You’d have to be living in a pretty strict prison not to have heard the big story from today’s Olympics in Paris, in which male Algerian cheat Imane Khelefi was put in a boxing ring with young Italian woman Angela Carini and allowed to hit her in the head for 46 seconds until she retired, in tears and in fear for her safety, saying “I had to preserve my life”.
Sound like your kind of fun, men? It’s surprisingly easy!
When you’ve been watching Scotland playing football for 50 years of your life, you become accustomed to disappointment. You expect disappointment. Anything better than disappointment becomes a bonus.
It’s probably as good an illustration of the madness currently engulfing Scottish politics as anything that the most unusual suspect, Anas Sarwar, may have just – temporarily at least – saved Humza Yousaf’s job.
And although our head hurts already, we’ll try to explain why.
News reaches Wings this evening that Humza Yousaf has called an emergency meeting of the Scottish Cabinet at 10 o’clock tomorrow morning, just a couple of hours before FMQs. (This information has been confirmed directly to us by a source very close to a member of said Cabinet.)
An emergency Cabinet meeting is an extraordinarily rare event. As far as we’re able to establish there have only been two during the SNP’s time in power – when the budget failed to pass in 2009 and Alex Salmond’s administration had to decide whether or not to trigger a general election, and one the day after the Brexit vote to supposedly plan a second indyref (LOL). But in any case they’re extremely unusual.
The subject of the meeting has not been disclosed to us. It could, for example, concern imminent developments in Operation Branchform, or it could relate to the Bute House Agreement between the SNP and the Scottish Greens. The men in grey kilts may have come for the FM. Or Scotland could be about to declare war on Morocco or something. But we are told that the fact of the meeting taking place is a 100% certainty.
So no sleeping in tomorrow, readers. It’s probably going to be big.
Everyone’s having a lot of fun with the farcical Hate Crime Act that will finally come into operation in Scotland in just a couple of weeks’ time, fittingly on April Fools’ Day.
Nicola Sturgeon is due to give her evidence to the COVID inquiry tomorrow – if, of course, she remembers anything. We’re awaiting, open-mouthed in genuine shock, her explanation for this.
Because try as hard as we might, we cannot for the lives of us bring to mind a single possible legitimate justification for a First Minister to do such a thing.
Alert readers may however note that 19 March 2020 was just four days before Alex Salmond was cleared of all charges, and might find themselves pondering the reasons why she might want to be in possession of a cheap disposable text-capable phone at that particular point in time.
sam on The Only Notes That Really Count: “Yes, it is. https://academic.oup.com/eurpub/article/35/2/235/8008562?login=false “Profound changes to mortality trends and inequalities were observed across both nations and all cities in…” Jul 10, 12:17
Alf Baird on The Only Notes That Really Count: “The highest legislative authority over Scotland is England’s House of Commons, House of Lords and King; and Scotland is their…” Jul 10, 11:38
Southernbystander on The Interests Of The Many: “James – you will have noticed I am English living in England so that is what I mean by ‘we’…” Jul 10, 11:31
Aidan on The Only Notes That Really Count: “The second element of the Ghosh test is disapplied yes, the point is the test used to determine whether a…” Jul 10, 11:06
Willie on The Only Notes That Really Count: “Id say you should join You were defrauded, the fraud clearly caused you distress since you were upset enough to…” Jul 10, 10:43
sam on The Only Notes That Really Count: “I think the referendum fund raising kicked off in March 2017. Were the Weirs paid back their loan in 2018?…” Jul 10, 10:41
Alf Baird on The Only Notes That Really Count: “The usual caveat from postcolonial theory applies, following on from the increasingly dubious events over the last decade or so,…” Jul 10, 10:35
crazycat on The Only Notes That Really Count: “@ Aidan at 8.04 That’s covered in paragraphs 19-24 – Ghosh does not apply. I’m not a lawyer, but it…” Jul 10, 10:19
laukat on The Only Notes That Really Count: “Wee question – I donated but got my £25 refunded in 2019. In theory that’s a couple of years where…” Jul 10, 09:44
Hatey McHateface on The Only Notes That Really Count: “Any suggestions for the timeline over which all of this will work out? It’s looking like many of us will…” Jul 10, 08:46
Dave Albiston on The Only Notes That Really Count: “Does anyone have the timeline of when: The Weirs called in their loan The referendum fund was announced” Jul 10, 08:46
Ian on The Only Notes That Really Count: “Thought I’d see what AI makes of political betrayal and it’s consequences. It basically boils down to how strong denial…” Jul 10, 08:33
Aidan on The Interests Of The Many: “It can’t be nice being “James”, as he told us yesterday the voices inside his head are speaking in an…” Jul 10, 08:17
Hatey McHateface on The Only Notes That Really Count: ““Fresh start required, brains and stamina required, common sense reinstated, drop the rubbish, start the plans” To that, I would…” Jul 10, 08:05
Hatey McHateface on The Only Notes That Really Count: “Don’t you mean “raise a disposable plastic cup”? I don’t see you as the type who has much in the…” Jul 10, 07:46
BLMac on The Only Notes That Really Count: “If you look at the events of the last few years it’s obvious that when the SNP cleared out the…” Jul 10, 07:40
Hatey McHateface on The Interests Of The Many: “Hey, CC, you got a “please” from Wally W. He must have twigged he gets mair haddies thrown his way…” Jul 10, 07:30
Captain Caveman on The Interests Of The Many: ““Blow it out your arse”™, Fatso. People like me were the first to be thrilled for Scotland when the great…” Jul 10, 07:06
Captain Caveman on The Only Notes That Really Count: “I know this will be an alien concept, YL, but some of us have to be up with the lark…” Jul 10, 06:25
Aidan on The Only Notes That Really Count: “Aye I think the facts of the case probably do lean against the narrative I set out above, but I…” Jul 10, 06:04
Young Lochinvar on The Only Notes That Really Count: “Ooh errr.. Muham..d has just topped the list of male newborns names in home of Torydom Merry ol’ Engerlund.. Wowsers!…” Jul 10, 04:40
What Rot on The Only Notes That Really Count: “I contributed, more than I could afford at the time, but I’ve got zero evidence now that I ever did.…” Jul 10, 03:08
Onlooker on The Only Notes That Really Count: “The only notes that really count…are the ones that come in wads. Indeed.” Jul 10, 02:07
Young Lochinvar on The Only Notes That Really Count: “Ooops! Meant to say: HMcH @ 8.52. Anyway it’s after his bedtime/ wing lockdown now anyhows.. Waiting for hung-over intemperate…” Jul 10, 02:06
Young Lochinvar on The Only Notes That Really Count: “HMcH Somehow I doubt Roddy feels particularly chastised by your wee piece of grandstanding.. Anyways peeps, happy birthday tomorrow to…” Jul 10, 01:48
Stuart Swanston on The Only Notes That Really Count: “Once the donors who had requested repayment had been refunded we must assume that that total subtracted from the grand…” Jul 10, 01:02
