We’ll be honest with you here, readers – even though it’s only July, when it comes to sheer ham-fisted, tin-eared, clown-shoed, foot-shooting idiocy we didn’t think anything in Scottish politics in 2017 could possibly top the SNP’s decision that the surefire way to win back voters after a poor election result was literally mutilating puppies.
After all, that’s the sort of thing you say as a self-evidently ludicrous and hyperbolic joke: “Ha ha, the SNP are so dominant in Scotland these days that the only way they could lose an election would be if Nicola Sturgeon went on telly and started hacking the tails off week-old puppy-dogs without anaesthetic! LOL!!!!!”
It couldn’t even be defended as a grotesque but cynically cunning attempt to win votes from the rural hunting-and-fishing lobby – they did it right AFTER the election, when all those people had just gone out and voted Tory anyway.
But bless their hearts, Scottish Labour never once saw a low bar that they didn’t try to slither under, and today they pulled off the seemingly impossible.
We’re still on holiday, because five years of stuff like this ruins your soul:
Let’s look at the logic of that closely for just one minute, and then we’re going to go back to smashing our head off a brick wall to try to make the stupid go away.
Brexit is already a shambles. Everyone south of Manchester is unhappy because it’s too suffocatingly hot to move, and everyone north of Manchester is unhappy because they’ve not got the sunshine. We could all, for various reasons, do with a chuckle.
So without further ado, readers, enjoy the “clueless metropolitan hacksplaining” hit of the summer: Kezia Dugdale, Comeback Queen.
She’d insisted explicitly several times that a Jeremy Corbyn administration WOULD block a new indyref, even after being shown a video clip of Corbyn from earlier in the day saying he wouldn’t, and she repeatedly urged readers not to listen to the party’s leader and to instead go and look at the Labour manifesto.
The Labour general election manifesto is officially launched today, as if it mattered. It will reportedly say that the party will block a second independence referendum if it’s in power at Westminster, which of course it won’t be.
And while Labour’s position on anything – particularly anything involving Scotland – is a complete irrelevance, it’s still quite fun to listen to them tying themselves in knots.
So with no further ado, ladies and gentlemen, we bring you Duncan Hothersall.
To be honest we didn’t pay it a lot of heed, assuming that “Scottish fishing industry leaders” just meant Bertie Armstrong again – a longstanding ultra-staunch Unionist and Leave supporter with a track record as a reliable anti-independence rentaquote – and nothing in the coverage led us to believe otherwise.
But then we saw a picture:
Mr Armstrong is the white-haired and bearded chap standing immediately to the right of Davidson in the photo, with his hand on the top corner of her pledge. But who’s the fellow immediately to the left of her?
When our dear old pal the Scottish Labour super-goon Duncan Hothersall tweeted this earlier today, we just couldn’t resist a wee fact-check. We love to see people take the moral high ground, but numbers are fluid these days and you can’t be too careful.
Young Lochinvar on Before Action: “Happy anniversary today of the 1542 battle of Haddon Rig, where the superior invading English forces of Bowes were annihilated…” Aug 24, 00:00
Caledonia on Before Action: “If as a lot of people think the police or crown office/judges is corrupt or biased or incompetent how can…” Aug 23, 23:17
Hatey McHateface on Before Action: ““I knew you would reply” I honestly didn’t know you would make that claim. “Clearly you missed that” Perhaps I…” Aug 23, 22:49
Hatey McHateface on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: ““expanding a department to include more varied voices, even if their credentials are lesser, at least to start with, is…” Aug 23, 22:35
WhorattledYourCage on Before Action: “I knew you would reply. Thank you for your kind, meaningless dismissal of what I wrote, with the confusion-inducing invitation…” Aug 23, 22:16
Mark Beggan on Before Action: “Copy Paste! Cambridge standard. You won’t be saying that when I get my scholarship.” Aug 23, 21:21
Southernbystander on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “Hatey, what interests me is what an EDI hire actually consists of. We know that positive discrimination as an official…” Aug 23, 21:07
Mark Beggan on Before Action: “Emojis were something your little sister put in her scrapbook.” Aug 23, 21:04
Willie on Before Action: “Those in the police and copfs who conspire to make false witness, or to cove up and conceal a crime…” Aug 23, 21:02
Mark Beggan on Before Action: “Generation X mate we used to just spray it on the walls.” Aug 23, 21:01
Hatey McHateface on Before Action: “An interesting boy, Cesaire. As that intercontinental hybrid, the Afro-Caribbean, he ended up a big political cheese in Martinique. All…” Aug 23, 20:36
Hatey McHateface on Before Action: “Coming up 3 years now in October, there’s been a concerted effort by the omnicause left to redefine the meaning…” Aug 23, 20:15
Mark Beggan on Before Action: “I don’t think that was Crankys idea. A bit to complex for her. The Marxists were responsible, The Better People…” Aug 23, 20:05
Alf Baird on Before Action: ““any civilised person” Perhaps we should not confuse civilization and colonialism. There are no human values in colonialism whose objective…” Aug 23, 20:01
Spartan 117 on Before Action: “All correct. I wouldn’t hold my breath for the Uniparty as they’re equally complicit in keeping the smelly dealings here…” Aug 23, 18:49
Spartan 117 on Before Action: “The correct answer from any civilised person is of course “any racism is bad”, regardless of its direction, intention or…” Aug 23, 18:42
Aidan on Before Action: “You feel you’re being subjected to a genocide do you Alf?” Aug 23, 18:36
gm on Before Action: “Cheers Andy. Yes, the appointment of the current Information Commissioner was against the tide. His office has my confidence now.…” Aug 23, 18:27
Alf Baird on Before Action: “Typical of colonialists to ignore the far more destructive even genocidal ‘aggressive racism’ of imperialism and focus only on the…” Aug 23, 18:19
twathater on Before Action: “The compiled segment of the youtube interviews “ME TO YOU” clearly shows the mendacity of both participants, the copper is…” Aug 23, 18:06
Young Lochinvar on Before Action: “HMcH Yer just being silly now..” Aug 23, 18:05
Spartan 117 on Before Action: “So, Racism is acceptable if it’s by the colonized. Do you agree with this, Alf?” Aug 23, 17:43
Hatey McHateface on Before Action: “With the help of a goddess – how primitive to believe in supernatural intervention! 🙂 In our more enlightened and…” Aug 23, 15:12
Andy Wiltshire on Before Action: “Express: https://www.scottishdailyexpress.co.uk/news/politics/decision-not-charge-nicola-sturgeon-37583072 National Scot has it too – David Hamilton is saying the decision to to charge NS ‘merits scrutiny’,…” Aug 23, 15:12
Hatey McHateface on Before Action: “Good racism and bad racism, is it Alf? The kind you were posting about recently, originating in TA. Is that…” Aug 23, 15:00
Hatey McHateface on Before Action: “Scotland’s Mammie wanted us to have Baby Boxes. Dependence on the state starting from our first breath. But that was…” Aug 23, 14:52
Hatey McHateface on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “Nobody manages to push the idea that Indy will never, ever work quite like Confused. If/when Indy comes, its success…” Aug 23, 14:40
Alf Baird on Before Action: ““It’s the “right” form of racism, you see.” We discussed the racism of the colonizer and its effects, which Fanon…” Aug 23, 14:31
Mark Beggan on Before Action: “@Northy Thanks for expanding on that. Of course I got it from social media! Do you think I hang around…” Aug 23, 14:20
gm on Before Action: “I’m searching, Andy for information commissioner, David Hamilton, etc and can’t find anything more recent than a month or two…” Aug 23, 13:46
