Wings Over Scotland

One of the most memorable lectures I had as an undergraduate student at university was on Eugene Ionesco’s play “Rhinoceros”, a defining work of the Theatre Of The Absurd genre. It is both a timeless and timely text, on a par with 1984 or The Crucible.

During the opening scene, the everyman protagonist Berenger sits having coffee with a friend. Midway through their conversation, a rhino charges past the café. Berenger is startled and concerned but his friend seems unperturbed, in denial that they even saw a rhinoceros.

Throughout the rest of the play, Berenger watches in incredulity and terror as, one by one, every person around him, colleagues and friends, transform into rhinoceroses, the cause seemingly being part-infection, part-capitulation.

In the final scene, he stands at his window looking out over the carnage, and in a moment of desperation, tries to force himself to transform into a rhinoceros. Despite his efforts, he is unable to and upon regaining his senses, vows in a hopeless frenzy that he will never capitulate.

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This is a quite extraordinary thing for a grown adult to say.

When a reader quoted it in a comment earlier today we were reluctant to believe it. Googling the words produced only a broken Facebook link and a Scottish Daily Express story (and the Wings reader’s comment), which obviously did little to disperse the scepticism.

Facebook is essentially unsearchable (which in itself is a pretty good reason not to trust anyone who does the majority of their work on it), and even when we went to the Believe In Scotland page and scrolled down and down and down and down for an eternity, it was impossible to find.

But eventually we had a brainwave and searched the site’s pictures for the one used in the Express and found the post. He really said it. And it needs some examination.

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To its eternal disgrace, the University Of Edinburgh is trying to prevent this excellent film from being shown in Scotland, as part of a systematic campaign of suppression and censorship that starts from the highest offices of the Scottish Government and works its way down through academia, the arts and the civic sector.

It deserves to be seen and supported.

Blue-haired brain vacuum Kirsty Blackman in Westminster yesterday, during the SNP’s big showpiece “let’s pretend we’re doing something about independence” debate.

So presumably she’s made it a priority since being elected seven years ago, right?

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Kezia Dugdale, the hapless leader who took Scottish Labour to 14% in the polls, is one of the most extravagantly-paid people in Scotland who has no discernible talent or significance to public life whatsoever.

As well as being the Director of the John Smith Policy Centre (a job with no known responsibilities but which nevertheless pays around the same as being an MSP making laws in the Scottish Parliament) she writes regular columns in The Times and The Courier and is now, hilariously, the new Professor of Practice in Public Service in Glasgow University.

(A post with unspecified duties and unknown salary and which was also not, as far as anyone can tell, ever publicly advertised.)

We were bored so we thought we’d find out, via Panelbase, if her latest lucrative role was perhaps the result of a noticeably impressive performance in the first one.

Ah. Not so much.

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Honestly, readers, swear to God, all joking and sarcasm aside, when we saw this tweet yesterday we were wondering how on Earth some clever satirist had managed to hack Anas Sarwar’s account to insert the screenshot into it.

Because we didn’t believe that even Scottish Labour’s low-watt-bulb of a branch manager would willingly post something that made him look so much of an imbecile.

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At least try to keep your story straight, lads.

(Properly oldschool batshit-mad Telegraph article here, by this guy. Trailer here.)

News update: Alexandria Adamson has been suspended from the SNP and his Twitter account is gone after our article on Tuesday. But in case anyone thought sanity had broken out in the party, this person, and many more like him, are still on its payroll.

And you really should be worried about that.

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I am greatly honoured to have been targeted for censorship in the same weekend as two great artists as rightly esteemed as Salman Rushdie and Jerry Sadowitz. (Though thankful to have not yet been violently physically attacked for my views, as both have.)

To be honest, I was amazed my most recent Twitter account lasted three months. I set it up in May for the sole purpose of a throwaway rude reply to Darren “Loki” McGarvey and Kenny Farquharson of The Times, expecting it to be banned within hours, then somehow it had thousands of followers and I figured I might as well have a bit of fun with it for however long it lasted against the barrage of shrieking outrage and mass organised complaints from the SNP Twitler Youth.

Which turned out to be until Saturday night.

Twitter has declined to identify who I supposedly incited the harassment of, or to offer any examples of the offending tweets. Obviously I did no such thing, but it’s good to know that “in order to ensure that people feel safe expressing diverse opinions and beliefs on our platform”, only some opinions and beliefs may be expressed.

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First of all, congratulations to the Herald for only being eight days behind a retired website on this story. Unusually fast work, lads.

Now let’s deal with the spin.

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One might almost imagine that once every Parliament, a drawing of lots is conducted at The Times’ offices in Scotland and the loser is obliged to write this column, on pain of a ceremonial debagging and a jolly good paddling with an old cricket bat from all the other chaps in the newsroom.

Perhaps the fear is playing tricks with Alex Massie’s memory.

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We were sent something disturbing recently. It’s from a training course civil servants are being sent on by the Scottish Government.

As you can see, one of the sites that staff are directed to is something called The Trans Language Primer. We thought you should see some of its content.

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