So, some official and very brief Wings analysis, because we just watched an army of pundits on the TV all missing the bleeding obvious and talking as if a delay to Brexit was now a done deal.
After tonight’s series of votes in the Commons, all five of which were technically won by Theresa May, there are three possible outcomes. Let’s whizz through them all.
Guy Verhofstadt, leader of the ALDE group in the European Parliament (essentially the Euro Lib Dems), is by no means our standard go-to guy for political guidance. Like most European politicians he’s been criminally silent on the outrages being perpetrated by the government of Spain, and in general he’s a bit neoliberal for our tastes.
But his speech from yesterday is powerful stuff.
As we write this, the UK’s parliament is blundering through a third successive day of toe-curling farce on the floor of the Commons, aimed this time at securing some sort of extension to Brexit to avoid a disastrous no-deal in just 15 days’ time.
It may yet be that such a request will be issued and the EU will grant it, dragging out the whole awful mess for God knows how much longer. But judging by the tone of M. Verhofstadt’s impassioned, exasperated address in Strasbourg, we wouldn’t like to have money on it. It appears that an entire continent has had just about enough of us.
For some time, most polls for “Who’d make the best UK Prime Minister?” – the stat that really decides who wins general elections – have shown a solid lead for “Don’t know”, narrowly ahead of Theresa May and a long way ahead of Jeremy Corbyn.
It’s a prime symptom of a UK-wide contempt for politicians the magnitude of which we’ve never seen in our lifetime, and Scottish voters are in no way immune.
We loaded this question from our latest Panelbase poll in the party leaders’ favours, because you don’t have to think any of them is doing a GOOD job to say that one of them is doing the BEST job out of the four. Everything is relative – and we also didn’t ask the question specifically about Brexit.
But even with those get-outs, “They’re all useless” came out on top by a clear seven points over Nicola Sturgeon, and the rest weren’t even at the races.
Tonight sees what’s likely to be a highly-charged Scottish Cup quarter-final replay at Ibrox Stadium. Defeat will effectively end the losing side’s season, and games between the participants, Aberdeen and Rangers International, have tended to be fierce affairs ever since the latter club was formed in controversial circumstances in 2012, with this season’s clashes already having seen numerous red cards.
(Mainly for the home team’s temperamental striker Alfredo Morelos.)
Football authorities will be hoping for a minimum of flashpoints on the field which might lead to repeats of shocking recent scenes of abuse and violence from spectators, which have prompted the nation’s media to wring its hands in theatrical angst and demand that something be done.
The public’s view on the subject, meanwhile, has remained absolutely consistent.
Sundays have been the low point of Scottish political journalism for a while now. Traditionally a day when newspapers are heavy on comment and light on news (because politics tends to happen on weekdays), they unleash all the weary old dinosaurs who’ve been driving away readers for the last 30 years.
So you really have to stand out to be noticed for especially appalling hackery on a Sunday, which is probably why nobody from Scotland On Sunday wanted to have their name on this toe-curling piece of second-hand, lifted-from-another-paper garbage.
Professor Ronald MacDonald, you say? That name seems to ring a bell.
MARR: “What would [Theresa May] need to bring back [from Brexit negotiations] to win you over?”
DAVIS: “She needs to bring back a clear ability on the part of the United Kingdom to be able to leave this treaty when it chooses to. There is no other treaty in the world I’m aware of where a sovereign nation undertakes to join up and can only leave when the other side says so.”
We’re pretty sure we can think of an example, David.
Michael Glackin of the Sunday Times is the only serious contender to the Scotsman’s demented Brian Wilson as the most poisonously, blindly instinctive hater of anything even passingly connected to the SNP or independence in the Scottish media. His weekly bilious rants in the paper make even Scottish Daily Express hacks wince and say “Blimey, that’s a bit strong”.
But even by those standards, this week’s column is quite something. So let’s take a little look at just how much of an idiot you can make of yourself if you never allow facts to get in the way of your rage.
Watching the Six Nations rugby tournament every year is usually quite a dispiriting experience – not just because of Scotland’s invariably underwhelming performances (broken up by the occasional false dawn), but because talking about it on social media always results in an extremely tedious flood of comments about how rugby is a sport played and watched exclusively by middle-class Tory No voters.
(That’s Scotland skipper Greig Laidlaw there, with Wings mascot Hamish.)
Speaking as someone whose interest in the tournament (in the pre-inflation days when it was the Five Nations) was first sparked when my extremely working-class Bathgate comprehensive school started taking pupils to Murrayfield in the 1980s – 50p for the bus and 50p for the match ticket, which got you a seat on wooden benches actually on the grass – this attitude has always instinctively felt like complete nonsense.
So when we did our latest Panelbase poll during this year’s competition, we figured we may as well actually find out.
Geri on Irony you can’t buy: “Iran has responded to Trumps rant with ultimatums of their own. I’ll raise ye with five of oors.. They weren’t…” Mar 23, 01:24
Young Lochinvar on Irony you can’t buy: “Who, the doped-up out of control trigger-happy half trained conscript IDF? They’ll kill anything on 2 legs, four legs and…” Mar 23, 00:53
Young Lochinvar on Irony you can’t buy: “Just where is Hatey? I see death now stalks the w3st b8nk.. What’s the bets ol’ Hatey is over there…” Mar 23, 00:47
Mark Beggan on Irony you can’t buy: “The hour of doom is at hand for the Iranian people. Their chance to free themselves from a terror not…” Mar 23, 00:30
DaveL on Irony you can’t buy: “You’ll notice also how they’re staying away from the phrase ‘weapons of mass destruction’, WMD. They just say atomic bomb,…” Mar 22, 22:08
Geri on Irony you can’t buy: “The Labour party should be shunned just as equally as the Tories are and run out of Scotland. They’ve been…” Mar 22, 21:50
Geri on Irony you can’t buy: “They passed that point with a Jenny side. Issy doesn’t work alone. Everything needs American approval. His BS he’s telling…” Mar 22, 21:38
sam on Irony you can’t buy: “Trump’s adventure in the Niddle East is likely to lead to a humanitarian disaster there and a more repressive regime…” Mar 22, 21:22
Geri on Irony you can’t buy: “Aye, Alf. They didn’t serve under a Scottish political party. They served under the colonisers & not one of them…” Mar 22, 21:15
Geri on Looking up at the stars: “Africa. New Orleans was a French colony. They sold it to the Americans.” Mar 22, 20:56
Alf Baird on Irony you can’t buy: ““Tony Blair was born in Edinburgh and Gordon Brown was born in Giffnock” So that makes three centuries of colonial…” Mar 22, 17:30
Young Lochinvar on Irony you can’t buy: “Agentx JBG clearly means forthwith. Anyway; Teflon Tone survived so long as he made himself more English than the English…” Mar 22, 17:28
agentx on Irony you can’t buy: ““That being the case London will make sure that there will NEVER ever be a PM who is a SCOT”…” Mar 22, 16:54
James on Irony you can’t buy: “It is not a derogatory racist term as ‘scot free’ has zero to do with Scots or Scotland, see posts…” Mar 22, 16:09
sam on Irony you can’t buy: “Yes, Andy. The majority of people in Ireland (south of border), around 66% favour reunification. Their wishes are likely to…” Mar 22, 14:48
James Barr Gardner on Irony you can’t buy: ““Scotland is entirely FREE to leave only if its granted by the PM @ Westminster”. That being the case London…” Mar 22, 14:40
Geri on Irony you can’t buy: “What we need is a revolution & a spot of regime change. Forget Ayatollahs – we’ve got the fckn parasitic…” Mar 22, 14:24
Confused on Irony you can’t buy: “why? https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2026/03/21/drilling-north-sea-answer-energy-crisis/ – surely the city, being the engine of wealth creation, can solve all problems via the free market…” Mar 22, 13:05
Sven on Irony you can’t buy: “Mark Beggan @ 09.49. Twinkle, Twinkle, little star. I don’t wonder what you are. I surmised your spot in space…” Mar 22, 12:14
Northcode on Irony you can’t buy: “Could Sturgeon be a plagiarist? The quote “If everything is a scandal, nothing is.” is attributed to Mary Anne MacLeod…” Mar 22, 12:04
Andy Ellis on Irony you can’t buy: “even if NI wanted a border poll it down to the PM granting it even though its state they can…” Mar 22, 11:57
Northcode on Irony you can’t buy: “Professor Aileen Mcharg is English and a unionist (colonist if preferred… same thing)… so not much point in listening to…” Mar 22, 11:38
100%Yes on Irony you can’t buy: “George Galloway, maybe the only person to show the Labour supporters who want Independence that voting for the SNP is…” Mar 22, 11:34
100%Yes on Irony you can’t buy: “Aidan, I couldn’t post to you above as there was no reply option. Reading between the lines the SNP leadership/SG…” Mar 22, 11:20
Mark Beggan on Irony you can’t buy: “And when the Lefty’s were thrown down into hell. They cried! ” Lord forgive us we didny Ken” And the…” Mar 22, 10:56
agentx on Irony you can’t buy: ““William George Walker (SNP politician) A case was brought against Walker and was heard at Edinburgh Sheriff Court on nine…” Mar 22, 10:56
Northcode on Irony you can’t buy: ““So Scotland Independence hopes within the UK system is dead…” Such hopes were never alive, such hopes were never real,…” Mar 22, 10:48
Geri on Irony you can’t buy: “That is wrong. Scotland is a sovereign nation & there were preconditions before the Act of Union ever took place.…” Mar 22, 10:35
agentx on Irony you can’t buy: “Scottish Oath Taken: King Charles III took the statutory oath to uphold the Presbyterian Church of Scotland at the inaugural…” Mar 22, 10:29