This is shadow Chancellor John McDonnell speaking to the Labour Party conference in Brighton just a few minutes ago (immediately prior to rather presumptuously inviting the Scottish electorate to “come home to Labour”):
We don’t recall those things happening. We feel sure that if they had, they would have been mentioned in the papers. Can any readers help us out?
Given that he’s the last Labour MP left in Scotland, it’s perhaps just as well that Ian Murray is a quite interesting figure, because there’s going to be a lot of attention on him in the next five years.
Unlike the over-promoted, under-skilled, Buggins’-turn knife-and-fork-operators who’ve disgraced what were previously weigh-the-vote Labour constituencies in Scotland for decades, the member for Edinburgh South has some genuinely admirable qualities. As we noted before the election, he’s earned a reputation as a hard-working local MP: holding surgeries, replying diligently to letters and speaking up in the Commons.
He’s got a sense of humour about his lonely role, he’s the only Unionist politician ever to talk to Wings on the record, and on account of running a large tent at the Bath Festival most years he’s well known to several of our good friends in the city, who all speak highly of his personal character and work ethic.
So in all seriousness, we’re not without respect for the man. Which makes it all the more painful every time he opens his mouth.
Ever since the SNP’s unexpected majority in 2011, there’s been a constant low-level whine of “one-party state” from various elements of the Unionist establishment. (The first example we could find from a quick Google search was Liberal Democrat buffoon Sir Malcolm Bruce in September of that year.)
It’s a curiously bitter and irrational way to refer to the outcome of democratic elections held under proportional representation, reflecting a worrying contempt for the views of voters, but after the SNP saw the benefits of First Past The Post in May 2015 (having spent decades being its victim), the angry bleating has become far more noticeable.
(The most recent politician to use the phrase was the Lib Dems’ current leader Tim Farron. Perhaps the party is engaging in displacement activity to distract itself from its craven abandonment in 2010 of its lifelong commitment to introduce PR, selling its principles cheaply for ministerial cars and a referendum on what Nick Clegg called the “miserable little compromise” of AV, which was then lost by a humiliating margin.)
The editor of the New Statesman just tweeted this image, trailing an interview with Jim Murphy, who alert readers may recall led Scottish Labour for a few months this year before its apocalyptic disaster of a general election campaign which saw it lose 40 of the 41 Scottish seats it won in 2010:
Oh, wait – maybe he’s trying to claim the credit for it.
Alert readers may recall an incident last year in which the Scottish media got itself very worked up about some independence supporters threatening to boycott holiday company Barrhead Travel after its owner sent a barking-mad letter to staff about how the company would go out of business if Scotland voted Yes.
So we’re sure that you won’t be able to move later today and tomorrow for newspaper articles about something similar, but significantly worse, that happened this weekend.
And that’s all very well, but not exactly stop-the-presses stuff – nobody reading this site is going to be terribly surprised at Scottish Labour being caught out in a lie. But the party’s house newspaper the Daily Record went for a subtly different angle on the story that did manage to provoke us to raise an eyebrow.
So we weren’t expecting this. The Telegraph have sent us a reply after we complained to IPSO about this. It’s worth a read, so we thought we’d let you see it.
We’ve got a book to read today, folks, so we’ll be with you later.
We expect it to be in the top three funniest things we read today, but to be honest with you we wouldn’t like to commit to anything more specific than that.
GM on The Land Of No Laws: “The richest club in Scotland by a massive distance and that’s 15 out of 16 titles in a row. 15…” May 18, 00:22
william G Walker on The Land Of No Laws: “JAMBO of Hearts says that “there are only three inavoidable rules in life – death, taxes and the Scottish Football…” May 17, 23:01
sarah on The Land Of No Laws: “I’m happy with facts, Martin! Truth is essential in all things. I saw a graphic which was showing the leading…” May 17, 22:48
Young Lochinvar on The Land Of No Laws: “Lighten up folks! I reckon the “chaps” going for a Saturday afternoon stroll onto the pitch might perhaps be discouraged…” May 17, 22:29
Owen Mullions on The Land Of No Laws: “He didn’t cut it short though. There were 30 seconds left when Celtic scored and the clock doesn’t stop when…” May 17, 22:04
Red on The Land Of No Laws: “A scunner of a game. I don’t think Celtic FC realises how unpopular they’ve become with neutral Scots. The neddery…” May 17, 21:25
John from Fife on The Land Of No Laws: “PS. The SEA have apologised for hearts not being awarded a penalty against Motherwell. If the had been given it…” May 17, 20:44
Northcode on The Land Of No Laws: “Yes, you are correct — Herman argues that the Scots invented the modern world, but, as you say, he also…” May 17, 20:42
Martin on The Land Of No Laws: “Except that isn’t true and it depends entirely on the remaining home or away fixtures owed. Celtic despite being top…” May 17, 20:21
Martin on The Land Of No Laws: “He didn’t cut it short. 45 minutes at a minimum were played both halves. Time added in added time is,…” May 17, 20:18
Martin on The Land Of No Laws: “2 seasons ago the added time directive from UEFA came out, concerned about how little ball on play time there…” May 17, 20:15
Martin on The Land Of No Laws: “Sorry Stu, but you’re wrong. The laws you quoted are for normal time. The clock doesn’t stop with goals and…” May 17, 20:03
Billy Carlin on The Land Of No Laws: “I am one of the massive majority who do not bother with Scottish football – only around 150,000 fans bother…” May 17, 19:55
Run the Border on The Land Of No Laws: “Thanks. Very good and spot on.” May 17, 19:53
Jamie on The Land Of No Laws: “You are right, whoever shouts the loudest gets the reward in Scotland, just ask all the Hearts fans last time…” May 17, 19:28
Lorncal on The Land Of No Laws: “Used to follow football, but not for years. However, I agree with the headline. We are, indeed, living in as…” May 17, 19:22
Socrates MacSporran on The Land Of No Laws: “If I can be pedantic Rev, in quoting SFA regulations you are aiming at the wrong target. The match was…” May 17, 19:13
Skip_NC on The Land Of No Laws: “Yes,I’ve read it. In fact it’s on the side table next to me right now. I disagree with your characterization…” May 17, 18:40
Rev. Stuart Campbell on The Land Of No Laws: “Unlawfully. He has no power to cut the game short.” May 17, 18:31
Rev. Stuart Campbell on The Land Of No Laws: “” I see you managed to forget Rangers 1972 “triumph” in the UCWC.” Well, yes, because I was fucking five…” May 17, 18:30
twathater on The Land Of No Laws: “100% with you on that Northy, ffs they are all poseurs who jist want tae hang on to each others…” May 17, 18:18
sam on The Land Of No Laws: “I asked “Search assist” this question: “In what ways can a country be a victim?” Here is the answer. “Ways…” May 17, 17:53
100%Yes on The Land Of No Laws: “What They Never Tell You About the Picts. It was very interesting just in case you fancy watching. youtube.com/watch?v=bzXRIEQumGE” May 17, 17:40
Iain Ross on The Land Of No Laws: “The fact that the last game ended as it did was a disgrace and Celtic should be penalised. However, for…” May 17, 17:09
Mark Beggan on The Land Of No Laws: “What’s worse reading the comments or writing about the comments? What with breast implants being so expensive these days. I…” May 17, 17:06
Northcode on The Land Of No Laws: “Watching folk playing Tiddlywinks or Dominoes is more interesting than watching the fitba. Painting the dots onto dominoes tiles and…” May 17, 16:49
sarah on The Land Of No Laws: “An added “oddity” to ponder. 99.9999999 times out of 100, the top team play the last game of the season…” May 17, 16:18
Northcode on The Land Of No Laws: ““Have you actually read that book?” Yes, have you? Because if you have you don’t appear to have grasped Herman’s…” May 17, 16:17
Skip_NC on The Land Of No Laws: “You should be right and back in the days when we were operating under the laws written by Stanley Rous…” May 17, 16:10