We’ve had no takers from any Nicola Sturgeon loyalists for this yet, so let’s narrow our focus a bit and see if we can get some joy from the payroll vote.
The quote pictured below is an absolutely unequivocal statement, with no qualifiers or conditions, made during and with full knowledge of a major peak in the COVID-19 pandemic. The halfway point of the current Scottish Parliament is 9 November 2023.
So: I bet Pete Wishart £5,000 that he’s a liar.
I have the money, and on the £100K-a-year-plus-expenses wage he’s been stealing for most of the last 20 years (and let’s not forget the juicy £50,000-a-year Westminster pension he’s built up over two decades of totally failing to deliver the only thing he’s ever been elected to do), we damn sure know that HE has the money.
My bet is simply that there will NOT be a second indyref on or before that date.
Please, everyone reading this with a Twitter account, tweet this to Pete Wishart until he takes five seconds off from attacking real independence campaigners and gives us all his answer, and let’s see if he’s prepared to put a tiny little fraction of his money where his endlessly bloviating mouth is.
When the Rolling Stones drummer Charlie Watts died last month, the first of their songs that popped into my head, for no particular reason, was “Under My Thumb”, a mildly controversial 1966 album track the band never released as a single in the West.
Its most infamous place in history, though, is this.
Until Watts’ death I was only very broadly aware of the events at Altamont Speedway in 1969, a free festival at a racetrack near San Francisco at which four people died in scenes of malevolent chaos and which is widely regarded as the grim headstone of the hippy era.
But on seeing the extraordinary footage above for the first time on the day of Watts’ death – taken from “Gimme Shelter”, notionally the official movie of the show, although the first two-thirds of it are actually a mundane travelogue of the preceding tour dates – I did some proper reading up on it.
And as I did, a horribly familiar feeling started to unfold.
For many years now, whenever I’ve done one of those “Which Political Party Should You Be In?” online quiz things, it always says that I’m a Green, which is weird because I really hate cyclists. Nevertheless, it was still the result when I did one most recently, just last month.
So I decided that for the first time in my life it was finally time to join a political party.
Her Majesty’s Prisoner No. 157095, or Craig Murray as we still prefer to call him, is a fascinating piece of living evidence of the Kafkaesque country Scotland has become under the despotic rule of Nicola Sturgeon.
Craig has a number of serious medical conditions, one of which causes him frequent dizziness and fainting spells. To gauge their severity (because obviously it’s hard for Craig to judge, given that he’s dizzy and/or fainting at the time), his doctor gave him a device called a pulse oximeter. Depending on the readings from it after an attack, Craig’s life could be in danger and an ambulance should be called.
But because presumably even the Scottish prison authorities realise that it would look quite bad if a political prisoner like Craig died in jail, they did offer him an alternative.
Craig Murray, a former ambassador to Uzbekistan, the father of a newborn child, a man in very poor health and one who has no prior convictions, handed himself over to the Scottish police last Sunday morning. He becomes the first person ever to be imprisoned on the obscure and vaguely defined charge of “jigsaw identification”.
Murray is also the first person to be jailed in Britain for contempt of court for their journalism in half a century – a period when such different legal and moral values prevailed that the British establishment had only just ended the prosecution of “homosexuals” and the jailing of women for having abortions.
We accidentally de-retired for a week last week because the outrage of Craig Murray’s imprisonment couldn’t be allowed to go unremarked. But we’re shutting back down again now, so here’s a fun challenge to occupy yourselves with in what’s left of what’s passed for the summer.
Because the feat described in that picture isn’t an easy one.
For the avoidance of any doubt, this site does not believe that Scotland’s second most senior judge, Lady Leeona Dorrian, is corrupt.
It does not believe that she is acting at the behest of the Scottish Government or the First Minister, even though Lady Dorrian is known to wish to succeed Lord Carloway as the country’s most senior judge when he steps down in the near future and that position – Lord President of the Court of Session – is in the First Minister’s gift.
What this site does believe is that she’s acting out of bias. Lady Dorrian is known to wish to dispense with juries in sexual-assault trials, and it’s our belief – based on observing her conduct during the trial of Craig Murray and her apparent emotional investment in the case – that that’s because she belongs to the sizeable group of people who fundamentally think that all acquittals in such cases are wrongful, and that in essence any man ever accused of rape or sexual assault is automatically guilty merely by dint of having been accused, on the grounds that no woman would ever lie about such a thing.
(Or more frighteningly, that a small minority of accusers DO lie but the false convictions or ruined lives of a few men are a price worth paying.)
Her actions, though – in jailing Craig Murray for eight months for a crime (so-called “jigsaw identification”) which is hopelessly ill-defined and for which nobody has ever been imprisoned before in all of world history – risk doing more to undermine the rights of women alleging sexual assault than any individual ever has before.
Please note the below press release regarding the impending incarceration of former UK Ambassador Craig Murray
[29/07/2021; 15:52 pm; Edinburgh]
Legal precedent will be set tomorrow as Craig Murray will be the first person to be imprisoned on the charge of jigsaw identification in the UK, and indeed in the entire world. Scotland’s second most senior judge, Lady Dorrian, sentenced Murray to 8 months of incarceration following a contempt of court charge for ‘jigsaw identification’ relating to the trial against Alex Salmond.
Wings has been informed this morning by a reliable source that Police Scotland have now progressed their inquiry into the SNP’s “missing” £600,000 fundraiser money from an “assessment” to a formal criminal investigation into the matter, which was first revealed on this site in January 2020. We understand that an official statement to that effect will be forthcoming shortly.
[EDIT 12.27pm: the statement is below.]
”Police Scotland has now received seven complaints in relation to donations that were made to the Scottish National Party.
“After assessment and consultation with the Crown Office and Procurator Fiscal Service, we will now carry out an investigation.
“Enquiries are continuing and anyone who has any information which may assist with this investigation is asked to contact police.”
We look forward to the eventual outcome and continue our retirement in the meantime. Those still loyal to the party leadership wishing to be reassured that everything is fine and above board and the whole thing is a mad conspiracy theory and a total non-story are directed to Wee Ginger Dug and to the Twitter accounts of Pete Wishart, Mhairi Hunter, Tom Arthur, Stewart McDonald, Tom Gordon and David Leask, as usual.
Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: “You’re right, sam. Must be my time of the month.” Jul 28, 09:06
Captain Caveman on The Nobodies: “The conclusion to be drawn, I think, is just how utterly spent, moribund and bereft the political Left is. As…” Jul 28, 09:06
James Che on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “Covid lockdowns and yet allowing migration access to continue with limited health intervention under Covid Tories management, Labour, the tool…” Jul 28, 08:57
sam on The Nobodies: ““Hatey McHateface says: 27 July, 2026 at 8:03 pm I think any politician who could fix period poverty will find…” Jul 28, 08:42
Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: “A man with the courage of his convictions then. Respect. After all, if the Treaty of Union does not exist,…” Jul 28, 08:19
twathater on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “Unfortunately when governments and politicians IGNORE the wishes and concerns of the electorate and continue to treat voters with contempt…” Jul 28, 02:42
Young Lochinvar on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “AI Dun @ 7.04 And why does that statement seem to sit so very very comfortably with you, site pearl…” Jul 28, 01:26
Graf Midgehunter on The Nobodies: “You will never need an excuse to show a photo of Monica Bellucci..! And anyway, it’ll help cleanse the site…” Jul 28, 00:30
Oneliner on The Nobodies: “I think that his brother adopted the same attitude to VAT” Jul 28, 00:27
Ex President Xiden on The Nobodies: “I remember Sarwar when asked to comment on his hypocrisy of fronting a party advocating the abolishment of private education…” Jul 27, 23:06
Young Lochinvar on The Nobodies: “Well said Dan.” Jul 27, 22:32
willie on The Nobodies: “The X link is to a parody of the US police detective Lieutenant Columbo investigating Nicola Sturgeon. Peppered with real…” Jul 27, 21:47
Spartan 117 on The Nobodies: ““Scottish” Labour are irrelevant and will remain so forever more.” Jul 27, 21:24
100%Yes on The Nobodies: “Its a pity when the Redcoats went to their country’s they didn’t have an option. Lets all turn a blind…” Jul 27, 20:24
Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: “Calm down. It’s just DEI. It won’t personally affect you. Be much more concerned by the DEI appointments in your…” Jul 27, 20:20
Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: “Somebody defo told somebody to piss off.” Jul 27, 20:16
Mark Beggan on The Nobodies: “Monica Bellucci was at my door again last night with a red rose. I told her to piss off.” Jul 27, 20:06
Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: “I think any politician who could fix period poverty will find running the country a dawdle by comparison. Of course,…” Jul 27, 20:03
diabloandco on The Nobodies: “Well put!!” Jul 27, 19:56
Owen Mullions on The Nobodies: “It’s just an AI video of Sturgeon being investigated by Columbo. Quite funny but sadly not happening in the real…” Jul 27, 19:49
Chas on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “My social status is just fine Sam however I can readily understand why yours is on the floor. As to…” Jul 27, 19:31
Aidan on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “Most of that list (primarily elderly academics) will be long-since retired by the time there is any chance of Scotland…” Jul 27, 19:04
100%Yes on The Nobodies: “Willie, I don’t have a X account so whats the breaking news?” Jul 27, 18:41
DaveL on The Nobodies: “Strangely enough I was trying to think of that Labour guy’s name the other day, I was pretty sure it…” Jul 27, 18:29
Effijy on The Nobodies: “I think this is the 19th Change of leadership for London’s North Accounting Office, sometimes referred to as Scotland not…” Jul 27, 18:27
Dan on The Nobodies: “Who really cares about the mainstream “Scottish” political parties pissing about in the poundshop devolved Parliament, they just seem to…” Jul 27, 18:27
Joan Savage on The Nobodies: “Excellent comment” Jul 27, 18:19
Northcode on The Nobodies: ““Number 10 North” is a slogan, not a shift in power. A new office in Manchester doesn’t rebalance the constitution……” Jul 27, 18:10
Craig on The Nobodies: “Great picture, made reading the article much more interesting. ?” Jul 27, 18:10