Let’s get straight to the point: this is a straight-up categorical lie.
Since Wednesday’s events there’s been a lot of chatter and confusion on social media about whether the Scottish Government has the ability to trigger a snap Holyrood election and use it as a de facto plebiscite on independence.
The short answer, as we told you yesterday, is “officially no, in practice yes”. But that needs a bit of further explanation, so as usual let’s do the job of actual journalism that nobody else in Scotland can apparently be bothered to.
So it’s official – Scotland is not a partner in the UK, but a prisoner. Supposedly equal signatories to a treaty, we were in fact captured in 1707, with no hope of release other than at the whim of our jailer. It is an outrage, but a wholly predictable one.
Nicola Sturgeon could have put the matter of Holyrood’s legislative authority to the Supreme Court at any point since she became First Minister in November 2014. More particularly, she could have done so in July 2016, after the UK voted to leave the EU, thereby triggering a clear and explicit condition of the manifesto on which the SNP were re-elected as the Scottish Government just weeks earlier.
Instead, she’s wasted a decade of your time and probably sold Scotland’s future.
Well, it looks like Wings is coming back, then. Blimey. So let’s see where we’re going to be picking things up from. Exactly eight years ago today, Nicola Sturgeon took over as First Minister from Alex Salmond.
Yesterday we watched the first day’s proceedings of For Women Scotland taking the Scottish Government to court over its definition of what a woman is.
The topic is really very niche but will affect us all if the judge rules for the government (we won’t know the outcome for at least a month or two), so here’s the short version of what it’s all about.
In the 2021 Scottish Parliament election, the Scottish Greens received just 4.7% of all the votes cast. (255,314 of 5,419,544). The SNP got 44% – almost 10 times as many.
So we’re not sure how the Greens – a party that well over 90% of Scots don’t support – suddenly appear to be in charge.
Nor, perhaps more to the point, do we understand why.
As well as being the Director of the John Smith Policy Centre (a job with no known responsibilities but which nevertheless pays around the same as being an MSP making laws in the Scottish Parliament) she writes regular columns in The Times and The Courier and is now, hilariously, the new Professor of Practice in Public Service in Glasgow University.
(A post with unspecified duties and unknown salary and which was also not, as far as anyone can tell, ever publicly advertised.)
We were bored so we thought we’d find out, via Panelbase, if her latest lucrative role was perhaps the result of a noticeably impressive performance in the first one.
A year and a quarter ago, we contrasted the performance of the SNP’s last two leaders in terms of building support for independence. As the First Minister crows about how much better she’s been at staying in power than a succession of UK leaders, it seems only proper to bring the stats up to date.
Do you remember, readers, how the next UK election was supposed to be a single-issue de facto referendum on independence if the Supreme Court ruled Holyrood didn’t have the power to hold one itself?
Well, it appears that policy has been abruptly and quietly ditched.
Because just a couple of hours ago SNP Westminster leader Ian Blackford told BBC News that “I can assure you” the SNP “will have a growth manifesto” for the whole UK whenever the next election comes around, because in his view the UK economy hasn’t been growing enough for the last few decades and the SNP would have a plan to fix it. Because apparently fixing the UK is the SNP’s purpose now.
Guess we better hope for a good result from the Supreme Court, then.
And while the prediction itself wasn’t vindicated, the reasoning behind it certainly was, because she duly lost her majority just as we said she would, and limped pitifully into oblivion over the next two painful and shambolic years. (While Nicola Sturgeon ponced around hopelessly trying to stop Brexit instead of saving Scotland by getting it the hell out of the UK before it was too late.)
So it’s in that spirit that we’re going to stick our necks out once again and predict that despite the opinions of most political pundits Liz Truss is going nowhere any time soon, because as incredible as it seems, she’s almost certainly the least worst option for the Conservative Party right now.
Honestly, readers, swear to God, all joking and sarcasm aside, when we saw this tweet yesterday we were wondering how on Earth some clever satirist had managed to hack Anas Sarwar’s account to insert the screenshot into it.
Because we didn’t believe that even Scottish Labour’s low-watt-bulb of a branch manager would willingly post something that made him look so much of an imbecile.
Young Lochinvar on Clocks And Calendars: “Beggars You missed out Enoch Powell’s “rivers of blood” hysteria in your post. A but remiss of you there “old…” Mar 31, 02:59
Young Lochinvar on Clocks And Calendars: “Now now Beggars, don’t get carmugeonly.. Pains me to say it, but Baby Uncle Sam has done what Amnesiac Baby…” Mar 31, 02:50
Mark Beggan on Clocks And Calendars: “Any gamblers amongst us? General election before 2029. 3/1 General election 2027. 7/1 General election 2026. 11/1 Marshall Law declared.…” Mar 31, 02:12
Mark Beggan on Clocks And Calendars: “I don’t think you understand what’s going on geopolitically. There’s a new sheriff in town. The war has been won.…” Mar 31, 02:07
Young Lochinvar on Clocks And Calendars: “Beggars That’s LONG since breached paying for rusted subs and missiles that go “plop” – and you didn’t even notice…” Mar 31, 01:03
Charlie on Clocks And Calendars: “You must have lived somewhere posh, that was in my local newsagents 😉” Mar 30, 23:17
James on Protest But Don’t Survive: “Dirty protest? What’s that, voting Tory? More your two’s style, I’d say.” Mar 30, 22:59
Captain Caveman on Protest But Don’t Survive: “Heh. Like, as if that imbecile is on the Electoral Roll… probably doesn’t even have a fixed address.” Mar 30, 22:53
Mark Beggan on Clocks And Calendars: “When will the IMF come knocking on the door? Any number crunchers out there? How long till Britains credit is…” Mar 30, 22:09
Glenn Boyd on Clocks And Calendars: “Lord help us if that New Labour Scumbag Sarwar gets anywhere near taking power. Lets remember this is the fucking…” Mar 30, 20:51
Southernbystander on Sicknote Slippers: “Thanks for saying this. It is of course correct. It has becomes standard for any progressive / anti-fascist march to…” Mar 30, 20:50
Aidan on Protest But Don’t Survive: “Assume you’ll be planning your normal dirty protest in the polling booth “James”?” Mar 30, 19:53
George Ferguson on Clocks And Calendars: “To some my claim of Scottish Labour finishing fourth is fanciful. As fanciful as Sarwar claiming moral authority. We will…” Mar 30, 19:31
James on Clocks And Calendars: “YL; Here’s to Good King Robert. Cheers! They don’t like it up ’em.” Mar 30, 18:50
Dan on Sicknote Slippers: “I had an ironic chuckle at Stu having a go at Slipper’s albeit limited hair! At least as the cost…” Mar 30, 18:39
James on Protest But Don’t Survive: “Aye, draw a great big ‘Captain Caveman’ on your ballot paper, folks.” Mar 30, 18:37
twathater on Clocks And Calendars: “The Scotsman in conjunction with every other shite rag is trolling the electorate with this insulting PISH The Headline should…” Mar 30, 18:26
Young Lochinvar on Clocks And Calendars: “Happy anniversary tomorrow of the 1307 battle of Glentrool. Bruce’s looking at spiders days were put behind him at Glentrool…” Mar 30, 18:19
Frank Gillougley on Clocks And Calendars: “Aye, ‘Vote fur Jack Duggan Sarwar’, it’s definitely got a ring tae it. Pure wild wae it so he is.” Mar 30, 17:23
Young Lochinvar on Clocks And Calendars: “Yee haw pardner.. Uncle Sam’s getting all worked up about a super bigly expensive low gear fly by mission “to…” Mar 30, 17:21
Alf Baird on Clocks And Calendars: “Past time The Hootsman changed its teetle tae ‘The Hoose Jock’; or just go the hale hog as ‘The Colonialist’.…” Mar 30, 15:50
Aidan on Clocks And Calendars: “Labour are really going to form a coalition with Reform are they? Oh aye i bet they’ll be shouting about…” Mar 30, 15:14
Captain Caveman on Sicknote Slippers: “Although approaching things from a different perspective to my own, what a marvelous post, though doubtless largely wasted here. Bravo.…” Mar 30, 14:12
Mark Beggan on Clocks And Calendars: “If you thought that was crazy did anyone see Scottish Labours political broadcast online. A day in the life of…” Mar 30, 14:11
David on Clocks And Calendars: “I assume this was written and supplied to The Scotsman by a deluded Labour Hack. Why don’t The Scotsman republish…” Mar 30, 14:10
Campbell Clansman on Clocks And Calendars: “Labour, and The Scotsman, must think voters are dumb enough to take this “analysis” seriously. Which says a lot about…” Mar 30, 13:28
Lorncal on Sicknote Slippers: “The real far right is a tiny minority of heid-the-bas. Always was. Even in the halcyon days of Mosley. What…” Mar 30, 13:25
Confused on Sicknote Slippers: “better together, pooling and sharing so, exactly what benefit do we draw from this “arrangement”, being siamese-twinned to these kleptomaniac…” Mar 30, 12:59
Northcode on Protest But Don’t Survive: “A fine adaptation from Allende’s speech, James, and a quote most apt in the context of Scotland’s subjugation by a…” Mar 30, 12:11
Northcode on Sicknote Slippers: “*Do yous want tae march? Apparently 99% of actual, real and genuine liberty seeking, independence supporting Scots didn’t want to……” Mar 30, 11:47
