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Archive for the ‘wtf’


Losing the plot 158

Posted on February 23, 2023 by

This is beyond insane.

Like, obviously Rangers aren’t better than Celtic.

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The feather-light touch 132

Posted on February 22, 2023 by

Yesterday, readers, we warned you that “online newspaper polls are self-selecting and vulnerable to manipulation”. Here’s what that looks like in practice.

Let’s crunch some numbers.

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A Tale Of Two Men 132

Posted on February 10, 2023 by

Below are two news reports from the Scottish Sun this week:

Both of the people arrested were male-bodied individuals who identify as women. As far as we’re aware, neither of them has a Gender Recognition Certificate. They are both the same sex, biologically and legally, and both describe themselves as female.

Yet in giving statements about their respective arrests, Police Scotland called one of them a man and one of them a woman. And we’re having no luck finding out why.

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The Fury Of The Furries 119

Posted on February 01, 2023 by

On January 22nd the violent, abusive transgender activist Jack Douglas, who now uses the name Beth and the Twitter username “pickle_bee” (slang for “somebody who likes dick”), threatened that feminist campaigner Kellie-Jay Keen’s imminent “Standing For Women” event in Glasgow was going to be disrupted by the “furry” community, who happen to be hosting a gathering at the Crowne Plaza that same weekend.

The intimidatory protest was also publicised by SNP MSP Christina McKelvie, who led the standing ovation the Scottish Parliament gave Beth and his creepy friends the day it passed the Gender Recognition Reform bill.

“Why? What possible grudge could furries have against women?”, a friend giggled, as I related this news to her. But to answer that we have to know who these people are.

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Don’t you think she looks tired? 289

Posted on January 29, 2023 by

It’s been a rough old week for the First Minister.

And next week’s not looking much better.

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Doublethink, Expert Level 144

Posted on January 27, 2023 by

This is incredible.

We couldn’t put it better than Alba MP Neale Hanvey, who said:

A cunning plan… let’s fight to preserve a law we’ve just done a major U-turn on, completely undermining our claims it was ‘safe’. Remember when Scottish Labour played opposite sides of the argument? Well, even they didn’t argue both sides on the same front page on the same day.”

The SNP are a flailing shambles of incompetence, under a leader fast losing her iron grip on her own party as they watch her turning it into a laughing stock with growing horror. More and more disquiet reaches our ears from within her increasingly leaky and nervous Parliamentary groups. Who will be the first to tie their courage to a flagpole and make the move to mutiny? We can only wait and see.

The Upside Down 61

Posted on January 25, 2023 by

Sorry readers, been a bit busy with research today. But here’s a news:

Now the Catholic Church loves all The Gays and Stonewall hates them. It’s 2023, and welcome to whatever the Hell this is, everyone.

The joke isn’t funny any more 217

Posted on January 24, 2023 by

Last night we couldn’t help chuckling at this.

Because as someone else on Twitter mocked, what’s actually laughable is the idea that criminals would never engage in any kind of deception in order to commit crimes, and that someone like Peter Tatchell would be so idiotic as to suggest such a thing.

But tonight it’s not even blackly comic.

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Sometimes there are no words 89

Posted on January 23, 2023 by

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The lowest of the low 168

Posted on January 16, 2023 by

…by which we mean “IQs in the history of the Scottish Parliament”.

Put a cushion on your desk before you start listening to this, gang, or you might hurt your jaw. Because surely nobody quite as paralysingly, catastrophically thick as this clueless, bumbling, deranged and dangerous imbecile has ever been allowed to make the laws of Scotland before. We wouldn’t let her make orange squash, to be honest.

And yes, we’re including Kezia Dugdale and Jamie Greene in that reckoning.

(If you weren’t aware, the UK government HAS now decided to use a Section 35 order to block the appalling Gender Recognition Reform bill. We support it wholeheartedly.)

There are no ships 127

Posted on January 05, 2023 by

The response to our post of last night has been astonishing.

(Although we’re not sure how “new followers” is being calculated there. We actually have more than 500 extra followers since 8pm – we can only assume that it’s only counting those who right-clicked and followed from that specific tweet.)

And part of the reason is that it’s plain that almost nobody knew about the report, even though it came out three months ago (when Wings was still in retirement). We had to dig deep to find any media coverage of it at all, and what there was was cursory at best, and sometimes a lot worse.

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Raise all of the flags 186

Posted on January 04, 2023 by

As a journalist, readers, sometimes you want to pep a story up a bit. From time to time, it’s perfectly legitimate to sensationalise a relatively minor aspect of something in order to draw attention to a worthwhile but intrinsically dull subject.

At other times, you find yourself in the strange position of having to talk a subject down as much as you can, because if you simply report the facts calmly and neutrally it’ll sound so outrageous and ridiculous and deranged that everyone will think you’ve gone full-on, tinfoil-hat, pencils-up-the-nose insane.

Today is the second kind of day.

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    • George Ferguson on Pick Your Poison: “My last attempt at humour in a post has been lost to moderation. So let’s be serious. How do any…May 7, 16:21
    • Big Jock on Pick Your Poison: “Reform are an English national party. Any Scot voting for an English national party is deranged! Kelly is still spouting…May 7, 16:03
    • robertkknight on Pick Your Poison: “Constituency paper duly spoiled… W.nkers, the lot of them! Pity about two separate pro-Indy parties on the regional list (I…May 7, 15:37
    • Captain Caveman on The value bet: ““I couldn’t give a shiny shite what Mayor’s they vote for in another country today,” Er what? What are you…May 7, 15:34
    • Hatey McHateface on Pick Your Poison: “Nice try, Alf. I doubt very much that anybody half-decent fears the kind of people who cheer on lassie torturers.May 7, 15:29
    • Geri on Pick Your Poison: “That’s what happens when you agree terms, (Minsk1 & Minsk2) get the United Nations to rubber stamp it & then…May 7, 15:25
    • Hatey McHateface on Pick Your Poison: ““Scotland has zero control over immigration” Bleeding obviously, if Scotland votes Reform at the next WM GE, Scotland has lots…May 7, 15:24
    • Hatey McHateface on The value bet: ““a shiny shite what Mayor’s they vote” What Mayor’s what, Geri? Such a tiny little thing, yet completely and irrevocably…May 7, 15:20
    • Hatey McHateface on The value bet: “Hae a haddie this time, Wally. And keep that free flipper still. Nae flapping doon below.May 7, 15:15
    • Alf Baird on Pick Your Poison: ““who do we vote for to fix that?” Obviously, to end ‘that’ and the continued colonization of Scots we need…May 7, 15:08
    • Geri on The value bet: “Aye James, Now that wouldn’t be deliberately interfering in another countries elections now would it? I couldn’t give a shiny…May 7, 14:46
    • Captain Caveman on The value bet: ““Tick tock” Yeah, but that’s enough about your source material, eh pal. Tool.May 7, 14:42
    • James on The value bet: “They bite every time. Bless. Comical.May 7, 14:37
    • Hatey McHateface on Pick Your Poison: “I forgot about the autopsy. I’ve been thinking about the wake. Bet there will be SFA put behind the bar.May 7, 14:37
    • Hatey McHateface on The value bet: ““Tick Tock”, Wally Walrus? That’s ane o the fragrant Geri’s signature lines. Just how many identities are you posting under?May 7, 14:20
    • Aidan on The value bet: “Oh aye does he, and this information was provided with supporting evidence to the police who arrested and prosecuted the…May 7, 14:14
    • James on The value bet: “The three yoon stooges are all oot the day eh? Funny, Phil Boswell has 2 or 3 returning officer contacts…May 7, 14:02
    • Hatey McHateface on The value bet: “Loving your Pictish support for ATLS, Northy. OK if I gatecrash the wake on Saturday? (That’s a rhetorical question :)…May 7, 13:43
    • Hatey McHateface on The value bet: “Are there 2 CM’s? The famous one is a cheerleader for the tunnel-skulking, lassie-torturing ham ass scum.May 7, 13:40
    • Hatey McHateface on The value bet: “Here’s another fish fer ye, James. Enjoy, but mind, baith flippers above the table!May 7, 13:35
    • Hatey McHateface on Pick Your Poison: “That’s a bit better, Confused. But I note you’re still being coy. Interesting that you believe it was US warmongering,…May 7, 13:32
    • Hatey McHateface on Pick Your Poison: “Please revise and re-post, Confused. We need to know how to vote if we hate Dews.May 7, 13:26
    • Captain Caveman on The value bet: “Yes that’s right James, it was … THEM!!! “ooo-oOOooOOO-ooOOHHH!!!”? Get the Bacofoil headgear ready, DEFCON1! (Alternatively, y’know maybe the source…May 7, 13:14
    • Cynicus on Pick Your Poison: “Northcode says: 7 May, 2026 at 12:20 “VOTE FOR:” ======= Nobody! The key question here is whom to VOTE AGAINST?…May 7, 13:12
    • Aidan on The value bet: “@Dan that comment was aimed at Geri not you, you at least seem to be one of the few BTL…May 7, 13:10
    • Captain Caveman on Pick Your Poison: “@Cuphook Yes, it’s a major concern for many in the UK, including Scotland, and Reform is avowed to tackle it…May 7, 13:01
    • Dan on The value bet: “AIdan says:”I’d guess this is all a bit of a game for you since you spend 100% of your time…May 7, 12:51
    • Confused on Pick Your Poison: “Then theres the nutter parties – an abolish holyrood party (I appreciate the sentiment but – do you really think…May 7, 12:50
    • Confused on Pick Your Poison: “ERECTION DAY on telly last night john curtice does not look well; the poor man looks like a cadaver what…May 7, 12:46
    • Geri on Pick Your Poison: “Reform will fix nothing on immigration. That’s a global elite problem & we don’t get a vote on them. &…May 7, 12:45
  • A tall tale



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