Well, we must admit we didn’t see that one coming.
Although maybe it’s just because over the last few years the concept of an SNP MP having any sort of principles has become so wildly implausible.
Huh.
But hey, maybe it’s just one of those things where you only get a drop-down menu and there’s no option for “Scottish”, yeah?
Oh. Well, there you go then.
So this popped up this afternoon.
I checked, and it’s legitimately from Apple.
Humza Yousaf today:
So… his job is to get a legally binding referendum (something which doesn’t actually exist), but he knows that if we’re likely to win it we’re less likely to get it, so… we need to look like we’re going to lose one if it happens?
So presumably with support for the SNP already plummeting through the floor, the next phase of his grand strategy will be to drive support for independence down too? We suppose that’s a more rational explanation of the party’s actions in recent years than anything else we can think of, right enough.
Or of course, it might be that the guy’s just a complete gibbering idiot. You tell us.
Luckily, someone else has already said it for us.
The haunting words of a dead man, brought to you again on the exact anniversary of the day William Wallace was hung, drawn and quartered at Smithfield in London for treason against the English crown.
Three deaths for the price of one. RIP.
Readers, we’ve got nothing.
Did you all get together and arrange this as a massive prank while we were out at the shops? Because if so, well done, you got us, but it’s time to own up.
Look, we know. But there’s no news. Check out the state of it.
“KEYBOARD PLAYER ALLEGEDLY GOT FAT-SHAMED AT SOME UNSPECIFIED POINT IN TIME BY FOURTH-DIVISION BAND WHO LAST HAD A TOP 40 SINGLE IN 2006“ and “CYCLIST GOES TO TOILET”. Front pages.
(The keyboard player now works for SNP pie-disposal unit Anne McLaughlin, ironically, which seems to be the closest relationship the story has with current affairs. But hey, kudos to the Record for beating all the other papers to that “exclusive”.)
We remain alert. If anything remotely worthwhile happens, we’ll be on it.
Although we’ve only mentioned him in passing in articles about other people, serial Labour and Green election failure Heather Herbert is one of the creepiest and most irresponsible men in Scottish transactivism, which is no mean feat.
(We don’t know whether Herbert is his birth surname or if he chose it in tribute to the paedophile “Herbert the pervert” character in Family Guy, like another Scotland-based transactivist named himself after an infamous transwoman who was jailed for 18 years for a brutal attempted murder and another violent transactivist deliberately named himself after a well-known gender-critical feminist.)
He popped up on Talk TV last night, explaining how a middle-aged man twerking at a number of very young children – some of whom seemed visibly distressed – during a recent Pride march was fine because maybe the children had asked him to (which they manifestly hadn’t), and anyway it was their parents’ fault that it happened.
And, y’know, readers can make their own judgements about that.
Hannah Graf MBE (below, right, receiving the decoration from Prince William in 2019 for his “work updating LGBTQ policy in the British Army”) is a very strange fella.
And not just for the obvious reason.
Some of you still won’t have seen them, er, we mean “this”:
While it may have been the funniest – and Joanna Cherry silently spoke for every sane person in the nation as it went on – remarkably it wasn’t even the stupidest or most offensive part of her speech to yesterday’s Parliamentary debate in Westminster Hall about the definition of “sex” in the Equality Act.
Your first question, Ian Murray: who is the First Minister and leader of the SNP?
Ooh, sorry, zero points.
Wings Over Scotland is a thing that exists.
