Alert readers will have noticed something of a minor furore in recent days around a boneheaded Scottish Greens candidate (as if there were any other kind) calling for the complete abolition of prisons.
So far Kate Nevens – who on the latest polling has a very reasonable chance of being elected on the list – has resisted calls to step down, which is probably for the best as, incredibly, her replacement would be even worse.
With the implosion of Your Party concentrating the nutter vote firmly in Green hands, the next term of the Scottish Parliament is set to feature the worst array of MSPs in Holyrood’s history, with almost everyone in the SNP with any sort of ability or experience resigning to be replaced by hyper-obedient young party drones, while the opposition are mostly putting forward the same old faces who’ve been such utter failures for the last 20 years.
It’s a grim prospect, but we do have a solution to propose.
Because the truth is that we should all be quietly sending BBC Scotland bouquets in appreciation for doing the independence movement a favour for once.
We think the lads at The Scotsman might have gotten a bit confused and/or carried away when it came to putting the clocks forward at the weekend. At 6am on Sunday morning they tweeted this:
But the link was a 404. We checked the print edition of Scotland On Sunday but there was nothing there either. Finally, though, the article has shown up in today’s paper and on the website, and to be honest with you, readers, we still think it must be some sort of mistake, because it’s two days early for April 1st.
The turnout at the “independence march and rally” yesterday was so abysmally poor that it seems almost unfair to pick on any of the scores of SNP elected representatives who didn’t bother to show up.
But dear old Cosy Feet Pete Wishart had the most chef’s-kiss excuse of all.
The reason he didn’t fancy getting his wee Billy Whizz quiff blown about a chilly Calton Hill was that he had important business “taking on the far right” – who were of course nowhere to be seen – with “half a million” (50,000) of his British besties, a convenient short Tube ride away from his London residence, at a pretty openly anti-Semitic protest called, with a double layer of delicious comedic value… UK Together.
If events in Edinburgh today are anything to go by – when a march and rally announced with great fanfare seven months ago, backed by both the “independence” parties in the Scottish Parliament and featuring the First Minister as main speaker, attracted perhaps 1,500 people at the most to Calton Hill on a bright and sunny day – the independence movement faces an imminent final apocalypse.
So here’s how to prepare yourself for when the SNP win a landslide with 35%, Keir Starmer says “So what?” and then a deathly silence descends for another five years.
Even Kelly Given and Iona Fyfe didn’t show up for this one. That’s how bad it is.
The last faint hope of any remotely positive or at least interesting outcome of May’s election just left the building.
It wasn’t MUCH of a hope, and it’s absolutely no surprise in the wake of the comically shambolic, belief-defyingly inept farce that has been the birth of Jeremy Corbyn and Zarah Sultana’s fringe-of-the fringe party, but all the same its extinguishing means the next two months will be even more of a waste of time than they looked like being.
Frankly, readers, we may as well not bother having an election at all.
The number of parties who got MSPs elected at the last election is… five. (Though in fairness there are now six, Reform having a single MSP after Graham Simpson defected from the Tories. The Lib Dems are even outnumbered by independents, of whom there are seven.)
So Cathy Newman of Channel 4 News got herself a scoop last night.
And to be honest, readers, we were a bit confused. “Gender critical views” are not only lawful things to hold and express, they’re one of a small subset of opinions that are explicitly protected as such in law. And why would a man very occasionally airing some lawful and protected views on social media be a news story? You might as well run “BREAKING: Premiership footballer discovered to enjoy cheese-and-ham toasties”.
Which is handy, because today is also the day of the Gorton and Denton by-election in Manchester (fun fact: a seat we’d very likely have lived in ourselves if not for Osama bin Laden, but that’s another story), and that throws up some interesting parallels.
There is a not particularly funny joke that is sometimes told in legal circles about why a law student failed to finish his coursework – because he had no conviction. With rare exceptions lawyers aren’t renowned for their sense of humour but I can’t help thinking someone, at the highest levels of our justice system, is having a right laugh at my expense and those who have loyally supported me over the past six years.
I’m talking about the Lord Advocate, Dorothy Bain KC – a sitting member of the Scottish Government’s cabinet who was nominated by Nicola Sturgeon to that post in 2021, five months after I was acquitted.
For those unfamiliar with my case, I offer this brief summary. In March 2020 I made a short video on my mobile phone that was two minutes and thirty eight seconds in length. I hadn’t planned to make the video when I went out for a walk in a field near my home. But I was annoyed and wanted to articulate that annoyance, although at the time I recorded it I wasn’t intending for it to go much further.
Later that night, just before turning in, I uploaded it to my YouTube channel on a closed, unlisted link and then posted that link to my Twitter account that, at the time, had a modest 1000 or so followers. I then forgot about it.
Little did I know that short mobile phone video would result in me facing initially a criminal trial, then a five year legal battle in the highest civil court in Scotland and now, most likely, an appeal to the European Court of Human Rights in Strasbourg.
Mark Beggan on The Massive Face Of Truth: ““Reform voters still support independence” Totally True Rev. Thank you.” Jun 8, 19:37
Ronald Bennett on The Massive Face Of Truth: “I was a ‘Yes’ voter for the first (and only) referendum but changed sides when we voted to leave the…” Jun 8, 19:37
Jay on The Massive Face Of Truth: “YL, your stalker (Mc Hateful) maybe does not realise that he is an anti-semite but avoids facing the truth when…” Jun 8, 18:34
Young Lochinvar on The Massive Face Of Truth: “Meant to say, watched The Longest Day and big Tam fooling about as Flanagan carrying a mk 3 Bren gun…” Jun 8, 18:09
Young Lochinvar on The Massive Face Of Truth: “HMcH Oh I raised a glass alright, relatives were there. June 6th is very well known and hasn’t been airbrushed…” Jun 8, 17:42
Hatey McHateface on The Massive Face Of Truth: “Got to say, YL, absolutely jaw dropping to me that you let June 6th go by without raising a glass.…” Jun 8, 17:19
Hatey McHateface on In pursuit of clarity: “Here’s a fourth behaviour for you, Northy. As you have in the past, on this site, claimed to be a…” Jun 8, 17:11
Hatey McHateface on The Massive Face Of Truth: “I’ve often considered that if Rev Stu were to address his formidable intellect to identifying the best way to generate…” Jun 8, 16:55
Mike on The Massive Face Of Truth: “Hi Stuart,did you get any call,message email etc in 2020 causing you suspicion to look at the accounts ?” Jun 8, 16:35
twathater on The Massive Face Of Truth: “Well done Mr Campbell there is only one thing I would disagree with on your interview, Sturgeon made it clear…” Jun 8, 15:44
twathater on The Massive Face Of Truth: “I have to say I wholeheartedly agree that ANY enquiry into the endemic corruption that exists within the snp, police…” Jun 8, 15:23
Young Lochinvar on The Massive Face Of Truth: “SB When I say written out I am referring to published general histories. These are notoriously Anglo-centric, frustratingly partisan. So…” Jun 8, 13:45
Aidan on In pursuit of clarity: “Alright Northcode – I get you’ve reach the point where the facts are clear, on the table, and you now…” Jun 8, 13:24
Southernbystander on The Massive Face Of Truth: “The Wiki entry is certainly much more substantial for Northallerton, it is true. If I am honest, I had heard…” Jun 8, 12:41
Northcode on In pursuit of clarity: “Now I see why Xaracen became so frustrated when dealing with you, AI Dan. I’ve hit the bullseye on three…” Jun 8, 12:14
Ian Smith on The Massive Face Of Truth: “Wasn’t the institutional pride generated after 150 – 200 years or so of colonialism? Is there a theory as to…” Jun 8, 11:37
Young Lochinvar on The Massive Face Of Truth: “SB True, but that’s not been written out of history.” Jun 8, 11:30
Southernbystander on The Massive Face Of Truth: “Shame about the replay at Northallerton a few weeks later 😉” Jun 8, 11:14
100%Yes on The Massive Face Of Truth: “I am sick and tired of people saying the SNP is the only vehicle to Independence, no their not there…” Jun 8, 10:57
100%Yes on The Massive Face Of Truth: “I’ve repeated this god knows how many times and it falls on death ears. We stayed in England and came…” Jun 8, 10:49
gm on The Massive Face Of Truth: “Iain Lawson’s blog site was along the same lines, excellent site. It is still online. Roddy MacLeod’s site and podcast,…” Jun 8, 09:49
Aidan on In pursuit of clarity: “There’s quite a lot of factual inaccuracies in that post Northcode, but first let’s deal with this issue of representations…” Jun 8, 08:20
John Cutesack on The Massive Face Of Truth: “I commented on these issues over the years and found that this was the only pro-indy site that was willing…” Jun 8, 07:08
Redcliffe62 on The Massive Face Of Truth: “Whilst it is safe to say other monies such as those involving Mone and Hancock and Gove are far bigger…” Jun 8, 02:35
Young Lochinvar on The Massive Face Of Truth: “HMcH Don’t really have any desire to get into a running spat again, but shouldn’t you consider that’s exactly where…” Jun 8, 00:25
Young Lochinvar on The Massive Face Of Truth: “Happy anniversary of the battle of Clitheroe, in Lancashire, 1138 tomorrow.. Another pumping dispensed and pretty quickly (and consistently thereafter)…” Jun 8, 00:15
robertkknight on The Massive Face Of Truth: “A “Corrupt Dictatorship” indeed! Was then…is now, and still has the backing of some very powerful individuals in what is…” Jun 7, 23:06
Tenruh on The Massive Face Of Truth: “I made a monthly payment into the referendum fundraiser from March 2017 until February 2021 and assume there would have…” Jun 7, 22:26
