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Archive for the ‘wtf’


Someone tell us the rules 135

Posted on May 18, 2023 by

As we told you on Tuesday, this happened today:

And we just can’t tell how it works any more.

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The King Of Wishful Thinking 150

Posted on May 17, 2023 by

We had to check this wasn’t Photoshopped.

It isn’t.

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Something to hide 86

Posted on April 21, 2023 by

Alert readers may recall our last foray into Freedom Of Information requests, when a couple of weeks ago we belatedly received a peculiarly evasive response from Police Scotland with regard to a meeting in February between the then-Chief Constable, Deputy Chief Constable and the justice secretary Keith Brown.

We duly followed it up with an FOI to the Scottish Government for Keith Brown’s official diary on that day – just about the most mundane, run-of-the-mill request possible. We expected nothing remarkable, just a short list of meetings, fully corroborating what we were told by Police Scotland.

What we got was rather more intriguing.

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The Party’s Over 399

Posted on April 09, 2023 by

On a day like today, all an honest person can really do with the Scottish National Party is make like Pontius Pilate and wash their hands of it.

Because there ain’t no resurrection from this.

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Humza’s Sneaky Peek 85

Posted on March 24, 2023 by

Wait what now?


And how would he know that, exactly?

Spinning the wheel 439

Posted on March 22, 2023 by

We’ve been thinking about it since last night, and we’re not sure if Humza Yousaf now still has ANY of the policies he started the leadership election with.

But this one‘s got us extra-specially perplexed, since at the start it was pretty much the main unique selling point he was hanging his whole campaign on.

Maybe you can help us out, readers.

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Fantasy Island 202

Posted on March 21, 2023 by

We can’t even satirise this stuff.

We might have a day off.

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Rogue Trooper 129

Posted on March 16, 2023 by

Hats off to the SNP. Every time we think that the party’s leadership election can’t get any more absurdly farcical, they pull something extra-mad out of the bag.

After this happened yesterday, it suddenly become “known” across the Scottish media that the SNP NEC was going to hold an extraordinary meeting in order to authorise the release of the membership figures after all three candidates demanded them.

Some of the country’s most senior hacks, including BBC Scotland’s Political Editor and the editor of the Daily Record, sombrely informed their readers of the development.

Only trouble was, nobody had told the SNP NEC.

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There Are No Rules 82

Posted on March 16, 2023 by

This is the SNP members’ website tonight.

Looks like anything goes, folks.

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The Gauntlet 149

Posted on March 15, 2023 by

Well, this has set the cat amongst the pigeons.

Because the SNP leadership election is now a full-blown four-alarm skip fire.

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The Thin Pink Line 278

Posted on February 26, 2023 by

The charity LGBT Youth Scotland is currently the subject of a live police investigation over its involvement in a second major child-abuse scandal in little over a decade.

So you’d expect Police Scotland to be taking that pretty seriously, right?

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Fingers on the pulse 110

Posted on February 24, 2023 by

BBC NEWS: [abysmal, unprofessional disgrace to broadcasting]

ITV NEWS: Hold our beer!

(Still not deleted/fixed seven hours later.)

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    • James Che on Response Level Upgrade: “Spartan 117. Ed milliband’s net zero agenda would not even be inScotland if the 1707 treaty of union was real,…Jun 19, 09:44
    • James Che on Response Level Upgrade: “Alf Baird is pretty accurate in stating Scotland is a Colonised Country of England, It would be helpful however Alf…Jun 19, 09:15
    • robertkknight on Response Level Upgrade: “So, Aberdeen South had a unionist MP yesterday, and has a unionist MP today. Plus ça change, mon ami, plus…Jun 19, 09:12
    • Spartan 117 on Response Level Upgrade: “Very little shocking regarding the attendees or the topics being discussed. It’s not even hidden anymore that our masters are…Jun 19, 09:12
    • Aidan on Response Level Upgrade: “And yet here you are again, obsessively following everything I post like some crazed stalker. I bet if I posted…Jun 19, 08:57
    • TURABDIN on Response Level Upgrade: “MEANWHILE… the real masters of the universe play around with goofy ideas. https://www.ibtimes.co.uk/data-breach-exposes-secrets-peter-thiel-dialog-retreat-1803198 Watch out, the antichrist’s about….scary stuff. Tomorrow…Jun 19, 08:56
    • Willie on Response Level Upgrade: “Thanks MaryB a typo on my part. The Tory victory in Aberdeen South reflects the utter disenchantment with voters about…Jun 19, 08:53
    • Spartan 117 on Response Level Upgrade: “An enthusiastic rejection of tyrannical Net Zero policies by the voters of Aberdeen South who have seen high-quality employment and…Jun 19, 08:34
    • James Che on Response Level Upgrade: “The Scots that went down to sit in the parliament of Englands Westminster were no longer members of a Scottish…Jun 19, 08:13
    • Captain Caveman on Response Level Upgrade: “Wow, more random brain farts in the dead of night, YL? What has any of this nonsense got to do…Jun 19, 07:52
    • James Che on Response Level Upgrade: “Sam. King James was known as the Great pretender in England and later in Scotland dueto him self declaring himself…Jun 19, 07:51
    • MaryB on Response Level Upgrade: “Correction above: The SNP lost Aberdeen SouthJun 19, 06:33
    • Willie on Response Level Upgrade: “So, the SNP have lost Edinburgh South by election to the Tories and held on to the Arbroath Broughty Ferry…Jun 19, 06:16
    • Cynicus on Response Level Upgrade: “SNP hold Arbroath SLab drop to 4th having run SNP close in 2024. “Starmer factor” seems to have benefited SNP…Jun 19, 02:11
    • Cynicus on Response Level Upgrade: “SNP hold Arbroath and Broughty Ferry -with 41% of the vote. SLab down to 4th.Jun 19, 01:59
    • Cynicus on Response Level Upgrade: “Tories have indeed won Aberdeen South Tories destroy SNP there with majority of c. 6000 votes Should they send their…Jun 19, 01:52
    • Young Lochinvar on Response Level Upgrade: “Aidan Bad enough that it may have been so without you wishing it so and now crowing over it..Jun 19, 01:31
    • Cynicus on Response Level Upgrade: “Tories tipped to win Aberdeen South. SNP source:”we have lost”Jun 19, 01:15
    • Cynicus on Response Level Upgrade: “Tories tipped to win Aberdeen South. SNP siurce:”we have lost”Jun 19, 01:15
    • Young Lochinvar on Response Level Upgrade: “Jimmy 6 of Scotland, held and tutored (mentally tortured?) by Protestant Lords and what I suppose you would call (English…Jun 19, 01:04
    • Young Lochinvar on Response Level Upgrade: “CC My goodness! When you post all teary eyed and Unionist like this it’s difficult to read yer posts without…Jun 19, 00:00
    • James on Response Level Upgrade: “Adrian got it half right for once. The first half, obvs; you’re right; I couldn’t give a flying fuck about…Jun 18, 22:52
    • Oneliner on Response Level Upgrade: “RespectJun 18, 22:00
    • sam on Response Level Upgrade: “Was he not already king of Scotland, therefore crowned here, before he was offered and took crown of England?Jun 18, 20:35
    • sam on Response Level Upgrade: “Talking to yourself?Jun 18, 20:31
    • Aidan on Response Level Upgrade: “Well that’s good news on this lovely summer evening, let’s all open a beer to celebrate.Jun 18, 20:00
    • Aidan on Response Level Upgrade: ““James” Rather than expressing completely ingenuine and totally unnecessary concern for me, why don’t you address your own enormous and…Jun 18, 19:54
    • James Che on Response Level Upgrade: “The Westminster parliament for England and annexed Wales was a little bit too anxious to capture Scotland and rushed it…Jun 18, 19:18
    • Insider on Response Level Upgrade: “For Christ’s sake…shut up you crazy old bat !Jun 18, 19:16
    • James Che on Response Level Upgrade: “Sam, Correct me if I am wrong, Was king James coronated or crowned in Scotland or did he self declare…Jun 18, 19:01
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