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Now it’s all out 71

Posted on June 11, 2023 by

Welcome to Cell Club, Nicola.

Developing a complex 122

Posted on June 10, 2023 by

Wings two days ago: “The SNP wants to do a devo-max deal with Labour”.

The SNP today: “We’re prepared to do a devo-max deal with Labour”.

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The heavy lifting 83

Posted on June 10, 2023 by

The Next Government Of Scotland 115

Posted on June 09, 2023 by

Is pictured below.

We’re putting it here for the record.

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Surrender when you’re winning 161

Posted on June 08, 2023 by

Let’s start with what we know.

The SNP tell us that independence support is currently at 53%.

They tell us that most Scots want a referendum within the next year:

And we know that it’s absolutely unequivocally possible for the SNP and Greens to trigger a Holyrood election which would serve as a de facto referendum not only within a year, but within weeks. Scots could entirely realistically go to the polls this August or September, or even on the date Nicola Sturgeon promised less than a year ago.

So why are the SNP choosing this of all moments to give up?

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Far beyond the pale horizon 81

Posted on June 07, 2023 by

In fairness, on one level it’s really funny.

Assuming you’ve already resigned yourself to independence never happening, that is.

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Carrying the cans 126

Posted on June 06, 2023 by

Even for Lorna Slater this is jaw-droppingly dumb:

It takes Olympic-class stupidity to publicly put a figure to how much your staggering incompetence has cost Scottish businesses in the middle of an economic crisis.

Either the Scottish Government knew the DRS wasn’t compliant and was hoping the UK government would shut it down, so that it could attempt to clumsily extract some political capital from “interference” (in which case it’s directly responsible for those losses of hundreds of millions of pounds), OR it was so mindbogglingly inept that it genuinely intended the scheme to go into operation but failed to legislate it properly (in which case it’s directly responsible for those losses of hundreds of millions of pounds).

In either case, any minister with responsibility for the gargantuan shambles should – quite obviously – be out on their ears before FMQs on Thursday in desperate hope of avoiding the government being sued by the affected firms. But the SNP/Green coalition has as little shame as it has ability or dignity, so expect the clown show to continue.

Spin the bottle 293

Posted on June 03, 2023 by

High on the groundhog 194

Posted on June 01, 2023 by

This is a wretchedly boring time to be writing about politics for a living, readers. Parliamentarians in Edinburgh and London haven’t technically checked out for the summer yet – Holyrood still has a month to go before taking two months off, while Westminster is currently having a couple of weeks off for “Whitsun”, whatever the hell that is, before coming back for a month and a half then sodding off until September.

But really they’re already at the “bringing board games in” stage of term, and both the elected chambers and the media already have their eyes on the beach, which probably explains why we’re being punted drivel like this.

Even if we must afford the graphics team some grudging kudos for the unicoo.

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The Appearance Of Propriety 454

Posted on May 29, 2023 by

Wait, has Nicola Sturgeon died? We didn’t see anything on the news.

Because there are only a limited number of possible reasonable explanations for why police wanting to find out what Nicola Sturgeon knew about something would ask people who aren’t Nicola Sturgeon.

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The Cod-father 141

Posted on May 28, 2023 by

It’s a bit disappointing to see an Italian-born man play into Mafia stereotypes.

“Nice indy movement you’ve got there. Be a shame if anything… happened to it.”

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The conscious uncoupling 116

Posted on May 27, 2023 by

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    • Young Lochinvar on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “C3PO @ 2.45 Is that right? Oh well other than shouldering a share of the UKs national debt (which we…Jun 29, 15:22
    • Northcode on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “No – Scots is not descended from Early Middle English. It’s descended from Northumbrian Old English, which is older than…Jun 29, 15:13
    • Young Lochinvar on The Fast Track: “J-Logue of COPFS said in the interview that they looked at this initial matter and there was no evidence! Breathy…Jun 29, 15:10
    • sam on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Posted By: Scottish Financial Review January 30, 2025 Analysis published by the Office of the Chief Economic Advisor has estimated…Jun 29, 15:08
    • lothianlad on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “The SNP leadership is controlled by MI5. Eventually the truth will be revealed. Keep up the Good work Stu. Without…Jun 29, 15:00
    • lothianlad on The Fast Track: “Gie it Lalday Stu!!!!Jun 29, 14:52
    • Mark Beggan on The Fast Track: “Commit a complex crime to hide a simple, in your face, bigger crime. Peter Murrell took one for the team.Jun 29, 14:45
    • Spartan 117 on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Would this be the Scots language which is directly descended from Early Middle English?Jun 29, 14:45
    • sam on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Being British. This disnae mention Norn Iron. I suppose there is just too much deviancy and cover up involved in…Jun 29, 14:34
    • Northcode on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “To summarise, using thon foul Inglis tongue we Scots hiv aw been forced tae use, what Sam is saying here…Jun 29, 14:30
    • Hatey McHateface on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: ““we Scots who identify as Scottish only don’t feel the same way” Sure, Northy. But you do like to spend…Jun 29, 14:30
    • Mark Beggan on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “All this crap you spout? Is it because you are not allowed in the girls toilets anymore? Tell us the…Jun 29, 14:27
    • Mark Beggan on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Have you watch Citizen Vigilante?Jun 29, 14:21
    • sam on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “https://www.communitylandscotland.org.uk/blown-away/ “A recent report from the Centre for Local Economies (CLES) puts paid to the idea that there isn’t enough…Jun 29, 14:19
    • Hatey McHateface on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: ““they are all ‘fucking morons’” Good Lord, Northy! Back peddling already. Hardly no time since you were calling them fucking…Jun 29, 14:12
    • Northcode on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “That’s because, as I have recently explained, those Anglo-Scots absolutely, definitely love being fucked in their arses by their ‘superior’…Jun 29, 14:04
    • Hatey McHateface on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Your post lacks those tiny but telling details that identify that no matter how ridiculous, exaggerated and simply tonto it…Jun 29, 13:53
    • Northcode on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “My mistake is brilliant news for Scotland. You have cut the number of eejits identifying as Scottish AND British by…Jun 29, 13:50
    • Spartan 117 on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Our own Scots in Holyrood seem very willing to fuck us all up the arse, as the Murrills and Co…Jun 29, 13:43
    • Hatey McHateface on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Careful! You might resurrect the stereotype of the Scots as mean, grasping, penny pinching misers. Everybody knows there is no…Jun 29, 13:38
    • Hatey McHateface on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Wheesht, sam, what does it matter what the figures are? Northy’s objective is to establish that anybody disagreeing with his…Jun 29, 13:29
    • Hatey McHateface on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: ““no one wants SOSHALISZM, which CAN NEVER EVER WORk” You got that bit right. Well done you. You’ll be one…Jun 29, 13:21
    • sam on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Northcode, Your figures cannae be right. 1.5 million Scots are not identifying as British and Scots. It’s not half a…Jun 29, 12:55
    • Colin Dawson on The Guilty Party: “Some did, but not all. It would be interesting to see a history of the “Good Guys” campaign as it…Jun 29, 12:46
    • Spartan 117 on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Mental, isn’t it. Your summary of what is now regarded as “feminism” is indeed accurate. It is a nilhistic misanthropic…Jun 29, 12:38
    • Northcode on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Call it what you like – a unification, a partnership, a marriage, a merger, a fusion, a joining, an alliance,…Jun 29, 12:13
    • Confused on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “some stories of note sure; whatever you say jack … https://archive.ph/MtIdp – just keep the pump and dump going there…Jun 29, 12:04
    • Confused on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “I am currently gathering contributions for venezuelan earthquake victims. – the money will be ring-fenced through my amazon account. in…Jun 29, 12:02
    • Peter Campbell on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “The police wouldn’t submit a report to COPFS on someone they thought wasn’t guilty of a crime. They would only…Jun 29, 11:30
    • Southernbystander on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Illuminati? Very small fry. Everything leads back to the madness inducing Nyarlathotep, a deity horrible beyond anything you can imagine,…Jun 29, 10:54
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