Readers, we’ve got nothing.
Did you all get together and arrange this as a massive prank while we were out at the shops? Because if so, well done, you got us, but it’s time to own up.
Look, we know. But there’s no news. Check out the state of it.
“KEYBOARD PLAYER ALLEGEDLY GOT FAT-SHAMED AT SOME UNSPECIFIED POINT IN TIME BY FOURTH-DIVISION BAND WHO LAST HAD A TOP 40 SINGLE IN 2006“ and “CYCLIST GOES TO TOILET”. Front pages.
(The keyboard player now works for SNP pie-disposal unit Anne McLaughlin, ironically, which seems to be the closest relationship the story has with current affairs. But hey, kudos to the Record for beating all the other papers to that “exclusive”.)
We remain alert. If anything remotely worthwhile happens, we’ll be on it.
Although we’ve only mentioned him in passing in articles about other people, serial Labour and Green election failure Heather Herbert is one of the creepiest and most irresponsible men in Scottish transactivism, which is no mean feat.
(We don’t know whether Herbert is his birth surname or if he chose it in tribute to the paedophile “Herbert the pervert” character in Family Guy, like another Scotland-based transactivist named himself after an infamous transwoman who was jailed for 18 years for a brutal attempted murder and another violent transactivist deliberately named himself after a well-known gender-critical feminist.)
He popped up on Talk TV last night, explaining how a middle-aged man twerking at a number of very young children – some of whom seemed visibly distressed – during a recent Pride march was fine because maybe the children had asked him to (which they manifestly hadn’t), and anyway it was their parents’ fault that it happened.
And, y’know, readers can make their own judgements about that.
Hannah Graf MBE (below, right, receiving the decoration from Prince William in 2019 for his “work updating LGBTQ policy in the British Army”) is a very strange fella.
And not just for the obvious reason.
Some of you still won’t have seen them, er, we mean “this”:
While it may have been the funniest – and Joanna Cherry silently spoke for every sane person in the nation as it went on – remarkably it wasn’t even the stupidest or most offensive part of her speech to yesterday’s Parliamentary debate in Westminster Hall about the definition of “sex” in the Equality Act.
Your first question, Ian Murray: who is the First Minister and leader of the SNP?
Ooh, sorry, zero points.
Alert readers may recall our last foray into Freedom Of Information requests, when a couple of weeks ago we belatedly received a peculiarly evasive response from Police Scotland with regard to a meeting in February between the then-Chief Constable, Deputy Chief Constable and the justice secretary Keith Brown.
We duly followed it up with an FOI to the Scottish Government for Keith Brown’s official diary on that day – just about the most mundane, run-of-the-mill request possible. We expected nothing remarkable, just a short list of meetings, fully corroborating what we were told by Police Scotland.
What we got was rather more intriguing.
On a day like today, all an honest person can really do with the Scottish National Party is make like Pontius Pilate and wash their hands of it.
Because there ain’t no resurrection from this.
Wait what now?
And how would he know that, exactly?
We’ve been thinking about it since last night, and we’re not sure if Humza Yousaf now still has ANY of the policies he started the leadership election with.
But this one‘s got us extra-specially perplexed, since at the start it was pretty much the main unique selling point he was hanging his whole campaign on.
Maybe you can help us out, readers.
Wings Over Scotland is a thing that exists.
