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Penny Royalty 413

Posted on July 08, 2023 by

Advertisement Feature 148

Posted on July 07, 2023 by

Just for a change, let’s have a Friday-night competition!

Sharp-eyed readers will have noticed that former First Minister Alex Salmond is staging a show in the Spiegeltent at the Edinburgh Fringe next month, from 4-13 August.

You may even have seen a bit of online criticism from certain po-faced pseudonats about the fact that Salmond is sharing a platform with – gasp! – a Yoon, in the shape of the “last of the traditional Tories”, David Davis MP.

Almost like a debate or something.

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Kirsty Blackman’s Genitals 424

Posted on June 13, 2023 by

Some of you still won’t have seen them, er, we mean “this”:

While it may have been the funniest – and Joanna Cherry silently spoke for every sane person in the nation as it went on – remarkably it wasn’t even the stupidest or most offensive part of her speech to yesterday’s Parliamentary debate in Westminster Hall about the definition of “sex” in the Equality Act.

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If you tolerate this 165

Posted on May 12, 2023 by

Below is a clip from last night’s ITV News West Country.

It really needs a wider audience.

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A standard progression 108

Posted on May 11, 2023 by

It begins:

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Walking with zombies 274

Posted on May 09, 2023 by

We’ll be honest with you, folks, we’re still pretty amused at Pete Wishart being all over the papers saying the exact same stuff we’ve been saying for the last three years, and for which Pete Wishart has called us all the names under the sun.

But jeez, guys, at least get your story straight.

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Quid Pro Nihilo 252

Posted on April 30, 2023 by

When Humza Yousaf was campaigning to be elected leader of the SNP, he pledged that he would be not only the First Minister, but also the “First Activist”. It transpired that this in fact meant chapping a few doors in Dundee, just down the road from his home in Broughty Ferry (and on the way to his Glasgow constituency).

But what might a real “First Activist” have done with the position and power?

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The road ahead from here 150

Posted on February 17, 2023 by

Can you spot the subtle change between these two National stories, readers?

Now, as they’re both in The National the standard of journalism is obviously completely dreadful, and so neither of them actually explains their headline. Nobody is named or quoted even anonymously, and there’s no elaboration other than that “[a member of] the NEC appeared to halt any proposal to use the next General Election as a proxy constitutional vote”, with no indication of HOW they “appeared” to do that.

But they DO raise the question of where on Earth – whoever becomes its new leader – the SNP goes from the smouldering bomb crater that Nicola Sturgeon has left it in.

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A chance to begin again 45

Posted on February 10, 2023 by

The press watchdog IPSO, which is responsible for the language used by the media with regard to transgender issues, is reviewing its policies.

We urge readers to participate in the consultation.

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Apropos of nothing in particular 123

Posted on February 09, 2023 by

Some sage advice from one of your elected representatives.

Let’s all be careful out there, folks.

Bear Toilet Update 183

Posted on January 31, 2023 by

In a SHOCKING REVELATION that NOBODY COULD HAVE PREDICTED, it turns out that the people of Britain think that putting criminals with penises into women’s prisons maybe isn’t the absolutely best idea.

Just 24% of respondents supported the idea of intact males who’d committed even non-violent and non-sexual crimes being housed alongside women, while a mere 15% – all of them red-flag danger cases in urgent need of having their hard drives checked – thought that rapists and sexual assaulters with their dingle-dangles still swinging in the wind had any business being incarcerated with the vulnerable and traumatised females who make up most of the female prison population.

Four times as many wanted them locked up with their fellow male offenders, while it would appear that approximately a quarter of Britons are whimpering custard-witted doughbrains who didn’t understand the question.

We’ll leave you to digest this startling and unexpected news, readers.

The Grooming Of Holyrood 244

Posted on January 23, 2023 by

It’s been hard to avoid the puffy, perpetually-smirking face of Edinburgh transactivist Beth Douglas, the co-convener of the Rainbow Greens, recently. He’s been all over the media, from Glasgow Live and Edinburgh Live to The National (print and podcast) to Penis News to various national TV bulletins, and interviewed by Owen Jones.

Last week he was prominent in a protest outside Queen Elizabeth House against the UK government’s S35 intervention over the Gender Recognition Reform Bill. He spoke alongside MSPs including Patrick Harvie, Karen Adam, Ross Greer, Paul Sweeney and Alex Cole-Hamilton, who lavished fulsome and effusive praise on him, going so far as to say that it was for Douglas personally that MSPs had pushed the bill through.

But Douglas wasn’t always called Beth.

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    • Hatey McHateface on The Party Of The Dead: “Mair mince. You’re determined to never focus on anything practically useful, Alf. I bet if you spent an afternoon on…Aug 9, 23:48
    • Alf Baird on The Party Of The Dead: ““a warning from history about getting into Unions” Annexation inevitably resulted in the territorial alienation of Scots and Scotland, the…Aug 9, 21:37
    • Hatey McHateface on The Party Of The Dead: “Aw, Alf, I’ve only just noticed your name check. So you’re an antisemite too? It figures. Is that something else…Aug 9, 20:42
    • robertkknight on The Party Of The Dead: “Jamie VI… A man of dubious morals and questionable intelligence. Dr Johnson probably had him mind when proclaiming “The noblest…Aug 9, 20:25
    • Hatey McHateface on The Party Of The Dead: “I’m 100% certain that a Middle Ages fat quine would be regarded as super model material today. She was probably…Aug 9, 20:20
    • Alf Baird on The Party Of The Dead: “” is that simple extrapolation regarding professors?” The ‘phenomenon’ (i.e. the tendency to not employ Scots) seems to affect all…Aug 9, 20:01
    • Dan on The Party Of The Dead: “No response Jay… I guess CC is busy listing his Rangey and Porsche on Marketplace, and packing his belongings for…Aug 9, 17:21
    • Southernbystander on The Party Of The Dead: “Thanks Alf. One thing though you say you looked at three ‘ancient’ institutions but say above ‘all 19 higher education…Aug 9, 17:03
    • Captain Caveman on The Party Of The Dead: “@Alf FYI the propelling of Cambridge Professors in this manner isn’t the fault nor desire of “Reform supporters” – they’re…Aug 9, 15:34
    • Alf Baird on The Party Of The Dead: ““what is your actual evidence” I looked at some 40 departments in three of Scotland’s ‘ancient’ universities and found that…Aug 9, 15:08
    • Young Lochinvar on The Party Of The Dead: “Not one to celebrate, today is the 1503 anniversary of the so called “Marriage of the Thistle and the Rose”…Aug 9, 14:18
    • Southernbystander on The Party Of The Dead: “Alf said: ‘Same reason all 19 higher education institutions in Scotland mostly appoint people from outside Scotland as professors’. You…Aug 9, 14:15
    • Alf Baird on The Party Of The Dead: ““Had a wee chuckle at a Reform supporter stating they’ve had enough of the UK, and he and wife now…Aug 9, 14:06
    • Ex President Xiden on The Party Of The Dead: “So in this scenario if it was the wife who had been defrauding on a massive scale, buying camper vans…Aug 9, 10:36
    • Captain Caveman on The Party Of The Dead: “Dry your eyes, Dan. You were the one mocking “Reform supporters” for bemoaning what even you (now) consider to be…Aug 9, 10:32
    • Dan on The Party Of The Dead: “So another day and yer still acting an arse and pathetically jist casting untrue derogatory assertions about in a woeful…Aug 9, 10:20
    • Captain Caveman on The Party Of The Dead: “Oh do be quiet, thicko. It wasn’t Englishmen “like me” who promoted this fake professor and lauded him to the…Aug 9, 09:08
    • Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on The Party Of The Dead: “Just saw this Turkish proverb somewhere: « The forest was shrinking but the trees kept voting for the axe as…Aug 8, 22:18
    • Hatey McHateface on The Party Of The Dead: “If roles were reversed, maybe the wife would have bought a smaller camper van, and a smaller Jag. And no…Aug 8, 20:47
    • Jay on The Party Of The Dead: “Caveman, (he of mega-loot and high-flying career) regarding your 11.41am comment: I was wondering whether you might be a well-informed…Aug 8, 20:34
    • agentx on The Party Of The Dead: “The “I won’t say any more on the matter” Sturgeon: “She argued the scrutiny she faced had a gendered dimension.…Aug 8, 20:25
    • Dan on The Party Of The Dead: “Ach, now yer jist acting out like a spoilt bairn due to yer lack of tolerance of other folk’s often…Aug 8, 18:59
    • Stevie on The Party Of The Dead: “I would add, the same people who attacked me are the same gullibles travels, believing Hamas are freedom fighters and…Aug 8, 18:12
    • Chas on The Party Of The Dead: “Maybe, just maybe your ‘speech’ is being censored because it is the same shite over and over again? The learned…Aug 8, 17:17
    • Captain Caveman on The Party Of The Dead: “That’s right Dan. Fed up of twats like you.Aug 8, 16:57
    • Dan on The Party Of The Dead: “Had a wee chuckle at a Reform supporter stating they’ve had enough of the UK, and he and wife now…Aug 8, 16:39
    • Stevie on The Party Of The Dead: “Reading through this thread, reminds me of my being te first voice to point out that they/them had discarded all/any…Aug 8, 15:12
    • Hatey McHateface on The Party Of The Dead: ““It is a spectrum, none of which is any worse, or less or more worse, but it is a spectrum…Aug 8, 14:05
    • Captain Caveman on The Party Of The Dead: “Yes, I read that piece that Hatey linked to the other day with incredulity giving way to rage, rage giving…Aug 8, 11:41
    • David Ferguson on The Party Of The Dead: “It appears I was wrong. Glasgow did in fact award him a full professorship. I think it was the Dugdale…Aug 8, 11:09
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