This was Scottish Tory uberdunce Jamie Greene a few weeks ago, bitterly attacking the SNP for spending £22,000 on consulting the public over a policy on which the party won a landslide victory in the 2016 Holyrood election.
You might think that a government pursuing the manifesto policies it was elected on was a pretty legitimate thing to do, especially when it was asking voters for their views in order to shape that policy. Perhaps Greene was confused because the Tories have been acting as if they, not the SNP, won the election. But that raises another question.
Earlier today we reported on the mysterious failure of the Herald to notice that its front page lead story about supposedly poor ScotRail punctuality figures made a number of serious errors with regard to the facts, most notably confusing the excellent figures for last month with a 12-month rolling average which was significantly worse.
But as we read the rest of the papers, we noticed the oddest thing.
Today’s Daily Record covers the story we mentioned yesterday about a report from a Scottish Labour campaign group making the pretty factually-uncontestable point that the branch office’s dismal strategy in last month’s election held the UK party back.
We’ll be honest with you here, readers – even though it’s only July, when it comes to sheer ham-fisted, tin-eared, clown-shoed, foot-shooting idiocy we didn’t think anything in Scottish politics in 2017 could possibly top the SNP’s decision that the surefire way to win back voters after a poor election result was literally mutilating puppies.
After all, that’s the sort of thing you say as a self-evidently ludicrous and hyperbolic joke: “Ha ha, the SNP are so dominant in Scotland these days that the only way they could lose an election would be if Nicola Sturgeon went on telly and started hacking the tails off week-old puppy-dogs without anaesthetic! LOL!!!!!”
It couldn’t even be defended as a grotesque but cynically cunning attempt to win votes from the rural hunting-and-fishing lobby – they did it right AFTER the election, when all those people had just gone out and voted Tory anyway.
But bless their hearts, Scottish Labour never once saw a low bar that they didn’t try to slither under, and today they pulled off the seemingly impossible.
We’re still on holiday, because five years of stuff like this ruins your soul:
Let’s look at the logic of that closely for just one minute, and then we’re going to go back to smashing our head off a brick wall to try to make the stupid go away.
Brexit is already a shambles. Everyone south of Manchester is unhappy because it’s too suffocatingly hot to move, and everyone north of Manchester is unhappy because they’ve not got the sunshine. We could all, for various reasons, do with a chuckle.
So without further ado, readers, enjoy the “clueless metropolitan hacksplaining” hit of the summer: Kezia Dugdale, Comeback Queen.
She’d insisted explicitly several times that a Jeremy Corbyn administration WOULD block a new indyref, even after being shown a video clip of Corbyn from earlier in the day saying he wouldn’t, and she repeatedly urged readers not to listen to the party’s leader and to instead go and look at the Labour manifesto.
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “You just don’t get the genocides these days like you used to. Although I guess that once WW3 really kicks…” Oct 30, 20:52
100%Yes on Vibecoding A Better World: “Can’t wait, its has to have genocide and all the nasty bits or no one will believe it. Nobody does…” Oct 30, 20:24
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “I would imagine asking AI to indentify the alphabetties would be a dawdle. Although I do sometimes think I must…” Oct 30, 20:10
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “@Minceheid The behaviour you seek is available in the latest AI-enabled, fully embodied “companions”. I hear that you can programme…” Oct 30, 20:05
Black Joan on Vibecoding A Better World: “See also the disgraceful Post Office scandal. All the innocent Postmasters were obviously thieves and villains because the computerised system…” Oct 30, 20:02
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “After the break. A video confirming that England was annexed by France. Tune in next week for a video confirming…” Oct 30, 19:56
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “Scots believe that bad things come in dozens.” Oct 30, 19:50
sarah on Vibecoding A Better World: “Sickening, isn’t it? Court of Session letting Scottish executive off the hook.” Oct 30, 18:52
Stuart MacKay on Vibecoding A Better World: “The one thing AI agents are insanely good at is rummaging through piles of information. Someone with time on their…” Oct 30, 18:08
robertkknight on Vibecoding A Better World: “The establishment protects its own… https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c95yne2ye0p6o” Oct 30, 17:32
TURABDIN on Vibecoding A Better World: “SOME believe that bad things come in threes. Scotland has had two really bad things that personal union under James…” Oct 30, 12:40
100%Yes on Vibecoding A Better World: “A video below confirming that before and after 1707 the French had documented that Scotland had been annexed by England…” Oct 30, 10:43
TURABDIN on Vibecoding A Better World: “«I have never voted in my life… I have always known and understood that the idiots are in a majority…” Oct 30, 09:44
Minceheid on Vibecoding A Better World: “WhoRattledYourCage says: 29 October, 2026 at 10:11 pm Wait, I mean Monty Mole Ach, I’m more of a Chuckie Egg…” Oct 30, 09:20
Minceheid on Vibecoding A Better World: “You know, I don’t like the fact that all AI thingies seem to be so tediously and cloyingly polite. I…” Oct 30, 08:29
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “Stephen Glover writing in the Mail Online this morning: “vanity, tribal loyalties and blind devotion to party stand in the…” Oct 30, 08:06
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: ““smart SNP computers identifying as…” According to Fanon, Memmi, et al, the smart SNP computers will identify as colonialist elites.…” Oct 30, 07:22
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “You obviously have an internet connected device. Fire up your usual search engine (it’s Google on mine) and type into…” Oct 30, 07:09
WhoRattledYourCage on Vibecoding A Better World: “Wait, I mean Monty Mole, sorry. It’s the alliteration and very similar name that confused me. You couldn’t finish the…” Oct 29, 22:11
MrD on Vibecoding A Better World: “Got a link to where I can learn how to Claude please Stu? Wouldn’t know where to begin.” Oct 29, 22:05
Peter McAvoy on Vibecoding A Better World: “As stated on the BBC Scotland news website today it was announced that Gentex in Stranrear is to close and…” Oct 29, 20:12
Southernbystander on Vibecoding A Better World: “As someone who does creative work (music, video) I am not into generative AI for all the usual, obvious reasons…” Oct 29, 19:15
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “They’re clarty cants in Salisbury. The usual cocktail of germ-laden piss, snot and fecal matter covering their doorknobs, handbags, etc…” Oct 29, 18:10
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: ““I took early retirement from HMRC in 2005” That being the case, sarah, you may be in a position to…” Oct 29, 18:03
Williams on Vibecoding A Better World: “Can you please figure out how to port newish games to MACOS, pretty please? I can only get to the…” Oct 29, 14:30
Iain D on Vibecoding A Better World: “It constantly amazes me that despite the warnings and recent events relating to how AI is very much NOT aligned…” Oct 29, 13:59
sarah on Vibecoding A Better World: “It was starting to go wrong just before I took early retirement from HMRC in 2005. It was, I believe,…” Oct 29, 12:36
diabloandco on Vibecoding A Better World: “Can you no use babywipes for cleaning up Novichok ? I seem to remeber that’s what the folk of Salisbury…” Oct 29, 12:32
James Che on Vibecoding A Better World: “Sarah, I too am extremely appreciative that I had held on to old fashioned paper work and resisted going full…” Oct 29, 11:10
Minceheid on Vibecoding A Better World: “Are you sure you’re not thinking of Jet Set Willy? That game had a generous helping of bugs which made…” Oct 29, 11:07