The Scottish Mail On Sunday felt obliged this weekend to devote newsprint in what’s technically an actual newspaper to a piece of snark that might just be a new all-time low in the highly competitive barrel-scraping field of “SNP BAD”:
Half a page was given up to a bunch of sour complaints that the First Minister had built in FIVE MINUTES on her itinerary on a school visit (aimed at encouraging girls to take up traditionally male careers) for people to get selfies with her.
Dismayingly often, the thing that irritates us the most about the Unionist press lying to its readers isn’t the fact that they’re doing it, but the fact that they do it so insultingly badly. As an illustrative case in point, here’s the Sunday Times’ reliably dull-witted Scottish columnist Gillian Bowditch today:
Now, let’s be generous and ignore the honkingly stupid first paragraph, which paints a couple of exceptional bad years as a permanent status, and focus on the second one.
This is the demented, McCarthyite state of madness the Labour Party has reached:
This is a party now openly rejecting anyone as a member who has ever supported any other party. We’d take a minute to try to explain to them how the arithmetic of that one works out, but they’re a long, long way beyond the grasp of reason now.
Scottish Labour won a council by-election in Fife last night, held after the long-serving Communist Party/independent councillor Willie Clarke (who can be seen on the last page of our Charlie Hebdo feature here) stepped down due to ill health.
The successful candidate Mary Lockhart was understandably jubilant, but there were a couple of what seemed like pertinent facts missing from the local paper’s report.
One thing you can always guarantee on GERS Day is that the latest set of figures for Scotland’s devolved economy inside the UK will trigger another uncontrolled spurt of “SNP HONEYMOON OVER” articles from the nation’s dogged commentariat.
Today we’ve seen already examples (links below) from two ex-Scotsman editors, Iain Martin and Magnus Linklater, the latter popping up in the Times by way of a rather crass and unpleasant analogy involving Oswald Mosley and the Blackshirts.
And since we’d rather watch “Suicide Squad” again than spend any more time going over the arguments about GERS (and trust us, readers, we don’t say that lightly), we thought it’d be more fun if we finally got round to compiling a semi-definitive list of all the times the collective wisdom of Scotland’s media and opposition has confidently predicted the SNP’s imminent demise.
We originally wrote this article in March, in response to the Government Expenditure and Revenue Scotland (better known as GERS) figures for 2014-15. We’ve updated it to take account of events since that time, of which there’s been one rather major one.
Today saw the publication (just five months after the 2014-15 GERS) of the 2015-16 stats, which are again triggering a convulsive orgy of “BLACK HOLE!” articles across the media, as every Unionist in the land falls over themselves to portray their own country as a useless scrounging subsidy junkie without actually using the exact words “too wee, too poor, too stupid”.
And once again, everywhere you look there’s a “Proud Scot” screaming about how the figures – showing an essentially unchanged “deficit” despite an almost £2bn fall in oil revenue – destroy a case for independence that those same people have spent most of the last four years stridently insisting never existed in the first place.
So let’s be absolutely clear: if Jeremy Corbyn wins the Labour leadership election next month, as almost everyone expects him to, the UK (and therefore Scotland) is doomed to Conservative rule until at least 2025.
That’s not our view, but the official public position of the leader of Scottish Labour.
Should there be a second independence referendum in the next few years, Scotland’s choice will be a clear one: a generation of brutal Tory austerity, isolated from Europe (losing out on billions of pounds in funding) and the protections of the Human Rights Act, or taking responsibility for ourselves.
And every time Kezia Dugdale or her Labour colleagues in Better Together 2.0 protest that there’s another option she’ll be contradicted not by angry nationalists, but by her own words. So we’re sure everyone on all sides of the debate in Scotland will be watching the outcome of the leadership contest with interest. There’s a lot at stake.
Gordon Bain on The Fast Track: “Chill man. Lady J of Tay has this all covered.” Jun 30, 00:33
Young Lochinvar on The Fast Track: “I wonder how long Ned Stark (sorry my bad; King of oop t’ Norf Andy Burnham) will take to annoy…” Jun 30, 00:08
Young Lochinvar on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “C3PO @ 5.49 Clan Chattan? Well if not then you should make yourself familiar with the September 1396 North Inch…” Jun 29, 23:43
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on The Fast Track: “Well done Stuart. Case put coherently and succinctly. Geissler was very good too, except near the end (26.40) with his…” Jun 29, 23:42
Mark Beggan on The Fast Track: “I think it was the National Crime Agency that pressed for that.” Jun 29, 23:36
Mark Beggan on The Fast Track: “Well said Rev. The media do have their slippers under the political bed with the Crown office as the pillow.…” Jun 29, 23:28
Frazerio on The Fast Track: “Dear Rev, The more you dig, the more you expose. That the ‘Ringfenced’ investigation led to Murrell’s exposé and the…” Jun 29, 23:24
Dick Wall on The Fast Track: “I do recall some suggestions that the Peter Murrell stuff was rather forced on Police Scotland by a UK organised…” Jun 29, 23:12
Roland Watson on The Fast Track: “Are the Police and Crown Prosecution actually concluding that because Peter Murrell embezzled all the funds before the SNP had…” Jun 29, 22:57
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on The Fast Track: “WINGS OVER SCOTLAND: WHY I’M NOT DONE WITH THE PETER MURRELL CASE Scotcast, Radio Scotland, 29 Jun 2026, 29 mins…” Jun 29, 22:15
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “‘MISGENDERING’ BRANDED SEXUAL HARASSMENT IN US UNI POLICY The University of California (UC) has come under fire for including ‘misgendering’…” Jun 29, 21:43
Hatey McHateface on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Naw, Northy, agreeing that anybody who disagrees with you is a fucking moron (FM) who likes being fucked up the…” Jun 29, 21:43
Craig P on The Fast Track: “Wonder if Woman H has been getting private briefings off anyone.” Jun 29, 21:43
Karen on The Fast Track: “Just listened to you on BBC Sounds and agreed with every word, as did lawyer hubby. You thorn in the…” Jun 29, 21:37
Karen on The Fast Track: “It’s on BBC Sounds, and it’s free (like radio).” Jun 29, 21:34
Northcode on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: ““Wow, Northy, so all of us are being reamed now.” Yes… correct. You’re slow to catch on, but you got…” Jun 29, 21:18
Hatey McHateface on The Fast Track: “You’re on your honour not to watch any England games.” Jun 29, 21:13
Hatey McHateface on The Fast Track: “100% agree with your final paragraph.” Jun 29, 21:08
Northcode on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: ““Been in Scotland all my life, as have most of my MacPherson/Chattan ancestors …” You come from good Scottish stock,…” Jun 29, 21:05
sarah on The Fast Track: “Having bought a licence for the duration of the World Cup [after 12 years of not buying one] we have…” Jun 29, 20:52
Hatey McHateface on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Wow, Northy, so all of us are being reamed now. It’s obviously a fast changing situation. Over the course of…” Jun 29, 20:52
Hatey McHateface on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Any estimate for how much the export market represented by the rest of the world exceeds the export market represented…” Jun 29, 20:40
Spartan 117 on The Fast Track: “Knowing the standards at the BBC (and elsewhere across the MSM), Stu probably showed them up something rotten and schooled…” Jun 29, 19:44
Alf Baird on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Given the importance of ‘cultural assimilation’ in a colonial society, also following the Rev’s remark regarding perceptions of a supposedly…” Jun 29, 19:27
Knuckle_Heid on The Fast Track: “I hope you spent some time giving the MSM journalists tips on how to do their jobs – yourself &…” Jun 29, 19:22
Spartan 117 on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “NC @ 6:28pm Fair enough. I’m too young to have suffered the belt, thankfully that wicked and medieval practice was…” Jun 29, 19:11
100%Yes on The Fast Track: “twathater, well said I could agree more. When you listen to those on Scottish prism talking about brushing it under…” Jun 29, 19:07
Captain Caveman on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: ““I notice you were happy to dismiss the overwhelming evidence of grooming gangs because of some weaknesses with the methodology…” Jun 29, 18:56