Alert readers from last night will notice that we’re currently running our first fundraiser since June 2019. It’s not one of our proper annual ones, in fact it’s basically just a joke at the expense of the Twitler Youth, but if anyone does want to kindly buy us a small treat of some sort it’ll be most appreciated. Click the pic to donate, if it would amuse you.
(The fundraiser is also to mark the one millionth reader comment on Wings. Jings.)
We’ll be back with some normal Scottish politics news shortly after noon, when we’re expecting to know the outcome of Martin Keatings’ court case over Section 30 powers. Should be a pretty interesting day.
At a certain point you just have to laugh, even though it’s not really funny.
The submission being referred to is NOT the one Alex Salmond sent to the Holyrood committee this week, but the one he sent to the separate Hamilton inquiry almost a month ago, which had been cleared by his lawyers and was published in full by both Wings and The Spectator and read by tens, if not hundreds, of thousands of people.
(For reasons we’re not allowed to tell you, the Wings version has been totally redacted and the Spectator’s has had one paragraph removed but is still mostly intact.)
Because the Fabiani inquiry won’t be publishing the document, that means Salmond isn’t allowed to discuss it when he gives oral evidence, and the inquiry isn’t permitted to consider any of its contents, just as with Geoff Aberdein’s submission.
(There’s very little Salmond actually WILL now be allowed to talk about if he appears before the committee. He might just about be able to confirm his name before the Lord Advocate has him arrested and charged with whatever the opposite of perjury is.)
In other words, the exact people who are supposed to be getting to the bottom of what happened are the only people in Scotland who have to pretend they haven’t read the evidence of the primary witness. (While also not being allowed to see the evidence of the other most important witness, or almost anything else.)
You really would struggle to make this stuff up, readers.
Tonight somebody’s sent us a copy of the SNP’s official Social Media Policy, which is exactly the sort of awful corporate wonk-drivel you’d probably expect it to be.
Our favourite part was this masterpiece of unrememberable gibberish in the vein of the Scottish Government’s hopeless “FACTS” slogan (honestly, without going and looking can you remember what ANY of the letters represent?) for the coronavirus :
And here’s a tweet from earlier today from a prospective SNP candidate:
We’re not sure which of the letters that conforms to.
Alert readers will have noticed by now that while we were at the dentist getting rid of all our excess money, the Fabiani inquiry has published Alex Salmond’s written evidence submission, ahead of his in-person appearance currently scheduled for next week.
We’re feeling a bit confused this morning, readers. Maybe someone can help.
Below is the key part of the letter sent by the Clerks of the Scottish Parliament, acting on behalf of the Fabiani committee, to the Crown Office and Procurator Fiscal Service (COPFS) a week and a half ago, requesting material for their investigation into the Scottish Government’s botched handling of false allegations against Alex Salmond.
As we’d told you at the time, the request was a sham, designed to produce nothing of any value, because it carefully excluded the only person whose communications with Sue Ruddick were actually of relevance – SNP chief executive Peter Murrell.
(Murrell being an employee of the party, NOT a member of the Scottish Government, a civil servant or a special adviser.)
Readers, we swear to you we are not making this up. What you’re about to read are genuine extracts from the SNP’s official new (probably illegal) Equalities Mechanism explanatory note, detailing what does and doesn’t count as a disability when it comes to jumping the queue for a regional list nomination.
And straight away it’s a real punch in the gut for firestarters, muggers, rapists, flashers and, in most cases, hay-fever sufferers. THIS BIGOTRY WILL NOT STAND.
Having never been part of a political party, an area where Wings lacks expertise is in understanding the nuts and bolts of their operation, and how a party’s rules can be used to usurp their members’ power. We’re delighted to have someone equipped to provide a valuable insight into how that’s happened to the SNP in the last two years.
The following line is still a definitive statement in the SNP constitution:
“National Conference is the supreme governing and policy-making body of the Party.”
But in practice it is no longer the case. The 2018 redraft of the constitution centralised power in the Leader and in the NEC. The party Leader has sole and total power over policy – both in the manifesto and in government – and the NEC has sole power over who represents the party and what they are allowed to say.
So in effect, since 2018 the party elite – not the membership – has ruled the SNP.
Something most people don’t know about the infamous Spanish Inquisition is that it was never the Catholic Church that actually executed heretics. Particularly if a prisoner had refused to confess their vile heresy even under torture, the Church instead handed them over to the “mercy” of the state to deliver their end.
So SNP MP Kirsty Blackman (or as we understand some are already calling her, “the Tiny Torquemada“) would have fitted right in with it.
Onlooker on The Only Notes That Really Count: “The only notes that really count…are the ones that come in wads. Indeed.” Jul 10, 02:07
Young Lochinvar on The Only Notes That Really Count: “Ooops! Meant to say: HMcH @ 8.52. Anyway it’s after his bedtime/ wing lockdown now anyhows.. Waiting for hung-over intemperate…” Jul 10, 02:06
Young Lochinvar on The Only Notes That Really Count: “HMcH Somehow I doubt Roddy feels particularly chastised by your wee piece of grandstanding.. Anyways peeps, happy birthday tomorrow to…” Jul 10, 01:48
Stuart Swanston on The Only Notes That Really Count: “Once the donors who had requested repayment had been refunded we must assume that that total subtracted from the grand…” Jul 10, 01:02
fiona on The Only Notes That Really Count: “For everyone saying “the SNP will never…” “if the SNP had done….” etc etc, please acknowledge the fact that all…” Jul 10, 00:37
Lynn Fraser on The Only Notes That Really Count: “I have filled in your contact form. I gave statement to Branch Form. I hope to have contact from you.…” Jul 10, 00:01
crazycat on The Only Notes That Really Count: “I can see your point, but: When I received my refund, they admitted it hadn’t been spent on the correct…” Jul 9, 23:33
James on The Only Notes That Really Count: “Adrian getting his master’s opinion in first there….just to quell expectations amongst the colonials.” Jul 9, 23:14
James on The Interests Of The Many: “I reckon the SP wisnae in the video; his ankle tag widnae let him go ootside….” Jul 9, 23:11
James on The Interests Of The Many: “So…the ‘National Broadcaster’ eh? “…People are just pleased the England team are for once playing some decent football…” What people?…” Jul 9, 23:03
100%Yes on The Only Notes That Really Count: “The SNP will never deliver Independence!!! I hope this is the beginning of the end for this party who stole…” Jul 9, 21:41
100%Yes on The Only Notes That Really Count: “Is this the real reason the SNP has never been committed to Independence? If the SNP had been honest I…” Jul 9, 21:32
100%Yes on The Only Notes That Really Count: “I hope the SNP isn’t using the Scottish government legal counsel for advice, this has nothing to do with the…” Jul 9, 21:24
robertkknight on The Only Notes That Really Count: “There you go, Crown Office, I think that’s referred to as having one’s feet held to the fire!” Jul 9, 21:23
Sean Duffy on The Only Notes That Really Count: “It’s a very compelling argument and aligns with my understanding of how the law stood on this matter. The unknown…” Jul 9, 21:07
Aidan on The Only Notes That Really Count: “This is an excellent opinion but may not fully and completely cover off what could be the SNP’s line of…” Jul 9, 20:56
Hatey McHateface on The Only Notes That Really Count: “Well, well. Roddy Dunlop KC agrees with me that the original ring-fenced fund, sensibly invested, would have near doubled in…” Jul 9, 20:52
Fraser on The Only Notes That Really Count: “How fast can an actual Political party be wound up? Well after this there will be no money left to…” Jul 9, 20:45
Southernbystander on The Interests Of The Many: “But that is not what is happening. It is simply being pleased that English sports people are doing well. You…” Jul 9, 20:38
Blackhack on The Only Notes That Really Count: “I never paid any money in, but if I did I’d be signing that pronto.” Jul 9, 20:23
Southernbystander on The Interests Of The Many: “No. People are just pleased the England team are for once playing some decent football and we have one player…” Jul 9, 20:05
Rev. Stuart Campbell on Your Call Is Important To Us: “I have not. I’d redact it with a black box if I’d done that.” Jul 9, 19:57
James Barr Gardner on Your Call Is Important To Us: “Mallaidh is an Irish and Scottish Gaelic spelling of the name “Molly,” which itself is a traditional pet form of…” Jul 9, 18:31
DelayedResponse on Your Call Is Important To Us: “That’s incredibly frustrating – it’s amazing how often you can get a vague response like that. Hopefully they’ll actually get…” Jul 9, 17:48
twathater on Your Call Is Important To Us: “The ENDLESS mindless responses that all say the same thing “Fuck Off” we’re not interested in addressing your complaints, even…” Jul 9, 17:42
Hatey McHateface on Your Call Is Important To Us: ““Mallaidh” is a very nice Gaelic female name. So probably a real person, possibly a real woman, but according to…” Jul 9, 16:24
A2 on Your Call Is Important To Us: “Too be fair (as we say) You did complain about the rapidity of the previous. “If we twiddle our thumbs…” Jul 9, 16:14
100%Yes on Your Call Is Important To Us: “I would presume, you likely to hear from copfs after the SNP responds in 21 days to these summons.” Jul 9, 16:00
Andy Wiltshire on Your Call Is Important To Us: “Do we know who ‘Mallaidh’ is? A real person, I naively assume.” Jul 9, 15:59
