So it’s now official: in Scotland the words “sex” and “gender” mean the same thing, except when they don’t, and if you give a man a piece of paper because he’s asked for one, with no sort of checks whatsoever, then it literally turns him into a woman, except when it doesn’t, unless it does.
Or put more concisely: the word “sex” in Scotland now has no meaning at all.
Although to be scrupulously fair to General Sir Anthony Cecil Hogmany Melchett, he did at least actually launch an offensive from time to time, rather than just putting out occasional half-arsed discussion papers and press releases about it.
Word reaches us, readers, that Nicola Sturgeon was “furious” when she joined the most recent meeting of the SNP’s Westminster group by Skype. Her rage was driven by the suggestion that the party should trigger a Holyrood election to act as a de facto independence referendum, a policy we’re reliably told is supported by a number of MPs who are too scared of being browbeaten by Sturgeon in front of their colleagues to actually speak out in favour of it.
(We won’t mention their names at this point.)
Our source mentioned to us that they seemed to remember an interview in which the First Minister had revealed a possible reason for her extreme antipathy to the idea – one for the BBC’s extensive and rather good three-part documentary “Yes/No – Inside The Indyref”, which was broadcast in August 2019 and never seen again.
It’s not available on iPlayer or YouTube, but fortunately we happened to still have the show recorded on our Sky+ box, so we went to check, and lo and behold our source’s recollection was correct. Apologies for the slightly wonky quality of this video, as we had to record it off the TV screen.
You can’t move on social media today without tripping over effusive tweets from SNP MPs and MSPs singing the praises of departed Westminster leader Ian Blackford and admiring all his achievements in the position over the last five years, although weirdly nobody has actually listed any of them.
If anyone knows when “this process” will have ended and we’ll get our choice – or indeed what she achieved for Scotland in the Brexit negotiations – do let us know.
It’s more than two years now since we published this article, but it’s worth quickly going over it again, because there’s nothing on Earth more tedious than boneheads on social media going “Oh, you slag off the SNP but what’s YOUR plan if you’re so clever?”, who haven’t bothered to read any of the dozen times we’ve already answered that question since 25 months ago.
This is it. This is our plan. Try listening this time, thickos.
Young Lochinvar on The View From Row Z: “And that is supposed to mean? Only public school educated chaps and chappesses from nice areas are allowed to stand?…” Jun 2, 01:25
Buck Stradler on The View From Row Z: “This is what happens when you elect guttersnipes from Irvine.” Jun 2, 00:58
Young Lochinvar on The View From Row Z: “Hannah Bardell, former MP, lesbian and self professed “Queer” was aggressively pro Sturgeon on STVs Scotland Tonight. A quick Google…” Jun 2, 00:29
David Blake on The View From Row Z: “What do the police believe about the indyref2 money? The most obvious fact about the whole business is that it…” Jun 1, 22:17
Rob on The View From Row Z: “We had a chance to change things just a few weeks ago, the largest party is still the SNP and…” Jun 1, 21:00
Ian Smith on The View From Row Z: “Murrell was given legal aid because all his assets were frozen.” Jun 1, 20:55
gm on The View From Row Z: “I take it back, it appears to be perfectly normal for a KC to defend someone on legal aid. The…” Jun 1, 20:20
agentx on The View From Row Z: “Well your coalface acquaintance with decades of experience at the coal face of Scottish Criminal Justice, knows sfa. Murrell pleaded…” Jun 1, 20:08
Alf Baird on The View From Row Z: ““The mists are parting – it’s all becoming clear” Indeed, Uk***ne’s national elite opted to sacrifice their people and nation…” Jun 1, 19:49
Hatey McHateface on The View From Row Z: ““She is, of course, a nobody in England” Only, she’s not, just as she’s not a nobody in Scotland either.…” Jun 1, 19:23
gm on The View From Row Z: “I have no idea how it came about, what the rules are or whether it is the luck of the…” Jun 1, 19:22
Hatey McHateface on The View From Row Z: “Believe this or not. An acquaintance of mine, someone with decades of experience at the coal face of Scottish Criminal…” Jun 1, 19:13
Hatey McHateface on The View From Row Z: “I think I’m starting to see it, Alf. The mists are parting – it’s all becoming clear. Despite the complete…” Jun 1, 18:43
Hatey McHateface on The View From Row Z: “You leave your helmet alone, Wally W. If there was any justice in this world, you’d have long since gone…” Jun 1, 18:31
agentx on The View From Row Z: “Who exactly granted legal aid for Murrell when all we have been told is that he was rich enough to…” Jun 1, 17:49
agentx on The View From Row Z: “sorry – that “?” character should have been a tick. (Don’t know why it was not recognises as such)” Jun 1, 17:26
agentx on The View From Row Z: “He is incorrectly called a solicitor – he is in fact a senior counsel at the Scottish Criminal Bar. (Barrister)” Jun 1, 17:24
J Robertson on The View From Row Z: “Absolutely Ian . I would have hoped Kuenssberg would have called her out on her abject failure to discharge her…” Jun 1, 17:08
agentx on The View From Row Z: “Don’t forget Murrell is back in court tomorrow 2 Jun: “for a “narrative hearing” because the legal teams on both…” Jun 1, 16:49
Young Lochinvar on The View From Row Z: “Check out on YouTube; Nicola Sturgeons woes meets Gordon Browns cave. :-). 🙂” Jun 1, 16:46
Young Lochinvar on The View From Row Z: “Just read the most recent revelation in the Murrell Collection; 100+ toilet rolls bought just before Tricky Nicky (during early…” Jun 1, 16:18
Confused on The View From Row Z: “I think Peter Murrell always was a “patsy”, a “useful idiot”, first up, a convenient “beard” to hide that nikki…” Jun 1, 15:47
James on The View From Row Z: “Aye, Northy is a Pict….. And you’re a….”prick”. Wear your helmet with pride.” Jun 1, 15:17
Colin Alexander on The View From Row Z: “It may not (?) be a criminal offence for the SNP to spend indyref “ringfenced” money on other things. Criminal…” Jun 1, 15:05
agentx on The View From Row Z: ““You know how it is. You wake up and look out the bedroom window. You see a brand new Jaguar…” Jun 1, 14:59
Owen Mullions on The View From Row Z: “https://youtube.com/shorts/dorL_ib1_sc?si=XuCGCs2Y79v8b8Cy” Jun 1, 14:23
