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Archive for the ‘wtf’


The topical news quiz 96

Posted on June 11, 2023 by

Your first question, Ian Murray: who is the First Minister and leader of the SNP?

Ooh, sorry, zero points.

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Someone tell us the rules 135

Posted on May 18, 2023 by

As we told you on Tuesday, this happened today:

And we just can’t tell how it works any more.

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The King Of Wishful Thinking 150

Posted on May 17, 2023 by

We had to check this wasn’t Photoshopped.

It isn’t.

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Something to hide 86

Posted on April 21, 2023 by

Alert readers may recall our last foray into Freedom Of Information requests, when a couple of weeks ago we belatedly received a peculiarly evasive response from Police Scotland with regard to a meeting in February between the then-Chief Constable, Deputy Chief Constable and the justice secretary Keith Brown.

We duly followed it up with an FOI to the Scottish Government for Keith Brown’s official diary on that day – just about the most mundane, run-of-the-mill request possible. We expected nothing remarkable, just a short list of meetings, fully corroborating what we were told by Police Scotland.

What we got was rather more intriguing.

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The Party’s Over 399

Posted on April 09, 2023 by

On a day like today, all an honest person can really do with the Scottish National Party is make like Pontius Pilate and wash their hands of it.

Because there ain’t no resurrection from this.

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Humza’s Sneaky Peek 85

Posted on March 24, 2023 by

Wait what now?


And how would he know that, exactly?

Spinning the wheel 439

Posted on March 22, 2023 by

We’ve been thinking about it since last night, and we’re not sure if Humza Yousaf now still has ANY of the policies he started the leadership election with.

But this one‘s got us extra-specially perplexed, since at the start it was pretty much the main unique selling point he was hanging his whole campaign on.

Maybe you can help us out, readers.

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Fantasy Island 202

Posted on March 21, 2023 by

We can’t even satirise this stuff.

We might have a day off.

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Rogue Trooper 129

Posted on March 16, 2023 by

Hats off to the SNP. Every time we think that the party’s leadership election can’t get any more absurdly farcical, they pull something extra-mad out of the bag.

After this happened yesterday, it suddenly become “known” across the Scottish media that the SNP NEC was going to hold an extraordinary meeting in order to authorise the release of the membership figures after all three candidates demanded them.

Some of the country’s most senior hacks, including BBC Scotland’s Political Editor and the editor of the Daily Record, sombrely informed their readers of the development.

Only trouble was, nobody had told the SNP NEC.

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There Are No Rules 82

Posted on March 16, 2023 by

This is the SNP members’ website tonight.

Looks like anything goes, folks.

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The Gauntlet 149

Posted on March 15, 2023 by

Well, this has set the cat amongst the pigeons.

Because the SNP leadership election is now a full-blown four-alarm skip fire.

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The Thin Pink Line 278

Posted on February 26, 2023 by

The charity LGBT Youth Scotland is currently the subject of a live police investigation over its involvement in a second major child-abuse scandal in little over a decade.

So you’d expect Police Scotland to be taking that pretty seriously, right?

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    • 100%Yes on It just takes a beat: “It going to be very hard for the police and Crown Office to ignore the resent actions of the SNP.…Jul 10, 14:02
    • Hatey McHateface on It just takes a beat: ““when the answer arrives it really better be a good one” Friday lunchtime. Scotland’s great and good would usually be…Jul 10, 13:57
    • 100%Yes on It just takes a beat: “The police and Crown Office, have lost the will to live. I feel sure they’d wished they had never heard…Jul 10, 13:48
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    • Hatey McHateface on The Only Notes That Really Count: “I was looking forwards to the bit about the green cheese. Still, the day is yet young. Try not to…Jul 10, 13:42
    • Hatey McHateface on The Only Notes That Really Count: ““Profound changes to ethnicity were observed across both nations and all cities in the decade up to 2020” There you…Jul 10, 13:38
    • Mitch on It just takes a beat: “There’s a time limit on judicial review so be careful offering them unlimited time to respond.Jul 10, 13:33
    • Jeremy Dawson on It just takes a beat: “see paragraph 25 of Dunlop’s advice.Jul 10, 13:33
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    • duncanio on It just takes a beat: “If the allegations of embezzlement are true, and even if not all donors claim money back or don’t receive it…Jul 10, 13:12
    • 100%Yes on The Only Notes That Really Count: “In the National it states “SNP spokesperson offered to refund anyone who had donated to the supposedly ring-fenced funds.” I…Jul 10, 13:01
    • Rob on The Only Notes That Really Count: “I think the SP made a complete arse of it without any assistance from Westminster. Blaming them for everything is…Jul 10, 13:00
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    • 100%Yes on The Only Notes That Really Count: “Someone been taking the time out and visiting wings and taking head of what been said. The summons has had…Jul 10, 12:54
    • 100%Yes on The Only Notes That Really Count: “You’ve had the effect the SNP hoped no one would notice and just move on. Well done Wings. But like…Jul 10, 12:47
    • 100%Yes on The Only Notes That Really Count: “SNP offer refunds for people who donated to ‘ring-fenced’ indyref2 fund.Jul 10, 12:44
    • sam on The Only Notes That Really Count: “Yes, it is. https://academic.oup.com/eurpub/article/35/2/235/8008562?login=false “Profound changes to mortality trends and inequalities were observed across both nations and all cities in…Jul 10, 12:17
    • agentx on The Only Notes That Really Count: “Yea as I said – it’s all England’s fault.Jul 10, 11:46
    • Alf Baird on The Only Notes That Really Count: “The highest legislative authority over Scotland is England’s House of Commons, House of Lords and King; and Scotland is their…Jul 10, 11:38
    • Southernbystander on The Interests Of The Many: “James – you will have noticed I am English living in England so that is what I mean by ‘we’…Jul 10, 11:31
    • Aidan on The Only Notes That Really Count: “The second element of the Ghosh test is disapplied yes, the point is the test used to determine whether a…Jul 10, 11:06
    • agentx on The Only Notes That Really Count: “It’s all England’s fault.Jul 10, 11:04
    • Willie on The Only Notes That Really Count: “Id say you should join You were defrauded, the fraud clearly caused you distress since you were upset enough to…Jul 10, 10:43
    • sam on The Only Notes That Really Count: “I think the referendum fund raising kicked off in March 2017. Were the Weirs paid back their loan in 2018?…Jul 10, 10:41
    • Alf Baird on The Only Notes That Really Count: “The usual caveat from postcolonial theory applies, following on from the increasingly dubious events over the last decade or so,…Jul 10, 10:35
    • crazycat on The Only Notes That Really Count: “@ Aidan at 8.04 That’s covered in paragraphs 19-24 – Ghosh does not apply. I’m not a lawyer, but it…Jul 10, 10:19
    • Jay on The Only Notes That Really Count: “The sooner, the betterJul 10, 10:00
    • laukat on The Only Notes That Really Count: “Wee question – I donated but got my £25 refunded in 2019. In theory that’s a couple of years where…Jul 10, 09:44
    • GB on The Only Notes That Really Count: “Me tooJul 10, 09:21
    • Hatey McHateface on The Only Notes That Really Count: “Any suggestions for the timeline over which all of this will work out? It’s looking like many of us will…Jul 10, 08:46
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