I went to “Dunkirk” at the cinema today. If you want to know what it’s like, just watch this trailer 40 times in a row and save yourself the £12.
It’s a poor movie, disjointed and aimless and curiously lacking in tension or narrative given the real-life subject matter. (It’s remarkably short on dialogue, which is lucky because you can barely make out any of what little script or story there is from behind the endlessly howling one-note airhorn of the soundtrack. It’s a bit like someone filmed an IKEA assembly manual in live action during a Formula 1 race.)
But I couldn’t help thinking that part of the reason it was so unengaging was because it felt akin to watching a boxing match between two fighters you don’t like. If Mike Tyson took on Tyson Fury, would you cheer for the rapist or the anti-Semitic homophobe?
Deep in the summer news desert, the papers today are struggling for material again. The Sunday Herald has a shock-horror front-page exposé about some photos from an Orange Lodge party that turn out to be from 2010 and 2013, while the Scottish Mail On Sunday reaches all the way back to 1940 to fill a couple of pages.
We were intrigued to hear Labour activist Duncan Hothersall tell radio listeners this morning that his party’s opposition to independence was rooted in “Labour values”, and most specifically by his assertion that “nationalism and socialism are opposites”.
So we thought we’d take a look back at our last Panelbase opinion poll, which we conducted in February, and see what the values of Unionists were.
We haven’t said much about the huge furore whipped up by the Guardian in recent days around spurious allegations of racism/online abuse by supporters of Scottish independence, made first by Sadiq Khan and then by a deranged “Better Together” activist who also thinks all vegans are racist (or something).
Partly that’s because we covered the initial speech by Khan and the fallout from it pretty extensively, and partly because we didn’t want to feed the Guardian’s clickbait.
However, when the activist who was allegedly “hounded off Twitter” in fear for her life – fear caused by supposed comments that nobody has actually seen – miraculously recovered her bravery less than a week later (coincidentally just in time for the launch of her book), we thought it was probably time someone started keeping some records.
The votes for “God Save The Queen” being driven by Tories, English-born residents and supporters of a particular football club probably won’t come as the biggest shock in the world to anyone.
(Alert viewers will of course have noticed that due to MI5 INTERFERENCE in the poll, there were actually two votes for Hoots Mon, which have been suspiciously rounded down to one. We are conducting an investigation, by which we mean brutal purge.)
Judge Dredd: Origins was published in 2007, although in fact the basic story of how Bad Bob Booth became the last President of the USA and what he did next was established right back at the 1970s beginnings of Dredd’s parent comic 2000AD.
We actually have a theory that it’s all the Lib Dems’ fault.
Dan on The value bet: “Hmm, not really such a tricky decision as to who to vote for after comparing the worth of content generated…” May 7, 09:06
100%Yes on Pick Your Poison: “Opinion polls with no opinion. I would love to know if their is going to be an exit poll?” May 7, 08:56
Bilbo on Pick Your Poison: “Wingers beware when going out voting today. There are a few parties on the regional list that have similar names…” May 7, 08:49
Chas on The value bet: “Vote for ATLS and demonstrate to all that you have wasted your vote and are a thick cunt……..just like Northclown.” May 7, 08:37
Captain Caveman on Seven Days Too Long: “Well well everyone, Geri seems uncharacteristically quiet on this one? At a wild guess, maybe it’s the realisation that on…” May 7, 08:19
Northcode on The value bet: “This is a party political broadcast on behalf of: The Alliance to Liberate Scotland Party (ATLS). First, it should be…” May 7, 08:14
James Che on The value bet: “Like I posted not so long ago, Even if you spell it out, supply the information, point the unionist in…” May 7, 07:19
Aidan on The value bet: “The excuses are starting early for the Alliance’s upcoming terrible performance, you’ll hear a lot about “media blackouts” “d-notices” and…” May 7, 06:09
Angus on Pick Your Poison: “Ultimately, who cares about the carpetbagging MSPs, every single one of them? Because Scots are sovereign, remember? Every carpetbagging MSP…” May 7, 05:01
Al-Stuart on Pick Your Poison: “. So basically, James Kelly’s “third best political blog in Scotland” has poisoned enough feeble minded Amadans into voting “SNP…” May 7, 04:39
Geri on The value bet: “” someone, somewhere in that vast civil service – has run the numbers (and they do have the numbers, numbers…” May 7, 01:42
Insider on The value bet: ““James” @ 10:45 What the hell are you gibbering about now ? Statues of who ?” May 6, 23:46
James on The value bet: “What are the chances of you voting Tory? (100%).” May 6, 23:09
Confused on The value bet: “One thing people should realise is that the polls can also be bent; he who pays the piper – one…” May 6, 23:05
Mark Beggan on The value bet: “So you will be able to collect your winnings in 2326.” May 6, 23:04
James Che on The value bet: “Did you know that Statues of the realm of England do not contain any Scottish or Irish Statues. Even after…” May 6, 22:45
James Che on The value bet: “I foresee Scotlands independent country voting for a further three hundred years of Colonial rule and missing the open goal.…” May 6, 22:26
Geri on The value bet: “Let me see… Is it cause two of them actually attempt to serve Scots & they’re not genocidal peado apologists?…” May 6, 22:25
James Che on The value bet: “We hve been an independent Country in Scotlant since 1707, Whats wrong? You want to pretend that your in a…” May 6, 22:18
Rev. Stuart Campbell on The value bet: “Same either way: fuck-all.” May 6, 21:17
sarah on The value bet: “Cheer yourselves up, folks, by listening to Eva Comrie and others on today’s Barrhead Boy podcast. Then tomorrow go and…” May 6, 21:07
Campbell Clansman on The value bet: “Better question: How on earth could Scottish voters consider voting for the parties that have misgoverned them this century? SNP,…” May 6, 20:50
Campbell Clansman on The value bet: “What are the odds of the Alliance winning a “bucketload of seats?” Zero. Better question: What are the odds of…” May 6, 20:46
Dan on Seven Days Too Long: “No, Lorna. TH is right, as many didn’t speak out with any worth. Plenty supposedly pro returning Scotland to self-governance…” May 6, 18:38
Lorncal on Seven Days Too Long: “Geri: the police could be heard quite clearly saying: drop the knife, drop the knife. He wouldn’t drop it and…” May 6, 18:32
Mark Beggan on The value bet: “How on earth could Scottish voters consider voting for the SNP? 10 years of lies, mismanagement, theft, sexual deviation, bullying,…” May 6, 18:09
Lorncal on Seven Days Too Long: “They did and were silenced by various methods. As far as I am aware, all of them spoke out and…” May 6, 18:05
Mark Beggan on The value bet: “It wasn’t connected to the grass roots!” May 6, 17:54
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Binfire Of The Vanities: “With respect, you must ponder deeper. It is not philosophy as such which we are warned to be wary of,…” May 6, 17:53
