The Yes movement, like almost all movements, is plagued with a small but incredibly loud faction of intolerant, destructive extremists. Alert readers will have noticed that this site has again been the victim of them this week, but we’re not alone. They’ve also gone after two print publications – The National and iScot – over their “transgressions” against the beliefs of these self-appointed arbiters of what people are allowed to think.
What those two outlets and Wings have in common is achievement.
Last month saw the first meeting between the UK Brexit delegation and the EU’s, and by many accounts it fell far short of the UK’s expectations. David Davis spent months drumming up the “strong and stable” approach which would see both the divorce deal and the subsequent post-Brexit trade deal negotiated simultaneously. He was told by everyone that this wouldn’t happen, but simply brushed off the warnings. When push came to shove, he finally accepted that he’d have to negotiate the divorce deal first.
This is just the latest in a long string of failures and ineptitudes over the course of the UK’s handling of the whole farcical process and it got me thinking. If Scotland had voted Yes in 2014, what would it have looked like if the Scottish Government had handled that vote the way the UK has managed Brexit?
Millionaire-funded diehard loyalist forelock-tugging faction Scotland In Union published an extraordinary blog post yesterday.
Its 606 words comprised a sort of Caledonian Cringe Greatest Hits, allegedly penned by someone called Fiona Annesley (of whom we’re told nothing else, and who has no detectable online presence), but the line that particularly caught people’s eye was this:
The complete series so far. If you’ve got a story like this to tell, or you know anyone who does, Phantom Power want to hear from you – drop them a line.
I went to “Dunkirk” at the cinema today. If you want to know what it’s like, just watch this trailer 40 times in a row and save yourself the £12.
It’s a poor movie, disjointed and aimless and curiously lacking in tension or narrative given the real-life subject matter. (It’s remarkably short on dialogue, which is lucky because you can barely make out any of what little script or story there is from behind the endlessly howling one-note airhorn of the soundtrack. It’s a bit like someone filmed an IKEA assembly manual in live action during a Formula 1 race.)
But I couldn’t help thinking that part of the reason it was so unengaging was because it felt akin to watching a boxing match between two fighters you don’t like. If Mike Tyson took on Tyson Fury, would you cheer for the rapist or the anti-Semitic homophobe?
Today’s Daily Record covers the story we mentioned yesterday about a report from a Scottish Labour campaign group making the pretty factually-uncontestable point that the branch office’s dismal strategy in last month’s election held the UK party back.
We’ll be honest with you here, readers – even though it’s only July, when it comes to sheer ham-fisted, tin-eared, clown-shoed, foot-shooting idiocy we didn’t think anything in Scottish politics in 2017 could possibly top the SNP’s decision that the surefire way to win back voters after a poor election result was literally mutilating puppies.
After all, that’s the sort of thing you say as a self-evidently ludicrous and hyperbolic joke: “Ha ha, the SNP are so dominant in Scotland these days that the only way they could lose an election would be if Nicola Sturgeon went on telly and started hacking the tails off week-old puppy-dogs without anaesthetic! LOL!!!!!”
It couldn’t even be defended as a grotesque but cynically cunning attempt to win votes from the rural hunting-and-fishing lobby – they did it right AFTER the election, when all those people had just gone out and voted Tory anyway.
But bless their hearts, Scottish Labour never once saw a low bar that they didn’t try to slither under, and today they pulled off the seemingly impossible.
Broadly speaking, the psychological phenomenon known as the Pollyanna Principle is a tendency to neurotically see the most positive possible view of a situation. It’s not generally widely found in newspapers – for whom bad news as a rule sells much better than good news – but for some reason the Scottish press makes a uniform exception when it comes to military shipbuilding.
This, for example, is today’s Herald:
Now, in itself that headline is – unusually – true, so far as it goes. But it only takes until the first sentence of the article text before things start to fall apart.
Captain Caveman on The Nobodies: “@Fatso 6:09pm What is that incoherent, Frankenstein-esque AI cut ‘n paste even supposed to mean? Too thick to write your…” Aug 4, 08:33
Slim Jim on Or Something: “More power to you Rev but keep yourself safe.” Aug 4, 08:08
Hatey McHateface on Or Something: “Classic stuff indeed, Auld Lochnagar. Which do you prefer for your personal re-enactments: Tesco or LIDL? What about Sainsburys? They…” Aug 4, 07:53
Hatey McHateface on Or Something: ““Someone should tell trump he should not buy greenland, but scaatlan” Genius, Confused! It’s beyond belief that President Trump has…” Aug 4, 07:36
Young Lochinvar on Or Something: “Off topic.. Tomorrow is the anniversary of the 1388 battle of Otterburn. Froissart recounted this in detail and his commentary…” Aug 4, 00:27
Confused on Or Something: “Who reads mcalpine? It’s weak pish. As for UN recognition – everyone in the place hates “england” since they were…” Aug 3, 23:41
Hatey McHateface on Or Something: ““I was wrong” But then you’re used to that. Seriously though, Northy, even if your claim and your logic are…” Aug 3, 22:45
Carol Neill on Or Something: “@angus that’s exactly what they’re hoping for Oor Stu’s well up for them Little do they realise how many will…” Aug 3, 22:33
Hatey McHateface on Or Something: ““All the right credentials” Nah. White, white, white. “am I being just too cynical?” Naw. Not cynical enough. Peak cynicism…” Aug 3, 22:33
Alf Baird on Or Something: ““It would be good to sneer at the SNP as it couldn’t happen to a nicer bunch but there is…” Aug 3, 22:29
James Jones on Or Something: “Why on Earth would you think that when devolution hasn’t delivered “greater democratic accountability” and independence would only put greater…” Aug 3, 22:14
Northcode on Or Something: “I previously said no entrustment existed in the ring-fenced SNP money case. I was wrong… the Inner House has now…” Aug 3, 22:00
Bilbo on Or Something: “It’s hard to know what to make of it. Is the SNP going to be destroyed from without by state…” Aug 3, 21:46
Angus on Or Something: “One word of caution. Be vigilant at all times and do not go for hikes in isolated places.” Aug 3, 21:44
James on The Nobodies: “Here’s unionist Walloper #3 arrived in his clown wagon. Well, Adrian, petal; your posts certainly gie me a migraine. I…” Aug 3, 21:42
Angus on Or Something: ““Please do not make the mistake of thinking that I will eventually get bored and go away. I will not.”…” Aug 3, 21:39
Angus on Or Something: ““Doubtless we’ll receive the same reply as before, but in three different fonts, in around a month’s time, so make…” Aug 3, 21:36
Aidan on The Nobodies: “As usual James, nothing you write (or rather copy and paste) is worth reading. Just a collection of childish, unsophisticated…” Aug 3, 21:24
MaryB on Or Something: “Bilbo @ 6.57 Re Nicola Sturgeon’s latest outburst. It seems as though her handlers have now told her to throw…” Aug 3, 21:23
robertkknight on Or Something: “Let justice be done…” Aug 3, 21:16
Hatey McHateface on Or Something: ““Robin acts as if the UKG is a genuine article” It does take a “special” kind of genius to pretend…” Aug 3, 20:51
Hatey McHateface on Or Something: “Why don’t you read the article again, Dan? Maybe then you’ll be able to write a sensible post about it.…” Aug 3, 20:38
100%Yes on Or Something: “Its funny how its alright for Westminster to play dirty tricks. Robin acts as if the UKG is a genuine…” Aug 3, 20:30
Hatey McHateface on Or Something: “Odd. So when Murrell bought the Northern Lights pendant with funds he had embezzled from the SNP, he wasn’t thinking…” Aug 3, 20:05
Dan on Or Something: “Hmm, looks like some serious franchise fanny shizzle going on here… https://robinmcalpine.org/scotland-will-be-independent-but-not-through-electoral-tricks/ So forget for a moment using the ridiculously…” Aug 3, 19:42
agentx on Or Something: “She wrote: “To say I feel completely and utterly betrayed is an understatement. It isn’t just that in committing these…” Aug 3, 19:34
Frazerio on Or Something: “Reminds me very much of this: Andy Dufresne: How can you be so obtuse? Warden Samuel Norton: [his anger rising]…” Aug 3, 19:32
Hatey McHateface on Or Something: ““pay for a more professional spin-doctor” You having a laugh? It’s me paying for it all. Me, you, and every…” Aug 3, 19:01
Bilbo on Or Something: “O/T I see that Sturgeon is tearing into Swinney in a new preface to her book which I presume is…” Aug 3, 18:57