOG PÀRLAMAID NA h-ALBA Fiosrachadh is naidheachd bho Phàrlamaid na h-Alba Tha an seisean pàrlamaideach a-nis air tighinn gu crìch…” Mar 27, 19:07
Mo on In Your Name: “They all need punted asap! #WomenAndChildrensSafetyMatters” Mar 27, 18:47
Young Lochinvar on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Thanks Lorncal I’m sick of “demeaning and discriminatory” whining ie because it’ll find you out. I don’t know if it’s…” Mar 27, 18:45
Mo on In Your Name: “They all need punted asap! #WomenAndChildrensSafetyMatters” Mar 27, 18:45
Captain Caveman on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Hi! 🙂 In a similar vein, are there any SNP, Labour, Green or Lib Dumb voters left on here? ‘Cause…” Mar 27, 18:27
twathater on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “WOW!!!! every word true and all it takes is for people to realise THIS is what has been happening for…” Mar 27, 18:18
Young Lochinvar on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Yes indeed Geri But the “upset” gays present at the time must have been Tories who were prepared to haud…” Mar 27, 18:13
twathater on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “The COWARDICE of Swinney should highlight to the brain dead voters of the Scum Nonce Party that this baldy arsehole…” Mar 27, 17:59
twathater on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “I remember the snp used to BOAST that HR was the gayest wee parliament in the world , now they…” Mar 27, 17:50
Lorncal on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Minorities are usually backed by people who have another agenda altogether and would dispense with the minority as soon as…” Mar 27, 17:25
Lorncal on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “The science is relatively simple, YL. Cheek swabs are DNA tested. All the cells in the human body will show…” Mar 27, 16:52
Mark Beggan on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Baby Senator Kennedy says; The Democrats have changed their minds on Homeland Security quicker than a one legged cat in…” Mar 27, 14:25
