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Archive for the ‘wtf’


Sandwich Down 139

Posted on July 04, 2024 by

We had to go and check for ourselves to make sure this really happened.

But it did.

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The Absence Of Pride 67

Posted on June 24, 2024 by

When you’ve been watching Scotland playing football for 50 years of your life, you become accustomed to disappointment. You expect disappointment. Anything better than disappointment becomes a bonus.

You also come to expect injustice, like last night’s inexplicable failure of VAR – which has unfailingly spotted micro-infringements like a player’s toenail being offside – to even take a look at a nailed-on stonewall penalty in the last minutes of the game.

But because you’re so used to these things, you’re not expecting rage.

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An Offer You Can’t Understand 110

Posted on June 20, 2024 by

This is one of the strangest political campaign videos we’ve ever seen.

Join us as we try to make sense of it.

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Step right up for the clown show 196

Posted on June 15, 2024 by

Holiday Boy is still off single-handedly feeding the cats of Greece, but the modern SNP is all the cartoon you need.

The Circus Of Hate 286

Posted on May 09, 2024 by

Well, what a nice statement of unity and tolerance this is:

And only slightly undermined by coming from THIS guy:

But Smith’s new message of tolerance hasn’t fully penetrated the party ranks.

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The Labyrinth Of Stupidity 142

Posted on April 26, 2024 by

It’s probably as good an illustration of the madness currently engulfing Scottish politics as anything that the most unusual suspect, Anas Sarwar, may have just – temporarily at least – saved Humza Yousaf’s job.

And although our head hurts already, we’ll try to explain why.

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Fanny Dancing 101

Posted on April 25, 2024 by

Oh, wait, scratch everything.

Because this guy’s just wasting everybody’s time.

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An Uncommon Occurrence 41

Posted on April 24, 2024 by

News reaches Wings this evening that Humza Yousaf has called an emergency meeting of the Scottish Cabinet at 10 o’clock tomorrow morning, just a couple of hours before FMQs. (This information has been confirmed directly to us by a source very close to a member of said Cabinet.)

An emergency Cabinet meeting is an extraordinarily rare event. As far as we’re able to establish there have only been two during the SNP’s time in power – when the budget failed to pass in 2009 and Alex Salmond’s administration had to decide whether or not to trigger a general election, and one the day after the Brexit vote to supposedly plan a second indyref (LOL). But in any case they’re extremely unusual.

The subject of the meeting has not been disclosed to us. It could, for example, concern imminent developments in Operation Branchform, or it could relate to the Bute House Agreement between the SNP and the Scottish Greens. The men in grey kilts may have come for the FM. Or Scotland could be about to declare war on Morocco or something. But we are told that the fact of the meeting taking place is a 100% certainty.

So no sleeping in tomorrow, readers. It’s probably going to be big.

When there’s no-one left to fight 96

Posted on March 13, 2024 by

Everyone’s having a lot of fun with the farcical Hate Crime Act that will finally come into operation in Scotland in just a couple of weeks’ time, fittingly on April Fools’ Day.

Even by the Scottish Government’s abysmally rank standards of legislation over the last decade it’s an embarrassing binfire, with citizens being urged to rock up at fishmongers, mushroom farms and demolished tower blocks to report “hate crimes”.

And you’d have to laugh, except that might be a crime soon too.

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The reddest flag in history 61

Posted on January 30, 2024 by

Nicola Sturgeon is due to give her evidence to the COVID inquiry tomorrow – if, of course, she remembers anything. We’re awaiting, open-mouthed in genuine shock, her explanation for this.

Because try as hard as we might, we cannot for the lives of us bring to mind a single possible legitimate justification for a First Minister to do such a thing.

Alert readers may however note that 19 March 2020 was just four days before Alex Salmond was cleared of all charges, and might find themselves pondering the reasons why she might want to be in possession of a cheap disposable text-capable phone at that particular point in time.

An unexpected development 635

Posted on November 27, 2023 by

Apparently I’ve removed myself as the head of me for misbehaviour.

These are zany times in the independence movement, readers. Hold on.

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The Lowest Low 342

Posted on November 16, 2023 by

This is officially the most embarrassed to be Scottish we’ve ever been.

And we’re including both the 2014 Commonwealth Games opening ceremony AND the time Craig Levein played 4-6-0 against the Czech Republic in that.

We have a government of clowns. Please, somebody, make it stop.

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    • Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Marvola The Memory Woman: “POLICE SCOTLAND SLAMMED FOR SPENDING THOUSANDS ON PRO-TRANS ADVICE PANEL Police Scotland is under fire for spending over £7,200 on…May 29, 22:48
    • Geri on Marvola The Memory Woman: “She looks like she’s a permanent resident of the kitchen these days. Especially around the fridge area. Aye, I know.…May 29, 22:16
    • Hatey McHateface on Marvola The Memory Woman: ““Everything that has emerged concerning the Murrell/Sturgeon affair is consistent with the explanatory framework provided by the political theory mentioned…May 29, 22:11
    • agentx on Marvola The Memory Woman: “Incredible that she employs an expensive solicitor and then ignores the “no comment” advice.May 29, 21:54
    • Confused on Marvola The Memory Woman: “poor little Nikki – “I don’t wanna … talk about it … ” – and yet she won’t stop talking…May 29, 21:53
    • paul on Marvola The Memory Woman: “I disagree. There is a good deal of good in hounding her (her passion partner has gone) as every time…May 29, 21:40
    • Jay on Marvola The Memory Woman: “Do tell us Chas, are you one of those sane, educated persons to whom you refer (in response to Alf)?…May 29, 21:00
    • agentx on Marvola The Memory Woman: ““In the period leading up to the launch of the police inquiry senior people in the SNP including the former…May 29, 20:20
    • bobo bunny on Marvola The Memory Woman: “if its a matrimonial home, I dont think it can be sold, until they are legally divorcedMay 29, 20:06
    • bobo bunny on Marvola The Memory Woman: “she’s at the hay festival todayMay 29, 20:01
    • agentx on Marvola The Memory Woman: ““Nicola Sturgeon said a coffee machine would be her luxury item when she appeared on Desert Island Discs. Scotland’s former…May 29, 19:48
    • Frank Gillougley on Marvola The Memory Woman: “She said that she had been ‘deceived, misled, lied to and betrayed’ Well, whatdya know? That’s not irony bypass, thats…May 29, 19:43
    • agentx on Marvola The Memory Woman: “Well I’ve just seen No Further Comment Sturgeon on BBC news, ITV news and Channel 4 news making further comments.…May 29, 19:34
    • Hatey McHateface on Marvola The Memory Woman: “It’s reasonable to assume she may have thrown the odd steam iron in his direction from time to time.May 29, 19:06
    • Sue Varley on Marvola The Memory Woman: “She certainly used to go in the kitchen – remember the photo of her showing off her expensive coffee machine…May 29, 19:04
    • Ex President Xiden on Marvola The Memory Woman: “I think it’s most appropriate that Nicola is currently on a tour of story telling festivals.May 29, 18:54
    • agentx on Marvola The Memory Woman: ““Nicola Sturgeon has said she wishes she had not kept Peter Murrell on as SNP chief executive when she became…May 29, 18:35
    • agentx on Marvola The Memory Woman: “Starmer will be PM “in the next few weeks”. If Burnham is elected at the by election nothing will happen…May 29, 18:30
    • Young Lochinvar on Marvola The Memory Woman: “Duty rumour doing the rounds is that all the gear sneaky Pete “acquired” with others money will not be returned…May 29, 18:17
    • Hatey McHateface on Marvola The Memory Woman: “Call that news, x? I’ll tell you what would be news. If The National could accurately predict who the PM…May 29, 18:07
    • Hatey McHateface on Marvola The Memory Woman: “Might be “resting” somewhere. I’ve heard that does happen.May 29, 18:01
    • Hatey McHateface on Marvola The Memory Woman: ““The term ‘scot-free’ has bugger aw tae dae wi the Scots” Well now. Let’s just wait until the partan-faced lady…May 29, 17:57
    • GM on Marvola The Memory Woman: “Agree 100% We need all the facts out there. Court the only place it can be done. Graeme White’s comments…May 29, 17:49
    • J Robertson on Marvola The Memory Woman: “He probably “bought” and wrapped his own Xmas and birthday pressiesMay 29, 17:44
    • Stephen on Marvola The Memory Woman: “100% and Scotland would have been a much better place if he had not resigned on September 19th 2014May 29, 17:35
    • Stephen on Marvola The Memory Woman: “The problem Nicola still does not recognise is that when you tell a lie you then have to tell 10…May 29, 17:32
    • Luigi on Marvola The Memory Woman: “Can the then SNP leadership be sued for negligence for failing to protect donations? There must be some way for…May 29, 17:28
    • GM on Marvola The Memory Woman: “What’s he got to be in a huff aboot? This is the finest of times to get the videos out…May 29, 17:18
    • agentx on Marvola The Memory Woman: ““JOHN Swinney will request a Section 30 order from the Prime Minister when they meet in “the next few weeks”…May 29, 17:17
    • Luigi on Marvola The Memory Woman: “Implausible DeniabilityMay 29, 16:54
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