There’s not much going on in Scottish politics at the moment, but you know that when the media resorts to printing stuff from echo-skulled Tory mousewit Annie Wells, there can’t even have been any barrel left to scrape.
Grimly, the spelling in the headline is the LEAST embarrassing facet of the story.
It’s been a tough few days for the Daily Record. So maybe we should forgive this:
Let’s just enjoy those pie charts for a moment.
It’s an almost impossible task to identify the most despicable sewer-dredging piece of “journalism” that the Scottish press has spewed out in the past 10 days or so of demented obsession with as-yet-unsubstantiated allegations by two unnamed women against Alex Salmond, but today’s Sunday Mail must be a strong contender.
The paper runs a four-page orgy of hypocritical moralistic shrieking based on Salmond’s outrageous and unacceptable behaviour in, um, thanking the people who donated to his crowdfunder to challenge the process by which the story was improperly leaked to the media. The monster.
And if you think that’s a ludicrously thin basis on which to create a front-page splash and three pages of screaming drivel inside, wait until you actually see some of it.
It really takes some going to stand out for especially terrible journalism in the Scottish press this week, given the vast acres of page-space that are still being devoted to truly abysmal, and borderline legally-actionable, barrel-scraping articles about the recent allegations made against Alex Salmond. So hats off to perhaps the only man who could possibly have achieved it.
Ladies and gentlemen, who else but David Leask?
Let’s see just who we meet, shall we?
GERS Week is always a good time to catch Unionists saying mad stuff. But in the midst of a rant last night about (genuinely) how countries aren’t best running their own affairs but having other countries do it for them, the former “Better Together” chief, recent spectacularly failed Labour candidate and current [NOBODY KNOWS] Blair McDougall came out with a real peach.
We’re sure that the USA, Russia and China (to name but three off the top of our heads) will be startled and dismayed to learn that they’re no longer “serious” nations. But possibly not quite as surprised as the government of Denmark will be to learn that they’re in a monetary union with France.
We did a poll, and the people have spoken:
Um, who was actually the UK government in fiscal year 2009/10, lads?
It’s always nice to see Michelle Mone in the news again, especially when the Tory peer crowbars an attempted intervention into Scottish politics into everything she does.
And since there’s not much else going on, it seemed like a good excuse to have a wee delve into what she’s been up to lately.
Political pundits on both sides on the border often marvel at how the SNP appear able to defy the normal rules of electoral gravity, still holding a comfortable double-digit lead in the polls after more than 11 years in power. But there’s no great mystery to it, and the answer is simple, in several senses of that word.
Ladies and gentlemen, allow us to present to you Scottish Labour’s offering for who’d be in charge of all the Scottish Government’s money if the SNP weren’t in power – finance spokesman James Kelly MSP.
Let’s check those numbers, shall we?
Oh joy, it seems it’s time for the Scottish media’s annual cretinous non-story about the Scottish Government’s (entirely necessary and intrinsically unavoidable) “underspend”.
So as we’re busy today we’ll just refer you to some of the previous occasions we’ve covered it, because literally everything about it is exactly the same now as it was then.
See you same time next year, folks!
We’re seriously starting to think there’s some sort of competition going on among the Unionist parties of Scotland to see who’s the thickest. We’ve spent quite a bit of time pointing out the scarcely-believable dimness of the Scottish Conservative benches, but this week Scottish Labour really pulled out the stops to try to seize back the initiative.
As a warm-up act they came out swinging with one of their big hitters (which for taste reasons we’ve expressed as rhyming slang) in the form of our dear old pal and former Edinburgh South CLP chair Duncan Hothersall – last seen attacking a six-year-old girl for selling 50p cups of lemonade to thirsty festivalgoers – who impressively contrived to badly lose an argument with a bridge.
But hilarious as that was, it wasn’t the high point by a distance.
Yesterday was quite an eventful day, so it’s moderately possible you may have missed the alarming news that some shady Mafia-backed hedge fund or such has apparently funded these irresponsible and morally-suspect chancers (last seen shilling on air for literally Vladimir Putin and BBC Scotland, in that order) to produce an all-new series of scurrilous and dubious fact-grubbing for some inexplicable reason.
We have alerted the appropriate authorities. For safety, remain in your homes.
Because the World Cup starts today, and with these guys doing our job for us, we’re not really sure we need to be here.
Wings Over Scotland is a thing that exists.
