Wings Over Scotland is 12 years old today. And since absolutely nothing is happening in the world of Scottish independence – and hasn’t for, frankly, years – we thought we’d take you on a trip back to the day we were born, since when things DID change.
Remember when we had a leader who could get the UK government to do stuff it didn’t want to do, readers? AND actually increase support for independence? Good times.
We held back from writing about yesterday’s judgment from Lady Dorrian in the Court Of Session in the hope that if we stared at it for long enough we could get it to make some kind of sense. But it does not. On the face of it, the country’s second-most-senior judge is simply a drooling imbecile.
Because that submission is not the least bit difficult to follow.
The greatest intellectual weakness of the independence movement is its attitude towards Trident, and trying to reason with people about it (whether readers or other independence activists) is consistently one of the most frustrating aspects of writing Wings, because nuclear disarmers and Unionists are equally impervious to logic on the subject.
The UK’s nuclear “deterrent” – or as it was more accurately and memorably described by the former Vulcan nuclear bomber squadron commander Air Commodore Alastair Mackie, “a virility symbol, like a stick-on hairy chest” – is the greatest gift to a future Scottish independence negotiating team imaginable.
The rest of the UK gets a lot of economic and infrastructural benefits from Scotland, like water and energy, but ultimately it’s not massively bothered about those. Water is not yet a critical area and energy can be sourced elsewhere, and in any event Brexit shows us that the UK is more than willing to do itself enormous harm in the service of ideological political goals.
To be honest it barely seems worth marking the ninth anniversary of the indyref. The day our nation – albeit narrowly – bottled out of becoming a real one again is nothing to be celebrated. The supposed party of independence has run away from the fight, concerned only with feathering its own nest, and its era of power looks to be drawing to a bitter and deserved close.
But there remains one grave and glaring grievance.
And no matter what anyone says, it’ll dog democracy and condemn Scottish politics to eternal stagnation until it’s addressed.
The reality-TV let’s say “personality” Kelly Given – who Wings readers previously met on a trip to New York for Tartan Week with a raft of SNP let’s say “celebrities” a couple of months ago – has been off on another nice holiday.
Last night she told both the viewers of BBC Scotland’s “Seven Days” that she’d just spent three weeks on an island in Greece, where apparently she was quite shocked to discover that the Mediterranean nation was hot in July.
At least, we assume there was a sizeable current being passed through it, as little else could explain the visibly uncomfortable half-hour experienced by hapless Stonewall chair Iain Anderson with Beth Rigby last night, or the seemingly random changes every few seconds in his facial expressions, body language and accent.
(Just about the only constant, other than his sweating top lip, was the deeply irritating modern phenomenon of stupid people starting every sentence with the word “So…”.)
If you’re a connoisseur of vacuous, nervous awkwardness you’re in for a real treat. If you want to see a human being actually answering any questions with even the tiniest shred of coherence, pertinence or honesty, maybe give it a miss.
Just for a change, let’s have a Friday-night competition!
Sharp-eyed readers will have noticed that former First Minister Alex Salmond is staging a show in the Spiegeltent at the Edinburgh Fringe next month, from 4-13 August.
You may even have seen a bit of online criticism from certain po-faced pseudonats about the fact that Salmond is sharing a platform with – gasp! – a Yoon, in the shape of the “last of the traditional Tories”, David Davis MP.
Young Lochinvar on When the law breaks the law: “Anyone else reckon Bain’s heid has a similar(ish) profile to a movie Predator? Just without the odd breathy way of…” Feb 19, 22:36
robertkknight on When the law breaks the law: “Pay day next week…standby! The alphabets and their party connections are no secret. Nor indeed their motivations. They still enjoy…” Feb 19, 22:01
agentx on When the law breaks the law: “O/T – but the Mens’s curling team are through to the final – guaranteed at least a silver medal and…” Feb 19, 22:01
Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “You were on fire, Willie, until your second last para. Then you crashed and burned. The case we’re discussing here…” Feb 19, 18:40
Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “We’re only a few weeks out from choosing Scotland’s government for the next 5 years. Surely it’s not too much…” Feb 19, 18:31
Willie on When the law breaks the law: “As is now clear to see the rule of law is a hoodlum’s charter. When the state can maliciously try…” Feb 19, 18:18
Effijy on When the law breaks the law: “I’ve donated as we must when faced yet again by corrupt and immoral practices from government. Your courage is remarkable…” Feb 19, 18:12
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on When the law breaks the law: “Not sure whether or not a video link to Fergus Ewing’s Holyrood intervention is embedded in the above article, but…” Feb 19, 17:51
ScotsRenewables on When the law breaks the law: “I;ve donated a tiny amount, and am pleased to see that the appeal is going well – is there any…” Feb 19, 15:04
Hatey McHateface on The Future Is Yesterday: “It’s a good day to bury news, whether bad, or just awkward. Plaid Cymru has dropped its pledge to get…” Feb 19, 14:37
Hatey McHateface on The Future Is Yesterday: “Sez you, Alf. When you continually claim that anyone who disagrees with you is a colonialist, nobody can be surprised…” Feb 19, 14:27
Iain More on The Future Is Yesterday: “Off Topic – I hear that the Sex Trafficker Andrew Mountbatten has been arrested. =============================================================== Re 100%Yes says: I am…” Feb 19, 13:08
Andrew Kidd on The Future Is Yesterday: “Embarrassing position for Tom Arthur. Govt Minister 5th on the West of Scotland list. Resounding vote of confidence for Stuart…” Feb 19, 13:02
Confused on The Future Is Yesterday: “ps – the royal household were paying their gofers below minimum wage. maybe Andy will be found drowned in a…” Feb 19, 12:53
Tony Little on The Future Is Yesterday: “I have felt for a long time, certainly the last 4 Holyrood elections, that NO constituency candidate should also be…” Feb 19, 12:39
Confused on The Future Is Yesterday: “crazy days – the royals are “untouchable” (usually); example – working for the royals is shit and some years ago…” Feb 19, 11:58
Young Lochinvar on The Future Is Yesterday: “Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor’s daily morning routine. 1. Wake up 2. Ablutions 3. Issue daily denial of any wrongdoing 4. Rearrange teddies…” Feb 19, 11:28
Alf Baird on The Future Is Yesterday: “We are no longer in the realm of ‘conspiracy theories’ when even colonialists in Holyrood are calling for another Lord…” Feb 19, 11:27
Hatey McHateface on The Future Is Yesterday: “Sez you, TURABDIN. Requires but an hundred driven, committed, savvy, rational, honest, authentic Scots prepared to stand on a plebiscitary…” Feb 19, 10:00
Aidan on The Future Is Yesterday: “That was the point I was avoiding admitting Hatey 😉” Feb 19, 09:53
TURABDIN on The Future Is Yesterday: “AS SCOTLAND is not a functioning authentic democracy does the outcome of any election matter? May as well burn the…” Feb 19, 09:26
Hatey McHateface on The Future Is Yesterday: “I hadn’t twigged that Your Party are an alternative route to Indy. After typing the question into Google, I got…” Feb 19, 09:16
100%Yes on The Future Is Yesterday: “AYE, The polling figures for most of the parties are at the lowest they have been in a long time…” Feb 19, 08:45
Hatey McHateface on The Future Is Yesterday: ““American English NAZI and Child Rapist Party “Reform”” You left out “faeces eating”, Iain. I think it goes best right…” Feb 19, 07:52