I’ve always been obsessed, in cultural terms, with pivot points: the precise moments at which something significant changes irreversibly.
They can be a goal that ushers in a football team’s golden era – for me, Alex McLeish putting Aberdeen level in the 1982 Scottish Cup final. They can be a twist in a movie, like (first example that comes to mind) the shocking revelation of the bad guy in LA Confidential. They can spring out of nowhere, like the latter, or be something that was visibly on the way but finally crystallises, like the former.
Humza Yousaf is played here by Morgan Freeman, the big plane carrying the bomb is the independence movement and Rishi Sunak and Keir Starmer are in the chopper.
At least, we assume there was a sizeable current being passed through it, as little else could explain the visibly uncomfortable half-hour experienced by hapless Stonewall chair Iain Anderson with Beth Rigby last night, or the seemingly random changes every few seconds in his facial expressions, body language and accent.
(Just about the only constant, other than his sweating top lip, was the deeply irritating modern phenomenon of stupid people starting every sentence with the word “So…”.)
If you’re a connoisseur of vacuous, nervous awkwardness you’re in for a real treat. If you want to see a human being actually answering any questions with even the tiniest shred of coherence, pertinence or honesty, maybe give it a miss.
It is our solemn duty to inform readers that deranged, shovel-handed Scottish Greens member and known associate of rapists and paedophiles Scott “Heather” Herbert has taken the hump at a Wings article from yesterday in which he was satirically featured.
He filed a malicious false copyright claim with YouTube which resulted in a silent video clip from the article showcasing his comically gigantic man-hands being scheduled for deletion, despite Herbert owning no copyright in the video (it’s the property of TalkTV, who have raised no objections to it) and having no legal standing to file any complaint.
But YouTube’s abysmal automated structures operate on the basis that all complaints are intrinsically valid, and allow absolutely no way for Wings to appeal this decision.
He popped up on Talk TV last night, explaining how a middle-aged man twerking at a number of very young children – some of whom seemed visibly distressed – during a recent Pride march was fine because maybe the children had asked him to (which they manifestly hadn’t), and anyway it was their parents’ fault that it happened.
And, y’know, readers can make their own judgements about that.
Tuesday’s front page headline in The National was roughly the political equivalent of introducing yourself to your new next-door neighbour by saying “Hi, nice to meet you, I’m Jimmy from No.22 and it definitely wasn’t me who killed your cat last night”.
Humza Yousaf’s great masterplan of an independence strategy is imploding faster than the OceanGate Titan, and scarcely any less disastrously. And unless you’re one of the colleagues, family or friends of the tragic victims on board the doomed vessel, it’s even more painful to watch.
Still wondering what Humza Yousaf’s going to say to the SNP’s pretend “conference” on independence strategy this coming Saturday? Well, wonder no longer, because this morning he told Sky News.
In other words, he’s waving the white flag and praying for a miracle.
Hatey McHateface on The Final Robbery: “Nah. No third-world country plays in the big league. The big league contains but two countries anyway – the Orcs…” May 25, 21:30
Hatey McHateface on The Final Robbery: ““genuinely baffled by the supine nature of the media in Scotland” Keep an eye on the by-elections being fought in…” May 25, 21:26
Chas on The Final Robbery: “Murrell steals hundreds of thousand of pounds. His ‘wife’ simply did not see any of the new purchases. Treasurer and…” May 25, 21:24
Southernbystander on The Final Robbery: “I think the victims are the whole nation of Scotland who have been taken for a ride by their corrupt…” May 25, 21:22
Hatey McHateface on The Final Robbery: “Maybe you get to revise Welsh, Alf, when sales of your book exceed sales of his. Then there are the…” May 25, 21:20
Hatey Mchateface on The Final Robbery: ““Yabadabadoo will have the video tho tae add tae his Eppy collection” Of course, Geri. It’s always the Jews, isn’t…” May 25, 21:13
Southernbystander on The Final Robbery: “Just like Johnson, Farage and Trump. Compare to Starmer (whatever you think of him) where every misdemeanour is shouted from…” May 25, 21:10
Alf Baird on The Final Robbery: ““it is shite being Scottish” I think what Renton really meant to say, had Irvine Welsh and other Scottish intellectuals…” May 25, 21:02
Hatey Mchateface on The Final Robbery: “What took you so long, Alf?” May 25, 20:51
100%Yes on The Final Robbery: “Why is there no mention of the 600k referendum fund?” May 25, 20:45
100%Yes on The Final Robbery: “I’ll vote for Reform to stop the SNP.” May 25, 20:42
Geri on The Final Robbery: “Things could be worse. It’s not like they sold honours, took cash for questions, sold blow jobs in the foreign…” May 25, 20:40
100%Yes on The Final Robbery: “Robin is angry and why not everyone has devoted their lives to the SNP and Independence. I’d have a read…” May 25, 20:21
Skip_NC on The Final Robbery: “Ouch. That is a good read and impossible to argue against. Thanks for mentioning it.” May 25, 20:15
LondonScot on The Final Robbery: “PM was originally charged with stealing £460K. He admitted to £400K today. I recall that he generously ‘lent’ the party…” May 25, 19:22
Socrates MacSporran on The Final Robbery: “Tonight, in one of the gentlemen’s clubs in St James’ London, Mainwaring, Cholmondley-Warner, Carruthers, St John Smythe and the other…” May 25, 19:18
Dan on The Final Robbery: “A Reform supporter living in England would come out with such simplistic shite though… It’s a pity so many Scots…” May 25, 18:45
Mark Beggan on The Final Robbery: “Scotland is now in the big league of corrupt one party states.” May 25, 18:20
Run The Border on The Final Robbery: “<<>> I’m a soft-core yoon. I disagree with that. The UK is going bankrupt, the Labour government can’t organise a…” May 25, 18:19
twathater on The Final Robbery: “The fact that the wee ugly inside and out poisoned dwarf is still parading about with her lesbian train, unconcerned…” May 25, 18:05
Skip_NC on The Final Robbery: “The 400,000 Murrell admitted to thieving is almost certainly part of the 600,000. The rest of it was probably spent…” May 25, 18:04
100%Yes on The Final Robbery: “There lies the problem, who do you trust? I really don’t like SF but some how I reckon if he…” May 25, 17:52
David Ferguson on The Final Robbery: ““Since despite this strident yet self-evident lie Beattie was released without charge, we must assume that he is innocent of…” May 25, 17:49
Andy Wiltshire on The Final Robbery: “Hey Rev, has anyone (except on here) given you any credit at all over this? I certainly haven’t seen any.” May 25, 17:46
duncanio on The Final Robbery: “You are correct, my oversight. The other two were arrested and then released without charge. But I think my point,…” May 25, 17:46
James Barr Gardner on The Final Robbery: “Michael Paterson, 59, pled guilty at the High Court in Edinburgh of embezzling funds of £1,087,444.47. from Aberdeen City Council…” May 25, 17:45
Young Lochinvar on The Final Robbery: “You would think so. Plus the video of her telling people not to question the finances; is that not effectively…” May 25, 17:35
Minceheid on The Final Robbery: “The only problem with replacing Swinney is, who do you install in his place? It’s not as if there’s a…” May 25, 17:22
Mark Beggan on The Final Robbery: “If only the Muppets had been investigated as much as Mr Farage. This would never have happened. This would never…” May 25, 17:07
Mark Beggan on The Final Robbery: “Ok @Fakename. Never by a second hand car.” May 25, 17:05
