It’s the holidays, so the papers are desperate to fill space and the political parties are all trying to help out by sending them helpful press releases which can be slotted directly onto pages, titled “PARTY X CONTINUES TO SUPPORT POLICY Z WHICH IT HAS ALWAYS SUPPORTED. ALSO, THE OTHER PARTIES ARE BAD”.
Scottish Labour’s contribution is a piece in most papers today reiterating their demand for the Scottish Government to hike the top rate of income tax – a policy on which Labour stood at the last Westminster and Holyrood elections and which was quite stupendously comprehensively rejected by voters, but which Labour inexplicably feel the SNP should implement anyway.
And that’s all very well and good, because Kezia Dugdale gets paid the best part of £80,000 a year by taxpayers and she’s got to say something all day to justify it. The trouble, as we’ve noted at great length on this site, is that so many of the things she says aren’t actually true.
Conservative list MSP Murdo Fraser is Scottish politics’ undisputed king of rejects. He’s had a 16-year career in the Scottish Parliament without once winning any sort of election, trousering close to a million pounds of taxpayers’ money in the process, and there’s pretty much nothing anyone can do to get him out of it.
First of all he was firmly rejected by the electorate of East Lothian in 1997, picking up under 20% of the vote. Then when the Scottish Parliament came into being in 1999 he tried his luck at winning its North Tayside seat and was rejected again. He had a go at the Westminster version of the seat in 2001, and was rejected there too.
He hadn’t managed to come in the top three of the Tory regional list either, but when one of the list MSPs who HAD been elected resigned later that year after a bout of pneumonia, Fraser got to walk into his vacant seat unopposed, elected by no-one.
He tried to win North Tayside again in 2003 and 2007, and was rejected both times. (In the four attempts he made at the seat, his vote share decreased every time. The more people saw of him serving as an MSP, the less they liked him.)
By 2011 North Tayside had been abolished and replaced by Perthshire North, which Fraser contested in that year and in 2016, but was rejected twice more. In between he stood for leader of the Scottish Conservatives, but was rejected by Tory members.
After eight humiliating failures out of eight, though, today Murdo finally won one.
A terrible article in today’s Observer nevertheless helpfully provides the most utterly categorical refutation yet of the endlessly-repeated Unionist lie that Spain would veto an independent Scotland’s membership of the EU.
The piece ran under the blatantly untrue headline “Spain drops plan to impose veto if Scotland tries to join EU” – it has NEVER had such a plan – and went on to propagate a whole series of further falsehoods asserted without any basis by reporter Jennifer Rankin, but such a spectaculary direct and unambiguous quote bangs yet another nail into a coffin that only the very stupidest of the nation’s pundits are still trying to insist contains a living occupant.
And yesterday, as Theresa May formally began the process that will tear Scotland out of the EU without its permission, those opposition MSPs queued up to demonstrate their pettiness, ignorance and stupidity.
There’s a new hot buzz-phrase in the Yoonstream: “GERS deniers”.
It’s actually been around for quite a few months – coincidentally since this site started exposing the true nature of the figures – but has become a constant mantra recently, in particular since the intervention of an actual proper expert who doesn’t sell cat litter for a living, Professor Richard Murphy.
Ever since he set tongues and tails wagging by writing a series of hard-hitting articles for his widely-renowned Tax Research UK blog last week, rubbishing the quality of the data, Unionists have been in an increasingly shrill flap about it.
Judging by the first 24 hours, we’re in for a two-year festival of utter horror from the UK and Scottish media. Yesterday saw a never-ending parade of metrosplaining idiots dragged willingly in front of cameras and microphones to pontificate their clueless and mind-numbingly ignorant drivel about Scotland.
It wasn’t possible to keep track of it all, because it was frequently happening on five channels at once, and it was harder still to watch it for any extended period of time without hurling a brick through the screen in frustration at the offensive stupidity of it.
Feeding into that was a stream of Scottish politicians who actually did know better, but who are too catastrophically dim to adapt to changing circumstances and had no strategy other than to endlessly repeat the same cretinous soundbites over and over.
(Adam Tomkins in particular was ubiquitous, spending what felt like several hours on various airwaves reciting the same brainless 10-second schtick forever.)
The constitutional politics of the UK and Scotland are in flux, and many aspects of the situation are complicated. But quite a lot of them aren’t, and if we’re all going to make it through the next two years without stabbing each other in the throat, it’d be a lot better if everyone accepted the things that are definite, empirical, indisputable facts.
…on Good Morning Scotland yesterday, then we suspect you’re going to love the Lib Dems’ heroically glaikit MSP Alex Cole-Hamilton on the same show today.
We don’t want to fall into the trap of portraying the Liberal Democrats as a party of any political relevance or consequence in Scotland, but for the sheer comedy value alone Willie Rennie’s interview with Gary Robertson on today’s Good Morning Scotland is worth a couple of minutes of your time.
Almost a year ago we ran a short piece mocking a Scotsman headline which claimed that “THOUSANDS” of people had signed a Tory anti-referendum petition, when the actual number was a strictly-accurate-but-pathetic TWO thousand.
We didn’t think that could ever be beaten for technically-true hyperbolic exaggeration, but we’d reckoned without the bold boundary-pushing ingenuity of the Daily Express.
Hundreds of thousands? How many hundreds, exactly?
agentx on The Deaf Eyes: “AI overview: You can take action against a decision made by the Procurator Fiscal If You Are the Victim (A…” Aug 2, 13:05
Sian Laidlaw on The Deaf Eyes: “It looks to me as though that reply has some copy, cut and paste text in it. Maybe the input…” Aug 2, 12:59
Cuphook on The Deaf Eyes: “In The Twelve Tasks of Asterix the Roman bureaucrats who hinder the attempt to get form A38 are eventually foiled…” Aug 2, 12:58
factchecker on The Deaf Eyes: “Stunning lack of understanding. Or more probably deliberate misunderstanding. And nothing to tell us “Veronica”s status within the “National Enquiry…” Aug 2, 12:53
agentx on The Deaf Eyes: ““Firstly, let’s take a moment to note the weird font change halfway through that central paragraph, as though someone else…” Aug 2, 12:49
Chas on The Deaf Eyes: “Sadly, you are banging your head against a brick wall Stu. There is no mechanism available to force the Crown…” Aug 2, 12:37
sarah on The Deaf Eyes: “Rev, I suggest that your reply keeps it simple – just ask the embezzlement question. Then they can’t possibly get…” Aug 2, 12:21
GeoffC on The Deaf Eyes: “Interesting that Veronica doesn’t share her surname in an official document.” Aug 2, 12:16
TURABDIN on The Nobodies: “SHAFTED…..yet again. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c8xnq7qyr7ro Commonwealth Games…..the one nobody gives a ……..about. Oh dear Mr Swinney! pecking at the crumbs from your…” Aug 2, 11:54
Aidan on The Nobodies: “Oh you object do you James? Well everyone better stop what they are doing immediately then so we can sort…” Aug 2, 11:33
Alf Baird on The Nobodies: “” it’s par for the course” Yes indeed, colonialism only works ‘by de-basing the colonized’ (Memmi), us Scots in this…” Aug 2, 10:46
TURABDIN on The Nobodies: “@Hatey McHateface In effect there is no such entity as «Islamic science» any more than there is a «Christian science».…” Aug 2, 10:33
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on The Nobodies: ““It’s now the propaganda arm of the woke elite’ | BBC insider Robin Aitken on what went wrong” | The…” Aug 2, 10:33
Captain Caveman on The Nobodies: “Hilarious, Fatso: “A vacuum; an empty vessel wrapped in unearned confidence, operating under the tragic delusion that its opinion holds…” Aug 2, 10:25
Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: “Wow, Wally W! Ah didnae ken ye could get yer mammie tae write insults fer ye. Ye should hae proof…” Aug 2, 08:37
Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: “Bombing schools, then, YL. Let’s talk about that. I fail to see that anybody has a monopoly. It looks to…” Aug 2, 08:22
Young Lochinvar on The Nobodies: “HMcH Have been very busy today so apologies this is posted after midnight when matron turns your Wi-Fi and lights…” Aug 2, 01:58
Young Lochinvar on The Nobodies: “Yup James Pretty well sums it up. Yet they bleat that the Rev should ban the likes of you and…” Aug 2, 01:30
James on The Nobodies: “Are the Yoons masochists? Do they post here all day, every day because they seek derision? Or is it the…” Aug 1, 23:28
Insider on The Nobodies: “Fatso @ 10:59 Be quiet,child! You are just an embarrassment to yourself and the whole Indy movement!” Aug 1, 23:16
James on The Nobodies: “Aw, don’t take on so, Adrian, petal. Rest assured; it’s only walloper Tory unionist wankers like you, posting all day,…” Aug 1, 22:59
Andy Wiltshire on The Nobodies: “There is a hierarchy of rights nowadays, and children don’t figure in it at all.” Aug 1, 21:51
Aidan on The Nobodies: “Wow you called ‘Reform’ ‘Deform’! That’s so funny and clever, have you got a slot at the fringe?” Aug 1, 20:47
Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: “Many of us here are “prejudiced” over what we see as medieval and barbaric practices. Beheading, for example, we Scots…” Aug 1, 20:17
sarah on The Nobodies: “Same here, Ronnie. At least I have a couple of his Hamish mugs to cheer me up!” Aug 1, 20:01
diabloandco on The Nobodies: “Fearghas, I remember watching and becoming so enraged by man’s disgusting inhumanity with no redeeming features.” Aug 1, 19:02
TURABDIN on The Nobodies: “Assuming your musings on Islamic and its culture are not intended as irony, they then present as the quintessence of…” Aug 1, 16:46
twathater on The Nobodies: “It’s funny James you would think they would be too busy pushing deform’s vote winning messaging , too busy laying…” Aug 1, 15:46
Aidan on The Nobodies: “If you aren’t happy with the company here James, you could always start your own website. Perhaps obnoxious fat stinking…” Aug 1, 14:41
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on The Nobodies: “Another sad snatch of “Colonial Victimhood”: BLACK ‘47 (Trailer) www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pSGZt-mhSY” Aug 1, 13:25