One might almost imagine that once every Parliament, a drawing of lots is conducted at The Times’ offices in Scotland and the loser is obliged to write this column, on pain of a ceremonial debagging and a jolly good paddling with an old cricket bat from all the other chaps in the newsroom.
Perhaps the fear is playing tricks with Alex Massie’s memory.
We were sent something disturbing recently. It’s from a training course civil servants are being sent on by the Scottish Government.
As you can see, one of the sites that staff are directed to is something called The Trans Language Primer. We thought you should see some of its content.
Even when you’re retired, some things are too journalistically offensive to let pass, such as this piece of absolute garbage we just saw from The National today.
The paper’s anonymous reporter set off all our red warning lights at once.
There was, very obviously, no “indyref2 campaign launch” yesterday, not least for the reason that there is no indyref2. Nothing whatsoever has changed from the situation which has persisted for the last six years, namely that the SNP says it wants another referendum and the UK government says it can’t have one.
There has been no agreement and there has been no legal judgement settling the impasse. No laws have been passed, no date has been set (though a flustered Angus Robertson blurted out something about next October on Good Morning Scotland), no preparations have been made.
While this site remains mothballed, it’s nice to keep a steady trickle of traffic going just in case it ever needs to spring back to life, eg if someone actually interested in independence suddenly somehow becomes leader of the SNP again.
So we thought it might be fun to just briefly link to some old articles as and when they became topical once more, and as luck would have it tomorrow is such an occasion.
Because that’s when the SNP will launch the first of a series of new papers outlining the First Minister’s “vision” of independence by waffling on about how it would be a jolly good thing, in the unlikely event that she ever got off her extremely well-paid arse and achieved it.
Since Wings confirmed its formal closure as a blog there have nevertheless been 19 posts in eight-and-a-half months, comprising a mixture of polls (the site’s remaining purpose), guest posts, admin, a couple of throwaway joke videos and very occasional one-off, polling-related comment pieces on significant occasions like the SNP marking 15 years in power or Nicola Sturgeon becoming the longest-serving First Minister.
So it’s a little bit startling that it’s still – and by a considerable distance – the world’s most-read Scottish politics site.
(In fact, bigger than the next three put together.)
Geri on The Tactics Of Suicide: “It won’t be changing with London based stooges that’s for sure. The nawbags have far too much to lose. Say…” Feb 27, 17:43
Andy Ellis on The Tactics Of Suicide: “@Geri More delusional nonsense Geri: colour us unsurprised. Ordinary Scottish voters will still troop to the polls in May and…” Feb 27, 17:42
Geri on The Tactics Of Suicide: “A new world order is coming. Englandshire is a pariah. It won’t make a seat at the next International organisation…” Feb 27, 17:13
Stevie on The Tactics Of Suicide: “I haven’t anything valuable to add other than, the SNP is the enemy of Scotland and Scottish culture – Reform…” Feb 27, 17:11
Mark Beggan on The Tactics Of Suicide: “It’s official Muslims love homosexuals and Transgender ideology. That’s progressive politik in motion. The Green revolution.” Feb 27, 17:03
Andy Ellis on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Doubtless many “politically homeless” Scottish independence supporters – whether native born or vile New Scots colonialists so reviled by the…” Feb 27, 17:01
Northcode on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Aye, Alf… thon yin maun hae mair coorags an curnies and ither fyngers oan ane haun than maist fowk hae…” Feb 27, 17:00
Geri on The Tactics Of Suicide: “‘Hoo’s the F16s these days? Tires worn oot frae all the taxiing aboot?’ I’ve forgot nothing. They’re not off the…” Feb 27, 16:49
Iain More on The Tactics Of Suicide: “MRP Predictions – I just dont believe it. Greens winning a by-election on Trumps aircraft carrier the USS England will…” Feb 27, 16:38
Young Lochinvar on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Horton and Denton by election. Green Party leader Zak Polanski told news reporters that “there aren’t any no- go areas”…” Feb 27, 15:54
Geri on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Give it up, Shiteface. Nothing, & I mean NOTHING, trumps the Eppy files & the people behind all of it.…” Feb 27, 15:48
Hatey McHateface on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Quantity AND quality, Alf. Big Scottish election coming up in May. Will set the path for Scotland’s governance for the…” Feb 27, 15:36
Hatey McHateface on The Tactics Of Suicide: ““make the declaration of Arbroath a modern reality, without death” Just so long as we can still totally destroy the…” Feb 27, 15:30
Alf Baird on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Jings, 25 oot o 85 commends here fae yer guid sel sae faur, Hatey ower Scotlan. Yer daein awfu weel,…” Feb 27, 15:22
Young Lochinvar on The Tactics Of Suicide: “I see Churchill’s statue in Lahndun (variously described back in the day as either looking like a turtle or Mussolini-…” Feb 27, 15:03
Hatey McHateface on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Game on AND game over, Geri. Michty! Hoo’s the F16s these days? Tires worn oot frae all the taxiing aboot?…” Feb 27, 14:46
Cynicus on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Geri says: 27 February, 2026 at 2:10 pm A. I am glad we can agree that. But surely you are…” Feb 27, 14:43
Jamie on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Reform are going to do well in both elections with or without Scottish Patriot support. The time is now to…” Feb 27, 14:40
Hatey McHateface on The Tactics Of Suicide: ““STOAP”, Northy. If you want to write colloquially, you have to be prepared to adjust the spelling so that readers…” Feb 27, 14:14
Geri on The Tactics Of Suicide: “A. Its a Republic. Another would take over. Haven’t the neocons learnt that by now? Even if TACO doesn’t reverse.…” Feb 27, 14:10
Hatey McHateface on The Tactics Of Suicide: “A return to true form from Confused. Say what you like about the Jews, but they don’t drive cars into…” Feb 27, 14:01
Northcode on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Every time… NOO, adv. Also nou, nu (Abd. 1829 A. Cruickshank Poems 34; Sh. 1914 Angus Gl.). Gen. (exc. s.)…” Feb 27, 13:54
Northcode on The Tactics Of Suicide: ““I don’t like to mention it, Northy…” Then why mention it… ye prick (I don’t think of you as a…” Feb 27, 13:47
Confused on The Tactics Of Suicide: “In our multi party voting systems you get 3-4 parties with around 20-30 percent support and they argue fiercely about…” Feb 27, 13:43
Hatey McHateface on The Tactics Of Suicide: “C’moan noo, Sven. It’s a classic example of the Scottish Cringe. There’s not one of us who hasn’t been thoroughly…” Feb 27, 13:06
Sven on The Tactics Of Suicide: “I don’t like to mention it, Northy, however the only “pedantic prick”, (i don’t think of you as such and…” Feb 27, 12:54
Hatey McHateface on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Seeing as how you mention it, Northy, if you intend to abbreviate “fucking” to “fuckin'”, then you need to be…” Feb 27, 12:50
Hatey McHateface on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Looks like there was quite a bit of electoral fraud going on, x. Par for the course in these constituencies.…” Feb 27, 12:18