When I was a boy at Balbardie Primary School in Bathgate in the mid-70s, football was banned in the playground. Of course we were all fitba-daft laddies, so we sought ways around the prohibition. Occasionally someone would bring in a tennis ball, but those were difficult to control in school shoes and also apt to fly over the wall of the outdoor toilet block if somebody caught one sweetly on the volley.
So most playtimes somebody would produce a tin of Pepsi or Irn-Bru or Cresta, chug the contents, stand the empty container on its end and stomp sharply on it, producing something more akin to an ice-hockey puck that would serve for our kickabout.
But even after being skelped and scudded around a concrete playground into stone walls for 20 minutes, that can was still in better shape at the end of our game than the one the SNP have been kicking down the road since 2016.
The SNP now seem to be involved in some sort of competition where they dare each other to come up with the most blatant insult to their own members and/or the wider independence movement and see just how much they can get people to put up with.
First up was this drivel:
Humza Yousaf is leader of the SNP, a political party whose defining purpose – arguably its SOLE real purpose – is the pursuit of Scottish independence, but his “vision for Scotland” didn’t include a single mention of it.
Instead, Yousaf intends to spend the next three years on “equality”, “opportunity” and “community”, three meaningless buzzwords which every political party on Earth would claim to be in favour of. He might as well have identified his key values as kittens, lollipops and hugs.
Once again, we’re dismayed to report that we called it right. Because last night SNP MSP Mairi McAllan, officially representing the party on Question Time, told a weary audience in Fort William that that was precisely the case.
And readers, if ever a policy has been tested in battle and found wanting, it’s that one.
Just over a year ago, Shona Robison – then the Cabinet Secretary For Social Justice, now the Deputy First Minister – told the Scottish Parliament this:
There now follow some quotes from the media regarding the case of Andrew Miller, aka Amy George, who yesterday admitted the kidnap and repeated sexual abuse of an 11-year-old girl at his home in Galashiels earlier this year.
But we’ve subsequently noticed a number of attempts by various people to muddy the story by talking about a “draft” warrant request, implying that there was no improper delay. So we checked up, and thought you might like to know how the process works.
Young Lochinvar on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Cover picture of Commissioner Swinney from Police Academy “Good speech” scene. “And I.. think.. well let this slide.. speak for…” Jun 29, 16:28
Aidan on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “I notice you were happy to dismiss the overwhelming evidence of grooming gangs because of some weaknesses with the methodology…” Jun 29, 16:26
BigJay on The Fast Track: “I see Stu quotes Sir Iain Livingstone in one of his panels above. The quote is dated the 19th of…” Jun 29, 16:16
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on The Fast Track: “Just noticed that English version of above is available here: https://dasg.ac.uk/blog/en” Jun 29, 16:00
Young Lochinvar on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “NC @ 3.13 Correct. Saxons spoke a Germanic from Saxony/ Holland whereas the Angles spoke a Germanic from Denmark. C3PO:…” Jun 29, 15:58
100%Yes on The Fast Track: “How can a party that at the time had 125,000 members and lets say they all paid £5 a month…” Jun 29, 15:48
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on The Fast Track: “CÙIRTEAN, CÙISEAN-LAGHA AGUS CEARTAS (Air a sgrìobhadh le Garry Cooke air 18 an Cèitean, 2026) « Mar a tha fios…” Jun 29, 15:40
Young Lochinvar on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “C3PO @ 2.45 Is that right? Oh well other than shouldering a share of the UKs national debt (which we…” Jun 29, 15:22
Northcode on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “No – Scots is not descended from Early Middle English. It’s descended from Northumbrian Old English, which is older than…” Jun 29, 15:13
Young Lochinvar on The Fast Track: “J-Logue of COPFS said in the interview that they looked at this initial matter and there was no evidence! Breathy…” Jun 29, 15:10
sam on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Posted By: Scottish Financial Review January 30, 2025 Analysis published by the Office of the Chief Economic Advisor has estimated…” Jun 29, 15:08
lothianlad on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “The SNP leadership is controlled by MI5. Eventually the truth will be revealed. Keep up the Good work Stu. Without…” Jun 29, 15:00
lothianlad on The Fast Track: “Gie it Lalday Stu!!!!” Jun 29, 14:52
Mark Beggan on The Fast Track: “Commit a complex crime to hide a simple, in your face, bigger crime. Peter Murrell took one for the team.” Jun 29, 14:45
Spartan 117 on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Would this be the Scots language which is directly descended from Early Middle English?” Jun 29, 14:45
sam on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Being British. This disnae mention Norn Iron. I suppose there is just too much deviancy and cover up involved in…” Jun 29, 14:34
Northcode on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “To summarise, using thon foul Inglis tongue we Scots hiv aw been forced tae use, what Sam is saying here…” Jun 29, 14:30
Hatey McHateface on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: ““we Scots who identify as Scottish only don’t feel the same way” Sure, Northy. But you do like to spend…” Jun 29, 14:30
Mark Beggan on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “All this crap you spout? Is it because you are not allowed in the girls toilets anymore? Tell us the…” Jun 29, 14:27
sam on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “https://www.communitylandscotland.org.uk/blown-away/ “A recent report from the Centre for Local Economies (CLES) puts paid to the idea that there isn’t enough…” Jun 29, 14:19
Hatey McHateface on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: ““they are all ‘fucking morons’” Good Lord, Northy! Back peddling already. Hardly no time since you were calling them fucking…” Jun 29, 14:12
Northcode on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “That’s because, as I have recently explained, those Anglo-Scots absolutely, definitely love being fucked in their arses by their ‘superior’…” Jun 29, 14:04
Hatey McHateface on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Your post lacks those tiny but telling details that identify that no matter how ridiculous, exaggerated and simply tonto it…” Jun 29, 13:53
Northcode on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “My mistake is brilliant news for Scotland. You have cut the number of eejits identifying as Scottish AND British by…” Jun 29, 13:50
Spartan 117 on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Our own Scots in Holyrood seem very willing to fuck us all up the arse, as the Murrills and Co…” Jun 29, 13:43
Hatey McHateface on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Careful! You might resurrect the stereotype of the Scots as mean, grasping, penny pinching misers. Everybody knows there is no…” Jun 29, 13:38
Hatey McHateface on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Wheesht, sam, what does it matter what the figures are? Northy’s objective is to establish that anybody disagreeing with his…” Jun 29, 13:29
Hatey McHateface on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: ““no one wants SOSHALISZM, which CAN NEVER EVER WORk” You got that bit right. Well done you. You’ll be one…” Jun 29, 13:21
sam on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Northcode, Your figures cannae be right. 1.5 million Scots are not identifying as British and Scots. It’s not half a…” Jun 29, 12:55
