Political pundits on both sides on the border often marvel at how the SNP appear able to defy the normal rules of electoral gravity, still holding a comfortable double-digit lead in the polls after more than 11 years in power. But there’s no great mystery to it, and the answer is simple, in several senses of that word.
Ladies and gentlemen, allow us to present to you Scottish Labour’s offering for who’d be in charge of all the Scottish Government’s money if the SNP weren’t in power – finance spokesman James Kelly MSP.
So as we’re busy today we’ll just refer you to some of the previous occasions we’ve covered it, because literally everything about it is exactly the same now as it was then.
We’re seriously starting to think there’s some sort of competition going on among the Unionist parties of Scotland to see who’s the thickest. We’ve spent quite a bit of time pointing out the scarcely-believable dimness of the Scottish Conservative benches, but this week Scottish Labour really pulled out the stops to try to seize back the initiative.
Yesterday was quite an eventful day, so it’s moderately possible you may have missed the alarming news that some shady Mafia-backed hedge fund or such has apparently funded these irresponsible and morally-suspect chancers (last seen shilling on air for literally Vladimir Putin and BBC Scotland, in that order) to produce an all-new series of scurrilous and dubious fact-grubbing for some inexplicable reason.
We have alerted the appropriate authorities. For safety, remain in your homes.
And no, we don’t even mean the FOUR spelling mistakes in this 42-word tweet.
We mean the bit that we’ve highlighted above in blue. Because what Scottish Labour’s lowest-watt bulb was gloating about earlier today was that Lord Bracadale concluded there’d been no gap created in the law by the Kelly-driven abolition of the OBFA.
And that’s… well, that’s not quite what Lord Bracadale said.
After 27 unbroken pages of royal wedding “news” (following on from a full 46 in its Sunday edition), the Scottish Daily Mail finally gets down to reporting other stuff today.
“Union support rising”, eh? Do we have any numbers on that?
Today’s Daily Record runs with a bizarre story lifted from yesterday’s Guardian, which resurrected the media’s longstanding but latterly-dormant hate campaign against the Scottish Government’s popular “baby box” initiative.
As alert readers will recall, nowadays we only look at the Scottish Daily Express if we’re absolutely desperate for material, so this piece slipped past us a few days ago:
And since the only thing in the papers today is page after page of unbearable fawning drivel about the stupendously insignificant (fifth in line to the throne, will never ever be king unless a terrorist blows up Buckingham Palace with an atomic bomb, is roughly as important to the wellbeing of the nation as Hamilton Accies’ third-choice goalkeeper) royal baby, we figured we may as well have a look at it now.
Hatey McHateface on Like Responsible Citizens Do: “Hoho, Spartan, twathater has you bang to rights. You’ve been enabling and celebrating their corruption for far too long. High…” Sep 14, 19:46
Hatey McHateface on Like Responsible Citizens Do: “If they’re largely Muslim with a Christian minority, they give us advance warning of what Scotland will likely be in…” Sep 14, 19:39
Spartan 117 on Like Responsible Citizens Do: “Ahem. I was criticising the blatant hypocrisy, not supporting Reform. I also made the point that Nigel and his TechBros…” Sep 14, 19:13
M.E on Like Responsible Citizens Do: “> “is isn’t fit for anything.” Your grammar checker ain’t isn’t is fit for anything, Stu. Also the way you…” Sep 14, 18:56
Spartan 117 on Like Responsible Citizens Do: “I think the graphic to the right of this page titled “A Tall Tale” composing a pastiche of laughable front…” Sep 14, 18:47
bumsrush on Like Responsible Citizens Do: “I admit to just a cursory reading of the Proceeds of Crimes Acts but it does appear Stu has taken…” Sep 14, 18:44
Bonzo Dogg on Like Responsible Citizens Do: “In this case a Citizen’s arrest is not appropriate, not least because you have to establish that detention is necessary…” Sep 14, 18:43
twathater on Like Responsible Citizens Do: ““The only thing that will defeat this blatant corruption will be diligent investigative journalism and holding the corrupt to account.”…” Sep 14, 18:29
agentx on Like Responsible Citizens Do: ““Why the Rule Was Changed Historically, the common law presumed that a wife was under the total coercion and control…” Sep 14, 18:19
Chas on Like Responsible Citizens Do: “Again I note that the missive is unsigned. Somebody is clearly watching their back or has been instructed!” Sep 14, 18:16
Dan on Like Responsible Citizens Do: “Well done Stuart for doing this. Though tbh I am a bit miffed nobody else had done this already after…” Sep 14, 18:02
Marie on Like Responsible Citizens Do: “It’s a flag recognised throughout the world as the flag of Palestine. Do you despise Palestinians because they are Arabs…” Sep 14, 17:22
Mark Beggan on Like Responsible Citizens Do: “There’s more interest online about Sturgeon being reported to the police than there is about the devolved powers announcement. Just…” Sep 14, 17:16
Spartan 117 on Like Responsible Citizens Do: “https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cn5dlq35v2xo 2nd Indyref “By 2031” carrot being dangled by Honest John.” Sep 14, 17:04
Nicky T Naquetti on Like Responsible Citizens Do: “In an ideal world, the Sturgeon would also be charged with possesion of a “Fray Bentos” hair-do, and possession of…” Sep 14, 17:02
Spartan 117 on Like Responsible Citizens Do: “Good. Keep at it Stu. The only thing that will defeat this blatant corruption will be diligent investigative journalism and…” Sep 14, 16:56
Socrates MacSporran on Like Responsible Citizens Do: “It is, I feel, approaching the moment when the high heid yins inside Thames House will convene and decide: “Agent…” Sep 14, 16:31
Casper on Like Responsible Citizens Do: “Interesting, if only you were a flea on the wall eh. Good one. Guessing no Christmas cards with your name…” Sep 14, 16:05
Jamie on Like Responsible Citizens Do: “Is the reason why Nicola is not being charged with reset or anything else because Peter Murrell entered a plea…” Sep 14, 16:05
peter on Like Responsible Citizens Do: ““..paid for by her husband Peter Murrell WITH MONEY EMBEZZLED FROM THE SCOTTISH NATIONAL PARTY” I presume that needs to…” Sep 14, 14:56
TURABDIN on Like Responsible Citizens Do: “There are plenty of states in the UN who may be termed internally «unfit» nevertheless they are freer than Scotland.…” Sep 14, 14:54
Hatey McHateface on Like Responsible Citizens Do: “Sure, sarah, always the leaders. Never the saps who vote for the same leaders, decade after decade.” Sep 14, 14:50
Hatey McHateface on Like Responsible Citizens Do: “RESPECT! Might I just add that if this is stalled, the next step should be to organise a campaign in…” Sep 14, 14:30
am firinn on Like Responsible Citizens Do: “Exactly, Sarah. We can hardly be expected to clean up these Augean stables with a brush on loan from Westminster,…” Sep 14, 14:22
Andy Wiltshire on Like Responsible Citizens Do: “Anonymous again. Maybe they’re starting to sweat.” Sep 14, 14:13
100%Yes on Like Responsible Citizens Do: “Lets see what action the Police takes now and what her lawyer has to say.” Sep 14, 14:04
Mark Beggan on Like Responsible Citizens Do: “Make Scotland Normal Again. Believe in your country. Never trust a hippy.” Sep 14, 13:37