Unserious Crimes Squad
Posted on
March 16, 2024 by
Chris Cairns
Wings Over Scotland is a (mainly) Scottish political media digest and monitor, which also offers its own commentary. (More)
Just…superb.
Zuker, Abrahams and Zuker’s Police Squad were more competent.
link to dailymotion.com
‘Tough on crumbs, tough on the causes of crumbs’
The cops have obviously been hugely overmanned since 2007.
They had a worrying time in the banksters crash of 2008, when they thought that they maybe ‘downsized’ and actually started walking the beat again. Hilarious.
Such crime as there is, they seem to be reluctant to attend in favour of chasing this nonsense.
Nice to finally see a picture of Chas and Main.
Brilliant!
Not long now before some bright-spark politician brings up the idea of replacing the traditional “beat cop” to patrol our streets? In the interests of keeping us all safe. 😉 LOL!
Anything you say may be taken down and abused against you.
If you called someone a bastard and their parents never married would the case go to court in a few years when the backlog is caught up?
If found guilty and have no funds would they put you in a queue for when a prison bed becomes available in the next few years?
Would the courts provide you with free legal aid and again at the appeal.
£2,000 per week to keep someone in prison.
Would it be cheaper to offer £3,000 and a free flight to Rwanda.
Common sense and reason has been put in a woke blender and there is nothing palatable coming out the other side.
Spot on Chris. Of course this is the slippery slope to ‘satirical crime’. Welcome to East Germany 1949. God, how i hate these useless uneducated fuckers. Is that a hate crime? Well, they can come and get me. Nae chance!
I should have been clearer in my previous comment. I should have said not long now before some bright-spark politician suggests we replace the traditional “beat cop” with the military. To patrol our streets and keep us all safe of course.
I tried to warn you about all this a couple of years ago. The SNP turned into Monsters Inc. under Sturgeon. Holyrood is the scream processing factory.
They feed on hate and fear, and if they can’t find any then they induce it. The factory processes it and basically turns it into money.
You all saw the way they handled the pandemic… that was their golden age. Kerching. Money everywhere, motorhomes, £700 pens, you name it.
“We scare because we care…”
One of my mates in the local coffin dodgers club is a retired Strathclyde Police Divisional Commander (retired as a Chief Superintendent).
He reckons Scot Squad on TV was a documentary – such is the present-day state of the Force.
The gift that never stops giving.
I can find no words of praise for what Police Scotland has become.
This cartoon may expose Police Scotland as a joke but behind the joke is a vicious politically sectarian and biased police force in the mould of the RUC and the old Police Service of South Africa.
Police Scotland are corrupt, people no longer trust them,and nor do people trust the politically biased Crown Prosecution Service.
Top o’ the Range, brill.
The Keystone Cops doing their best in difficult circumstances. LOL
Not long now before the trans zealots take to smashing the windows of venues hosting speakers they consider hostile and burning books written by those who challenge their world view, whilst plod simply looks on.
What Willie just said.
Great cartoon.
Willie says on 16 March 2024 at 8:49 am:
“I can find no woThis cartoon may expose Police Scotland as a joke but behind the joke is a vicious politically sectarian and biased police force in the mould of the RUC and the old Police Service of South Africa. Police Scotland are corrupt, people no longer trust them,and nor do people trust the politically biased Crown Prosecution Service.”
I could not agree more.
btw, Another good one, Chris. Thank you!
Hatuey @ 8:32 am
“They feed on hate and fear, and if they can’t find any then they induce it.”
Yes, Scots have long since been subject to the deceit of colonial rule which benefits only a privileged minority. Why does anyone think we have an independence movement if not to remove our oppressor?
Mair laws that also privilege certain groups and/or ‘elites’ continues this theme. The ‘divide & rule’ method only serves to weaken the independence movement – as we will nae dout see at the next UKGE.
Fundamentally the colonial wretchedness of an exploited and marginalised people and obliteration of their culture continues until such time as they are liberated, because, at the end of the day:
“What is fascism, if not a regime of oppression for the benefit of a few? The entire administrative and political machinery of a colony has no other goal. The human relationships have arisen from the severest exploitation, founded on inequality and contempt, guaranteed by police authoritarianism” (Albert Memmi).
Policies of fascination enforced by an empty husk of a police force: now there’s a nightmare-recipe to behold into the future.
Willie says on 16 March 2024 at 8:49 am:
“I can find no words of praise for what Police Scotland has become. Police Scotland are corrupt, people no longer trust them,and nor do people trust the politically biased Crown Prosecution Service.”
Well said Willie, couldn’t agree more.
The new PC Brigade will have access to your Tesco Clubcard account to check the number and type of biscuits, porridge & meal deals you buy each week.
That will be along with access to your bank account & credit card account.
The problem I have with Chris’ cartoons is they are too close to the truth to be really funny!
Do people realise that the Police for a modest one off fee offered rapid response to confirmed intruder signalling from an approved domestic intruder alarm.
This was stood done a few years back as they no longer had the resource to support it.
Don’t know why that would be as their numbers were never cut but if they don’t have the ability to attend burglary then where is the resource for name calling every 5 minutes.
Check your nearest sex shop for the local police farce contact details.
‘Scot Squad’ is actually a contemporary police documentary series! I’ve heard on the grapevine that the Chief Constable is being moved on to a job in the Scottish cabinet due to his supreme levels of competence.
CC has managed to make the HM look almost cuddly and that’s a great achievement.
There’s a cheeky wee smile almost breaking through there. I’m thinking maybes evil will always be more innarestin and seductive than good, and it’s fantastic that CC has captured that.
Did we ever get to the bottom of who was responsible for drawing the HM in the first place?
Antoine Roquentin @ 9:24 am
“Policies of fascination”
Yes, according to Aime Cesaire, mystifying and clearly coercive laws that favour and hence elevate only particular interest groups thus ensuring their privileged position are by implication biased and authoritative; this is made worse when such laws “cry out for punishment” against an already oppressed people who themselves remain subject to a “hateful racism” which is part and parcel of all colonial societies and where, “in general the old tyrants get on very well with the new ones”.
Looks like Scotland has a new Lord Melville.
Chris has made ‘The Hate Monster Orange‘
It’s a hate crime! Even if Chris lives in Bath he could be charged with a hate crime because we are seeing/reading his cartoon in Scotland.
Number of tourist coming to Scotland greatly reduced due to fear of being arrested for hate crime.
Just remembered about Stonehaven. Must go and check the status of the ‘Stonehaven Orange Walk’.
Does anyone actually have a link to the document(s) covering the developed policy and/or guidelines for how they will apply this new Act?
I tried looking, but failed to find such. It would be helpful to know what standard we’re expected to comply with.
No go for Stonehaven Orange Walk. 🙂
Orange Lodge will make Hate Crime’ complaints against 10k people on grounds of religious bigotry
also Stonehaven RNLI who refused their donation.
Yes those of us diagnosed with type 2 Diabetes who consume more than two chocolate biscuits a week will be hunted down relentlessly – makes you proud!
Alf Baird at 10.26am
These insights are extremely helpful in trying to make sense of the incomprehensible. Thank-you.
Excellent. The Hate Monster. Ian Livingstone and a furry!
Chris, it’s fabulous but also too close for comfort
Should you risk it for a biscuit or reject all cookies?
Those with the eyes to see it are aware that this is not limited to Scotland but is being rolled out across Western nations as we see their populations replaced and governed by unelected placemen/women and deviants.
@Alf, a piece on propaganda from yesterdays Herald, does it appear that Communism is given the usual body swerve for any kind of criticism because then people might start looking at over representation and noticing parallels with the here and now? I do not recall any kind of public consultation over the huge 404 flag painted at the Saltmarket and the BLM logos on walls around the city of Glasgow which brings us back to propaganda. Black and brown nationalism are not only encouraged but celebrated in our countries but any kind of recognition of a white majority culture or identity is in the process of being erased and made literally illegal.
link to archive.ph
This is the Joe Farrell impact on Police Scotland.
They can ram their Hate Crime Bill up their arse like they can ram the Offensive Behaviour at Football Act!
Hail hail the Celts are here! Here we go again!
It would be good if the next series of Scot Squad has Cameron Miekelson go tranny and start using pronouns. In a bad wig, with stubble, calling they/them-selves “Brenda” Wokelson.
Sesame Street is a bit dodgy tho – Big Bird is a racist, and the Cookie Monster is a holocaust denier … something about “if it takes X long to bake Y cookies in an OVEN, then how long does it take etc” – and from that there is no comeback. They cut that episode. Lines like BB talking to the multi racial kids and saying stuff like “where are you REALLY from?” don’t scan well these days. Elmo, Bert and Ernie, there were other scandals, drugs, underage puppets, epstein island, you don’t want to know.
Satire is dead, or no longer possible, as you just wait a bit and it comes true; the real cops are far funnier than anything that’s been in Scot Squad; Viz comic predicted much of the modern world some 20 years ago, e.g. Student Grant is Owen Jones and Millie Tant is, well, every feminist you ever met. The cops have now become The Bottom Inspectors, but instead of examining your ringpiece for errant bits of toilet paper, they scan your social media for misgenderings and problematic attitudes.
– but I take comfort in knowing that the disciplined peoples of the east will wipe out the degeneracy of the west.
The west is in a mass “weimar berlin” period, but at some point the music stops.
re : forbidden planet (last post comment) – a scifi movie based on the tempest, with added freud
the krell grand machine (a world spanning wish fulfillment device) was in fact a primitive version of the internet and walter pidgeon falling asleep led to his subconscious posting dank memes – the rage monster he produced being his alarm at a gang of space cowboys turning up to paw his teenage space babe daughter
Willie says: 16 March, 2024 at 8:49 am
I can find no words of praise for what Police Scotland has become.
This cartoon may expose Police Scotland as a joke but behind the joke is a vicious politically sectarian and biased police force in the mould of the RUC and the old Police Service of South Africa.
Police Scotland are corrupt, people no longer trust them,and nor do people trust the politically biased Crown Prosecution Service.
In my opinion – born of experience – this is true of most (if not all) public service in Scotland; the legislation and rhetoric against sectarianism which has blown over the land for decades being entirely empty. Worse still is the classism which drives all of these systems. – Being born in the ‘wrong’ place of the ‘wrong’ heritage is only excepted when some virtue du jour needs signalling or a fetish needs to be satisfied or a statistic needs to be fiddled.
This is not new… it was happening in the 60s and 70s and by the accounts of elders; long before that.
Tartan Tory says: 16 March, 2024 at 10:08 am
‘Scot Squad’ is actually a contemporary police documentary series!
You’ve no idea how close to the truth you might be with that. – There was (for example) a real-life incident back in about 1982 involving some chickens let loose (by a Cop) in a lay-by, a new-ish Volvo Estate with a (then) young driver and his pretty Chinese-looking Fiancee; and a bloated (think Mr Blobby in Tunic and White Cap) ‘Traffic’ cop who rather seemed to resent the fact that her father was (a) wealthy enough to own such a vehicle and insure it for ‘any driver’ and (b) casual enough to send ‘the kids’ off on a Saturday jaunt into darkest Aberdeenshire in his slightly-flashy-newish motor to collect stock for a catering job…
It probably didn’t help that the boy who was driving had a ‘Fenian’ name and a weegie accent either!
Of course, by the time it the incident actually made it to Scot Squad (decades later!) it had been sanitised (or should that be chinese-whisper-ised?) to make ‘the Polis’ look slightly less stupid than they actually were in real life; the casual racism and resentment of those who were making their own way in the world was of course completely eliminated.
off topic
Today is the anniversary of the death of a wonderful,Scottish woman, Mary Brooksbank, born Mary Soutar.
You may find out about her at wiki or in Dundonian links. One well known song she wrote is called either The Jute Mill song or “Oh, dear me”. The song can be found online. It should, perhaps, be better sung by a woman but I like The Parcel O’ Rogues version.
From unionsong.com (trade union)
“Mary Brookbank herself a jute worker wrote:
“The life of the women workers of Dundee right up to the thirties was … a living hell of hard work and poverty. It was a common sight to see women, after a long ten-hour-day in the mill, running to the stream wash-houses with the family washing. They worked up to the last few days before having their bairns. Often they would call in at the calenders from their work and carry home bundles of sacks to sew. These were paid for at the rate of 5 pence for 25, 6 pence for a coarser type of sack. Infant and maternal mortality in Dundee was the highest in the country.”
When folklorist Hamish Henderson asked Mary Brookbank how much of the song came from mill workers she replied:
“Only the ditty, ‘Oh dear me, the mill’s gaen fest, the puir wee shifters…’ The verses are all mine. And that verse, ‘to feed and cled my bairnie’ was brought to me by a lassie who was worried. It wis hard lines if she, ye hid an illigitimate child and you had to pay for it aff that meagre wage, you know what I mean, and she used to say, oh I wish the day was done. And eh, tell me her troubles, her trackles, what she hid tae dae for her bairn and that, nae help that sort o’ thing, and that brought that tae mind. And then I used to think on my own aboot how ill divided the world wis.”
“This cartoon may expose Police Scotland as a joke but behind the joke is a vicious politically sectarian and biased police force in the mould of the RUC and the old Police Service of South Africa…”
In the neo-colonial context, the police basically serve the same role as occupation forces; if they were more honest, they’d wear red coats. You can get people to do almost anything if you give them a uniform and a few bucks.
Of course, here in Scotland we are basically getting fleeced twice; by the UK government and huge global corporations which make billions in profit every year by selling us our own energy and resources. Sorting those leeches out when we are independent will be relatively easy but until then we are basically nailed to a cross.
What we really need is a national liberation movement, not an independence movement. Taking control of your own affairs and making sure people have enough to eat and live well has nothing to do with abstract ideas like independence, or nationalism for that matter.
We are in a class war; that is to say, a war to give hungry people something to eat, a war to give cold people warmth, and to give the hopeless hope.
We will win that war when ordinary people — most of whom probably don’t give a fuck about culture and nationalism — wake up and realise they are being fleeced and that things could be so much better.
It’s one thing to be dispossessed and fleeced by your neighbours but when your neighbours are doing it on behalf of
Bravo Hatuey. Self-reliance is the antidote to learned / enforced helplessness and incompetence at all levels. Thinking of those around you is an act of defiance against centralisation and globalisation.
Hatuey;
So, stick with Britain and everything will turn out ok. Right?
The colonial Keystone Cops aka Police Scotland are an utter disgrace, we talk about the Met police force in England being corrupt, our lot could easily give them a run for their money in that department.
“Orange Lodge will make Hate Crime’ complaints against 10k people on grounds of religious bigotry”
Imagine I got a group of folk together to march in Glasgow celebrating the Battle of Tours (732) and we stopped at some mosques and banged our drums and sang sectarian songs outside those mosques, whilst our thuggish pished followers shouted abuse at the public and harassed anyone with a brown face, god help anyone who tried to cross the street inbetween the marching band as that’s a big no no.
Well, our feet wouldn’t touch the ground as Police Scotland carted us away into police vans for religious bigoted behaviour. I could explain to Police Scotland that its our democratic right to march and celebrate our history in the defeat of the Moors, as the Orange Order does with Catholics in mind, would they buy it? would they f*ck, so why oh why does Tammany Hall aka Glasgow City Council allow the Orange Order to parade not just once in Glasgow but last year their were at least EIGHTY matches across the city by the O/O and its affiliates.
Mind you Police Scotland personnel have to swear and oath of loyalty to the English monarchy, and on the rare occasion that I’ve had the misfortune to be stuck behind an Orange Order march in my car, I could’ve sworn that some of the police officers walked as though they too were marching in the parade.
James, I’m the last person you should accuse of wanting to stick with Britain. One of the main reasons I support independence is to rid the world of that cancerous sore.
You’ve probably never made a more ridiculous suggestion.
Quite right, RoS.
Just as they did with OBFA, making it unworkable in the process, they will do everything they can to downplay and minimise the impact of the legislation on Orange types whilst exaggerating and highlighting the transgressions of those on the other side of the divide.
They call that a ‘balanced approach’. In Scotland it’s always important to appear ‘balanced’ when it comes to sectarianism, because we all know that it’s a problem with two equal sides, etc., no one side is to blame, both are as bad as each other, just as is the case in Gaza…
All our lives we’ve been dealing with this pish.
Republicofscotland says on 16 March 2024 at 2:56 pm:
“Imagine I got a group of folk together to march in Glasgow celebrating the Battle of Tours (732) and we stopped at some mosques and banged our drums and sang sectarian songs outside those mosques, whilst our thuggish pished followers shouted abuse at the public and harassed anyone with a brown face,”
You forgot to add, and spat on some cleric from the mosque. Just like the filthy bigoted cretin did on a priest standing outside his chapel in Glasgow minding his own business.
Then there was the parade band that carried a loyalist terrorist banner (can’t remember if it was UVF UFF or whatever), but that took place in Glasgow too. And while under police escort. Nice to see our taxes being invested in pure sectarian hatred, isn’t it?
Miekelson: all the bams and radges will be out in the streets on 1 April. Brilliant, again, Chris. To be fair to the police, though, they did say, some time ago, and more recently, that they believed this law to be unworkable.
link to wingsoverscotland.com
Just incase of any misunderstanding the following which I posted earlier was a joke.
“Orange Lodge will make Hate Crime’ complaints against 10k people on grounds of religious bigotry
also Stonehaven RNLI who refused their donation.”
This was a joke based on 10K signing a petition against Orange Walk in Stonehaven and a member of the Orange Lodge claiming in was anti-protestant bigotry.
It was a joke but it may turn out to be true.
Not just anti-protestant but ‘anti-Irish racism
The petition blames Scottish nationalists for whipping up outrage
link to archive.is
Stonehaven Orange Walk counter-petition signed by 1,500 people as decision branded ‘anti-Irish racism’
link to archive.is
This is the story about the Stonehaven RNLI
The RNLI has refused to accept a donation from a sectarian flute band that has publicly expressed support for paramilitary gunmen and bombers.
However, the Royal National Lifeboat Institution declined to accept the money after becoming aware that the band had repeatedly paid tribute to members of the Ulster Volunteer Force (UVF), which is proscribed by the UK government as a terrorist organisation.
The RNLI’s guidelines state that it should not accept donations from “an individual or company connected to activities which have led to the loss or serious harm of life”.
What I was imagining was ‘The Orange Walk’ marching past ‘Luke and Jack’s’ sex shop and each member popping into the sex shop to make a hate crime complaint about anti-Irish racism/anti protestant bigotry.
I think that could make a good cartoon.
They might come out the shop wearing a black leather basque under their orange sash.
There’s a few on here who have “publicly expressed support for paramilitary gunmen and bombers”.
Would any of them care to tell us if the RNLI has ever accepted donations from them?
Paramilitary gunmen and bombers?
That will be Main’s s3ttler kneecapper friends.
Answer your own question instead of pestering the rest of us.
I’m disappointed that there are no serious comments about the RNLI donation.
I thought it was an interesting story.
John Main has just trivialised
my post about the ‘Orange Lodge’s donation to the RNLI’ to flirt with other men on a public forum.
All this BTL foreplay is embarrassing.
JB says:
16 March, 2024 at 10:37 am
“Does anyone actually have a link to the document(s) covering the developed policy and/or guidelines for how they will apply this new Act?
I tried looking, but failed to find such. It would be helpful to know what standard we’re expected to comply with.”
full detail at
link to legislation.gov.uk
form an orderly queue please…
Well done Chris. Naturally cartoonists and satirical commentators get a free pass. Post 1st April ordinary citizens will be subject to the full force of the Law including their biscuit campaign.
George Ferguson
As always, there will be exceptions. The biscuit rules will be complicated by gluten intolerance, lactose intolerance, etc.
Communion wafers will be exempt. Chapatis, not perhaps strictly a biscuit, but popular at Ramadan, won’t be included.
And I don’t expect any clampdown on the consumption of Duchy Originals. None whatsoever.
@John Main 8:18pm
A good post John the right balance between humour and ridicule. Unfortunately I hope the Hate Crime Leglisation is not retrospective of I will be in the sin bin.
@drookit, thanks, archived.
link to archive.ph
@ Ruby, It was obvious immediately that your comment was a joke. It was obvious to anyone who read your original comments and links to the RNLI and Stonehaven petition stories.
If it makes you feel any better i for one only learned of these issues from your alerts, so thank you. Just because folk decide to comment on other things, rather than comment on something someone else posted, doesn’t mean they think the stories posted by others are any less important.
Just think how Stuart must feel at times. He puts in great efforts, time after time, to create interesting informative articles backed-up with evidence, no easy task, only for individuals to regularly go off topic and stay off topic. And that’s been going on for goodness knows how long. And we are all guilty of doing that at least once.
One thing has puzzled me though, from your comments, how could “Scottish nationalists” whip up hatred to drive a 10,000 signature petition when that petition took place long before any mention of it appeared here on WOS? Or were these “Scottish nationalists” on social media platforms and not on WOS? Or is this another case, which has become quite a regular occurrence since 2014, of so-called “Scottish nationalists” conveniently getting the blame for everything and anything?
If the accusations are false then folk should lodge (no pun intended) formal complaints with the police against that person spreading the malicious lies. I seem to vaguely recall a case of some Orange Order head-honcho from the IndyRef2014 era appearing in the mainstream media spreading utter bullshit. If memory serves, he had to eventually resign his position after sort-of admitting he was wrong?
So, cheer up Ruby, i for one am grateful for your contributions and i appreciate your humour too. I also suspect i’m not alone in that. So, smile, it’s Sunday. LOL!
As ever, the ‘softly, softly, approach to the morons
Thank you Stoker.
My comment about ‘no serious comments’ was directed at just one person. I should have made that clear.
The quote about ‘“Scottish nationalists” whipping up hatred’
came from this article.
link to archive.is
The petition blames Scottish nationalists for whipping up outrage against the parade, which was to mark the opening of a new Lodge in the town, due the Orange Order’s strongly British identity. It states: “…these same people would be furious if this happened to them. So it’s only fair in this country to allow both sides to openly debate and protest peacefully.
“Groups of people have deliberately targeted the local people to make sure this doesn’t work out for the oranges.
It’s all a bit bonkers but quite funny. I’ll see if I can track down their petition.
Maybe they are looking to add Anti-British to their list of hate crime complaints or maybe they didn’t want to believe that ordinary people without any political affiliation just didn’t want sectarian marches in their town.
Have good Sunday Stoker. Stay Cool! 🙂
link to archive.is
MARCHING ORDERS Police swarm newly-opened Orange Lodge as members gather after planned march was banned by Scots council
One pub owner told how they decided to close over fears there would be trouble and said it was like a “ghost town.”
link to archive.is
Shops close in Stonehaven as Orange Order descends
A full list of closed businesses was published online which sparked a backlash. A social media account for Vanguard Bears, a Rangers FC supporters group, urged its followers to boycott the outlets. “Return the serve — shops and businesses to avoid in Stonehaven,” it posted on X/Twitter. “Remember to give them a review on-line.”
The account also said that stickers posted in Stonehaven with cartoon Orangemen covered in red crosses amounted to hate crimes.
The number of hate crime complaints increasing daily.
Its stikers now.
I need a photo of these stickers.
Luke & Jack are going to be busy they might not have time to sell their pleasure products.
That’s the SNP appealing to Unionist voters isn’t it? By banning their marches and criminalising their faith.
It would have been cheaper to let the march go ahead, and let the protestants have a wee night in their new local lodge and boozer and sing their songs.
It doesn’t offend me in the slightest. Because I know when I go to Celtic Park, every single song in the pub is an Irish rebel song. About Bobby Sands. Or James Connolly. Or the Sam Song – a popular one at the moment with the fan base about shooting down a British helicopter with a missile…
It’s just men letting off steam in their own local boozer.
This Hate Crime Bill is coming to get football rivals and football banter.
That’s what’s happening.
Please look out for the stickers of
“Orangemen covered in red crosses”
Stu might want to include him in ‘Meet the Monsters’
link to wingsoverscotland.com
Might be a step-brother,a first cousin or maybe the Granda. 🙂
It’s all kicking off on ‘The Vanguard Bears’ etc online accounts.
Let the people sing their stories and their songs, and the music of their native land!
The Hate Crime Bill is going to unite old firm fans without doubt. It will hasten its demise before it even gets going.
Their lullabies and battlecries and songs of hope and joy
So join us hand in hand
All across this ancient land
Throughout the test of time
It was music that kept their spirits free
Those songs of yours and of mine
LET THE PEOPLE SING. I say!
The Protestants are like a men’s shed club. But at the end of the day they are like you and I. Working class men. That go back home to look after their families at the end of the weekend! And they love their football team. I don’t think any of them genuinely hate Catholics.
I think that the feeling of Scotland is, that the Hate Crime Bill is going to make White males second class citizens in our own country to the Nigerians and Muslims taking over our streets. I was on the bus into town from the East End of Glasgow. And it was full of Blacks and Immigrants. The country is changing.