Billions of years from now, when the Sun finally dies and expands to swallow and burn up the Earth in a final cataclysmic explosion, the very last thing to turn to dust and atoms will be Scottish Labour’s brass neck.
Coming from The Eternal Abstainers themselves that’s already quite a breathtakingly hypocritical claim, but if you look at last night’s results closely it gets a lot worse.
Wings Over Scotland isn’t the only website dedicated to scrutinising the truthfulness of things claimed by politicians and media pundits. There’s the widely-respected and diligent FullFact.org, there’s Scotland’s own The Ferret, and there’s the BBC’s Reality Check (which frequently takes the more unconventional approach of, er, not making a finding either way about what the reality of things is).
And then there’s Channel 4’s FactCheck, which we’re going to generously assume had a liquid lunch yesterday and was a little under the weather.
Because not only is the conclusion that it reached on the subject of an independent Scotland having to use the Euro utter nonsense that’s been debunked roughly 1000 times in the last six years, it doesn’t even agree with itself.
Michael Glackin of the Sunday Times is the only serious contender to the Scotsman’s demented Brian Wilson as the most poisonously, blindly instinctive hater of anything even passingly connected to the SNP or independence in the Scottish media. His weekly bilious rants in the paper make even Scottish Daily Express hacks wince and say “Blimey, that’s a bit strong”.
But even by those standards, this week’s column is quite something. So let’s take a little look at just how much of an idiot you can make of yourself if you never allow facts to get in the way of your rage.
Watching the Six Nations rugby tournament every year is usually quite a dispiriting experience – not just because of Scotland’s invariably underwhelming performances (broken up by the occasional false dawn), but because talking about it on social media always results in an extremely tedious flood of comments about how rugby is a sport played and watched exclusively by middle-class Tory No voters.
(That’s Scotland skipper Greig Laidlaw there, with Wings mascot Hamish.)
Speaking as someone whose interest in the tournament (in the pre-inflation days when it was the Five Nations) was first sparked when my extremely working-class Bathgate comprehensive school started taking pupils to Murrayfield in the 1980s – 50p for the bus and 50p for the match ticket, which got you a seat on wooden benches actually on the grass – this attitude has always instinctively felt like complete nonsense.
So when we did our latest Panelbase poll during this year’s competition, we figured we may as well actually find out.
Self-propelling brain vacancy Alex Cole-Hamilton might have just recorded the shortest ever reign at the top of our Thickest Politician In Scotland rankings, but you can’t keep a proper idiot down for long.
It probably goes without saying that none of the above is even a little bit true.
Unionists have been in a purple frenzy of rage in the last couple of weeks that the First Minister has dared to leave the country not once but twice in order to try to improve relations and trade links with Scotland’s business partners. Lib Dem MSP Alex Cole-Hamilton – a man who still thinks the Queensferry Crossing isn’t finished a year and a half after traffic started using it – tried a different tack.
And that’s a zinger of a point unless oh dear what’s this?
We had an interesting exchange with Scottish Labour MP Paul Sweeney this week on the deathless lie that is the “fiscal transfer” – the £10bn or so that Unionists rather startlingly insist the rest of the UK generously donates to Scotland every year out of the goodness of its heart, just for the pleasure of our company.
As you can see, the debate was of a high intellectual standard.
Alert readers will recall that earlier today we conducted one of our regular context checks for statistics misleadingly-incompletely reported in the Scottish press. But while those are like shooting fish in a barrel, there’s one thing that’s an even more reliable open goal for the website editor looking for content in a slow news week.
Ladies and gentlemen, once again we give you… Scottish Labour.
There’s absolutely nothing that happens in Scotland that Scottish Labour are happy with. Day in and day out they can be found putting the bleakest possible spin on any statistic for a dwindling audience of diehard supporters and Scottish journalists.
Something bad happened? SCOTLAND IS TERRIBLE AND IT’S ALL THE SNP’S FAULT. Something good happened? IT WASN’T GOOD ENOUGH AND IT’S ALL THE SNP’S FAULT. And the solution is always the same: let Labour run things.
Earlier on today we reported on a case of a Scottish Labour MP being inadvertently unacquainted with some quite pertinent facts regarding a public pronouncement they’d made. While we’d assumed this to be an isolated incident, it’s in fact our sad duty to report another example within the Northern Branch Office.
That’s the pro-Brexit former Labour minister Tom Harris, there, making just the sort of statement that this site like to fact-check. So let’s see the most recent data.
Geri on Push The Button: ““it is not mandatory for you to read my posts or comment on them.” I wasn’t the one crying. You…” Apr 28, 21:11
Chas on Push The Button: “Geri It seems that you think of yourself as the site moderator! It is not mandatory for you to read…” Apr 28, 20:49
Aidan on Push The Button: “@Cheyne – your repetitive posts do not have value because they don’t make sense to anyone, either pro-independence or unionist.…” Apr 28, 19:31
Geri on Push The Button: “Why don’t you? No one has forced you to come here, ya eejit. & No one is forcing you to…” Apr 28, 18:27
Geri on Push The Button: “They are held back by fear. That’s why they’re an embarrassment to democracy. They’d rather just not have one at…” Apr 28, 18:22
Chas on Push The Button: “How many people do you turn off this site and the thought of Independence with your repeated deranged ramblings. Go…” Apr 28, 18:03
Aidan on Push The Button: “Any facts or information are “news” to you Geri because you’ve allowed your mind to be poisoned by dubious YouTube…” Apr 28, 17:44
Aidan on Push The Button: “What’s in it for a unionist to hold a referendum? The best case scenario for the unionist out of that…” Apr 28, 17:35
Jamie on Push The Button: “If they were not terrified, they would have a referendum. Wendy Alexander was not terrified, in fact, she said bring…” Apr 28, 17:11
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Push The Button: “LEGAL CHALLENGE TO HATE CRIME RECORDING RULES GIVEN GO-AHEAD A free speech campaigner has been granted permission to challenge Home…” Apr 28, 16:46
Geri on Push The Button: “Look at the point just fly on over yer head LOL Is Reform leading in Scotland, Wales & NI? That’s…” Apr 28, 16:46
diabloandco on Push The Button: “Thanks Cynicus – like all three renditions but Paul Robson was the one I remember from my youth and my…” Apr 28, 15:42
Aidan on Push The Button: “It’s funny because I don’t remember supporting Reform at any point. However, if I did support Reform I might be…” Apr 28, 14:40
Geri on Push The Button: “Cave dweller “Also, using China as an example for the success of Socialism, as opposed to free market economics….. priceless.”…” Apr 28, 14:05
James Che on Push The Button: “Scotland does not need to appeal, beg or fight for what has already taken place hundreds of years past. Recorded…” Apr 28, 13:44
Geri on Push The Button: “You are shitting yourself, AI Dan. What else brings you here? No one here is interested in Reform. In fact,…” Apr 28, 13:27
Captain Caveman on Push The Button: “I find myself in agreement with you Northcode! If I were an AI, the “logical” action would be to press…” Apr 28, 13:20
Athanasius on Push The Button: “Here’s the problem, though. When I initially read the question, my immediate reaction was to go blue. It was only…” Apr 28, 13:12
James Che on Push The Button: “Here is the evidence for independent thinkers that my repetitive posts hold merit for Scotland and its people, The unionist…” Apr 28, 12:52
Northcode on Push The Button: “Yeah, that’s right… I posted my last comment twice on purpose coz it was sooo good! If you don’t like…” Apr 28, 12:44
Northcode on Push The Button: “Only a very few folk know that the song, “Ol Man River” – music composed by Jerome Kern and lyrics…” Apr 28, 12:28
Northcode on Push The Button: “Only a very few folk know that the song, “Ol Man River” – music composed by Jerome Kern and lyrics…” Apr 28, 12:28
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Push The Button: “Thanks for that link, Cynicus. Brilliantly resonant poetry brilliantly sung. Ol’ Man River had been notionally on my mind for…” Apr 28, 12:11
Northcode on Push The Button: “In the blue button red button dilemma the correct choice depends on whether one loves humankind, as God does, or…” Apr 28, 11:57
Aidan on Push The Button: “I admire your optimism but nobody, anywhere thinks that a referendum is happening at any point soon. I don’t see…” Apr 28, 11:42
Cynicus on Push The Button: “Seconded! Fearghas’ clip also contains a rendition by Welsh bass baritone, Bryn Terfel, renowned in the opera world for the…” Apr 28, 11:13
Jamie on Push The Button: “This just goes to show you. Despite the snp being a bin fire. The unionists have that rubbish an argument…” Apr 28, 10:49
Minceheid on Push The Button: “TimePilot says: 28 April, 2026 at 10:11 am BY IGNORING THE SPECIFICS OF THE SCENARIO THEY HAVE NARCISSISTICALLY MADE THIS…” Apr 28, 10:41
TimePilot on Push The Button: “In the scenario: 1. THERE IS NO FIRE 2. THERE ARE NO RELATIVES/INNOCENTS ABOUT TO DIE WHO ARE UNABLE TO…” Apr 28, 10:11
Geri on Push The Button: “You aren’t Scottish, Shiteface. Stop pretending that you are, it’s embarrassing. No self respecting person disses their own country in…” Apr 28, 10:00