Wings Over Scotland

Wings Over Scotland is 12 years old today. And since absolutely nothing is happening in the world of Scottish independence – and hasn’t for, frankly, years – we thought we’d take you on a trip back to the day we were born, since when things DID change.

Remember when we had a leader who could get the UK government to do stuff it didn’t want to do, readers? AND actually increase support for independence? Good times.

We held back from writing about yesterday’s judgment from Lady Dorrian in the Court Of Session in the hope that if we stared at it for long enough we could get it to make some kind of sense. But it does not. On the face of it, the country’s second-most-senior judge is simply a drooling imbecile.

Because that submission is not the least bit difficult to follow.

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Or not, as the case may be.

All aboard!

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The greatest intellectual weakness of the independence movement is its attitude towards Trident, and trying to reason with people about it (whether readers or other independence activists) is consistently one of the most frustrating aspects of writing Wings, because nuclear disarmers and Unionists are equally impervious to logic on the subject.

The UK’s nuclear “deterrent” – or as it was more accurately and memorably described by the former Vulcan nuclear bomber squadron commander Air Commodore Alastair Mackie, “a virility symbol, like a stick-on hairy chest” – is the greatest gift to a future Scottish independence negotiating team imaginable.

The rest of the UK gets a lot of economic and infrastructural benefits from Scotland, like water and energy, but ultimately it’s not massively bothered about those. Water is not yet a critical area and energy can be sourced elsewhere, and in any event Brexit shows us that the UK is more than willing to do itself enormous harm in the service of ideological political goals.

But Trident is a whole different kettle of sweaty underwater men.

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To be honest it barely seems worth marking the ninth anniversary of the indyref. The day our nation – albeit narrowly – bottled out of becoming a real one again is nothing to be celebrated. The supposed party of independence has run away from the fight, concerned only with feathering its own nest, and its era of power looks to be drawing to a bitter and deserved close.

But there remains one grave and glaring grievance.

And no matter what anyone says, it’ll dog democracy and condemn Scottish politics to eternal stagnation until it’s addressed.

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The reality-TV let’s say “personality” Kelly Given – who Wings readers previously met on a trip to New York for Tartan Week with a raft of SNP let’s say “celebrities” a couple of months ago – has been off on another nice holiday.

Last night she told both the viewers of BBC Scotland’s “Seven Days” that she’d just spent three weeks on an island in Greece, where apparently she was quite shocked to discover that the Mediterranean nation was hot in July.

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Me talking about debanking on TalkTV earlier today.

At least, we assume there was a sizeable current being passed through it, as little else could explain the visibly uncomfortable half-hour experienced by hapless Stonewall chair Iain Anderson with Beth Rigby last night, or the seemingly random changes every few seconds in his facial expressions, body language and accent.

(Just about the only constant, other than his sweating top lip, was the deeply irritating modern phenomenon of stupid people starting every sentence with the word “So…”.)

If you’re a connoisseur of vacuous, nervous awkwardness you’re in for a real treat. If you want to see a human being actually answering any questions with even the tiniest shred of coherence, pertinence or honesty, maybe give it a miss.

Just for a change, let’s have a Friday-night competition!

Sharp-eyed readers will have noticed that former First Minister Alex Salmond is staging a show in the Spiegeltent at the Edinburgh Fringe next month, from 4-13 August.

You may even have seen a bit of online criticism from certain po-faced pseudonats about the fact that Salmond is sharing a platform with – gasp! – a Yoon, in the shape of the “last of the traditional Tories”, David Davis MP.

Almost like a debate or something.

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Some of you still won’t have seen them, er, we mean “this”:

While it may have been the funniest – and Joanna Cherry silently spoke for every sane person in the nation as it went on – remarkably it wasn’t even the stupidest or most offensive part of her speech to yesterday’s Parliamentary debate in Westminster Hall about the definition of “sex” in the Equality Act.

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