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How it’s going 355

Posted on January 24, 2021 by

We’re not entirely sure why the SNP’s charade of a “National Assembly” over indyref strategy is still going on today at all, since the party pre-announced the outcome of it on Friday night. But just in case you were wondering:

This morning on the Andrew Marr show, Nicola Sturgeon had accused Boris Johnson of being “frightened of democracy”. We hope the members of her party who spent six quid on a pass to be allowed to attend an online rubber-stamping session they weren’t even allowed to comment on appreciate the irony.

Polls Don’t Mean Prizes 317

Posted on January 23, 2021 by

If you were to poll us on which of the two signs below we preferred, we’d definitely vote for the one on the left. It’s a lot more eye-catching, it’s easier to read and the strong use of red makes it much clearer that a prohibition is in place.

But here’s the thing: we wouldn’t go to jail over the choice.

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Rotting from the head 92

Posted on January 23, 2021 by

Attack Of The Giant Squirrels 141

Posted on January 22, 2021 by

All we can say is that the other nine points better be amazing.

Because this, readers, is ZZZ-grade donkey fodder.

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Chasing waterfalls 258

Posted on January 22, 2021 by

It’s hard to keep up with developments in Scottish politics these days, readers. We told you January 2021 was going to be a pivotal and explosive month but there’s been more going on than even we expected, and that’s despite the fact that Alex Salmond and Nicola Sturgeon’s appearances before the Fabiani committee now both look like being pushed back to February.

So our apologies if we have to give some things rather more cursory coverage than they might ordinarily merit, or cram several stories into one post. For example, we’re just going to link you to solicitor advocate Gordon Dangerfield’s appearance yesterday on the Tommy Sheridan podcast, even though he said this non-trivial thing on it:

“There’s a very simple answer to [why Leslie Evans is still in a job]. She says it herself constantly to the inquiry – civil servants only represent ministers. They have no status other than as the servants of the government.

Who is Leslie Evans’ boss? Leslie Evans’ boss is Nicola Sturgeon. Nicola Sturgeon was behind this from the outset. Leslie Evans was carrying out Nicola Sturgeon’s instructions. And that’s why she’s still in a job. Because if she wasn’t still in a job, neither would Nicola Sturgeon be.”

The whole interview is pretty unmissable, so if you can find 24 spare minutes in your day try to give it a listen. But there’s more.

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The Need For Speed 115

Posted on January 21, 2021 by

You can say what you want about the Scottish Government, the Crown Office and the civil service [IMPORTANT LAWYER’S NOTE: NO YOU MOST DEFINITELY CAN’T], but there’s certainly no faulting their reaction time.

That was less than eight hours, for example. Great work, team.

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The Woman Who Doesn’t Exist 216

Posted on January 21, 2021 by

There’s a woman in Scotland whose name you’re not allowed to say.

You pay her wages and she theoretically works for you. But you can’t say her name.

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Song For Linda Fabiani 172

Posted on January 21, 2021 by

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Nothing for you to see here 151

Posted on January 20, 2021 by

This is definitely fine and not at all suspicious.

Geoff Aberdein is the man whose evidence could destroy the First Minister. We know he’s already told the High Court under oath that he had a meeting with Nicola Sturgeon on 29 March 2018 to discuss the Salmond affair.

Sturgeon claims otherwise, saying he just popped in for a friendly hello while seeing someone else, and that the meeting – which the Scottish Government had repeatedly denied ever happened at all, until it suddenly changed its mind and admitted it last August – was so inconsequential that she forgot about it entirely for almost a year, which is why she’d told Parliament in January 2019 that it didn’t exist.

Which of those accounts is correct will determine whether the First Minister was lying to Parliament deliberately and whether she has to resign under the Ministerial Code.

But now, not only will Aberdein – the single most important figure in the entire inquiry – NOT be called as a witness, but the public will not be allowed to see even a redacted version of his written testimony so that they can judge who’s telling the truth.

What conceivable reason could there be for that? How could either “The meeting was arranged in advance and we talked about the allegations” or “I was in visiting someone else and just popped my head round the door briefly to say hi” ever need to be a state secret the Scottish public mustn’t know? And yet it is.

No cover-up here, folks. All open and transparent and above board. There’s definitely nothing going on that the Scottish Government desperately wants to hide from you. It’s all fine. Ssssshhhh, now. Sssshhhh for Nicola like good little boys and girls. Write another of your nice wee blogs about how Boris Johnson will just give in for no reason and independence is inevitable. But no questions. Definitely no questions.

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Trigger happy 154

Posted on January 19, 2021 by

Tonight’s poll data from Survation is really quite remarkable.

We can’t wait to hear what “Pension Pete” Wishart makes of it.

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When Tories tell the truth 147

Posted on January 19, 2021 by

There’s a most revealing article by George Osborne in today’s Evening Standard. It’s well worth a read in full – it’s not very long – but this is the key passage:

The deathless defenders of Plan A will of course continue to shriek that “he’s a Tory so he must be lying”. And if any of them can ever actually manage to tell us what Scottish voters can possibly DO to Boris Johnson if he keeps refusing, we’ll be all ears.

But since they never seem to be able to do that, we’re going to thank Mr Osborne for that unusual outbreak of honesty, and for admitting that a simple point-blank refusal of democracy is the Tories’ best and only strategy to keep Scotland in the UK. Because for as long as the SNP don’t have a Plan B, it’s the only one they actually need.

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Venus and Mars 220

Posted on January 18, 2021 by

In 2014, it was women who stopped Scotland becoming independent.

But it was still a man’s fault, of course. Those of us who were around at the time, while many of the SNP’s earnest young activists of today were still squeezing their spots, will recall a multitude of media articles on how it was apparently the fairer sex’s personal antipathy to Alex Salmond that was responsible for the No camp’s victory.

And who knows, maybe that was true and maybe it wasn’t. We have no idea. But what we do know is that you can’t have it both ways.

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    • Captain Caveman on Anything But That: “East End Essex here. 🙂 Never done jellied eels, pie and mash is OK but wouldn’t seek it out. Always…Sep 2, 17:22
    • sarah on Anything But That: “Yes, Billie. And conference went along with the change of rules – it used to need 100 signatures with signatories…Sep 2, 17:05
    • Spartan 117 on Anything But That: “Careful, you’re applying logic to the illogical. The Siol nan Gaidheal activists will be along shortly to give you what…Sep 2, 16:43
    • Southernbystander on Anything But That: “You read some strange stuff on here but this comment is one of the oddest. You think England should still…Sep 2, 16:27
    • sam on Anything But That: “The Great Tapestry of Scotland is now in Galashiels in its own building. It is about twice the size of…Sep 2, 16:25
    • Spartan 117 on Anything But That: “No surprise there then. Unshocked am I that the omniclusterfuckpermashambles don’t have a kcufing clue (or “claim” not to) what’s…Sep 2, 16:05
    • Spartan 117 on Anything But That: “I think it’s an enema that’s sorely needed to flush oot all the keech, followed by an industrial-level disinfectant.Sep 2, 15:58
    • Spartan 117 on Anything But That: “Now that’s funny! Although Mrs Spartan (from Dahn Sahf) cannot stand jellied eels, pie and mash acceptable but a full…Sep 2, 15:54
    • Willie on Anything But That: “Nutzlose Essen or Useless Eaters was a term in the 30s to describe certain classes of persons. But using the…Sep 2, 15:41
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    • Willie on Anything But That: “Guarantees from John Swinney, either in public or in private are as good a bit of used toilet paper. A…Sep 2, 15:25
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    • lothianlad on Anything But That: “Just read that twat from scot goes pop ( what kind of a frucking name is that anyway) saying the…Sep 2, 14:49
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    • Young Lochinvar on Anything But That: “I see the famous Bayeux tapestry is out on loan and will be viewed today by T’ King of Oop…Sep 2, 14:11
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