So it’s now official: in Scotland the words “sex” and “gender” mean the same thing, except when they don’t, and if you give a man a piece of paper because he’s asked for one, with no sort of checks whatsoever, then it literally turns him into a woman, except when it doesn’t, unless it does.
Or put more concisely: the word “sex” in Scotland now has no meaning at all.
Although to be scrupulously fair to General Sir Anthony Cecil Hogmany Melchett, he did at least actually launch an offensive from time to time, rather than just putting out occasional half-arsed discussion papers and press releases about it.
Word reaches us, readers, that Nicola Sturgeon was “furious” when she joined the most recent meeting of the SNP’s Westminster group by Skype. Her rage was driven by the suggestion that the party should trigger a Holyrood election to act as a de facto independence referendum, a policy we’re reliably told is supported by a number of MPs who are too scared of being browbeaten by Sturgeon in front of their colleagues to actually speak out in favour of it.
(We won’t mention their names at this point.)
Our source mentioned to us that they seemed to remember an interview in which the First Minister had revealed a possible reason for her extreme antipathy to the idea – one for the BBC’s extensive and rather good three-part documentary “Yes/No – Inside The Indyref”, which was broadcast in August 2019 and never seen again.
It’s not available on iPlayer or YouTube, but fortunately we happened to still have the show recorded on our Sky+ box, so we went to check, and lo and behold our source’s recollection was correct. Apologies for the slightly wonky quality of this video, as we had to record it off the TV screen.
You can’t move on social media today without tripping over effusive tweets from SNP MPs and MSPs singing the praises of departed Westminster leader Ian Blackford and admiring all his achievements in the position over the last five years, although weirdly nobody has actually listed any of them.
If anyone knows when “this process” will have ended and we’ll get our choice – or indeed what she achieved for Scotland in the Brexit negotiations – do let us know.
It’s more than two years now since we published this article, but it’s worth quickly going over it again, because there’s nothing on Earth more tedious than boneheads on social media going “Oh, you slag off the SNP but what’s YOUR plan if you’re so clever?”, who haven’t bothered to read any of the dozen times we’ve already answered that question since 25 months ago.
This is it. This is our plan. Try listening this time, thickos.
sarah on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “O/T but very relevant to the overall theme of why the SNP hasn’t made any progress in restoring Scotland’s independence…” Jul 24, 21:53
Alf Baird on Ain’t it funny how things change?: ““Sometimes I wonder where Scotland would be if we weren’t “colonised” Probably aroond aboot £150 billion a year better aff,…” Jul 24, 21:29
Hatey McHateface on The Wheels Of Industry: ““No one is talking about expunging people” Oh yes they are. Just about weekly. You ignore it, Northy, because you…” Jul 24, 20:48
Hatey McHateface on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “All very well, sam, but what does Cuthbert know of Fanon, Cesaire, Memmi and the rest? That’s the yardstick by…” Jul 24, 20:38
Hatey McHateface on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “Cheers, James! Although your obsession with my tackle does raise a few red flags. But hey, a child could see…” Jul 24, 20:29
Southernbystander on The Wheels Of Industry: “Just needs a ‘like’ really as I cannot disagree with much. Just one thing, ‘recover’ is a bit of a…” Jul 24, 20:16
sam on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “Jim Cuthbert has a M.A. in mathematics and economics. A M.Sc. in mathematics and statistics and a D Phil in…” Jul 24, 20:01
Hatey McHateface on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “@Onlooker An analysis of Confused’s posts suggests you missed one: Confused’s parent’s home. How else to explain his recurring, extreme…” Jul 24, 19:56
Dan on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “@ factchecker Thanks again for confirming the significant and negative predicaments Scotland endures whilst being in a Union with the…” Jul 24, 19:27
Onlooker on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “Lorncal says: “There has never, to my knowledge been a matriarchy in human history…” Wrong. https://www.ancient-origins.net/history-ancient-traditions/ancient-cultures-matriarchal-society-0011588 https://historified.in/2024/12/24/matriarchy-a-historical-and-cultural-perspective/ https://www.nationalgeographic.com/history/article/angela-saini-patriarchy-matriarchy-gender-equality https://www.maloriesadventures.com/blog/the-forgotten-matriarchal-societies-that-still-exist/” Jul 24, 19:26
Hatey McHateface on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “Thank the Good Lord ScotGov doesn’t have control of North Sea licensing, eh? They’d have shut in the entire place…” Jul 24, 19:22
Hatey McHateface on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “Good post, FC. You’re understanding why, outside of the UK, Scotland is as likely to split apart as it is…” Jul 24, 19:10
Hatey McHateface on Ain’t it funny how things change?: ““tartaned up and kilted bourgeoisie strutting about” Crivens, help m’boab! Some cunning cant maist hae telt them they were aboot…” Jul 24, 19:01
factchecker on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “Nothing inadvertent almost it, Dan – just a statement of the obvious. Please name me a democratic union of formerly…” Jul 24, 18:20
Dan on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “Well aye, guilty as charged Judge Mark, but when one’s talking about the proper sensible governance of an entire country…” Jul 24, 18:17
Mark Beggan on Ain’t it funny how things change?: ““we have to grow our tax revenues…” You have to pay some Tax in the first place. Talking of which,…” Jul 24, 18:17
100%Yes on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “Dan, The funny thing is the Scot hater who where born in Scotland, when abroad call themselves Scottish and when…” Jul 24, 18:04
Mark Beggan on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “For a wee guy you talk really big. You and the rest of the pure Yessers are going to do…” Jul 24, 17:53
Dan on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “^^^ That’s a very lame post, but I guess Mark jist tried to squeeze in as many derogatory digs as…” Jul 24, 16:53
factchecker on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “Fair enough, sam; but you are quoting the opinion of Jim Cuthbert, a single civil servant, albeit a well-informed one,…” Jul 24, 16:40
Lorncal on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “I’m not into male-female rivalry, Mark/H McH. There has never, to my knowledge been a matriarchy in human history because,…” Jul 24, 16:39
Lorncal on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “Proselytise means to aggressively push your religion/ideology/whatever on to others, not to give them a wee lecture and a couple…” Jul 24, 16:21
sam on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “Factchecker says: “Please note: Analysts from the Scottish Parliament Information Centre concluded that the fiscal changes set out in the…” Jul 24, 16:16
factchecker on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “100%Yes says: 24 July, 2026 at 1:36 pm Scotland had a referendum in 2014, I know the Unionist mention it…” Jul 24, 15:24
Mark Beggan on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “Colonial. This word is getting thrown about here as if it has some sort of special powers. Just add “colonized”…” Jul 24, 14:15
100%Yes on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “Scotland had a referendum in 2014, I know the Unionist mention it all the time. The day before the referendum…” Jul 24, 13:36
Northcode on The Wheels Of Industry: “There’s a lot of interesting history in your comment, but I think you might be mixing together several different concepts…” Jul 24, 12:51
Dan on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “Let’s see if this makes it through moderation filter. It states it is just over an hour’s read. https://www.decolonise.scot/scotland-stolen-scotland-restored-non-alignment-and-decolonisation-the-foreign-policy-of-a-nation-liberated-from-the-english-colonial-state-beyond-jim-sillars-discussion-paper-from-colo/” Jul 24, 12:32
